Constructive Attrition

[New]

The breath of death across my nape
Sends comfort
down
my
spine
The knowledge that
none is forever
Scar my actions into flesh
A collective wound that we all
cut
With each
movement that we take
If you and I slice along
each other's advice
And the blood is wiped away
A pulsating
mass
of artistic class
Will heal and congeal our legacy

 

[MynameisnotDeja]

I liked the way this flowed, the way you set up each line, such as how "down my spine" is written one word each line, it was interesting how it effects the pace pf the piece. I liked it.

 

[New]

Thanks...I'm glad you enjoyed my greasing up.

 

[leiphos]

I liked the way this flowed, the way you set up each line, such as how "down my spine" is written one word each line, it was interesting how it effects the pace pf the piece. I liked it.

What I really liked about "down my spine" was that its vertical arrangement made it LOOK like a spine.

Cool poem.