Axemancometh
Bluelighter
Psychedelics have been my absolute favourite indulgence for years since I was a teenager. A ton of my personal development has happened in tandem with the exploratory states I was occasionally immersing myself in. Over the past few years however, that has been progressively less and less impactful as I've become much too comfortable under them.
I am so deep in the psychedelics game that I can pretty much get (almost) whatever I want my hands on within two weeks, wherever I am; though now nearly as much as other people I've spoken to online, everyone I meet in real life is always in awe at the amount of familiarity I have with them. This has naturally created it's own issue: The debasement of the psychedelic experience through overindulgence of it's sermon.
I now rarely go more than two weeks without dropping out on something. What was once the sacred sacrament has become a regular ritual in my already freakish personal church. And I do a shit ton - I mean that heroic doses are bars to meet, rather than ceilings to stop at. I can say with a good degree of confidence that I hold one of the records among my generation for most acid consumed in a session. How much? four milligrams dude - and I'm don't mean any microgram nonsense here. How does one even do that? Try fucking up looking where all your liquid L went and then wetting your finger inside the vial; I was hallucinating to some degree for five days straight. Needless to say, The modern 'standard' dose just doesn't do it for me anymore.
On top of that, the experiences I'm having now have become much less positive and more fucked up. Two times now that I swore I was gonna die from the matrix agents from going too hard, many more moments where I thought I was losing it and taking my place along the ranks of Carroll's wonderland freaks. God has caught me eating too many apples from the tree and is shoving me out of his garden!
To tie it all off, it just isn't fun anymore for me. Obviously tripping is still cool, But the CEVs are nowhere near as clear or colourful as they used to be, and I'm not getting any insight anymore. I took a tab and a half the other weekend, and I took shrooms just last night and each time was just a complete disappointment. You can already tell what my problem is by now if you haven't already. I know about the once-every-two-weeks idea; I just never really gave a fuck. I used to want to be a so-called 'guru' when it came to psychedelic experience; now that I am, it's quite lonely at the top of this mountain.
Is this the moment where I give up on my cosmic joureys forever? Hell no. I'm just going to stick them in the filing cabinet for the next thirty days until my equally degenerate friend comes to Canada for the weekend. I'm really digging the other stuff now anyway - I'm taking a big liking to ketamine and more scuzzy drugs like 7-OH and speed, (awesome together btw) most of which I can get away with doing more often anyway. Ideally in the future I'll make psychedelics a rare occurance in my life, as I still value its power greatly. I am just changing my technicolour raincoat for a gross jean jacket.
À tantôt, esprit hippie.
I am so deep in the psychedelics game that I can pretty much get (almost) whatever I want my hands on within two weeks, wherever I am; though now nearly as much as other people I've spoken to online, everyone I meet in real life is always in awe at the amount of familiarity I have with them. This has naturally created it's own issue: The debasement of the psychedelic experience through overindulgence of it's sermon.
I now rarely go more than two weeks without dropping out on something. What was once the sacred sacrament has become a regular ritual in my already freakish personal church. And I do a shit ton - I mean that heroic doses are bars to meet, rather than ceilings to stop at. I can say with a good degree of confidence that I hold one of the records among my generation for most acid consumed in a session. How much? four milligrams dude - and I'm don't mean any microgram nonsense here. How does one even do that? Try fucking up looking where all your liquid L went and then wetting your finger inside the vial; I was hallucinating to some degree for five days straight. Needless to say, The modern 'standard' dose just doesn't do it for me anymore.
On top of that, the experiences I'm having now have become much less positive and more fucked up. Two times now that I swore I was gonna die from the matrix agents from going too hard, many more moments where I thought I was losing it and taking my place along the ranks of Carroll's wonderland freaks. God has caught me eating too many apples from the tree and is shoving me out of his garden!
To tie it all off, it just isn't fun anymore for me. Obviously tripping is still cool, But the CEVs are nowhere near as clear or colourful as they used to be, and I'm not getting any insight anymore. I took a tab and a half the other weekend, and I took shrooms just last night and each time was just a complete disappointment. You can already tell what my problem is by now if you haven't already. I know about the once-every-two-weeks idea; I just never really gave a fuck. I used to want to be a so-called 'guru' when it came to psychedelic experience; now that I am, it's quite lonely at the top of this mountain.
Is this the moment where I give up on my cosmic joureys forever? Hell no. I'm just going to stick them in the filing cabinet for the next thirty days until my equally degenerate friend comes to Canada for the weekend. I'm really digging the other stuff now anyway - I'm taking a big liking to ketamine and more scuzzy drugs like 7-OH and speed, (awesome together btw) most of which I can get away with doing more often anyway. Ideally in the future I'll make psychedelics a rare occurance in my life, as I still value its power greatly. I am just changing my technicolour raincoat for a gross jean jacket.
À tantôt, esprit hippie.
