• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

What's your biggest stumbling block to escaping addiction?

Miss holywood doesnt need to get a job. It would put 100x more pressure on her then she already has. However, if she waited a month clean and started getting on track, it would be a different story. Right now she just needs some <3
 
mmmCHRISx said:
Miss holywood doesnt need to get a job. It would put 100x more pressure on her then she already has. However, if she waited a month clean and started getting on track, it would be a different story. Right now she just needs some <3
Click to expand...

Thank you sweetheart!!! :) That is exactly what I was trying to say! This whole week and a half sober thing has been pretty hard. My addiction was pretty bad. I was up to like $300 worth a day. No joke. I'm tryin to get better but I gotta take shit one day at a time!
 
Your very welcome (: Your already past the worst withdrawl symptoms. Know you just need to keep yourself occupied. The cravings are going to last a long time, but all you need is strong will power.
 
Lets see.. there is a number of factors. Depression is a good one. The anxiety I get from it. The extreme restlessness and of course horrible withdrawals. I always end up missing being high. I'm in the exact situation you are in Miss Hollywood. I took out thousands of dollars in loans and a title loan which they look my car but I got it back. It sucks its an endless route. Just keep positive. It will all work out eventually.
 
pain, weird feeling in my legs, feeling that I'll feel better on dope but at the same time knowing it makes me into a zombie long term, it's a toss up, pain and me or no pain and a zombie. I've been clean since Sept 08.
 
I missed the simplicity of copping, getting high, and repeating. Terrible.... The anticipation was exhilarating and then using was bliss. But I am only remembering the "good" parts of using. Waking up every morning sucked...8)
 
I would say stress that whole "fuck do you really think you can do this, your just like everyone else but trying to be something your not" conflicting with the "im the shit, if i cant do it then it doesnt exist" Thats why i hate my classes every one of them fits into that conflict. Leads to alot of drinking, more then id like but not what id consider a problem.

*Not and addict just a poly drug user with rotational patterns to avoid using any one substance too long*
 
Depression, anxiety, boredom, routine... etc.

Boredom's a big one, boredom is the reason I can't quit smoking, every time I'm bored It's habit to go outside and smoke. Boredom's the reason I'm depressed as well.
 
I haven't drank or done any drugs in about a year and a half. But that doesn't mean I'm not still an addict. I could easily fall back into my old ways.

And a lot of people on this board won't want to hear this, and I'll probably get blasted for saying it, but for me the solution was in AA (not NA). Nothing else worked for me.

Now I still have problems but losing the roof over my head or getting arrested or dying or watching my friends waste away and constantly hurting the people I love... they just aren't on the list.

And hurdles to getting off drugs? For me it was the whole God thing in AA. I always knew people in those meetings were sober, but I thought they were brainwashed. Plus I was a total agnostic. But I put myself in a position to where it was either stay off drugs or be homeless in an unfamiliar town... and actually put effort into the steps. I knew that I couldn't do it on my own and I was desperate to improve my life. It worked, for me. The obsession to get high or drunk went away. I miss it sometimes, but I don't have any real desire to do it.

I used to be miserable because I was completely dependent on heroin and alcohol. Now, life is not perfect by any means, and I still constantly invite chaos into my life, probably because I'm still not used to living like a normal person. But life is ok. And sometimes, it's great.
 
Well being on subxone for one....its pretty just trading one addiction for another. It has helped me immensely so i cant speak negatively about it. But one of the main factors is i live almost within walking distance to a guy i know who sells dope. Plus he delivers so if i really wanted it, i could have him come to me and that kind of sucks.

Boredom, and pretty much all the other shit that has kept me in the loop for the past 9 years. Girls, boredom, frustrations about life and work, plus the fact i know once i get that shot ready nothing else matters.
 
my "social anxiety" is the major thing i need opiates for. without them i feel no pleasure in being around anyone, i feel like nothing is even worth saying, i'll often just stay home alone and feel depressed and lonely. but after i get some opiates in my body i am mister fuckin social lets go out and party and find some girls to hang out with until 4am. that and i hate the chills that i feel without opiates. it really bugs the shit out of me especially during the cold season.. i detoxed no less than two months ago (oxy-80-100mgs/day) and i am already back on daily poppy seed tea.. went through almost a whole month of hell for nothing.. god what a fucked up addiction..
 
Boredom,where i live,the fact i enjoy taking drugs which some people dont like to admit!
When i go away on holiday or whatever i just take my methadone and im fine. Heroin doesn't really cross my mind. Its weed i crave the most. When im at home its a different story.....
 
you NEED to find a different hobby. If you are anything like I am you probably have no idea what you enjoyed doing before you got addicted, so you have to find something new. Someone I know beat a heroin addiction through netflix and model cars =] you just can't sit around doing nothing because all you will think about is doing it again.
 
