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Psychedelics and Social Alienation

i thought it very fitting with all the talk about nauseating social ego games etc. i mean , the man refused the nobel prize for literature awarded for it because he considered that just another (nauseating) bourgeois institution.
 
Propyl Power said:
Congratulations, you are alienated from an egocentric, infantile, delusional society with a deathwish for both itself and the planet on which it spreads like a cancer. Why is this a problem for you again?

No, you're not the same person you were before. That's what makes psychedelics useful, they are catalysts for personal growth and evolution.

You're feeling some shock because the veil has been (partially) removed from your eyes, and likely want things to go back to being safe, comfortable, and orderly like they used to be. Well they aren't. The world is infinitely complex, subtle, bizarre, and groundless. And that's wonderful, because now you can get down to the business of actually living your life instead of suppressing your soul for an industrialized police state for which you are nothing more than grist for the mill.

Maybe you need to find some better goals, that are more fulfilling and true to yourself.

Also if you can find some other psychedelically illuminated people, maybe you won't feel so alienated :)
Click to expand...

very, very well put!
 
hi, first post and all so im not sure if this is the right thread but ive been going through a hell of a fuckin journey this past year and i think im just starting to emerge.

last summer i had my first psychedelic experience on mushrooms. i was instantly in love with the experience. i just wanted more and more. about a month and a half later i tried them again, then about 2 weeks after that.
my third was pretty bad to say the least and i started getting wild paranoia every time i smoked weed. common sense says stop there but i didnt, i was sure i could conquer it, i carried on smoking, id keep getting paranoia but it didnt matter, then i had my first mescaline experience and 2 more mushie trips, after the last one for the year i completely closed up, stopped smoking (thank god), stopped talking to friends, stopped going out but the paranoia never left. i was still getting delusional fantasies about everyones out to get me, people are watching me etc.
then at xmas i had a couple more mesc. trips and after my last one i stopped everything, and instantly became totally new, no more paranoia, started talking to my friends again, got out of the house but after about a month i got very depressed and didnt want to talk and just shut myself up in the house again. about 2 weeks after this i had had enough, bought some weed and some 2c-e. had about 2 months of tripping every 3-4 days, smoking weed all day every day, which culminated in a very bad trip and since i havnt smoked weed and only tripped once after which i threw all my drugs away due to disappointment in myself!
ive been going to see a psychotherapist and meditating and collecting knowledge so to speak, since march. i recently burnt the bridges to all my previous friends because their lives just seemed so attatched to the external, just smoking weed, doing fuck all, and not seeing my way of thinking (i know what your gonna say - i was dumb and arrogant!).
im still having semi-paranoid delusions however more obvious that they are delusions not reality. ive been starting to think i may be bipolar or some other mental illness and its really scaring the shit out of me. im not going back to smoking again but im contemplating one last dance with mescaline just to see where im going and also because i miss the trip.

well thats my story but my question is what happens when it turns out that the journey turns into a nightmare that never seems to culminate in anything. its getting better but there seems to be no structure, im seeing humanity in a different way alright but its either terrifying or overly loving (like so caring that its scaring me)

ive been looking for answers in everything but i have found none and i honestly believe there is no answer. is this situation normal? does anyone have insight as to what path i should find?

p.s. sorry for the essay!
 
integration is the key. im afraid another trip won't really help you out of this situation. considering your alienated situation; your paranoia is very likely an expression of basal existential fear. it manifests in this way because you thoroughly seem to have blown up your previous structures in which this fear was previously managed. the psychedelic mindspace can only show you possible paths, walking it requires not flying (eg sober work). spacing out your trips is essential. don't use them as escape routes; because they are not and never will be succesful at that. You cannot expect the trip itself to give you a new path, it will only show you possibilities. this nihilistic state you seem to be in is an intermediate state. meditate on what you think is important and how you see your life, fill in a new goal for yourself and start working towards it.

up until before you began tripping your life has been determined by values that were handed to you, and you lived them without question. now you are in a time where you (re-)choose your values. the intermediate state is one wherein you lose all 'handles' you hold on to. much like a psychedelic trip itself, only expressed as, and spun out in a general state of mind. it is this you have to address now. a life lived only for yourself is a meaningless life, this is the existential fear i mentioned ealier. or more precisely; it is the tension between self-centeredness (not pejorative) and other-centeredness. either extreme on this dimensional contiuüm bring certain type-manifestations of fear. other-centeredness holds these off as external, while self-centeredness internalizes them. both are distorted expressions of basal fear, which is a fear without object (angst), which is actualized death itself. On the way to freedom one dismantles the given other-centeredness which is general society and culture; only to fall into a groundless self-centeredness. (within a trip referred to as: the void) this 'by itself for itself' however is meaningless, it has no foundations nor any ground to build something on, it can only entertain its own possibility. (it is an ironic note that our culture collectively worships the autonomous subject; which is kind of a collective neurosis). A return to otherness is required for its self-realisation. thus the subject re-shifts its center towards the Other; though this time, aware of, in and with its own freedom.
 
