Question about rave families, raving social etiquette, & raving sober?

[neffyiffy]

a.) when you go with a group of people TO the rave, is it considered rude if you leave them for most of the night to go meet up and hang out with another friend or another group of people?

b.) if you met your "rave mom" at your first rave and you asked her to name you, and then she called you up a few weeks later to see if you're going to the next rave and she says she hopes to see you there, does that mean she just wants to see you for a bit to say hi? or does that mean shes inviting you to spend most of the night with her @ the rave? (which i dont mind of course cause she's awesome)

c.) the first one i went to was AMAZING because i went with the mentality of having fun and not expecting to drop, so whether or not i was or wasnt going to, i was going to have fun regardless. and then my friend convinced me to drop, which heightened the already good experience by x20. but now i have fears of being a jaded raver from all the exposure ive already had at the first one and all the crap i hear people say about what they expect at raves... its really disappointing and im trying to ignore all that and go in with the mentality that i already had going into my first one. i dont see why people cant go raving sober alot. i love the scene and i really dont plan on playing games with my body when it comes to X cause i have alot in life that i dont want to give up if i become addicted or unknowingly take shit that is laced.

I find that I can pretty much only enjoy sober raving ONLY IF i enjoy the company i am with... =| dont you guys agree?

d.) do you ever keep in touch with people you meet at raves or people you meet while you were rolling?

 

[Bomboclat]

I might go ahead and make a Rave Culture Mega-Thread but for now ill leave this separate.

a.) I tend to go to raves with friends and we try to stick together but it usually turns out that we split up for a bit and kinda explore on our own (drugs usually are the reason for doing so.) Its a bit rude to just up a leave but if you're seeing an artist that others want to see but you kinda don't and you want to go explore on your own a bit, as long as you let everyone else know whats up and how to get in contact with you when you want to meet up later, I don't think it would be rude to split for a bit.

neat little anecdote: I went to a rave over summer (EDC in case you've heard of it) with a friend of mine that Ive known my entire life. We went together and stayed together for about 3 hours and then he went to go see some crappy trance artists when i went to go see some awsome electro artists. We kept in touch via text but we ended up meeting with a ton of different people throughout the night and made tons of friends separately. We met up a few times throughout the night and then met up for the last set of the night together where we walked out with a giant group of people to go to an after-party with. We both had an amazing time together and an amazing time apart and neither of us were annoyed by the fact that we parted ways for a bit as it made both of us happy and it caused no problems.

What can be rude though is if you you invite someone to come along with you and then you randomly ditch them for another group of friends. If both of you are fine with exploring on your own though it shouldnt be considered rude IMO.

b.) First of all i think that whole rave family, rave name crap is stupid. You can do as you please, I'm just voicing my opinion here. Now on to the question. I think it really depends on the person. Is the person the type that would want to hang with you all night, or is she the type of person that would just wanna say hey? If you really don't know just play it by ear. Show up and say hi and if she doesn't seem that interested to hang all night kinda drift apart.

c-1.) Raves should never be about the drugs, sadly the youth has corrupted the rave scene and has made it all about the drugs and being in with "the cool kids" who go . Raving sober is just as fun IMO as raving whilst on some sort of substance, but it's all about how you make the event fun yourself. Everything is what you make of it.

c-2.) If you're going to roll i highly suggest picking up a testing kit (you can even get one from bluelight!). You shouldnt be taking a drug if you have no idea of its contents. If you're going to roll be responsible about it. If you cant use responsibly you shouldnt use at all IMO.

d.) I try to keep in touch with those that I meet at raves. What usually happens with the people I meet is either we never talk again (usually because I'm too embarrassed to talk with them again because i poured my heart out to them the second we met ), or we only talk for a few days after and then we fade apart. In all my years of raving Ive only kept in touch with about 3 or 4 people (out of hundreds) that i still talk to and meet up with to this day.

 

[skeettls]

a-b) like Thizzer said, depends on your friends. Talk to them/try to get a sense of their intentions.

