Heroin/Opioid Thread - Serious Discussion Only

[Mystery Brew]

day 2. without benzo or any script'd drugs. fuck im burning. burning in hell

about to take a warm bath. idk hopefully relieve something. dam. dunno if I can stand another night up

 

[Mystery Brew]

idk if I can do it. My DAM restless leg. WHAT THE FUCK. i dont know what to do. I have work tomorow. and on top of that I havent slept in 2 days. lord have mercy...but dam. idk if i should shoot for work..atleast I can be productive. would the w/d be worse after 1 time use in 4 days?

I need to sleep. bad. wow.

 

[panic in paradise]

yes, you will reset yourself a good amount doing more now after 4 days, the worst is usually over by then.

IDK, i bet by the time you get off work you will crash hard, and feel a great deal better waking up, and not further behind.

 

[paranoid android]

If you shoot up now your going to pretty much reset all your non junk time. Ive fucked myself in the past by taking a large dose of morphine, dilaudid, whatever 3 days in because i was hurting so bad. Withdrawals that would have been over in 5-7 often spread out into 10 days or more.

A dose of a lighter opiate such as codeine may not be a bad idea however. It will suspend the withdrawals some but not much in my experience atleast.

 

[Carl Landrover]

Shits been tough last few days.

I've started a summer class and between the stress of class and school, I'm getting wore down.

Beyond that though, I have to drive to school 4 days a week. My school is a 3 minute drive to score dope. I see people who look like they're selling or buying or are involved someway. They're a stones throw away.

Dope boy is still around, still copping.


I'm slipping here. Using doesn't seem so pointless anymore. I want the taste. I want the relaxation, the bliss, the intoxication, the mood shift. I WANT SOME MOTHERFUCKING DOPE!


My girlfriend would be disappointed though. She cried when I told her how much I was craving, probably because she can see that glint in my eye that REALLY wants it.

 

[Dead-N]

Carl, have you gotten to a point where you actually feel "normal" yet? I have noticed that in the past, as soon as I get to start feeling normal is when those intense cravings come back.. We tend to forget about the hell we went through to get clean and loose track of all of that. It's not worth it and it WILL start it all over again, right back to ground zero.

I'm only 2weeks clean(maybe a day or 2 less) and not "normal" yet so have no real cravings other then sneezing like crazy and feeling like crap. It's when I get to that finally clean clear headed normal state that I fuck it all up again.

This is the turning point right now, look deep inside of your self and reflect on all you have gone through to get where you are ,you are really at the tip of the slope now and you can fall either way.. I hope for you that it's the right direction that you wish to fall in.

about the best advice I can muster in this state.
best wishes
-Dead-N

 

[slaugh]

Right now, whats keeping me from wanting to use opiates again is the thought of going through withdrawal again. If I get a thought in my head of "oh man, i really want this..." I then remember day 3 of WD. Its actually working really well for me so far.

d_w- hope you get to feeling better!!! the alarm clock sounds like a very good idea

a year on methadone ST/How r u now?

 

[eon_blue]

We tend to forget about the hell we went through to get clean and loose track of all of that. It's not worth it and it WILL start it all over again, right back to ground zero.
-Dead-N

So true, I had the same thing happen to me at 9 months clean. Started recalling how good it felt while simultaneously forgetting how bad it got, then before I knew it I was using again.

Took me only a few days of consecutive using before I remembered how shitty it gets again, but by then I was back on the run and didn't stop for a couple more months. The consequences of that relapse were worse than the first time, too.

Just remember Carl, shit will never pan out the way you want it to if you pick up again. Believe me, after I got substantial clean time and relapsed, the initial rush was great and all, but it was so laced with shame and guilt that it was hardly what I wanted it to be. It's not worth losing everything over

 

[jigsawpuzzlepiece]

Just an update... I have been really feeling down this past month or two. Was using a good bit but then I got ripped off a few times and it caused me to stand back and become disgusted with the whole lifestyle and how much money I was spending so I decided to detox. I have been taking some kind of opiate almost every day for 10 months now but never more than .5 gram of heroin a day (usually more like .1-.2 on avg) so not a massive habit but a very lengthy one.

Long story short, my first attempt at cold turkey detox was last weekend. I made it 28 hours before I lost my shit, I was bouncing off the walls, anxiety through the roof, I finally broke down and went to score some.

Well I work all week so I did use a little bit but I took it as easy as possible, just using enough to feel good enough to go to work. So I ran out last night and this is my second weekend attempt at detoxing.

