alcoholism thread [merged]

[n3ophy7e]

Hey belarki, welcome to the thread

Congrats on your second day sober
Best of luck! Feel free to check in here with any updates/struggles/etc.

 

[lady grey]

I only just realised i'm an alcoholic I guess not going a day without a drink in from what i can remember for 6 months without at least a bottle of wine is telling... What scared me is when i blacked out for 4 hours while drinking with my best friend and her cradling me for all that time while i cried and just kept on saying i was scared. I don't remember it at ALL but have a bruise on my head and scrape on my arm from when she said i fell. Thank god i was with her! I need to do something about this, am just not sure what and am still wondering and in shock as to how i got here...

 

[SilverFeniks]

I hate my friend so much .. He has made me unwelcome in my own home; to get peace I'm forced to flee, walk the streets, and yes, drink, to get back at him for drinking.

This is destroying my health but I have no will to live under current conditions.
Last nite I was honestly hoping he slipped out to off himself, so I wouldn't have to (he didn't)

I know I need to be patient, but its so hard to just sit still & wait for a couple years to pass .. But until I manage to escape this city, I'll never be sober or in good health

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ SF, you can't let someone else control your life like this!
Is there really no other living alternative you have? Is there no other living alternative HE has?? You need to take control and get yourself out of this situation before it gets worse.

I only just realised i'm an alcoholic I guess not going a day without a drink in from what i can remember for 6 months without at least a bottle of wine is telling... What scared me is when i blacked out for 4 hours while drinking with my best friend and her cradling me for all that time while i cried and just kept on saying i was scared. I don't remember it at ALL but have a bruise on my head and scrape on my arm from when she said i fell. Thank god i was with her! I need to do something about this, am just not sure what and am still wondering and in shock as to how i got here...

Hi trancegirle.

I know the exact feelings of fear and disbelief you are experiencing. I remember when I admitted my drinking problem to myself and my partner a couple of years ago, I couldn't stop thinking "Why me? How did this happen? I never thought it would happen to me" etc. It really creeps up on you doesn't it!

But I guess it can happen to anyone.

The first step (and possibly the hardest step) is to recognise you have a problem, which you have.

The next step is to go and see your doctor and tell them what is happening. They may give you a referral for a psychologist or give you a plan of action. If you don't have a doctor you trust you could start by talking to your best friend or a close family member about it.

Remember, you've made the first step by recognising the problem, it can only go up from here.

Best of luck girl, come back and update us any time

 

[belarki]

Hey belarki, welcome to the thread

Congrats on your second day sober
Best of luck! Feel free to check in here with any updates/struggles/etc.

Thanks Neo. Day 3 and entering uncharted waters lol Though I've aggravated my injury by being a dumbarse & trying to walk on it without crutches... in heaps of pain and grabbing a couple of bottles of vodka after work is sooo sooo tempting. I had insane nightmares and a fever last night too

The first step (and possibly the hardest step) is to recognise you have a problem, which you have.

The next step is to go and see your doctor and tell them what is happening.

Good advice. My problem is the next step after that.... actually desiring to get better. My doctor asked me the other day if I was cognitively aware of the damage I was doing to myself. Yep, all too well I replied.

Hey how do you other Aussies cope in social settings? It's all but impossible to avoid alcohol here, especially around holidays, with family, friends, colleagues. I've found I become extremely self-conscious of drinking with others though and that's when I tend to drink the slowest... Melbourne Cup day and staff Xmas party were hell for me; free booze is like shoving a bucket full of lollies in front of a baby and telling it not to eat any.

 

[claire22]

I have a problem, it is early days but I have realised I definitely do.
I have been drunk everyday for at least three weeks. I am kicking a long-term meth addiction atm & turned to alcohol to sedate me and forget about it. Has backfired, badly.
I have drunk at least 1 - 2 bottles of wine a night.
It is a coping mechanism, but scared that it will turn into something more. I already feel if I do not have a drink that I NEED one. Eeek.
I'm considering a psychologist for my eating issues, substance issues & other problems I have.
Psychologists have never worked well for me. Here's hoping this one does.
How is everyone going?

