are you kidding me universe?
I've been in this ridiculous relationship with this girl for nearly 2 years and I'm only in high school, I love her dearly but I said ridiculous because it come with more stress than I'd wish on anyone. Stuff like addiction, suicide, grief and mental illness.
If that wasn't hard enough to juggle, now I've fallen completely in love with a female friend of mine. I've only know here for a month or two, but it's ridiculous how fast we became completely comfortable around each other. She shares the same feelings for me, and it's getting ackward fast. Especially when my girlfriend and I hang out with this girl, my girlfriend is noticing her "face light up when we make eye contact"

. We have many, many similar interests- to the point of strangeness actually. We both love eastern philosophy, psychedelia, visual arts, literature and we both hold similar world views similar to Zen Buddhism. My current girlfriend and I don't really share......any interests. It makes finding things to go out and do very difficult.
It feels like such a good choice to start seeing this new girl, but my girlfriend would be fucking
devastated. I really don't even have the ability to do that. I love both of them equally but in different ways. I've been denying it for a long time but I think the relationship my girlfriend wouldn't be there if I hadn't been her crutch/punching-bag for 2 years. She's my first girlfriend, she gave me a self-esteem, practically pulled me out of an emotional gutter- and proceeded to drag me through several other ones (intending no harm of course).
Swillow I believe knows the story relatively well. I want to hear what he has to say.
Fuck yes this is my blog, shut up.