The family thing I don't like either.
The mainstream-ness of raves has turned everything into a gimmick.
I assume that in theory your "family" is the core group of friends you always go to raves with.. so how the f--- is anyone gonna come up with a family on their first rave.

At my first party some girl insisted that she'd be my mom, and me having no idea wtf that meant asked her to explain to me what it meant ..she had no idea either yet calls me "daughter" to this day 8) She wasn't even the one to give me my name or anything. Haven't even seen her since, actually.

d.) do you ever keep in touch with people you meet at raves or people you meet while you were rolling?

I tried to at first, but then realized that most don't even remember you the next morning. This is what made me "jaded" and not so much rolling itself.
Let's be honest, you'll pretty much talk to anyone while rolling and viceversa, so it doesn't really mean you actually have a connection/etc
I've kept in touch with a few people from my first massive (I'm pretty new to this too) ...but for the most part I don't bother unless it happens naturally like if we keep bumping into each other at different parties etc..

 

[Bomboclat]

Fun story: at a rave a while back I befriended a gal whilst sitting down as i was rolling way too hard to be standing up (lol). We talked for hours and hours and hours about everything possible and it turned out she worked about two miles from my house at a coffee shop I frequent. I remember her telling me her hours that she worked and everything so we could keep in contact. I no longer visit that coffee shop as I'm too embarrassed to ever see her again

 

[jam uh weezy]

Regarding D. I usually keep in touch with a few select people, to what extent varies. The people who I had the most significant moment with...In that aspect it's pretty much like any party, only with a fuckton more people.
I have to mention though, If you hookup with a girl while you are both rolling, it is absolutely essential you guys hang out again within a week if you want the relationship to go any further. Otherwise the whole magical-relationship part kind of fades and you just kind of become buddies or someone you see at a rave or text every now and then...


I haven't gone to a rave with anybody yet, tbh it sounds like kind of a pain inthe ass too me. If I did, I would probably want to go my own path after a while, but there would be an understanding that we're cool with that and would have a meetup time later.

I don't care about the whole rave family/name thing really.....ALso I still haven't gone to a rave and stayed sober the whole time yet. But I enjoy my sober time damn near just as much as when I roll.

I've only been too 3 raves now, btw.

 

[neffyiffy]

Fun story: at a rave a while back I befriended a gal whilst sitting down as i was rolling way too hard to be standing up (lol). We talked for hours and hours and hours about everything possible and it turned out she worked about two miles from my house at a coffee shop I frequent. I remember her telling me her hours that she worked and everything so we could keep in contact. I no longer visit that coffee shop as I'm too embarrassed to ever see her again

why are you embarrassed?

 

[Bomboclat]

I basically told the gal my life story in those two hours. I told her a bunch of deep stuff about me, and i feel that it'd be extremely awkward to see her again. Im embarrassed that i poured my heart and soul out to this woman that i had just met.

 

[jam uh weezy]

duuuude go meet up with her!

 

[Bomboclat]

heyyyyyal naw, wayyyy too embarrassed >.<

Maybe, just maybe, ill go into the coffee shop again during her hours and if she recognizes me we can start up a chat (she put her number in my phone but shit all if i can even remember her name). It would be totally awkward and weird. Awkward situations are one of my biggest fears. It's one of the main reasons I dont talk on the telephone

 

[ascker]

The whole rave family thing isnt worth paying attention to IMO. And you are over thinking everything, just go to the rave, have fun, and go with the flow. Who cares if you end up in an awkward situation for a little, nobody is going to think any less of you unless you are acting really creepy.

 

[skeettls]

@Thizzer don't be embarrased, us girls love it when you pour your heart out! :D
Plus she probably did it too, and even most likely, she prob doesn't remember every detail you said.

 

[Bomboclat]

oh gosh i hope she doesnt remember
IIRC though, she was sober >.<

 

[psycosynthesis]

Dude, srsly. Wtf. Go meet up with her, what use are the connections made in that state and the feelings shared if you said you'd meet up and haven't?

