I need to stop GBL,I'm fine when on it,but coming off it gets even worse each time.I constantly fear that I won't be able to sleep again.I managed 2 weeks off and could function without any meds,but as I keep doing turned into a drunk again and had to go back to the guice to stop drinking.24/7 Sat - Sat and no other drugs,functioned fine around people and didn't fuck up once.Until it came time to quit...and I fuck it all up.

I can't do this anymore.My alcoholism is sort of controlled when I'm not on GBL,eg I don't turn up to work/meetings drunk/drinking like I used to in the past.I don't want to keep having a fortnight of fighting my drink demon and failing,then going on the guice but failing miserably to come off it properly.
And I need to stay away from these fucking spice type products as they remove my ability to sleep completly.
I've got several months worth of trazadone stashed,but it doesn't help me sleep at all due to it having no gaba agonism or anti-histamine action.
I don't know how to function without some sort of mood improving substances.Right now I feel hideous,and I really hope I can get some level of medicated sleep tonight and tomorrow or Wednesday is going to be truly undealable.

Not having internet access at home is now seriously a problem,I mean on Saturday and Sunday I just sat around drinking and talking to myself as I knew I couldn't be around other people.
The substance misuse people have no idea how to deal with me as GHB/GBL isn't on their list of things and I've never been a chronic alcoholic.I need to sort some shit out with them,its been 8 months since I sort assistance,then the keyworker left and ever since then I've been one huge mess.

Please let me have some sleep tonight and tomorrow brain/body.