Yunai
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2024
- Messages
- 144
Hey, I use this forum to vent a bit because people on bluelight are really great. I mean this fr fr. I posted on Reddit in the past and got hostile responses 90% of the time, so I ditched that website but on here the vast majority of folks are really kind.
Anyway, in the last 2 years my Halloween‘s been lonely. In 2023 and stuff it was the best time of my life bc I went out with K, my only gf and best friend I ever had, most perfect and beautiful girl in all regards and I still miss her. Today I woke up and seen in our old Whatsapp group they went out and posted a picture (in which K is seen too), I see her, still so beautiful .. but clicked off quickly because it did hit me.. Especially cuz it brings me back to those times when I was still part of that group and not exiled. It‘s all alright though rn bc I took my last few Xans shortly before so my anxiety is suppressed and I feel good. but I‘m afraid of tonight, once the xan effects are gone. I have a very little amount of weed left, bong is gone, vaporizer fully broken, so I can only maybe smoke a joint in the evening, which I fuck up often and lose product.. but I will try. Or possibly… if I have the ingredients I‘ll do edibles. That would be better but idk if I have the ingredients at home as I am currently at my dad‘s place, we‘ll see.
Then for tomorrow I‘ll have 300mg Morphine + 150mg (daily dose) and another 25-50mg that I saved up .. I am all alone tomorrow and no appointments/classes and honestly can‘t wait for it haha. I‘ll boof them (see my post Guide boofing Morphine for reference). I didn‘t up my dose for over a week so if I do it right I will be feeling amazing. Can‘t wait for the warmth and pain relief.
Last thing, I focused on making music again, I do vocals and mix for 10 years now but never released anything but back then when I still had a minimum wage job (early 2023) I saved up some approx. 6000$. 3500 of those I bought my own motorcycle with and with the rest I set up a studio. My audio interface costed about 200-250$. mic was about 700$ and I have 2 really really expensive speakers (both costed 1600$). I wanted to produce some really good songs for so long but never found the time or motivation but as of now I have one song fully written, it just needs to be recorded and mixed and then HOPEFULLY it will sound nice. I don‘t want to be famous, I don‘t care about money, and I also really about strangers listening to it but I DO wish that some of my old friends will listen to it.
Thanks for reading. Will keep you updated.
Anyway, in the last 2 years my Halloween‘s been lonely. In 2023 and stuff it was the best time of my life bc I went out with K, my only gf and best friend I ever had, most perfect and beautiful girl in all regards and I still miss her. Today I woke up and seen in our old Whatsapp group they went out and posted a picture (in which K is seen too), I see her, still so beautiful .. but clicked off quickly because it did hit me.. Especially cuz it brings me back to those times when I was still part of that group and not exiled. It‘s all alright though rn bc I took my last few Xans shortly before so my anxiety is suppressed and I feel good. but I‘m afraid of tonight, once the xan effects are gone. I have a very little amount of weed left, bong is gone, vaporizer fully broken, so I can only maybe smoke a joint in the evening, which I fuck up often and lose product.. but I will try. Or possibly… if I have the ingredients I‘ll do edibles. That would be better but idk if I have the ingredients at home as I am currently at my dad‘s place, we‘ll see.
Then for tomorrow I‘ll have 300mg Morphine + 150mg (daily dose) and another 25-50mg that I saved up .. I am all alone tomorrow and no appointments/classes and honestly can‘t wait for it haha. I‘ll boof them (see my post Guide boofing Morphine for reference). I didn‘t up my dose for over a week so if I do it right I will be feeling amazing. Can‘t wait for the warmth and pain relief.
Last thing, I focused on making music again, I do vocals and mix for 10 years now but never released anything but back then when I still had a minimum wage job (early 2023) I saved up some approx. 6000$. 3500 of those I bought my own motorcycle with and with the rest I set up a studio. My audio interface costed about 200-250$. mic was about 700$ and I have 2 really really expensive speakers (both costed 1600$). I wanted to produce some really good songs for so long but never found the time or motivation but as of now I have one song fully written, it just needs to be recorded and mixed and then HOPEFULLY it will sound nice. I don‘t want to be famous, I don‘t care about money, and I also really about strangers listening to it but I DO wish that some of my old friends will listen to it.
Thanks for reading. Will keep you updated.
Sounds like you might still have some things to look forward to. It sucks not to dress up and go out. I had to threaten my ex boyfriend that I'd go out alone once, it was pathetic, I had a bad Courtney love outfit, I think i woke up in the ER with a saline drip in my arm
? If you feel comfortable sharing of course if not perfectly fine too. All the best. Hope you r doing better now!