This time, I felt bad after 24 hours but I wasn't losing my mind like last weekend so I think the pseudo-taper that I did worked. The best part is I managed to acquire several 8mg suboxones over the course of the week. I did nt know what dose would hold me, so I snorted 2mg. It took about an hour but I feel so much better now. If sub can make me feel like this on only 2mg, I know I can go to work all week while tapering the dose and hopefully jump all the way off from the sub next weekend.

Then I need to focus on quitting smoking pot... my other vice, and substantial habit that sucks a lot of money and life out of me.

Hopefully I will be around BL more. I haven't been on in a while because I just don't ever think to come to TDS when I am using and if I do I usually feel guilty posting here while I'm high.

I hope everyone from this thread that helped me out a few months ago when I was breaking up with my gf is doing good> misshollywood, drug_wench, georgie, others that I've forgotten please report in please... or maybe I should read the thread.

 

[Georgie25]

Hey man^^ Sorry to hear about your relapse, I too have been fuckin up with the dope recently, pretty much just using .3 a day to stay well..Thankfully someone is helping me out and giving me around 30 8mg subs and a whole slew of detox meds to help me kick the habit for good this time. How do you feel on the subs BTW, compared to dope? I should be starting my sub detox beginning next week but am still very cusious as to what the sub feeling feels like. ALso, have you only done ur subs via snorting or have u taken them the precribed way, i.e under the tongue? What's the difference for you?

I've tried cold turkey way too many times, this'll be my first try with subs but I can feel it'll work. Gotta have faith.

 

[lasthurrah19]

You both are really lucky getting help with subs like that! In my experience, I've used subs to taper and felt almost no withdrawals at all, several times... from a 90-150mg/day oxy habit I had for about 1 1/2 years. Used very little sub (maybe 8mg the first day, 2-4mg a day after that for 6 or 7 days, then done and feel fine)

 

[eon_blue]

Important thing to remember with subs is that you should only stay on them just long enough to get over the worst of the withdrawals (unless you're on doctor monitored maintenance).

You don't want to use all of those subs up and run out, then have to go through sub w/d. It's not as bad as dope but feeling like shit for 2-4 weeks straight sure isn't fun.

Personally, I found that if I spent more than 5 days in a row tapering with sub, I'd then become dependent on it. My most successful taper lasted only 4 days. I still felt crappy afterward (lethargy and depression), but those symptoms take months to fully disappear. Use the subs to get through the worst of the physical part of w/d (the first few days), then ride out the rest. At least that's what I recommend.

Of course, when you've got 30 pills lying around it's not going to be easy to stop taking them. I ditched the rest of my subs after my last taper, having them around only made me crave dope more because I knew that if I got hooked again then I could just taper off. Now that I threw all my subs away I'm not going anywhere near dope, I can't handle cold turkey. I'd end up back in rehab for sure, and fuck that shit.

 

[jigsawpuzzlepiece]

I have taken subs both sublingually and intranasal.

I didn't notice much of a difference... both ROAs had a long onset. Or maybE I just didn't wait long enough after dope because it would take me at least an hour to start feeling better from sub both ROAs.

BUT when it does finally kick in it makes me feel completely normal. Can't speak on the cravings yet, but like I said I took a fairly small dose - 2mg (1/4 of one of the 8s that I have) up the nose around 3:00pm. Its now 5:00pm, I was feeling like shit before I took it, then I fell asleep and when I woke up I felt fine.

Like I said I feel like I could go to work right now on the sub and it lasts a long time too. I plan to stay on sub for maybe 4 or 5 days at the most, just long enough to get over the worst parts of the heroin withdrawal. Then I plan to kick altogether next weekend.

The BEST part about sub for me is the blocking. I know for a fact there is no way I will get high on dope, I know I could blow a whole gram right now and I would feel about the same as I do now. So that helps a lot with the cravings and especially with giving in to the cravings. Methadone was good, but it would make me feel fine then I would want dope and I knew I could get high on it still so I'd go and get it. Not the case with sub. I've tried before, I know its pointless for at least 24 hours, really u should wait 48 hours if you really want to feel the opiates.

So I agree, Sub is the best all around drug for withdrawal that I've found. I agree we are very lucky to have some! An 8mg sub can go a long way. I dunno about maintenance, seems like it would work well for that.

edit: Just wanted to add, kicking cold turkey is absurdly challenging and difficult. Unless you are flat broke with no connects and locked in a house, chances are not in your favor. In this day and age, there are so many drugs out there (non-opiate even) both OTC and ones that are easy to get prescribed to help get thru withdrawal. If you keep trying to cold turkey and failing, as I and many others have, don't give up! Don't feel bad about yourself either! People have kicked cold turkey, its not impossible, but it is so goddamn hard that you definitely shouldn't feel bad for not being able to pull it off. Get yourself together a detox kit (thats what I call it) with all the helpful pills you can find... I'm not gonna bother listing them here there are tons of guides on BL that are far more comprehensive but if you do want some advice you can PM me.

