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[jmsopi]

SorrY about my message not too good with writing!
Well I have taken suboxen before and I thought about that route also.

But at the moment with the lawysuit pending I don't want to hurt my case! I don't need anything messing that up for sure! So for now I'm trying to cope on only what the doc perscribed me.

Iv tried to just quit so many times. I even went a while two an half weeks off but relapsed when it was time for the refill! I sure u know that route!

I'm just trying to figure out how to manage in the mean time!!
The only thing I think I can do is give my mom my meds and lock it up and only give me what the bottle says to in a days time.

I just feel I'm Not ready ... Not ready to stop but when does that ever come??? Does it?
Or do u just push ur self??

My pain from injuries is so excrusiating plus the depression is major!
I stay stuck home and dwell and dwell and have no earthly idea what to do with myself. I have no money have no friends!

So.... If I can ever get to the point of being "Ready" to quit... Then what ???
How do u cope with pain??? It's so unbarable!!
When the flare ups hit it's almost like I become a totally diff person but I think the bipolor has alot to do with it! I talk out of my head , not knowing what I'm really saying, I get hostil and it starts with the pain....
I just go Nuts!!!! I just wAnna run out the house and run and run and run until I just flop over!

I dream about H so much! It has been mths since of touched the stuff
but I fien I guess just that opiate fien!!

Dunno.... Feel helpless, lost......

 

[OPsFORME]

SorrY about my message not too good with writing!
Well I have taken suboxen before and I thought about that route also.

But at the moment with the lawysuit pending I don't want to hurt my case! I don't need anything messing that up for sure! So for now I'm trying to cope on only what the doc perscribed me.

Iv tried to just quit so many times. I even went a while two an half weeks off but relapsed when it was time for the refill! I sure u know that route!

I'm just trying to figure out how to manage in the mean time!!
The only thing I think I can do is give my mom my meds and lock it up and only give me what the bottle says to in a days time.

I just feel I'm Not ready ... Not ready to stop but when does that ever come??? Does it?
Or do u just push ur self??

My pain from injuries is so excrusiating plus the depression is major!
I stay stuck home and dwell and dwell and have no earthly idea what to do with myself. I have no money have no friends!

So.... If I can ever get to the point of being "Ready" to quit... Then what ???
How do u cope with pain??? It's so unbarable!!
When the flare ups hit it's almost like I become a totally diff person but I think the bipolor has alot to do with it! I talk out of my head , not knowing what I'm really saying, I get hostil and it starts with the pain....
I just go Nuts!!!! I just wAnna run out the house and run and run and run until I just flop over!

I dream about H so much! It has been mths since of touched the stuff
but I fien I guess just that opiate fien!!

Dunno.... Feel helpless, lost......

I'm not trying to be nosy or talk shit, but how old are you cuz you seem to suffer from severe depression (from what & how you've been talking).

I suggest that you taper off. Giving your mom your meds would be a great idea, but if she does that you can't go buy some off the street or whatever... Like I said you have to be strong while tapering.

I'm about to watch daybreakers for my girls n my 3yr anniversary!! I'll get back to you when I'm out n help you with some more advice.

Stay strong,
~DJ Play~

 

[OPsFORME]

Jmsopi^^ Your depression is brought up from taking opiates and yes being in pain not able to live life healthy will also cause extreme depression. I remember when I got hit on my sport bike I had severe depression. I was bed ridden for 3 months. I got into my wreck my junior year in high school in the month of May, therefore I wouldn't graduate on time. I had to enroll in a self-paced school in order to graduate on time. I also lost my baseball scholarship to a big university... So you could imagine what kind of shit I was going through.

Like I said in my last post. Refil your script and have mom hold them to help you taper off. You'll still feel slight withdrawals, but at least it's not cold turkey withdrawals.

Besides doing that^^. Go outside, if you have a dog take he/she on a walk (if not jog), exercise, read funny books/magazines, comedy clubs or stand up dvd's, therapy...etc. That should all help with depression.

If you want to quit cold turkey just get immodium ad, clonodine, XANAX and vitamins. Check out the Thomas Recipe, it's an at home detox that really works great, that is if you really want to quit!

Stay strong!
~DJ Play~

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

Join the Club...

I'm just trying to figure out how to manage in the mean time!!
The only thing I think I can do is give my mom my meds and lock it up and only give me what the bottle says to in a days time.

I just feel I'm Not ready ... Not ready to stop but when does that ever come??? Does it?
Or do u just push ur self??