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ Hun it sounds like you are struggling a bit, and like I've said, please consider seeing a counsellor. There's nothing wrong with getting help, and just because professionals haven't helped you in the past isn't to say they won't help now!
Good on you for recognising the problem *hugs*


As for me, I didn't drink last night. Yay go me
I feel pretty confident I can abstain tonight too.
It's when the week gets towards the end that I really start to struggle...

I had insane nightmares and a fever last night too

Hey how do you other Aussies cope in social settings? It's all but impossible to avoid alcohol here, especially around holidays, with family, friends, colleagues. I've found I become extremely self-conscious of drinking with others though and that's when I tend to drink the slowest... Melbourne Cup day and staff Xmas party were hell for me; free booze is like shoving a bucket full of lollies in front of a baby and telling it not to eat any.

Oh man, every single night I don't drink I sleep about 2 hours in total, in like 20 minute blocks. The rest of the time I spend tossing and turning, waking my partner up to whinge that I can't sleep etc etc. Then when I DO sleep I have sleep paralysis or extremely vivid and confronting dreams.
Not really good incentive to stay sober huh.

As for the social aspect in Australia, ALL my family and friends and workmates drink, a LOT. At every single function, regardless of the circumstances. It's just the fucking Aussie culture!
It does make it very very difficult and it also makes me wonder how many millions of Aussies are struggling with drinking problems too....

 

[claire22]

Baby steps Well done babe.

 

[lady grey]

Hi trancegirle.

I know the exact feelings of fear and disbelief you are experiencing. I remember when I admitted my drinking problem to myself and my partner a couple of years ago, I couldn't stop thinking "Why me? How did this happen? I never thought it would happen to me" etc. It really creeps up on you doesn't it!

But I guess it can happen to anyone.

The first step (and possibly the hardest step) is to recognise you have a problem, which you have.

The next step is to go and see your doctor and tell them what is happening. They may give you a referral for a psychologist or give you a plan of action. If you don't have a doctor you trust you could start by talking to your best friend or a close family member about it.

Remember, you've made the first step by recognising the problem, it can only go up from here.

Best of luck girl, come back and update us any time

Thank you n3o You are a sweetheart, genuinely. It was actually my psychologist who i haven't seen in months that made me see. Before then i was in complete denial. Had a night off the other day but now i have had my one bottle i allowed myself for this evening and need more! It's like i am looking at myself from the outside in, you know? I still can't believe it.

 

[Easko]

I commend all you guys who are quitting. I was a junkie for nine years and an alcoholic for three. The withdrawal is awful, but the life I have without it is better than anything I ever had. I know a lot of people hate on AA, ( I use to as well ) but it has given me more than I could have ever wanted. Keep up the good work.

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ That's so great Easko, it's always really inspiring to hear a success story
Thanks for sharing

Thank you n3o You are a sweetheart, genuinely. It was actually my psychologist who i haven't seen in months that made me see. Before then i was in complete denial. Had a night off the other day but now i have had my one bottle i allowed myself for this evening and need more! It's like i am looking at myself from the outside in, you know? I still can't believe it.

Like claire just said above you, baby steps
That's great you're already seeing a psych, it will hopefully make this easier for you. Stay strong honey

 

[belarki]

Hey nice new avatar n3o,

Day four here. Longest time dry in almost a year Crazy nightmares, night sweats etc again last night. Also find I'm lapsing back into other bad habits, maybe as compensation, which makes me want to hit the bottle even more. Just about out of temazepam and my GP is on holidays for a few weeks... I hate seeing new doctors so might just do without.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hehe thanks belarki

And great work on 4 days! Go you!! The nights will get easier every day.

 

[Mariposa]

Day 8.

Handled going to a restaurant that serves alcohol last night with others drinking at the table and did not drink a drop. I wanted to grab the bottle and run like hell and chug it. But I didn't.

I'm not going to this week's meeting because I don't think I am ready even to listen; may go to next week's.

It may be worth mentioning that I am doing this entirely without medical supervision as I cannot admit to my doctor that I have misused alcohol or she will yank me off the prescriptions which are giving me a semblance of sanity - not to mention that I do not want a diagnosis of dependence on alcohol anywhere in my medical records. In the US this can really come back to bite you for insurance purposes.

At the moment I am feeling extremely negative and depressed. I am fighting the desire to relapse very hard. The best liquor store I have ever been to is literally a block away from my house.

