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☮ Social ☮ The PD Cosmic Space-Train: SOCIAL UMPH in Full Spectrum

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Tryptophan helped immensly. I stopped taking AMT on Saturday, had an acid trip on sunday, got sick and stopped taking GABAergics yesterday, coupled with a rough period I think that just blew me over.

Going to have some chamomile tea soon.
 
Man Delsyd I feel u on having a ton of posts u want to respond to and not wanting to go through and quote/copy them all...I was just watching King of the Hill and Peggy said shes going to get her "moxy" back, so in light of this obvious sign, im gonna say go ahead with the 5-meo-mipt :)

Pepper, feelin all body achey and generally crappy sucks, hope you feel better so you can enjoy this winter (which i cant understand why you enjoy so much ;))...

I finished school as well now, feels good eh Adrian :) Just in time to not have to dredge (is that even a word-more importantly-does it matter:)) through the sludge and dirt.

Congrats on gettin the d-amp Roger, I hear it works wonders for schoolwork, never tried it myself but it sounds pretty perfect for it :)

Loblaw, broccoli cheddar or Avgolemono (Greek soup)...when homemade the avgolemono is hands down my favorite. I could eat it erryday %)

To everyone else: hey big guy ;)
 
^Helo Pal, how goes it?

and yeah dredge is a word, its when you dip a piece of food into flour(dredge) then dip it into a batter of somesort before fryin' that bitch.

To charlie: I am also leaning towards culinary school, Im pretty excited about it actually. Ive always been fascinated with food and cooking it. :)

I get paid tomorow! :D

edit: 500th post holy macaroni!
 
It goes okay...Got into a HUGE fight with my mom, pretty much telling her for the first time how much she pisses me off and how I don't agree with any of her views and that her constant imposition of her opinions and close-minded ignorant thinking is not what i want in my life at all. Just really :\ ... And i been fighting with the gf lately, having some serious "talks" that no one ever wants to have. Hopefully everything will work out soon

How are you doin?

edit: Just ate a fair amount of alprazolam and clonazepam...should be passin out soon probably...got a nice buzz building up right now...benzosss <3 smoked a nice bowl, think i should eat some apple jacks :)

fuckin out of apple jacks, went with the frosted flakes. my favorite part of benzos and weed is it just doesnt get more relaxing and comfortable than this. pulled out the warming blanket, feel all nice n cozy <3:)
 
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Well I'm not supposed to [nap], and as soon as someone comes around I lift my head up and try to look awake. That is what kind of happened but that half hour was nice.

Ha, I used to nap at work a lot. My office was in the corner of the floor. Now I rarely need to nap because I work from home and am a lot less tired, but if I do need to, I can use my bed. :)

ugh, student loan runaround. i hope i don't regret having to take this option.

orientation on friday. hoping to talk to some sort of advisor about my financial situation to see if i can get myself to qualify for at least some grant money as i've been without a job since nov08.

overall i'm excited about getting back to school. even if i must accrue massive debt by doing so.

Man, I can hardly even stand thinking about that. I was lucky enough to have my parents pay for college, but my wife had no such luck and went through her Master's and performing artists' certificate (3 years of grad school total) and has accrued over $70k in student loans. It makes me feel sick to think about. :\

"Prague - The Czech government today approved the list of hallucinogenic plants and mushrooms, including hemp, coca, mescaline cactus and magic mushrooms, and decided that people would be allowed to grow up to five pieces of such plants and keep 40 magic mushrooms at home, a CTK source said."

http://www.ceskenoviny.cz/news/zpravy/czech-govt-defines-rules-of-hallucinogenic-plants-growing/411010

Who's moving to Prague with me?!?! =D

I find this doubly fascinating considering that Prague has a deep history of alchemical and magickal activity...

Ha! My best friend is about to move to Prague next year to teach English. Awesome! My work only allows me 2 weeks of vacation per year, so I doubt I'll get to visit though. :(

That's one thing I do miss about school. The giant 3-4 week break over christmas/new years. Now I might get a week if I'm lucky.

Yeah, tell me about it. I totally miss school. Being in the "real" world gives you a lot less vacation. Though working from home is a bit like always being on vacation. :D

Moving can certainly cause anxiety. I can relate to that 100%.
As you probably know im moving to a different state in a couple months and it took me a while to adjust to the thought. And even now that ive accepted it, told my parents, friends and other loved ones, there is still a bit of anxiety about moving somewhere where i know no one and nothing and have no job waiting for me.
At the same time that unknown is somewhat exciting to me. And i have hope the move will result in positive change in my life. Hopefully the same happens to you.

And illness, shitty weather, and that feeling of wanting to take drugs but having to stop yourself can and often does lead to some depressive states.

Like i said before. Much love and a speedy recovery to you...<3

Hey man, you'll know me. :) And yeah, moving is totally crazy, a HUGE adventure. I've moved to brand new places 3 times now, and it is always worth it and ends up being amazing if you give it a chance. Moving lets you break your cycles and create new ones, and really helps you to grow as a person.

Plus the town you're moving to is the Happiest Place on Earth. :) (Literally it's motto). <3

Potatoes are fail.

chilli is fail

You guys are out of your minds. 8o

... And i been fighting with the gf lately, having some serious "talks" that no one ever wants to have. Hopefully everything will work out soon

Big fights are a part of relationships, sometimes... it's a part of growing up together. Hopefully you can grow together, if you want to. :)
 
Hey man, you'll know me. :) And yeah, moving is totally crazy, a HUGE adventure. I've moved to brand new places 3 times now, and it is always worth it and ends up being amazing if you give it a chance. Moving lets you break your cycles and create new ones, and really helps you to grow as a person.

