Mental Health Have I gone insane?

billyj

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 28, 2019
Messages
109
Every time I use meth, eventually I end up in complete psychosis: the neighbours are all outside my window waiting on the police they have called (I have never met these people by the way but during the episode know their names, their back stories etc). I have heard them come in and out through the back gate, which on checking the next morning is locked and bolted from my side and there’s no other way in to the premises (I live in a free standing house). I have pretty much the same persecution narrative every time I take it which is about twice a year. But even months afterwards and completely sober I still think people are listening to everything I do in my house, and that my work colleagues have lines of sight into my toilet etc and watch me there. I could go on. Generally I am not feeling watched and not hearing voices, but on meth absolutely and it is 100% convincing and lingers for many weeks. Even months later though I do still presume that I’m being watched in some way, but only when masturbating or going to the toilet.
 
Every time I use meth
... i go crazy. (paraphrased)

yes this happens. meth (and anything we consume) changes our brain chemistry, body chemistry and what becomes important (think focus).

i would suggest we all do a little objective research regarding any/all things we consume to be a more informed community. there is too much for me to walk through this but maybe look up what meth actually does to the brain and although it may make sense this does not equate to the ability to reason ones way out of the loop.

any underlying mental conditions? physical?

🫂
 
... i go crazy. (paraphrased)

yes this happens. meth (and anything we consume) changes our brain chemistry, body chemistry and what becomes important (think focus).

i would suggest we all do a little objective research regarding any/all things we consume to be a more informed community. there is too much for me to walk through this but maybe look up what meth actually does to the brain and although it may make sense this does not equate to the ability to reason ones way out of the loop.

any underlying mental conditions? physical?

🫂
I understand the science of it I was just looking for feedback that such realistic (mundane) psychosis is to be expected? I don’t see severed heads and have conversations with light bulbs, I hear real people as clear as day having pronged conversations that sound realistic “this has gone on for hours and the police are still not here” etc. it’s terrifying partly as I live in Thailand and the consequences are dire. Actual conversations (at 4am outside my bedroom window) or all in my head due to brain chemistry haywire?
 
Not a doctor or professional in any way, however, keep track of your thoughts and assumptions, there may be a pattern.
I am generally quite paranoid even when completely sober. As in presuming the neighbours are listening to me watch TV on a regular Wednesday night.
 
Oh. Yeah, I never went further than sound paranoia. The neighbors never stopped blaming me for my boyfriend beating me though so that was always nice
 
... i go crazy. (paraphrased)

yes this happens. meth (and anything we consume) changes our brain chemistry, body chemistry and what becomes important (think focus).

i would suggest we all do a little objective research regarding any/all things we consume to be a more informed community. there is too much for me to walk through this but maybe look up what meth actually does to the brain and although it may make sense this does not equate to the ability to reason ones way out of the loop.

any underlying mental conditions? physical?

🫂
I wouldn’t say anything concrete, I tend to be quite paranoid at the best of times when I’m stone cold sober. OCD. Maybe a bit ADD.
 
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