I am getting hives from the stress of all this. I don't feel like talking to anyone, doing anything, eating, sleeping... I did a lot of career stuff today and I didn't drink. Why don't I feel better?

Abstaining from alcohol is giving me close to the same level of problems as drinking it did. I am internalizing my anger and have shut myself off from contact temporarily so that I do not snap at anyone.

I am very grateful for the support of a particular friend (you know who you are).

Now please excuse me while I go bash the shit out of a pillow.

 

[belarki]

Day 8.

Handled going to a restaurant that serves alcohol last night with others drinking at the table and did not drink a drop.

Nice work, strong willpower there!

The best liquor store I have ever been to is literally a block away from my house.

I feel for you. I used to live about 50m from two bottle stores, and still live within a kilometre from about five. I shop around because I feel self conscious turning up at the same one several times a week and getting the knowing "oh here's that guy again" from the staff. Being a regular at a liqour store probably isn't a good thing 8) Haha in the last year I spent more on alcohol than food... and I drink cheap spirits and wine!

 

[Acid Eiffel]

Bah!!!!

 

[myles p]

Hey nice new avatar n3o,

Day four here. Longest time dry in almost a year Crazy nightmares, night sweats etc again last night. Also find I'm lapsing back into other bad habits, maybe as compensation, which makes me want to hit the bottle even more. Just about out of temazepam and my GP is on holidays for a few weeks... I hate seeing new doctors so might just do without.

Hope everyone else is doing well!

The nights will get better mate. I recently kicked, currently on day 10. :D and night 7 was probably the first night I had a normal sleep. Days 1-3 were the worst, then it slowly gets better. The last couple have been good, back to how I used to sleep as a kid. Also try exercising it helped me a ton with the sleep.

Since I quit I have had to deal with some issues that I was drinking to forget about. I went through a really hard breakup in october with the girl I thought was the one. I loved this girl, but university and distance and everything else tore us apart. It was really painful for a while and I pretty much drank myself the time when one is supposed to grieve and move on. It was a pretty bad cycle, I would wake up feeling hungover and upset because of the breakup and because I was hitting the bottle so hard. So to make those feelings go away I would drink... temporary solution to a long term problem.

Since I have stopped I have come to terms and realized it is over, and I am okay. I'm really glad for the time we shared together, and we are once again friends. It took putting the bottle down for me to really get over it.

So fast forward to this week. Last weekend I didn't do much, went to catch a flick (gran torino, wicked film btw.) and I just stayed at home. This friday my friend is throwing a small party and it sounds like a lot of fun. Tons of single girls will be there, and I feel I'm ready to move on and just have some fun with a girl if it happens. Anyway, everyone will be drinking, casually not excessively. Friday will be my 13th day sober, and while I don't want to break the cycle, I have had a fantastic run and I am happy that I have discovered I still have the power to stop.

I'm thinking of buying a 6pack and seeing if it is possible to just have a few and relax. This will be a little bit of a test, to see if I can drink moderatly and enjoy myself. If I fuck up and end up going on a 3 day bender, well then I will have learned that I can't have a glass of wine or two with dinner, and this will be a lifelong struggle.

Maybe I'm just coming up with justification for having a few beers on friday, I'm not sure. But I really would like to go out and socialize while only having a couple...

 

[panic in paradise]

oh god i need help, i blew a .27 the other day after getting stopped(just smelled strongly of alchy), the cop was even surprised at how sober i seemed, i drank maybe 30 beers yesterday, them shakes got so bad i just bought anther case.

it wont last long, i cant sleep, i hate this shit!

 

[harley89]

Its been maybe 3 weeks of drinking hard liquor everyday, after a quite bad addiction to GBL. Its got to the point were i will start drinking the minute i get in from work, which is about half past 10 in the morning. And then continue to drink right until i fall asleep, only to wake up and need a big gulp of whiskey just to get myself back to sleep. It seems that im still getting the shakes from my GBL addiction and this is the only way for them to go away

 

[belarki]

Oh well... didn't quite make it to 5 days. Unexpectedly found myself in possession of 6 bottles of sav blanc and 6 of shiraz. Was too much of a temptation. I guess there's always next week 8)

Hope everyone else is a bit stronger and doing well!