 

[Georgie25]

Important thing to remember with subs is that you should only stay on them just long enough to get over the worst of the withdrawals (unless you're on doctor monitored maintenance).

You don't want to use all of those subs up and run out, then have to go through sub w/d. It's not as bad as dope but feeling like shit for 2-4 weeks straight sure isn't fun.

Personally, I found that if I spent more than 5 days in a row tapering with sub, I'd then become dependent on it. My most successful taper lasted only 4 days. I still felt crappy afterward (lethargy and depression), but those symptoms take months to fully disappear. Use the subs to get through the worst of the physical part of w/d (the first few days), then ride out the rest. At least that's what I recommend.

Of course, when you've got 30 pills lying around it's not going to be easy to stop taking them. I ditched the rest of my subs after my last taper, having them around only made me crave dope more because I knew that if I got hooked again then I could just taper off. Now that I threw all my subs away I'm not going anywhere near dope, I can't handle cold turkey. I'd end up back in rehab for sure, and fuck that shit.

Thanks for the info. I'm getting the subs all for free from a friend as well. I dont know how much subs i'm gonna have to take to take the w/d away so it's good to have a lot for backup. U're right tho, i dont wanna get hooked on them and run out, as I dont have a steady supply of them myself.

I'm still wondering what you actually FEEL like when on subs. Does it just make you totally not dope sick, manageable, etc? Does it feel like an opiate high? I just cant believe taking subs for the first 5 days of w/ds, which are the worst physical symptoms i get in those 5 days, will just erase them and once i stop subs they'll be gone, but is that what will happen?

I'm also going to stop all dope usage tommorow and be off it for a good 24 or so hours before i start taking my first dose of subs (im gonna start with 2 or 4 mg, what do u recommend for a .3-.5g a day habit of good dope?) as i hear if i dont do this the subs will just send me into worse w/d and not do anything.

Help!:D%)

 

[lasthurrah19]

IME, on oxycodone, I could take subs for up to two weeks without getting physically addicted to subs. But yeah I'd say a week or less just in case. And also IME, it did almost completely stop all withdrawal symptoms. The only one I really had at all was insomnia. So yeah it's THAT GOOD of a drug. Once you stop taking it, you're just in very very mild withdrawal or feel normal (depending on when you stop). Almost get-out-of-withdrawal free. Don't know if it'd be the same with heroin, but I can imagine it would be similar.

 

[jigsawpuzzlepiece]

Thanks for the info. I'm getting the subs all for free from a friend as well. I dont know how much subs i'm gonna have to take to take the w/d away so it's good to have a lot for backup. U're right tho, i dont wanna get hooked on them and run out, as I dont have a steady supply of them myself.

I'm still wondering what you actually FEEL like when on subs. Does it just make you totally not dope sick, manageable, etc? Does it feel like an opiate high? I just cant believe taking subs for the first 5 days of w/ds, which are the worst physical symptoms i get in those 5 days, will just erase them and once i stop subs they'll be gone, but is that what will happen?

I'm also going to stop all dope usage tommorow and be off it for a good 24 or so hours before i start taking my first dose of subs (im gonna start with 2 or 4 mg, what do u recommend for a .3-.5g a day habit of good dope?) as i hear if i dont do this the subs will just send me into worse w/d and not do anything.

Help!:D%)

Georgie, if you take the right dose of sub 24 hours you go into withdrawals and wait 1 hour, ALL withdrawals symptoms should be completely eliminated. It should make you feel completely normal. Some people report cravings for dope still but don't worry, you can do as much dope as you can afford it aint gonna do shit to you.

If you take sub and feel sick 7 hours later you didnt' take enough. The correct dosage level should hold you for at leasr 24 hours.

I recommend starting at 4mg for your tolerance, which is about the same as mine.

As for the "taking subs for 5 days to completely eliminate withdrawals" I will believe it when I seeit, but a friend of mine who was waaaay more strung than me for waaaaaay longer did this with 2 8mgs:

Day 1 6mg
Day 2 4mg
Day 3 3mg
Day 4 2mg
Day 5 1mg
Day 6 nothing

And he said he felt no pain, virtually no withdrawals after that. Amazing! Wish us luck.

edit: Like the guy above me said, I had trouble sleeping last night. Melatonin wasn't enough but I have some Lunesta I'll probably have to take tonight.

