Damn it, I just wrote you a message but it deleted it! Alright, well time to start over....
What's up, littledragon? First off, I think you most definitely have the ability to conquer your demons. At least I hope so, because if not, that means we are probably both screwed. But we can do it. Lots and lots of people have conquered heroin addiction. It seems like you are at least tired of the lifestyle of being physically hooked or else you wouldn't be posting in the Dark Side.
That's cool you have a govt. contracting job too. This is my first "real job" post-graduation (I graduated in May). I haven't been here too long, since the beginning of January. It's all very new to me, but I like it a lot more than my old job at Borders bookstore, which was cool in theory, but in reality retail is very annoying. I'm kinda envious you live in the UK. I don't know why, it has always seemed cool ot me and I wanted to move to London but from what I hear it's incredibly expensive. I don't know, I really liked it there when I went on vacation when I was a lot younger. It just seems like an exotic place without me having to learn a new language I guess.
Going to the gym is a good idea! I have a gym membership too, and whenever I go there after having a crappy day craving or generally feeling irritable, I always come out feeling much better and refreshed. For a long time I had a gym membership too but didn't go, because I was lazy or on a drug binge, but I'm trying to go more consistently now. Also will start running again when it's nicer out. I was a long distance runner in HS.
So I assume the job thing is what is making you want to quit finally? Yeah, I've been doing alright lately, although this past week I got somewhat close to relapsing. Luckily drugs are kind of outside of my way, so it would take time and effort for me to go get them. Most of my friends are not part of the drug scene, although I do have one close friend who is really trying to be
more of a part of it. He is always trying to get heroin or other opiates, and sent me text asking if I wanted any H, but I was able to say no luckily. Probably mostly becuase I figured he couldn't get it. But yes, job keeps me from relapsing. Mostly just a general fear of withdrawals is the biggest thing. I never wanted to be on methadone or suboxone long-term--I didn't like the idea of just moving my physical addiction to something else. But that also makes it very easy to relapse back onto heroin when I get off it. Also it was just costly for me to afford a drug habit. I really couldn't afford it. Also, I really wanted to pursue other things in my life that drugs was holding me back from. I wanted to learn guitar, to watch a lot of film and read a lot. I'm kinda OCD or something in that I view doing these things while high as "cheating" in a sense, because well, I dont' really know why. So I used that as motivation to get off the heroin as well. One thing I found is that it's really easy to have motivation to do a lot of stuff while high on heroin, but once you get off of it, it's
a lot harder to keep up that same motivation.
I would say yeah you should change your group of friends and your environment, but I understand it's a lot harder than that if your boyfriend is involved in the scene. I used to use my ex girlfriend as motivation to quit, but I think finally she had had too many trust issues with me becuase of my lying about drug use and I also cheated on her, so we broke up. That made quitting so much harder for me. We had been dating for 5 years or so, so she was as big of a security blanket for me as the drugs were. It's tough, but I think we can get through this. PM me sometime if you ever want to talk. Good luck!
I look forward to hearing from you again
Hopefully something will change soon 
