Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

[dizzychainsaw]

I am addicted to percocet and ms contin. I have been trying to get clean on my own for a long time now. My addiction has cost me a lot. I may go to jail soon because of it. I am not trying to quit on my own anymore because it just doesn't work. I can quit for a few days but then I give into temptation sometimes even after I'm finished with the withdrawal. For me, the mental aspect is the worst. I feel like I need them and like they make everthing "better'' I know that isn't true though. I started going to a substance abuse clinic and we are considering a 28 day program (inpatient). I really do want to quit. I am sick of living this kind of life.

 

[breh529]

I am addicted to percocet and ms contin. I have been trying to get clean on my own for a long time now. My addiction has cost me a lot. I may go to jail soon because of it. I am not trying to quit on my own anymore because it just doesn't work. I can quit for a few days but then I give into temptation sometimes even after I'm finished with the withdrawal. For me, the mental aspect is the worst. I feel like I need them and like they make everthing "better'' I know that isn't true though. I started going to a substance abuse clinic and we are considering a 28 day program (inpatient). I really do want to quit. I am sick of living this kind of life.

Hang in there man. Even if you have to go to to inpatient, do whatever it takes. I know where your coming from any everything. Its my 5th day clean off of dope, and even with no withdrawals at all anymore, I wanna use so bad. Even though it made my life a living hell, I sometimes just think of running away from my life and going back.

 

[ErikTheRed]

This is truly an inspiring thread, props to everyone that has successfully kicked their habit.

I have a quick question for those of you with opiate experience. I've been using opiates on and off (mostly on, with some one week breaks here and there) for the last year. It's been mostly H for the last month and a half. As it typically goes I started with weaker pharms and moved on to 80mg Oxy's and H as my DOC's.

My last shot (100mg morphine) was taken almost 24 hours ago, it got me moderately high, nothing major, no nod. I'm going through moderate withdrawals right now, consisting of anxiety and diarrhea mostly. I'm wondering how much worse things will get over the next day?

Thanks for reading.

 

[breh529]

This is truly an inspiring thread, props to everyone that has successfully kicked their habit.

I have a quick question for those of you with opiate experience. I've been using opiates on and off (mostly on, with some one week breaks here and there) for the last year. It's been mostly H for the last month and a half. As it typically goes I started with weaker pharms and moved on to 80mg Oxy's and H as my DOC's.

My last shot (100mg morphine) was taken almost 24 hours ago, it got me moderately high, nothing major, no nod. I'm going through moderate withdrawals right now, consisting of anxiety and diarrhea mostly. I'm wondering how much worse things will get over the next day?

Thanks for reading.

It's probably going to be the worst tomorrow. After that things should start easing up. Day two was hell for me. Day three was kind of bad, lots of aches and the jitters. By day four IME things really started to subside. Good luck dude

 

[QuasiStoned]

Well here we go again. 16 month pod habit with my last considerable break about 5 months ago. I'm getting tired of living my life around this habit, and most of all I'm tired of having to wait like 48 hours between doses if I have any hopes of catching a buzz.

I remember the days when I could easily go 24 hours without a hint of sickness, and 48 hours was a cakewalk. The other night I dosed a pretty heavy dose for myself and even caught a buzz. To my absolute shock I woke up the next morning stretching and yawning - the onset of withdrawal symptoms. As the day went on they only got worse - it's now 4:00 AM and I had caved in and used some of the tea I had in the fridge. It was enough to take the edge off the withdrawals but I'm concerned because normally at this point I would have JUST begun to feel withdrawals.

I dunno if it's tolerance or if I'm just metabolizing them quicker, whatever the case I find it a little worrisome and think it's time for another break with the assistance of tapering. I really wish I had the motivation to just quit and say "fuck this, I want my life back." This has gotten to be a really long term habit though and I remember the last time I quit I was still feeling shitty after 2 weeks of sobriety. What can I say? Addiction is tougher than I realized and I feel like I'm a bit over my head at this point.