My pain from injuries is so excrusiating plus the depression is major!
I stay stuck home and dwell and dwell and have no earthly idea what to do with myself. I have no money have no friends!

So.... If I can ever get to the point of being "Ready" to quit... Then what ???
How do u cope with pain??? It's so unbarable!!
When the flare ups hit it's almost like I become a totally diff person but I think the bipolor has alot to do with it! I talk out of my head , not knowing what I'm really saying, I get hostil and it starts with the pain....
I just go Nuts!!!! I just wAnna run out the house and run and run and run until I just flop over!

I dream about H so much! It has been mths since of touched the stuff
but I fien I guess just that opiate fien!!

Dunno.... Feel helpless, lost......

Hey - don't beat yourself up too much. It sounds like you have enough pain without adding to the mix.

Here's a thought to hold on to. Lots of people have opiate problems - and then there's a sub-section that also suffer from serious [chronic] pain. I'm one of them. So it is most certainly enough to drive you nuts. Here's how I would encapsulate it. I have become addicted to the medication that I absolutely *need* in order to be able to survive life.

Quitting is simply not an option. I can't look at it the way many others do - as in - I am an addict - I want to not be an addict anymore. because for many - after the horror that is physical withdrawal is over - and once the months of adjustment to living without the chemical crutch are over - they can look at resuming - or creating - a 'normal' life of some sort. After a year or two, assuming the stay the distance - being an addict might really become a thing of the past - as in 'back when I was an addict' - yadda yadda yadda.

But what about you and me - and the millions like us - we who suffer from physical pain, and for which the only 'band aid' (cause there is no cure) is narcotic painkillers? First we have to go through the physical withdrawal (and it's extra hard cause now we have to face our physical pain head-on) - then we have to make the psychological adjustment, just like the rest of the troop, but when all this is over - we are not in a position to start fresh - begin a new life - and have our addiction be something that we can refer to in the past tense - as in 'back when I was an addict' - yadda yadda yadda.

because *fuck* we're in so much physical pain - and it is *not* going to go away - *EVER*!!!!

I just feel I'm Not ready ...

__ We're never ready __

Not ready to stop but when does that ever come??? Does it?

__Nope__


Or do u just push ur self??

__That's about it__

The thing is that there is a whole psychology to living with Chronic Pain that most people don't ever even *think* about!

And then there are the doctors who don't believe that we're really in pain - and we are made to feel more like criminals than patients.

And eventually we realize that we simply *cannot* live without the pain meds - because there is simply t o o m u c h P A I N!!!!!! And it is not *FAIR*. And we maybe decide that we'd rather be an addict than suffering so badly for so long. And then we can't find a doctor who will prescribe - and then they won't prescribe enough - and the *idiots* tell us that we might become addicted - and then we end up counting our pills and making the tough decisions as to *which* part of today will I choose to be almost pain free? And we divide up our doses of pain into halves and quarters - and do we give our pain-free time to our lover - or our children? And our doctor keeps telling us that we need to quit the meds before they become a problem - and no matter how much we smack them over the head with logic and reason - they simply cannot *ever* grasp the simple premise that it is *never* *EVER* going to get better - and the only dosage that the doctor is willing to increase is guilt - as compassion is reserved only for those who choose to suffer. And those who judge us - and who with-hold their compassion and sympathy, are those who are healthy and unbroken.

I don't have a solution for you - or for me - but I do really understand - and if you want to compare notes and enjoy the 'company' of someone who won't judge you - I might be the kind of person who can help you forgive yourself a little.

If you have a *lot* of time, and want to read a very, very, very long post that many people have found to be a great read, you can find out how I hurt myself and ended up where I am reading this...

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=445374

Feel free to pm me.

tmp

 

[MysticalGateways]

Detoxing and Healthcare?

I am a surgical technician student as of right now. With 4 herniated discs I have been taking pain pills for 3 years. I am trying to get surgery, but I have gotten way out of control because of tolerance and other things. So My question is if i go to a Suboxone clinic to get off of the percocets, tramadol, and other opiates will I be able to continue to get my education and become a nurse? Or will it permanently make it to where I can NOT work in healthcare??

I have searched everywhere about these topics and cant find anything. I knew this website would be the best and value all your opinions. If this needs to be moved or made into its own topics please do. i was NOT sure where to post... This site is so huge! Thanks Thanks.