 

[Georgie25]

Thats good to hear, cant wait till tommorow to get my subs.

I've got a whole slew of other detox meds as well if i have trouble sleeping.

Promethazine 25mg tabs
Seroquel 50mg
Klonopin .5mg
.1mg clonidine
A couple 7.5mg vikodanz
Immodium AD
Vitamins

and of course I'll have 30 8mg subs.

Does this sound good for a successful detox this time?? In the past I've made it the farthest 3 days cold turkey with only immodium, so I have a lot of extra help this time.

 

[jigsawpuzzlepiece]

Thats good to hear, cant wait till tommorow to get my subs.

I've got a whole slew of other detox meds as well if i have trouble sleeping.

Promethazine 25mg tabs
Seroquel 50mg
Klonopin .5mg
.1mg clonidine
A couple 7.5mg vikodanz
Immodium AD
Vitamins

and of course I'll have 30 8mg subs.

Does this sound good for a successful detox this time?? In the past I've made it the farthest 3 days cold turkey with only immodium, so I have a lot of extra help this time.

The subs alone should be plenty but having seroquel for sleep, klonopin for anxiety, and clonidine for any lingering w/d symptoms. You should be set! I wish I had all that extra stuff but I got only subs and that is doign the trick so far.

 

[Carl Landrover]

Carl, have you gotten to a point where you actually feel "normal" yet? I have noticed that in the past, as soon as I get to start feeling normal is when those intense cravings come back.. We tend to forget about the hell we went through to get clean and loose track of all of that. It's not worth it and it WILL start it all over again, right back to ground zero.

I'm only 2weeks clean(maybe a day or 2 less) and not "normal" yet so have no real cravings other then sneezing like crazy and feeling like crap. It's when I get to that finally clean clear headed normal state that I fuck it all up again.

This is the turning point right now, look deep inside of your self and reflect on all you have gone through to get where you are ,you are really at the tip of the slope now and you can fall either way.. I hope for you that it's the right direction that you wish to fall in.

about the best advice I can muster in this state.
best wishes
-Dead-N

So true, I had the same thing happen to me at 9 months clean. Started recalling how good it felt while simultaneously forgetting how bad it got, then before I knew it I was using again.

Took me only a few days of consecutive using before I remembered how shitty it gets again, but by then I was back on the run and didn't stop for a couple more months. The consequences of that relapse were worse than the first time, too.

Just remember Carl, shit will never pan out the way you want it to if you pick up again. Believe me, after I got substantial clean time and relapsed, the initial rush was great and all, but it was so laced with shame and guilt that it was hardly what I wanted it to be. It's not worth losing everything over

Thanks for the replies guys! Your responses were dead on to how I've been feeling lately. Didn't end up getting anything, was mainly just venting I guess.

Was starting to glamorize it and forget the shittier aspects. I have been feeling a lot more 'normal' lately and I often feel like I'm very boring.

I don't really know what other people do that makes them more exciting, but I feel like just going to work and school is too boring or something. Getting and doing drugs was exciting, and made me kind of interesting I thought.


Doing pretty good for now though, girlfriend is really helping. We went kayaking for me making it 2 months and she's got something planned if I make it to 3. It sounded intriguing enough to stay clean for. The other times I've quit, I've always felt alone. It's nice to have some additional support for a change. Now if I could just get this school work done things would be dandy. School in summa time?!

 

[pukingcells]

I've got a whole slew of other detox meds as well if i have trouble sleeping.

Promethazine 25mg tabs
Seroquel 50mg
Klonopin .5mg
.1mg clonidine
A couple 7.5mg vikodanz
Immodium AD
Vitamins

and of course I'll have 30 8mg subs.

Does this sound good for a successful detox this time?? In the past I've made it the farthest 3 days cold turkey with only immodium, so I have a lot of extra help this time.

Georgie25

IME, I would take a little Klonipin waiting for WD, maybe 12 hours after you use, because when the anxiety hits, I personally am not ready for the sub. It is still too soon and the anxiety is usually the first symptom. If you take the sub too soon, it will be hell.

I usually take just a piece of a K-pin about 12 hours after my last shot of H and then usually rest/sleep and wake up ready for the sub which is at about 18 hours for me. I cannot get to the point of withdrawal I need to be in order to take the sub without any help. The K-pin is the ticket for me. Just my experience and thought I'd share it.