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i kno exactly how u feel man ppl are so easy to read and their motovations for everyday actions are really shallow if that made sence. doing phycaldelics opens ur mind into a new sence of reallity i think. were u understand little things more and ppls thought patterns but u shuldnt feel like that man. chill w/ some ppl who do phycadelics. if ur freinds wanna do a manup thing let em do it. concentrate on some hard shit and put ur life to work. mabey ull feel better
 
i'd say psychedelics made me kinda lazy, at least in society's eyes. i hate working, i just get ssdi checks and walk around and read and listen to music all day.
 
Ralf_4 said:
hi, first post and all so im not sure if this is the right thread but ive been going through a hell of a fuckin journey this past year and i think im just starting to emerge.

last summer i had my first psychedelic experience on mushrooms. i was instantly in love with the experience. i just wanted more and more. about a month and a half later i tried them again, then about 2 weeks after that.
my third was pretty bad to say the least and i started getting wild paranoia every time i smoked weed. common sense says stop there but i didnt, i was sure i could conquer it, i carried on smoking, id keep getting paranoia but it didnt matter, then i had my first mescaline experience and 2 more mushie trips, after the last one for the year i completely closed up, stopped smoking (thank god), stopped talking to friends, stopped going out but the paranoia never left. i was still getting delusional fantasies about everyones out to get me, people are watching me etc.
then at xmas i had a couple more mesc. trips and after my last one i stopped everything, and instantly became totally new, no more paranoia, started talking to my friends again, got out of the house but after about a month i got very depressed and didnt want to talk and just shut myself up in the house again. about 2 weeks after this i had had enough, bought some weed and some 2c-e. had about 2 months of tripping every 3-4 days, smoking weed all day every day, which culminated in a very bad trip and since i havnt smoked weed and only tripped once after which i threw all my drugs away due to disappointment in myself!
ive been going to see a psychotherapist and meditating and collecting knowledge so to speak, since march. i recently burnt the bridges to all my previous friends because their lives just seemed so attatched to the external, just smoking weed, doing fuck all, and not seeing my way of thinking (i know what your gonna say - i was dumb and arrogant!).
im still having semi-paranoid delusions however more obvious that they are delusions not reality. ive been starting to think i may be bipolar or some other mental illness and its really scaring the shit out of me. im not going back to smoking again but im contemplating one last dance with mescaline just to see where im going and also because i miss the trip.

well thats my story but my question is what happens when it turns out that the journey turns into a nightmare that never seems to culminate in anything. its getting better but there seems to be no structure, im seeing humanity in a different way alright but its either terrifying or overly loving (like so caring that its scaring me)

ive been looking for answers in everything but i have found none and i honestly believe there is no answer. is this situation normal? does anyone have insight as to what path i should find?

p.s. sorry for the essay!
Click to expand...

idk man i feel like ppl are out to get me too and like all the time mostly if im doing somthing illegal tho try to see a shrink man that helped me. i think i might be a schitsofrieniac (terrible speller) but theres nothin u can really do. when i feel down i try to find somthin with meaning in it and devote myself to it but idk good luck man. (and as for the mescaline....go for it lol)
 
This thread is excellent. Lots of great insight and advice.

I would like to add (even though it has been said) that just because you feel "different" from others around you, doesn't mean you need to be alienated from them. You can find ways to relate. We're all human, and we have commonalities, even if they are not obvious to you with your new enlightenment. This is crucial, because if you can't relate to people, you're not much use in this world. (And that's fine, and I have nothing against hermits, as I used to be one, but most people don't want to be that way...)

Look for the good in people around you, and don't be so hard on others who don't have the same insight that you do. Not everyone can be saved, but some can - and that'll only happen if they're given a chance. You're concerned with others playing their little games? Me too, but we don't have control over others, only over ourselves. So start with yourself, and be good to people around you. Satisfaction in life will follow.
 
f1ct said:
keep your mind open, and remember that an open mind listens to everyone. everyone.
Click to expand...


Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear tonight.

I too have been going through my psychedelic mid-life crisis. I actually just logged in to start a thread about it when I started reading this one. It is good to know I am not alone in my journey and others have been down the same path as me. I can only hope I learn to re-integrate myself into society in a way that satisfies my personal values.