-Sarah

 

[OPsFORME]

Sarah^^. No it's all confidential, it would be against the law to share your medical information without your permission.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I've been taking lortabs for 4 years now due to chronic back pain from a motorcycle accident. I used to get a lot 120 a month, i just moved about 6 months ago and the town I'm in only gives me 30 every 2 weeks. I need to find the right doctor my back kills me, the doc I go to is a joke. He just expects me to do PT n take 2/day when my dose was 4-6/day. My doctor before didn't want me doing therapy at all cuz he said it would make the pain worse n this guy here wants me to do it. Idk I think he's a joke n he really makes me mad.

Good luck n you have nothing to worry about.

Does anyone know how much a suboxine clinic is? Like for the first visit n to taper over 6 weeks or so? I have insurance as well. I'm planning on going soon. Oh n does it help with the pain? I would rather have my back kill me then go through w/d's from opiates, I really need to get clean n do the sub method.

I don't want methadone either. I know it's cheaper, but that'll make my whole deeper.

I have tried several different methods of home detox. I can not stand the pain, honestly the longest I've gone without anything would be 24hrs. I've tried to taper off my pills n have Xanax for sleep/everything else. I just need to find out how much subs will cost me. I do about a half g of H every day as well, so I really need help. If you get on subs do they label you as an addict? Or flag you?

It all started with getting lortabs 4 yrs ago n moved on up. I've only been doin H for about 5 months. I've done OC for about 1 1/2 yrs now.

Thanks for the help n best of luck to all!
~DJ Play~

 

[Supreme]

SWIM's buddy read junky and made him wanna try it being real good friends with him I made the stupid mistake of getting high,the 2nd time I tried it SWIM and his buddy went straight to the needle....real smart.Everybody's story I hear is the same at 1st just weekends then 2 times a weekthen 1 day you realize you have been usuing everyday for months and are getting w/d symptoms after telling your self you never wood.if my asshole wasnt reading junkie all this shit might not have happened but it probably would anyway.By 25 8 of my friends died cause of this shit,and now ive been on meth for years,and everyone knows how bad the kick is from that..

 

[swanlinnet]

One Month at a Time

Great post from Quasi-Stoned .

If a person somehow, as Quasi-Stoned suggests, sets up a 'rigid and infrequent schedule' of ingesting drugs then this, I am certain, will stave off full-blown addiction.

For my penny worth, drug ingestion can especially hold the potential for addiction once people begin to transact them with money as a medium. For example, there is a girl who, for years, has ingested/infused herself with an opiate but who does maintain a 'rigid and infrequent' schedule. This schedule that she maintains is contingent, among many other things, that she never transacts money for drugs.

Her second golden rule is if she finds herself with a superfluos supply of opiates given to her by the doctor .... which, indeed, she invariably does find each month .... then she flushes the left-overs' down the toilet; thus completely removing the temptation to spoil her rigid and workable method of avoiding full-blown addiction ...if only for one month at a time

Incidentally, this girl has, in years gone by, experienced the horror's of full-blown addiction to various other drugs including amphetamine and alcohol. She has experienced prisons' and all the **it that goes with addiction.

Once you have established a workable routine in any area of life that demands money be transacted it is this experience that sets us thinking about it more regulary which, in turn, dominates if not establishes the so-called obsession associated with addicition.

I do understand anybody who is at the cusp of withdrawal will hardly be interested in flushing any superfluos amount of opiates down a toilet. BUt once you begin thinking about selling the superfluity your're right back in the thick of it in no time at all. And there is a vast difference between looking forward to ingesting a drug to that of merely obeying the first impulse of withdrawal. Sure, withdrawal is wretched, I know, but it's well worth it, if only to reach this paradigm of avoiding addiction.

She no longer has problems with titration, namely, she is no longer tolerant to the huge doses of opiates that she once ingested which demand both time and money and which would sap the euphoria out of the opiate. She is no longer in an intimate hand-in-glove relationship with people who she would sooner cross the street from today[ Including so-called drug workers and other do-gooders], In a word, she is no longer involved in a necessary life of crime and continual deceiving ...although she is by no means a saint.

Sure life has it's ups and downs and perhaps none so wretched than withdrawal and a life in full-blown addiction and hazey, oppressive, 12 step meetings. Avoid withdrawal by avoiding addiction and avoid addiction by not using drugs at all unless you can work a rigid method honestly as mentioned above.