I need a good week of tapering then maybe I'll be in a better state of mind. I remember things always seemed hardest at first but got easier with time. We'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I hope everyone else is doing okay. The constant ups and downs of opiate abuse can be rough, sometimes I forget that I had something of a life before I discovered these little bastard pods. And how the fuck does time pass so fast when addicted to opiates? I got my first taste of addiction almost 2 years ago now, starting with kratom and took to pods like a fish to water. I suppose I'm just venting a bit.... it just irritates me how much of a fucking hermit I've become these days and how I could be spending my time doing hundreds of more productive things. But no - I waste all of my time and effort to obtaining a nod. An escape (always temporary, so short lived) from the hell I've made of my life.

*edit* - Congrats on the sobriety KC!!

 

[dizzychainsaw]

Hang in there man. Even if you have to go to to inpatient, do whatever it takes. I know where your coming from any everything. Its my 5th day clean off of dope, and even with no withdrawals at all anymore, I wanna use so bad. Even though it made my life a living hell, I sometimes just think of running away from my life and going back.

I think an inpatient treatment center would really help me a lot. I just have to be able to take the 28 days off of work. It doesn't matter how many pills I take, it is never enough. I always want more. I don't know how to live without the pills anymore. I have been addicted to and quit many drugs, but for some reason the opiates are proving to be the hardest.

 

[Ashley26]

I'm on hour 21 of 100+ oxy (swallowed) habit a day for , I guess, a year or so? it didn't get to such high dose until recently.

I can't stop crying please tell me this will go away.

 

[Georgie25]

I'm on hour 21 of 100+ oxy (swallowed) habit a day for , I guess, a year or so? it didn't get to such high dose until recently.

I can't stop crying please tell me this will go away.

Keep it up! It's good you are trying to quit, what made you want to quit BTW?
What always helped me get through the withdrawals would be thinking about how much the drug use was negatively affecting my life, taking all my money, not being able to do anything without using heroin, not even getting high anymore just using to stay well and it's just not fun at all once you get to that point in your use...

Just keep thinking that if you keep it up and get thru the w/ds thats only a couples of days of physical pain you have to go thru and in return you can get your whole life back...

 

[sleeping pains]

@QuasiStoned
I get the whole pods ordeal thing - I've been on them for 6 months and am already feeling that I don't really get a buzz/high/nod unless I'm already in w/d a bit. lately I've been throwing around 3 ideas really. one part of me figures I should just stop because the drugs aren't doing what I want them too; I started b/c I loved the nod and blissful buzz - the escape - and now it doesn’t work that way at all. yes I feel the drug, but no it isn't really an escape for me. therefore I should just stop ASAP/now. however, another part of me is simply terrified of w/d. I only experienced several-day w/d once, and it was simply awful and almost derailed my whole life at the time - and currently my habit is probably twice as bad or more then it was then. so the third thought I have - and keep on having, again and again, every day - is that I should step things up. I've tried upping and upping and upping my pod doses, but pods just don't give me what I'm after. so I've been seriously considering moving on to other things. I've already started periodically taking oxys and vicodins, and I take soma every day. I can't seem to find a source for more/many pills, so my real thought right now is...well...heroin. I know if I really wanted to I could probably acquire quality heroin. which brings me back to my second "thought", or rather feeling - fear. I'm scared where heroin will take my life. atm I'm very successful in the eyes of others - in school, at work, at home, and in my romantic relationship. however, inside I'm a wreck. I doubt that the kind of success I have is even what I want. I know I don't want to destroy my life, but I honestly don't know what to do. I guess the next step is to just go out there and get a bag and blow it... and take it from there...

 

[Georgie25]

If you step it up to dope you'll eventually have the same problems as your pod use plus a whole slew of new problems as well...

