My family drives me nuts

Every time I come home I just feel so secluded and saddened. I'm always amazed at how my family seems so progressive and understanding, but in reality are just really judgmental and set in there ways. I can't really relate to anyone in my family. I mean, if they knew what my life style is and my beliefs on life, I would just be one of those low life people they despise.
It kills me every time when someone in my family makes some smart ass or degrading comment regarding drugs. Seems to happen every time I'm home.
I really dislike living in this world. I hate they way human beings have evolved our selves with technology, letting lose a run away train that is filled with ignorance and despair with out any prospect of change. We continue to complicate and unleash more and more problems that are really just exacerbated forms of past problems. We try and view our intelligence as something that is superior to all other forms of life and yet we have more issues and problems with our lives and our species as a whole, than any other organism. Humans aren't inherently bad, but from the being of our lives we are programmed through ignorance to be whatever the leaders of the world (who have also been programmed through the same process, aka run away train) want them to be. Our whole infrastructure is a problem for not only our survival but the survival of those who occupy this beautiful world with us. Look at the animals around us. See how harmonious they live (of course we cause problems which result in them straying from this path)?
Being "intelligent" doesn't necessarily mean we have are immune to the ways of life of an animal. Being intelligent doesn't mean we are more free than the species of animals around us. In my opinion it is the opposite. The more variables involved with life means more room for error and for freedoms to be taken away. I feel we have become more and more enslaved by our minds, creating more and more mental and physical problems which inhibit and complicate our lives. Being able to live longer doesn't mean we have less problems and are more free. Quite the contrary.
I don't want any of this. I don't want to be a modern human, I don't want this type of life. Sadly though I've become trapped. Trapped by our emotions we created due to our lose of the need to survive since survival is almost guaranteed. Half of these emotions we exhibit are irrational (they are caused by made up concepts, such as the idea of money). I'm also trapped by these made up concepts. I'm currently 30,000 in debt thanks to college. One might say, "well if you don't like this type of life, why don't you leave?" Well, if I leave, I leave that money for my parents to pay. I'm now stuck in the system because of this made up thing called money. I feel so claustrophobic.
I'm thinking of ways to off myself in case I get arrested (no way in hell am I going to go to jail, even more of my freedoms are lost because of irrational ideas and made up concepts).
I don't want to die, you know due to the whole idea of life is to live (but that is all). However, I certainly have no qualms with death. I'm not afraid of it anymore. Honestly I embrace the idea of death. It is the only true form of freedom.
hmm...