God bless,

Swanlinnet

 

[tharippa]

advice? needed

basically to sum it up, my supplier has fled to mexico and i only have around 6gs left. i am cutting off all my clientele as of now to save it.

first question is...what do i do from here, all the other dope around does not cure me from being sick and is too nasty to bang or chase. ive looked everywhere but to no avail. i would like to go thru with a methadone/suboxone treatment to detox. my problem is, i am only 17 and i have no guardian to sign. and i cant find methadone or suboxone anywhere either.

would taking OC 80s let me come down?

my habit is around 2 gs a day of pretty dank shit if i am banging it. but if my arms are shot out (i refuse to move to other locations for personal reasons), i smoke around 3-4gs. using for around 9 months with not 1 break.

another thing im considering is doin it cold turkey, i have done it once before but only on a .5g a day habit. it wasnt pretty but i could live through it again. im curious though to how much worse this will be.

so would you guys suggest the 80s? or what should i do? time is running out...well dope is running out

 

[kzorro]

Do you have health insurance? If so maybe inpatient detox would be an option, and then they could give you put you on a suboxone maintenance program from there. I just got out of detox with my Rx for subs when i was facing the EXACT same problem you are

 

[tharippa]

i have no nothing, i pay rent to my friend and thats it. my parentals have no location on my wearabouts and i would love to find a methadone place that could just detox me with no questions asked....which is impossible im guessing...i would pay them cash, as much as needed but that just doesnt seem like it is going to happen...but maybe you guys no a place..i am willing to go cross country.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

If you pay rent, move back in with your parents. Use the $ that would otherwise go to rent to getting yourself good health insurance. Then you can afford Suboxone treatment.

I don't know how much you pay for rent though, that plan might not be all that viable.

Do you live in a state where you can buy codeine OTC?

 

[tharippa]

im paying around 2000 a month on rent and around 700 on other bills. moving in is not an option. im kinda debating just goin cold turkey though, i know it will be bad but i think i can do it. just get shitloads of benzos and weed and get locked in a room by my friend...idk ive seen it work with other people with over 1g a day habits...but maybe thats not a good option. and im not sure, california is where i live. i can check

 

[Tommyboy]

OC 80s will help if you have nothing else to detox with. It is longer lasting than heroin, so is better to taper down with than H in that aspect. I don't know if you have experience taking oxycontin, but the strength of (1) 80mg oxycontin is roughly equal to two average stamp bags of east coast powder heroin. Each bag weight a little less than .1 so 80mg is about the same as .2 heroin. Strength varies, and good bags are usually more like 60mg oxy.
If you use the oxy to taper, don't break the time release, or its effeciency for detox will be greatly reduced. If you break it in pieces when tapering, do not crush or chew it.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

im paying around 2000 a month on rent and around 700 on other bills. moving in is not an option. im kinda debating just goin cold turkey though, i know it will be bad but i think i can do it. just get shitloads of benzos and weed and get locked in a room by my friend...idk ive seen it work with other people with over 1g a day habits...but maybe thats not a good option. and im not sure, california is where i live. i can check

Good luck if that's what you want to do.

It's nice to stock up on benzos.

 

[tharippa]

im just lookin for an estimate of how bad it will be? not death threatening in any way right?

 

[sixpartseven]

You could possibly get methadone if you can prove that you don't have a legal guardian and take care of yourself. Have you even looked into getting on methadone/suboxone, or are you doing the typical junky thing (don't feel bad, I've done it too) and just assume that you can't get on it without even trying?

 

[dankstersauce]

2 grams a day is a lot in my opinion. It's going to be a brutal withdrawal, you won't die, but you'll wish you were dead. If I were you I'd look into finding a methadone clinic and maybe sell enough dope to make sure you can afford it. That is if you don't have money stacked up. Methadone is better suited for a heavy habit than suboxone.

I don't know your situation but from my experience I've had dealers tell me they were going away to ________, only to come back in a week or two. But look into some methadone or suboxone to hold you over for now. And you definitely want to get moving on that while you still have enough dope to last a few days. In my experience methadone is hard to get on, suboxone is much easier. Especially where I live now (south east US) all the doctors here only take cash and don't require you to enter rehab or anything. They're basically like legal drug dealers. But you're definitely going to want suboxone or methadone. I kicked a .3 or .4 a day habit in jail and it was pretty fucking terrible.

 

[tharippa]

no i have been into methadone clinics but they all say i need consent from parents....i have legal guardians but i havent talked to them in months and id like it to stay that way so im just looking for the best option...but it seems the best option is to talk to them.. which i am realy trying to avoid

oh and my supplier is definetely not coming back for a very long time. i know this for a fact heh

 

[Korn3x]

$2000 on rent will solve your money problems. u need to be moving somewhere cheaper especially if your only 17.