'medicine cabinet' said:
Well being on subxone for one....its pretty just trading one addiction for another. It has helped me immensely so i cant speak negatively about it. But one of the main factors is i live almost within walking distance to a guy i know who sells dope. Plus he delivers so if i really wanted it, i could have him come to me and that kind of sucks.

Boredom, and pretty much all the other shit that has kept me in the loop for the past 9 years. Girls, boredom, frustrations about life and work, plus the fact i know once i get that shot ready nothing else matters.
Click to expand...

Yeah the whole delivery thing makes it hard not to buy lol.

I'm using a lot of shit lately because my job is getting me down, lot of negativity and threats of layoffs etc. Kind of awkward situation with my girl. Those are the 2 primary factors, and then all the little insignificant things that get piled on top get blown way out of proportion the more depressed I get.

The only thing that can make me as happy as a nice night with a girl, is my desk drawer full of various chemicals. Back in the day when I was a virgin and knew next to nothing about drugs I was fine just hanging out at the house playing video games to keep my mind occupied. Now I'm just fucking spoiled.

Once you're introduced to certain feelings, other things just aren't appealing anymore. Sucks that it works out that way.
 
Miss Hollywood said:
I too am a heroin addict, but in recovery. 13 days clean, on suboxone.

And boredom has become my worst ememy.

And every night in my dreams, I see heroin, do it, buy it, whatever.

I wake up sweating,nausous,and craving.

Sigh.

I lost my car due to my addiction, so I have no way to really leave my house.

And I live with my parents.

I want to fucking kill myself right now, I swear...I hate this shit.

All I can think about is how I want to get high. I have a lil bit of money to score too, just no way to get there.

Plus I'm on bupe, and i already dosed today so even if I did get the dope it wouldn't do shit to me.

ugh.

i fucking hate being a drug addict sometimes.

help me, please!??!!bluelighters!!! fellow addicts!!!

How do you deal in my situation?

I read.

I watch tv.

I listen to my house phone ring endlessly with all the creditors I owe thousands upon thousands of dollars to leave messages on the answering machine.

I'm about to file for bankruptcy.

In the past 4 months,(been hooked 10 months), I lost my apartment that I had for two years, all of my money, some friends, my xbox 360, wii, all my cds, dvds, games, and most recently my car because I couldnt afford the high payment on it anymore and cuz all my money went to getting heroin.

I have no job.

I'm facing a trial for some trouble i got into.

The list goes on.

My life sucks a big one right now.

I fucked up. Man, I fucked my whole life up....

And lost EVERYTHING I worked for.

To heroin.

And even though I'm in recovery right now, I still feel like its not gonna work in the end.

That nobody can "fix me."

Sigh.

Advice?

I need to feel better.
Click to expand...

I'm about in the same position as you... i started sub treatement thought i was gonna get better im only 19 ... i relapse just about every weekend and i don't start a job for 3 weeks so what the fuck am i gonna do all day? I swear i woulda been better of if my parents let me go back to school. Fuck my life right now.
 
All I do is work. I get up at 7am and get home at 7pm.
I have no girlfriend and only one friend who its into drugs too (but much less than me).
When I come back to home, there is only my anime figures for cheering me up and welcome me home.
I bought a PS2, a NDS, a PSP, I watched hundreds of movies and animes.. boring, loneliness, depression, there is nothing in my life besides going to work and coming back to get ready for work the next day (im a network admin, so you can picture how lonely I am inside those freezing data centers and programming stupid scripts in UNIX-like environments).

After a "tripping season" (DXM, HUGE doses of LSD, 2C-E, etc), I became addicted to opioids and benzos. And now its my only reason to come back to home... to go back to work... even to live.
Its when im working and I have to stop those retarded DDoS attacks because everyone is desesperated, than I think about drowning in benzos and sometimes also opioids. But mostly benzos. I cant live without them. Obviously I cant sleep without them, and I sweat, tremble and get uber irritated if im in withdrawal.

Whats blocking my escape to addiction? I suppose me itself. Because I CANT care about getting a girlfriend or even make friends. I just dont get it... maybe I have Asperger's syndrome hell I dunno.
When im not lurking internet, getting high (or doing both at the same time) I just study programming and networking books, read mangas, and make some homework cleaning.

Natural sedatives, muscle relaxants, sometimes some alcohol, sometimes Sprite (the lima-lemon savor its awesome with benzos), and lot of benzos its my "real oxygen".
I would like to die of a Midazolam IV OD honestly, it would be so sweet... but so far... I suppose DrHouse, anime shows, videogames, all about open source, and ironically, drugs, made my life a little more interesting...
 
i tried H 2 months ago and ended up doin it every day till 2 weeks ago when i got VERY sick and bad withdrawals im still a little sick i guess u just gotta hit ur bottom before u DECIDE that You wantt to quit and live a different life
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top