fairnymph
Ex-Bluelighter
I was using morphine, usually 2-3 times a day, often as little as 15 mg a day and very rarely more than 30 mg a day, for 3-4 months. This was prescribed, for severe chronic back pain that is largely due to muscle tension. This was in Spring/Summer 2008. Midway through last summer I stopped using the morphine because I developed full-blown hyperalgesia; the morphine no longer helped my pain at all, and in fact, morphine now (still) makes my pain significantly worse, and I get a fuckton of side effects from it that were mild or nonexistent formerly.
I had no trouble coming off the morphine - I basically did a very slight taper and went through very mild, barely noticeable withdrawal. For years I used codeine 1-3 days a month for severe menstrual cramps, and more recently I have used hydrocodone (vicodin then later norco) as my cramps worsened. I have never experienced withdrawal symptoms from either, though I've also never used either regularly.
Skip to just over 3 months ago; I found a heroin source, for bags of white powder. I do not have a scale so I have no idea what the dose is. I am positive it is heroin as I have done heroin before, both street and lab-made. I made my own nasal spray; initially I would dilute 3 bags in 10 ml of water, but after 2 months nearly doubled the concentration. I would do anywhere between 2 and 10 puffs a night, usually not more than half the days of the week, but it varied. I went through maybe three periods during which I used rather heavily for 4-7 days straight. Twice I made myself stop for 5-7 days because I got a little scared, and I could tell my tolerance was rising rapidly. The first time I bought 3 bags, the second time I bought 10 bags. So I have used 13 bags total in 3 months.
It works wonderfully for my pain (by far the best opiate for my back pain) and it has almost no side effects for me; and while I wouldn't say I *quite* enjoy the 'high' - I don't dislike it. It is unlike all other opiates in that I almost sorta like it. Possibly this is in part an association because it helps my pain so much and is so free of side effects relative to all other opiates.
About two weeks ago I completely ran out. For various reasons I cannot obtain, but I of course saw that I was running low before I ran out and tapered my usage accordingly. 2-4 puffs of a very dilute solution every couple days for about a week or 10 days. My back pain varies significantly in severity; it can range from about a 7 (this is about the lowest it ever gets these days) to 10 on 1-10 scale, 10 being the worst. It's not always clear why my pain is worse; there isn't usually an obvious cause. Unfortunately, for the past 3-4 weeks it's been outrageously bad, 9-10 virtually all the time. Bad time to come off heroin, right?
So 12-14 days ago was the last time I used any heroin at all. A few days later, I'm so unable to deal with my pain (which is just back pain - not pain anywhere else, not any WD symptoms) and I'm so desperate I try some of my morphine in hopes that maybe I'm no longer hyperalgesic. That fails, and my pain's way worse. I do this one more time a couple days later. Yeah, I'm stupid.
A week ago was the last time I took any significant amount of morphine (both aforementioned times I took one 15 mg tablet). Last Friday I went into what based on everything I've read, and what I witnessed my late husband go through several times, seemed exactly like opiate WD. Horrible pain, just not in my back, but throughout my body. Muscle spasms that would crawl through my body, or last in a single muscle for 12+ hours on end. Nausea, the shakes, inability to maintain any sort of comfortable temperature (either chills or extreme fever), dizziness, greatly reduced coordination (I injured myself several times, not insignificantly, due to extreme clumsiness), peeing constantly and a sort of burning in my bladder (as if my urine is very concentrated, and in fact it smelled foul) and worst of all - sweating BUCKETS.
I tried taking 1/4 of a 15 mg morphine pill, which doesn't seem to have any effect one way or another. Saturday was just as bad. Sunday I tried another 1/4 tablet of morphine with no obvious improvement, once again. I had a few glasses of wine and THAT seemed to help. Monday, yesterday, I was noticeably better, and I'm still better today, though I'm sweating slightly more than normal and I still have the urinary symptom (though with much less odour), extreme pain, and most problematically, muscle spasms. Various muscles (pec, bicep, tricep) in my right upper body have been spasming for nearly 40 hours now, and I have nothing that I can take for them.
It doesn't seem possible to me that I could be in heroin withdrawal, time-wise, but I don't have a better explanation for my symptoms. I'm not sure that morphine would reduce my WD symptoms if I'm hyperalgesic to it, but I honestly have no idea.
Thoughts/ideas?