I am pretty satisfied with my personal life right now, the biggest issue I am dealing with is my job. I have a professional white collar career and I make good money. I like the people I work with, but the work is killing me. Everyday I wish I had hit this point in my journey while I was still in college, so I could have changed paths. Right now I feel locked into where I am. I have student loans, a car loan, a mortgage, and a wife to support. I feel that I can't just abandon my obligations and walk down another path. My internal turmoil and stress has been wreaking havoc the last couple of weeks.

Does any one have any advice from this point of view? Who has been here before?
 
Solipsis said:
In the period that I did acid really (too) often I was kind of non-stop thinking about the plodding world and the lack of consciousness and the abundance of fear and ego-games especially in the cities. It made me sad and feeling like I couldn't participate with it all and it seemed that I was the only one awake, together with only some other people who could really relate to that were willing to delve as deep into stuff as I would.


dude thats what i was thinkin but u put it in smart words
Click to expand...
 
I'm going to just say that I agree with the comparison to the "blue or red pill" in The Matrix, that scene really clicked in my head the first time a watched it. (haha just a few months ago)

My life is more complex and heavy on the head now, but I don't think I'd go back. Because along with that, I have a sense of purpose in my life now that is a precious gift in this modern world. And I have seen that the people important in my life seem to be influenced by my new mindset in a very positive way. A sense of family and love that I just don't see with others in my age group.

If I could, I'd like everyone to take the red pill :)
 
Personal experiences with psychedelics have been very interesting for me. My first mushroom trip was tormenting and focused on the existential question of solitude; even in the presence of friends and family, no one can truly help you. Two months afterwords I was left with heightened anxiety, paranoia, and feeling I may be schizophrenic. Yet in retrospect, I never really looked at my personal mushroom experience as just an experience, one I can choose to grow from or fervently find ways to escape from reality. I was afraid of any form of mind altering drugs after this point, yet somehow I looked for comfort through the usage of pharmaceutical drugs relating to social anxiety, depression, and lethargy. Ironically, these "new" drugs I believe served no beneficial purpose oncesoever and reinforced my idea that I was imperfect and isolated from life.

Months later, after using mdma occasionally and finding a new compassion for others and life, I reembarked on my psychedelic journey. For the first time, I faced my ego that had been riddled with insecurities, cynicism, and blame for nineteen years. A new power was revealed to me that I was now in charge of my own life. I can choose to manifest my values, or suppress them in bitter anger. Life was a matter of two paths, one of enlightenment and one of the mainstream mechanistic, destructive, and insincere system that surrounds us. Social interactions began to become more open and loving. I was less concerned of my personal image. Social groups seemed absurd, and I saw no reason to ever label others as different or not desirable to get to know. I now see my body as my personal temple, one that should be nourished.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that when have an earnest willingness to change and let the light consume you, there is only love ahead. I feel that if you were to turn your back on the psychedelic experience, you may regain feelings of security, but old problems will begin to resurface and your life will diminish into a clone of the ordinary. I guess there is always a third road, one of devout faith and meditation, a sober man's way to enlightenment.

But I'm not sure what validity I have in my own words. I'm only nineteen and am not experienced with psychedelics. I suppose more extreme trips could flip you into a new frame of mind, one that may be destructive to your own personal path. Yet, increasingly it seems that psychedelics should only be used with a very positive mental perspective. So if you don't feel you are in that set, take a break and come back when you have more faith in yourself. But don't be afraid of alienating yourself from the mainstream. If you ever wish to hold a more interesting, beautiful and creative life, don't fall back to the ordinary. Find a new way to get yourself to enlightenment, never take steps backward.

I think some words by Tool's "The Patient" would be relevant...

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.

I still may. and I still may.
Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...
 
piku_playground said:
I guess what I'm trying to say is that when have an earnest willingness to change and let the light consume you, there is only love ahead. I feel that if you were to turn your back on the psychedelic experience, you may regain feelings of security, but old problems will begin to resurface and your life will diminish into a clone of the ordinary. I guess there is always a third road, one of devout faith and meditation, a sober man's way to enlightenment.

Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...
Click to expand...

we are far from exempt of that third road though. if we don't want to fall back, its exactly that road one must embark upon. there are no real shortcuts to enlightenment. we can ask for directions though; and perhaps get a glimpse of what lies ahead, to keep one going (or get one started). im just side-noting, perhaps you already ment to say that.
welcome to bluelight. i already took a liking to you :)
 
toomuchtv said:
I am pretty satisfied with my personal life right now, the biggest issue I am dealing with is my job. I have a professional white collar career and I make good money. I like the people I work with, but the work is killing me. Everyday I wish I had hit this point in my journey while I was still in college, so I could have changed paths. Right now I feel locked into where I am. I have student loans, a car loan, a mortgage, and a wife to support. I feel that I can't just abandon my obligations and walk down another path. My internal turmoil and stress has been wreaking havoc the last couple of weeks.
Click to expand...