Very true. I do look forward to meeting one of my favorite BLers (you<3=D)
And i suppose there are a couple others i know that live there aswell.

Still though there is a bit of anxiety about the unknown. But the anxiety has gotten alot less then it was before and my excitement for the move is growing.

Im greatly looking forward to moving and "breaking the cycles" im in right now.
And i do feel that the move will result in a positive change (moving to happiest place on earth doesnt hurt=D).

Its just the unknown that gets me a little nervous. But despite being nervous i am very excited.=D


Big fights are a part of relationships, sometimes... it's a part of growing up together. Hopefully you can grow together, if you want to. :)
Yep, anyone thats been in a relationship for a long time goes through them. Unless the love is no longer there, and breaking up is the only option, id recomend you try working through the problem. IME it has led to L*L and i becoming even closer and learning more about each other and ourselves.

chilli is fail
:p

Just ate a fair amount of alprazolam and clonazepam...should be passin out soon probably...got a nice buzz building up right now...benzosss <3 smoked a nice bowl, think i should eat some apple jacks :)

I had ~20mg of diaz last night, a couple shots of cognac and a bong of some headies.
Felt quite nice indeed. Almost opiate like (probably because i was so tired i kept nodding in and out of consciousness)
Slept like a baby though and woke up feeling great:)

Hope you all had a nice night and wonderful day.

Ill be back on in a few hours to chat some more.<3
 
Big fights are a part of relationships, sometimes... it's a part of growing up together.

Thanks for reminding me. ;)

That's such a comforting notion. Going through tough times whether it be fights or other personal issues are about growing together. It's not about endlessly trying to recapture an old state of being but being accepting of how things are and growing up together. I often think I'm the only one in the relationship who has problems and is growing through them but I realize she is too. :)
 
argh! I have a physics final today! To much material to study. Probably just going to drop 3 or 4 solid hours running through 2 problems of the hardest chapters and one from the easier ones.

I've been enjoying the world of low dose DMT. Doing 15-20mg every 10 minutes for 2 or 3 times just puts myself in a nice ++ for almost an hour. I'd love to investigate low dose oral DMT.

I've also started to get a better feel for the gigantic lift off that it gives you. I'm going to trying 30mg tonight and keep going from there.
 
argh! I have a physics final today! To much material to study. Probably just going to drop 3 or 4 solid hours running through 2 problems of the hardest chapters and one from the easier ones. .

Don't stress, just try to stay nimble-minded and approach the problems both creatively and logically-- make sure both hemispheres of your brain are communicating well with each other (piracetam helps with this, if you have any). Good luck, bro! :)
 
1. The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
 
Good Ol' Robert Frost...takes me back to my high school english class...great stuff :)

Good luck on ur exam Cloudy!

And thanks guys, I know fights are part of long relationships (5.5 years now) but its starting to feel like its getting to the point of no reconciliation :( I/we are going to try like to hell to figure out why were feeling this way and we've acknowledged '09 was a very tough year personally for both of us and we're hoping for the best in the future. Hopefully now that were on break we'll get rid of some unneeded stress and be able to focus on each other and making each other happy.
 
Transcendent Poetry time

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Each and All
NSFW:


Little thinks, in the field, yon red-cloaked clown,
Of thee, from the hill-top looking down;
And the heifer, that lows in the upland farm,
Far-heard, lows not thine ear to charm;
The sexton tolling the bell at noon,
Dreams not that great Napoleon
Stops his horse, and lists with delight,
Whilst his files sweep round yon Alpine height;
Nor knowest thou what argument
Thy life to thy neighbor's creed has lent:
All are needed by each one,
Nothing is fair or good alone.

I thought the sparrow's note from heaven,
Singing at dawn on the alder bough;
I brought him home in his nest at even;—
He sings the song, but it pleases not now;
For I did not bring home the river and sky;
He sang to my ear; they sang to my eye.

The delicate shells lay on the shore;
The bubbles of the latest wave
Fresh pearls to their enamel gave;
And the bellowing of the savage sea
Greeted their safe escape to me;
I wiped away the weeds and foam,
And fetched my sea-born treasures home;
But the poor, unsightly, noisome things
Had left their beauty on the shore
With the sun, and the sand, and the wild uproar.

The lover watched his graceful maid
As 'mid the virgin train she strayed,
Nor knew her beauty's best attire
Was woven still by the snow-white quire;
At last she came to his hermitage,
Like the bird from the woodlands to the cage,—
The gay enchantment was undone,
A gentle wife, but fairy none.

Then I said, "I covet Truth;
Beauty is unripe childhood's cheat,—
I leave it behind with the games of youth."
As I spoke, beneath my feet
The ground-pine curled its pretty wreath,
Running over the club-moss burrs;
I inhaled the violet's breath;
Around me stood the oaks and firs;
Pine cones and acorns lay on the ground;
Above me soared the eternal sky,
Full of light and deity;
Again I saw, again I heard,
The rolling river, the morning bird;—
Beauty through my senses stole,
I yielded myself to the perfect whole.


I think i ate a little too much clonazepam to do my paper :\ I think im gonna need to stray from bluelight (as much as Id hate to) so I can try to focus...I'm sure I wont be able to stay away though, its like a fatal attraction to you guys ;)
 
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