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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Cutting v. 2

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Thanks so much honey *hugs*
I'm sorry to hear you cut again. Try to go for even longer this time without doing it. You know you can get by without having to do it, so you must have some other coping mechanisms in place. It doesn't matter than you slipped up this time, just keep going like you were before <3

Pillthrill said:
I hate people. I want to cut...drugs don't help. At least when I had Tramadol there was artificial happiness...
A lot of times I don't even feel like I'm in this body. And if I am, why does it matter. Look over the scars..I'm never going to be perfect and pretty. I stole that away from myself when I first took a razor to my skin...and the depression stole, my childhood, my happiness, my friends, my innocence, my love, my life. I won't ever have that back.
There is a lot that I can't get back. I can try to make myself pretty and bright and smile, but somewhere on the side will always be a dark hole slowly sucking me into it. Its its sadness and depths of depression, stealing away my happiness and my light...
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PT, your scars do NOT dictate who you are as a person. At the risk of sounding cliched, who you are comes from within. Scars DO FADE with time. Some of my older ones are almost getting to the point of being inconspicuous.
You are beautiful. Inside and out. Plain and simple.
 
Pillthrill said:
I had my fangs in and bit him and it bled. I carried razors with me, so I made a cut and shared my blood with him.
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hun, u need to b very careful wen u do things like this - not just cos of the cutting, but u r sharing blood with another human being!

u can catch nasty blood-carried diseases like hepatitis or even HIV if ur not careful

esp if the guy u did this with has done similar things with other girls who cud b carriers of the disease/s

i dont want to scare u but i wud seriously advise u to get a blood test done for hep C/HIV after doing things like that - its at least as risky as sharing needles

also human bites (u biting him) can b surprisingly toxic and become infected easily - so make sure if u bite someone they put disinfectant on it straight away

sorry to derail the thread - thsi just alarmed me a bit!

i also just want to acknowledge neo (not just at how well ur doing with/out the cutting but) at how u help others in this thread - u r a true godsend, sweetie
take care, and keep it up <3
 
drug_wench said:
hun, u need to b very careful wen u do things like this - not just cos of the cutting, but u r sharing blood with another human being!

u can catch nasty blood-carried diseases like hepatitis or even HIV if ur not careful

esp if the guy u did this with has done similar things with other girls who cud b carriers of the disease/s

i dont want to scare u but i wud seriously advise u to get a blood test done for hep C/HIV after doing things like that - its at least as risky as sharing needles

also human bites (u biting him) can b surprisingly toxic and become infected easily - so make sure if u bite someone they put disinfectant on it straight away

sorry to derail the thread - thsi just alarmed me a bit!

i also just want to acknowledge neo (not just at how well ur doing with/out the cutting but) at how u help others in this thread - u r a true godsend, sweetie
take care, and keep it up <3
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It was a one time experience. Just got wrapped up in the thuinder storm and the role play and what not. We had a sexual relationship, so I figure it can't me much worse. I've been tested several times and might go in again soon. It was a one time experience of blood lust. I don't see myself ever repeating it. Exspecially with Sean being so again cutting and FREAKING out this weekend with seeing a little blood after cutting...
 
Butterfly_kisses said:
ive tried so hard to go again for 4 months without cutting but i fucked it up again today.
people absolutly suck!

n3ophy7e
congrads you are going soo well!
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I have stopped blaming others for my actions because the only one who can make me feel the way I do is me. Yes other might do things I dont like or that could possibly make me angry, but I am the one who gets to deide how I am going to let it effect me. So when I cut, there is knowone to blame but myself. Not that I'm putting you down or anything, Kisses, just letting you know what I have come to conclude on that part of the subject.
Take care, and be safe!
 
TheDwnwrdSpirl said:
I have stopped blaming others for my actions because the only one who can make me feel the way I do is me. Yes other might do things I dont like or that could possibly make me angry, but I am the one who gets to deide how I am going to let it effect me. So when I cut, there is knowone to blame but myself. Not that I'm putting you down or anything, Kisses, just letting you know what I have come to conclude on that part of the subject.
Take care, and be safe!
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yeah i get that, and i did it cause i know ive fucked everything up.
but i do also think some people absolutly suck, but i know they only acted liek that cause of what ive done.
so i totally get what youre saying. i dont cut cause of other people cause it would be much easyer to go beat them up. i cut cause i know ive screwed things up with those people and im angry at myself for it.
if any of that makes sence. lol.
Take care and be safe tooo, and to all of you on here!
 
Pillthrill said:
I fucking hate assholes on bl! Go to hell. Why do you have to fuck with me?!
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There are some people on here who are just compeltely worthless. They bring nothing to the table except insults, nasty attitude, and childish trolling. Most of them hang out in the lounge. I would say don't let them get to you, but I let them get to me, so I guess it's easier said than done.
 
imnakedrightnow said:
i never cut myself to get pleasure but my girl is big cutter and one crazy drunk night she convinced me to let her bring a razor into the bed and i have to say having her cut me and lick my wound was almost one of the best experiences iv had but i just cant handle hurting myself...
i thank god i cant cut myself other whys i would abbbuse it like i always do everything ells
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lol awesome

I haven't stopped by the thread in forever, and when I do, THIS is the first thing I see??

I bid you all a 'giggity', and 'good day'.
 
I want to cut SO F-ing bad! But Sean was SO upset and mad last time. But I NEED to be punished for what I did. I'm a horrible person. I deserve the pain. I heated a lighter and put it to my skin once because I couldn't take it. Doesn't scar as bad, make gone in days not weeks and I doubt Sean would even know what it is. Its pain, and thats what I need....
 
PT you don't need pain and you don't need scars. You don't deserve to be punished.
You need to talk to Sean and tell him how you're feeling. You'll feel so much better after you talk to him about this.
Please don't harm yourself <3
 
PT talk to sean and stop beating up on yourself because thats going to get you fuckin nowhere at all. Like neo said you don't deserve to be punished and cutting yourself ain't going to help matters.

Im not a cutter by nature but ive slashed myself up in fits of mania or depression and it certainly didnt help. Going around with long sleves on for weeks to hide the cuts from my family isint the most pleasant thing.
 
I did talk to him. And I still feel bad... pop more pills to get high again and not sleep. Or start with lighter burns. Doesn't really scar, hurts and what not. Not what I WANT to do, but it works.
 
Not the way cutting does. easier for me to hide or explain than the straight razorblade cuts across my wrist. Everyone knows I'm lying....
 
there was a guy who i used to go to NA with and he had lighter burn scars all down his legs - tbh it looked much worse than cutting scars

my ex, darko, also used to burn himself with a lighter as part of a satanic ritual he did and it was pretty fucking noticeable on him even tho he has darkish skin (hes macedonian)
 
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