 

[ascker]

Yeah, I love how thizz lets me pour my heart out. If she wasnt into things like that, why would she have been at a rave?

 

[RavinRaphael]

Yeah, I love how thizz lets me pour my heart out. If she wasnt into things like that, why would she have been at a rave?

SOME of us go for the MUSIC, social life, and the party in general. Not everyone the parties is even into rolls or "thizz" See Ketamine. if you wanna roll your face off and spill ur heart i dont think a Rave is the best location. perhaps an intimate setting at home with just the girl or an after party with a buncha friends. but this is just my opinion.

 

[ascker]

But still like half the people there are usually rolling, so its still part of the culture.

 

[jam uh weezy]

oh gosh i hope she doesnt remember
IIRC though, she was sober >.<

even better man. if she stuck around to listen to you and she was sober something is definitely there.


i just met up with this guy I met at a rave. found out he works like 5 mins away from where i live. he's an amazing dancer, like any style you can think of. he's teaching me stuff and i smoke him out.

i've been trying to hang out with this girl i met but we both don't have a car and it's difficult.

i love almost everything about EDM and raves. I really feel like it is the 'hippie' movement of our generation. i can't wait to go to a goa party.

 

[Wrongun]

a.) when you go with a group of people TO the rave, is it considered rude if you leave them for most of the night to go meet up and hang out with another friend or another group of people?

I've been raving for years now both club nights and illegal freeparties (more frequently). Me and my friends always get split up from each other and it doesn't bother anyone cos we all have mate we have made a parties before and see them everytime, unless the rave is across the other side of England and even then theres still soem of the same faces. If your friends would consider it rude then don't do it, especially if you just blaged a lift with them and then ditch em for other people. Introduce them to your other friends or go with the other friends in the first place. Anyways it shouldn't mater if you go your seperate ways for a while.

b.) if you met your "rave mom" at your first rave and you asked her to name you, and then she called you up a few weeks later to see if you're going to the next rave and she says she hopes to see you there, does that mean she just wants to see you for a bit to say hi? or does that mean shes inviting you to spend most of the night with her @ the rave? (which i dont mind of course cause she's awesome)

This sounds pretty sad to be honest. Never heard of that shit in England. If you met some bird at a rave and she rings you to meet her do that and then see hows keen she is to spend more time with you but dont just be a tag along or she will get pissed off and not wana meet up with you again.

c.) the first one i went to was AMAZING because i went with the mentality of having fun and not expecting to drop, so whether or not i was or wasnt going to, i was going to have fun regardless. and then my friend convinced me to drop, which heightened the already good experience by x20. but now i have fears of being a jaded raver from all the exposure ive already had at the first one and all the crap i hear people say about what they expect at raves... its really disappointing and im trying to ignore all that and go in with the mentality that i already had going into my first one. i dont see why people cant go raving sober alot. i love the scene and i really dont plan on playing games with my body when it comes to X cause i have alot in life that i dont want to give up if i become addicted or unknowingly take shit that is laced.

I find that I can pretty much only enjoy sober raving ONLY IF i enjoy the company i am with... =| dont you guys agree?

Glad to hear you had a good time at your 1st rave and its good to have that mind set if you can. Its not best to hammer 'X' evry weekend for obvious reasons but it is ok to do it every now and again i.e only at raves as it makes your night 20x better. There is no proper good pills in England anymore due to the lack of people producing MDMA because of the 2 chemicals used to make it that were made illegal. Personally i dont go to club nights sober as im mashed most of the time anyway thats my preferance, but have been sober at freeparties either in the morning or on the second or third day when you've run out of drugs n money. Once you got over the fact your not guna get mashed you can go and have a good old stomp anyway cos you love the tunes. It is better with your mates or when you know people.

d.) do you ever keep in touch with people you meet at raves or people you meet while you were rolling?