I had this after my first mushroom experience (about a year ago). You have no choice but to come to terms with your reality, and it can be tough (it took me a few months of concerted effort). One of the things that calmed my stress was realizing that, even though I cannot change all that came before, I can change all that is to come. You have to have faith in yourself, and in your ability to choose what's right for yourself in the coming months and years ahead.

Make peace with where you are in life, and simultaneously vow to move in the good direction to actualize your new understanding. It's a slow process, but you can get to where you want to be.
 
azzazza !? said:
we are far from exempt of that third road though. if we don't want to fall back, its exactly that road one must embark upon. there are no real shortcuts to enlightenment. we can ask for directions though; and perhaps get a glimpse of what lies ahead, to keep one going (or get one started). im just side-noting, perhaps you already ment to say that.
welcome to bluelight. i already took a liking to you :)
Click to expand...

I think the third road will come more naturally after psychedelic experiences or a strong desire to experience higher forms of existence. A strong dependence on the ordinary or the sole usage of recreational drugs can very well stunt your growth. But in balance, the lesson is taught during the trip, and the days that follow is your chance to attempt to enact what you have learned.

Thank you azzazza. I really have enjoyed these forums so far. It is good to see an entire community growing out of a single forum. The positive effect that these discussions offer is beyond imagination. <3
 
piku_playground said:
Personal experiences with psychedelics have been very interesting for me. My first mushroom trip was tormenting and focused on the existential question of solitude; even in the presence of friends and family, no one can truly help you. Two months afterwords I was left with heightened anxiety, paranoia, and feeling I may be schizophrenic. Yet in retrospect, I never really looked at my personal mushroom experience as just an experience, one I can choose to grow from or fervently find ways to escape from reality. I was afraid of any form of mind altering drugs after this point, yet somehow I looked for comfort through the usage of pharmaceutical drugs relating to social anxiety, depression, and lethargy. Ironically, these "new" drugs I believe served no beneficial purpose oncesoever and reinforced my idea that I was imperfect and isolated from life.

Months later, after using mdma occasionally and finding a new compassion for others and life, I reembarked on my psychedelic journey. For the first time, I faced my ego that had been riddled with insecurities, cynicism, and blame for nineteen years. A new power was revealed to me that I was now in charge of my own life. I can choose to manifest my values, or suppress them in bitter anger. Life was a matter of two paths, one of enlightenment and one of the mainstream mechanistic, destructive, and insincere system that surrounds us. Social interactions began to become more open and loving. I was less concerned of my personal image. Social groups seemed absurd, and I saw no reason to ever label others as different or not desirable to get to know. I now see my body as my personal temple, one that should be nourished.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that when have an earnest willingness to change and let the light consume you, there is only love ahead. I feel that if you were to turn your back on the psychedelic experience, you may regain feelings of security, but old problems will begin to resurface and your life will diminish into a clone of the ordinary. I guess there is always a third road, one of devout faith and meditation, a sober man's way to enlightenment.

But I'm not sure what validity I have in my own words. I'm only nineteen and am not experienced with psychedelics. I suppose more extreme trips could flip you into a new frame of mind, one that may be destructive to your own personal path. Yet, increasingly it seems that psychedelics should only be used with a very positive mental perspective. So if you don't feel you are in that set, take a break and come back when you have more faith in yourself. But don't be afraid of alienating yourself from the mainstream. If you ever wish to hold a more interesting, beautiful and creative life, don't fall back to the ordinary. Find a new way to get yourself to enlightenment, never take steps backward.

I think some words by Tool's "The Patient" would be relevant...

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path Ive chosen here,
I certainly wouldve walked away by now.

I still may. and I still may.
Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...
Click to expand...

Great post. I really relate to this a lot. The mystic's journey is an inherently solitary one, in which you agree to strip away any and all cherished ideas, rocks of security and comfort, or things you always took for granted as fundamental parts of you. The prize you win is pure naked consciousness, pure unfiltered sentient being. This is what more mystical-oriented religions mean when they talk about the spark of the divine within. Take the red pill, and you'll come face to face with the naked hand of God that dwells within the sockpuppet which is you. And yet, for all its brute solitude, a mystical experience is hard to walk away from without a greater sense of oneness with everything and everyone.

But relating to others who dare not go where you went can become difficult, depending on how deep an impact your transcendent experience made on your personality and values thereafter.
 
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