Opioids Will quickly taper off my substitution.

[Yunai]

This is not a question just a vent. 2 days ago I got a huge ton of xans. And decided to use it for something good (Xans help so much for opiate withdrawals in my case) now. I am for over 2 years on opiate substitution, 2 years without ever feeling the warmth. It’s time I get fully sober from opiates now.
I am already on a low dose but the last steps are the hardest. 3 days ago I cut my dosage in half. My goal would be 50-60 days completely off.

I am honestly sick and tired of it. Don’t get me wrong it helped me so much. I just feel like it’s time to quits now. I wanted to get off for a year now which bothers me.
My plan tomorrow half. Then half it again. Something like that.

My life rn is pretty miserable. I feel like sht. Mentally. I had some minor s-cidial thoughts after a long time again. The next times will be hard but I gotta persist and pull through. I could cry.

 

[Dextro .45]

Withdrawal depression is INSAINE …..Id contemplate eating a full metal jacket to end the suffering…but if it came to that I’d just walk into any pharmacy and take what I needed

It’s horrid. I find Clonidine 0.1mg tablets with Pregabalin or Gabapentin help….perhaps with Bupropion to increase energy, low dopamine boost etc, all meds a walk in clinic would script me if asked a particular way

But ya…..dreaming all day, every minute of having 3-5 Valiums, a potent Opioid narcotic with an equally euphoric stimulant Ritalin/Dexedrine and all the suffering ends in 30min entering euphoric cocktail heaven, Oh yeah

Perhaps if u had a longer acting benzodiazepine like Diazepam or a RC Benzo like Diclazepam……Pregabalin is also used to reduce Benzo use or taper off….Gabapentin would even suffice. You would be able to get a script for Gabapentin 300mg and Clonidine 0.1mg for tapering if doc was reasonable and you told them you ceased short acting Alprazolam and you’re interesting in any meds to keep you from taking more

 

[Yunai]

Withdrawal depression is INSAINE …..Id contemplate eating a full metal jacket to end the suffering…but if it came to that I’d just walk into any pharmacy and take what I needed

It’s horrid. I find Clonidine 0.1mg tablets with Pregabalin or Gabapentin help….perhaps with Bupropion to increase energy, low dopamine boost etc, all meds a walk in clinic would script me if asked a particular way

But ya…..dreaming all day, every minute of having 3-5 Valiums, a potent Opioid narcotic with an equally euphoric stimulant Ritalin/Dexedrine and all the suffering ends in 30min entering euphoric cocktail heaven, Oh yeah

Perhaps if u had a longer acting benzodiazepine like Diazepam or a RC Benzo like Diclazepam……Pregabalin is also used to reduce Benzo use or taper off….Gabapentin would even suffice. You would be able to get a script for Gabapentin 300mg and Clonidine 0.1mg for tapering if doc was reasonable and you told them you ceased short acting Alprazolam and you’re interesting in any meds to keep you from taking more

When WD hits the depression that you originally tried to medicate away with drugs comes back like a boomerang with 10x the force. I am not dependent on Xans since I always take 1-2 week breaks. Xans ain‘t the issue.

Man I‘ma be fr fr. I lowkey miss the feeling when I had no opiate tolerant. the warmth. The bliss. The euphoria. It‘s all gone since I am on a substitute that has a 24 hour extended release mechanism.
I am not primarily quitting to get high again. I am just tired of having to go to appointments, pharmacies, etc. I been almost 3 year on Rock Bottom now I do not even know how it feel completely clean. With that I mean no substitute opiate, no xans, no weed. Nothing. I wanna try out. If life again punch me bad I might just start all over again. Thinking about it truly, sucks to say this but I‘d do anything for that FIRST rush again when I boofed clean (unlaced) Morphine.

 

[Yunai]

Well the xans are gone. Next few days will be HORROR. I may have a few left to battle the withdrawals but on Tuesday I will call a certain doctor. Telling him I lost my xan package (which btw is true) - i took out 2 blisters. I cleaned my whole room couldn‘t find the remaining 3 one). I have to call tuesday. Only day possible. They are always nice and if they give me a receipt for a new package I might be able to be off opiates within 4 weeks max.
I can‘t wait.
I can‘t wait.


Mental health currently is very low

Plan B is wait for Thursday. My mum gets a xan package. I could stop reducing. Wait. Then do the rest. In that case I won‘t be down to 0 more like 25mg. Last steps are the hardest.
Again, my me tal health is spiraling. Visiting a friend now. Depending on how the conversation goes…… well see