ETA: I'm currently running (7 mi 4-6 days a week) & doing yoga/pilates (1 hr 2-4 days a week). Somehow I was able to run Friday (it was dreadful), but couldn't muster the willpower Sat or Sunday, though I ran last/Monday night. Because of my fucking muscle spasms in my arms, I haven't done yoga since Thursday.
I had no trouble coming off the morphine - I basically did a very slight taper and went through very mild, barely noticeable withdrawal. For years I used codeine 1-3 days a month for severe menstrual cramps, and more recently I have used hydrocodone (vicodin then later norco) as my cramps worsened. I have never experienced withdrawal symptoms from either, though I've also never used either regularly.
Skip to just over 3 months ago; I found a heroin source, for bags of white powder. I do not have a scale so I have no idea what the dose is. I am positive it is heroin as I have done heroin before, both street and lab-made. I made my own nasal spray; initially I would dilute 3 bags in 10 ml of water, but after 2 months nearly doubled the concentration. I would do anywhere between 2 and 10 puffs a night, usually not more than half the days of the week, but it varied. I went through maybe three periods during which I used rather heavily for 4-7 days straight. Twice I made myself stop for 5-7 days because I got a little scared, and I could tell my tolerance was rising rapidly. The first time I bought 3 bags, the second time I bought 10 bags. So I have used 13 bags total in 3 months.
It works wonderfully for my pain (by far the best opiate for my back pain) and it has almost no side effects for me; and while I wouldn't say I *quite* enjoy the 'high' - I don't dislike it. It is unlike all other opiates in that I almost sorta like it. Possibly this is in part an association because it helps my pain so much and is so free of side effects relative to all other opiates.
About two weeks ago I completely ran out. For various reasons I cannot obtain, but I of course saw that I was running low before I ran out and tapered my usage accordingly. 2-4 puffs of a very dilute solution every couple days for about a week or 10 days. My back pain varies significantly in severity; it can range from about a 7 (this is about the lowest it ever gets these days) to 10 on 1-10 scale, 10 being the worst. It's not always clear why my pain is worse; there isn't usually an obvious cause. Unfortunately, for the past 3-4 weeks it's been outrageously bad, 9-10 virtually all the time. Bad time to come off heroin, right?
So 12-14 days ago was the last time I used any heroin at all. A few days later, I'm so unable to deal with my pain (which is just back pain - not pain anywhere else, not any WD symptoms) and I'm so desperate I try some of my morphine in hopes that maybe I'm no longer hyperalgesic. That fails, and my pain's way worse. I do this one more time a couple days later. Yeah, I'm stupid.
A week ago was the last time I took any significant amount of morphine (both aforementioned times I took one 15 mg tablet). Last Friday I went into what based on everything I've read, and what I witnessed my late husband go through several times, seemed exactly like opiate WD. Horrible pain, just not in my back, but throughout my body. Muscle spasms that would crawl through my body, or last in a single muscle for 12+ hours on end. Nausea, the shakes, inability to maintain any sort of comfortable temperature (either chills or extreme fever), dizziness, greatly reduced coordination (I injured myself several times, not insignificantly, due to extreme clumsiness), peeing constantly and a sort of burning in my bladder (as if my urine is very concentrated, and in fact it smelled foul) and worst of all - sweating BUCKETS.
I tried taking 1/4 of a 15 mg morphine pill, which doesn't seem to have any effect one way or another. Saturday was just as bad. Sunday I tried another 1/4 tablet of morphine with no obvious improvement, once again. I had a few glasses of wine and THAT seemed to help. Monday, yesterday, I was noticeably better, and I'm still better today, though I'm sweating slightly more than normal and I still have the urinary symptom (though with much less odour), extreme pain, and most problematically, muscle spasms. Various muscles (pec, bicep, tricep) in my right upper body have been spasming for nearly 40 hours now, and I have nothing that I can take for them.
It doesn't seem possible to me that I could be in heroin withdrawal, time-wise, but I don't have a better explanation for my symptoms. I'm not sure that morphine would reduce my WD symptoms if I'm hyperalgesic to it, but I honestly have no idea.
Thoughts/ideas?
ETA: I'm currently running (7 mi 4-6 days a week) & doing yoga/pilates (1 hr 2-4 days a week). Somehow I was able to run Friday (it was dreadful), but couldn't muster the willpower Sat or Sunday, though I ran last/Monday night. Because of my fucking muscle spasms in my arms, I haven't done yoga since Thursday.
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