 

[QuasiStoned]

@QuasiStoned
I get the whole pods ordeal thing - I've been on them for 6 months and am already feeling that I don't really get a buzz/high/nod unless I'm already in w/d a bit. lately I've been throwing around 3 ideas really. one part of me figures I should just stop because the drugs aren't doing what I want them too; I started b/c I loved the nod and blissful buzz - the escape - and now it doesn’t work that way at all. yes I feel the drug, but no it isn't really an escape for me. therefore I should just stop ASAP/now. however, another part of me is simply terrified of w/d. I only experienced several-day w/d once, and it was simply awful and almost derailed my whole life at the time - and currently my habit is probably twice as bad or more then it was then. so the third thought I have - and keep on having, again and again, every day - is that I should step things up. I've tried upping and upping and upping my pod doses, but pods just don't give me what I'm after. so I've been seriously considering moving on to other things. I've already started periodically taking oxys and vicodins, and I take soma every day. I can't seem to find a source for more/many pills, so my real thought right now is...well...heroin. I know if I really wanted to I could probably acquire quality heroin. which brings me back to my second "thought", or rather feeling - fear. I'm scared where heroin will take my life. atm I'm very successful in the eyes of others - in school, at work, at home, and in my romantic relationship. however, inside I'm a wreck. I doubt that the kind of success I have is even what I want. I know I don't want to destroy my life, but I honestly don't know what to do. I guess the next step is to just go out there and get a bag and blow it... and take it from there...

I wouldn't move on to heroin even if it were available to me. During some of my lowest points I probably would have if only because I just didn't care, but at this point I already know there will be hell to pay and I don't want to get myself even deeper. If I want to get high I'll pay the price and taper and/or withdrawal. I find that even after 4 days of steadily tapering that the euphoric effects return, it just takes will power.

If you really want to keep on using, I would just be happy with what you have and take a short break or taper to reduce your tolerance. If you seriously want to make changes and live a normal life, you can quit and there's never a better time than now. Whatever you do I would try not to advance your addiction any further by "taking the next step." Heroin might do the trick again for a while, but eventually you'll find yourself at the same point again, not getting high only with withdrawals so intense that you might not be able to endure them and/or quit.

I think you should probably take a break and see what that does for you. Maybe set out to go a week without getting high, just take the withdrawals a little at a time and use a small dose at night before bed to kill the withdrawals. I usually brew up a weak dose of tea and drink just a little bit and see if the withdrawals go away, if not drink a little more until you find out what it takes to feel normal. Then take that dose once a day, it should have you feeling okay for 8 - 12 hours, then probably you'll feel minor withdrawals until your next dose. It reduces the intensity of the suffering, though it lengthens the detox time. I definitely can't do a cold turkey these days, the insomnia and inner restlessness is pretty much unbearable.

I'm probably going to start tapering myself, I'm tired of avoiding the withdrawals and not getting high anymore so I'm gonna bite the bullet and try for an extended break.

 

[TriggerHappy]

hey guys-- i'm hoping to find an IV opiate expert that can answer this question. prior to last year, i mainly popped norcos... getting up to roughly 10 a day. well, i had some man trouble and got my heart broken, so my habit escalated. when my dealer had morphine, i tried shooting up. i suck at it! it's almost laughable.

well, i just finished a month long run of IV oxycontin. i managed to bruise and bloat both wrists and ankles. ibuprofen makes the pain bearable and the swelling go down a little, but everything is 'lumpy' due to.... missed shots? the pain doesn't seem to be getting worse, but i'm worried because i can't fully straighten my right arm.

i think i may have 'ballooned' veins... btw, what does it mean to balloon a vein? does that mean i'm shooting it in too quickly?

should i be worried about abscesses?

thanks for your answers.... oh wait-- after a month of shooting 160mgs oxy a day, should the WD be very bad?

thanks.