Yes as they turn out to be mates of mates or people you see most weekends or parties over years. Facebook is useful for this. You should join groups of all the soundsystems in your area to find out when good nights are going on.

Raving is great and you will learn what you think of it after you been for a while. You've got many more good nights to come enjoy them!

Thizzer you should definetely meet up with that bird im sure she won't remember most of or mind if you poured your heart out and probaby thought it was sweet. Meet her in work time or after work for a coffee see what she's saying and then try and get her to come on a night out and get battered again thats what i would do. You don't hit it off with her and just become mates then thats a score as well. If nothing at all becomes of it then fuck it it doesn't matter. Good luck mate!

 

[Tranced]

a.) when you go with a group of people TO the rave, is it considered rude if you leave them for most of the night to go meet up and hang out with another friend or another group of people?

b.) if you met your "rave mom" at your first rave and you asked her to name you, and then she called you up a few weeks later to see if you're going to the next rave and she says she hopes to see you there, does that mean she just wants to see you for a bit to say hi? or does that mean shes inviting you to spend most of the night with her @ the rave? (which i dont mind of course cause she's awesome)

c.) the first one i went to was AMAZING because i went with the mentality of having fun and not expecting to drop, so whether or not i was or wasnt going to, i was going to have fun regardless. and then my friend convinced me to drop, which heightened the already good experience by x20. but now i have fears of being a jaded raver from all the exposure ive already had at the first one and all the crap i hear people say about what they expect at raves... its really disappointing and im trying to ignore all that and go in with the mentality that i already had going into my first one. i dont see why people cant go raving sober alot. i love the scene and i really dont plan on playing games with my body when it comes to X cause i have alot in life that i dont want to give up if i become addicted or unknowingly take shit that is laced.

I find that I can pretty much only enjoy sober raving ONLY IF i enjoy the company i am with... =| dont you guys agree?

d.) do you ever keep in touch with people you meet at raves or people you meet while you were rolling?

a) Would you do this outside of a rave? When I'm out I tend to mingle between all different people that I know. But I wouldn't explicitly leave one group I'd been out with, or not intentionally or repeatedly anyway. People notice. Maybe introduce the two?

b) I don't have a "rave mom", nor have I heard of one. If she considers herself a "rave mom" there is a good chance she quite simply enjoys the attention. Maybe she wants a shag. I'm not sure.

c) There is no need to become jaded, everyone is different, simply stay true to yourself. I've had similar thoughts, hence I'm not at all jaded.

d) Yes, some of them are amongst my best friends. With some of them I know the friendships have a shelf-life, but some will remain good friends indefinitely.

e) WTF is a "rave mom"?

 

[Bomboclat]

Dude, srsly. Wtf. Go meet up with her, what use are the connections made in that state and the feelings shared if you said you'd meet up and haven't?

True, but I still feel like I made a bafoon out of myself.

Yeah, I love how thizz lets me pour my heart out. If she wasnt into things like that, why would she have been at a rave?

For the music, same reason im there. (The drugs and meeting new people is just a bonus)

even better man. if she stuck around to listen to you and she was sober something is definitely there.

lol, well...I was alone so I have this feeling like maybe she stayed around cause she didnt want to leave me by myself.....

idk... I think ill meet up with her sometime soon. Or rather, Ill walk into the coffee shop during her shift and if she remembers me we'll chat.

My biggest fear is awkward ness, and I know it'd be awkward to just randomly call her up out of the blue like "oh hey, remember me?!"

Thizzer you should definetely meet up with that bird im sure she won't remember most of or mind if you poured your heart out and probaby thought it was sweet. Meet her in work time or after work for a coffee see what she's saying and then try and get her to come on a night out and get battered again thats what i would do. You don't hit it off with her and just become mates then thats a score as well. If nothing at all becomes of it then fuck it it doesn't matter. Good luck mate!

lol, well I wasnt planning on hooking up with her in the first place.


Thanks for the wishes everyone, Ill let all y'all know how this goes if we meet up!