 

[Carl Landrover]

Keep it up! It's good you are trying to quit, what made you want to quit BTW?
What always helped me get through the withdrawals would be thinking about how much the drug use was negatively affecting my life, taking all my money, not being able to do anything without using heroin, not even getting high anymore just using to stay well and it's just not fun at all once you get to that point in your use...

Just keep thinking that if you keep it up and get thru the w/ds thats only a couples of days of physical pain you have to go thru and in return you can get your whole life back...

This is usually my method as far as thinking when I'm WDing.

The sick part, and part I can't get over, is that after I'm done feeling sick, where I FINALLY feel back to normal, I start thinking that I could use. It would be "just once" of course 8), but there's something about the returning 'normal' or close to it that always draws me back in.

Even if I'm feeling happy and good for the first time in a week after going through WDs, you know what I think? I realize that I feel good without drugs and then I start thinking, "Wow! If I feel this good just being normal, imagine how good I'd feel if I did some dope!"


I'm pretty much at that point now. I think I just need to get rid of my cell phone and ATM cards or something. Just make it impossible for me to score. It's kind of scary because I'm not really even sure what to do to quit at this point. I really need to drastically change a lot in my life if I'm ever actually going to get sober and stay that way.

If countless episodes of hacking/wheezing/coughing haven't detered me yet...I hesitate to think what will. I've coughed up mucus with blood a few too many times to not be generally worred about what I'm doing to my mind and body.

 

[Ashley26]

Keep it up! It's good you are trying to quit, what made you want to quit BTW?
What always helped me get through the withdrawals would be thinking about how much the drug use was negatively affecting my life, taking all my money, not being able to do anything without using heroin, not even getting high anymore just using to stay well and it's just not fun at all once you get to that point in your use...

Just keep thinking that if you keep it up and get thru the w/ds thats only a couples of days of physical pain you have to go thru and in return you can get your whole life back...

I have a drug test coming up for my dream job, I had to. and I was sick of being reliant on them for everything

I'm on hour 38 and its tough. living in baths. lots of dry heaving, body aches, and runny nose. horrible.

 

[xxkcxx]

That's awesome! Congrats!


I remember you posting with a gist of "you can't imagine your life without dope". Definitely welcoming to see positive progression.



Since my first time doing heroin, the longest time I had away from it was just shy of 18 months, except I was using suboxone for 14 of those 18 months. I hope to one day be back where you're at.

TY, Carl


It feels really good. I remember when I first starting coming around TDS and this just seemed unfathomable.

 

[Ashley26]

I couldn't do it, I took 15 mg of oxy. ugh.

 

[Miss Hollywood]

I relapsed big time last night with a friend of out of town. We bought two bundles....which I did most of because it was his first time. I actually woke up kinda dope sick, which is strange to me because it usually happens after a few days of a binge.

I have a few bags left. It seriously took me like 20 minutes just to write this because I'm nodding so hard! lol

Ahh...i feel a TAD guity about it but not realy. I haven't done dope since my birthday in September

Anyways......off to nod more.............hehehhehe

 

[Georgie25]

I couldn't do it, I took 15 mg of oxy. ugh.

What about your drug test?

I relapsed big time last night with a friend of out of town. We bought two bundles....which I did most of because it was his first time. I actually woke up kinda dope sick, which is strange to me because it usually happens after a few days of a binge.

I have a few bags left. It seriously took me like 20 minutes just to write this because I'm nodding so hard! lol

Ahh...i feel a TAD guity about it but not realy. I haven't done dope since my birthday in September

Anyways......off to nod more.............hehehhehe

Sorry to hear about your relapse. What's your plan after those bags run out? Did you IV? I was wondering how you were doing lately, hope you stop again

 

[Ashley26]

Because I took 15mg will my detox restart? I already felt shitty 2 hours after I took it.

I'm ready to keep going through.

 

[Ashley26]

Not sure when the drug test is. I'm assuming in the next week which is why I'm detoxing. So if I keep going through I'm hoping the 15mg doesn't set me back too much