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๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ Social ๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒŸ How High Are You? V. The Height of Sophistication

not much
*norm for lunch

3g kratom
.2mg bnz
900mg gabap
~20mg thc flower eaten
half a fatty ignited

do i trip today...? ๐Ÿค”

so... so far just feeling *life which turns out may not be such a bad thing..... idk
kinda high on different levels and it synergizes well lol
 
Feeling pretty hungover. I'm in my mid thirties and my body just cannot handle alcohol like it used to. I drank a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc (750ml), 2 pints of Heineken and one random glass of wine someone bought me yesterday. 18 year old me would just smoke a spliff, eat a big breakfast and would be functioning at close to 100%. Not so these days.

I'm not feeling particularly high, but I did take 400mg Pregabalin, 15g Muang Dang Kratom Leaf, 7mg Diazepam and smoked a cigarette. Do I feel high? Not really. Has it helped eliminate my hangxiety and general malaise? Yup.
 
That seems my observation to ... drugs take the edge of the hangover whatever its cause live or a bad Alcohol combo. Heineken + Sauvignon. Is risky

Gladiator 500ml. 10%, that a beer that kicks in the mouth taking a sip
Weed Tropical Haze following it edit : to kick start a bit of munchys
Dextro-Amphetamine last dose edit 2: not making promises on that. but nrg needed
Kratom after that as it seems to nauseate durin this heatwave.
 
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They are now selling these things called "Baller brushes" (anyone else familiar?) its like liquid live resin (or distilate) than works kind of like lipstick, you turn the bottom a bit and liquid live resin gets on the brush thing and when you paint the paper and roll the joint you can see the pot inside clearly....(They also suggest eating it but seems wasteful, must come in thc not thc/a form)
If it's distillate then this would absolutely be best absorbed (and most potent per mg) when orally administered. I've never heard of a baller brush but we used to brush concentrates onto things, play with rolled up spaghetti-diameter strings of shatter in blunts, all that. I imagine that these "baller brushes" are dispensaries finding a new way to package the same old disty for a higher price using brush containers that they're likely purchasing by the pallet from overseas suppliers.
Been rolling joints of that with like 50mgs live resin painted on the paper (Yea I weighed the paper afterwords to get a rough idea of how long 2g will last) than kief sprinkled on that so it sticks --- than pot of course, with about 100mgs of normal live resin thrown in.
Do you notice irregular rates of pyrolysis here? The reason I stopped playing with parfait rolls like this is that kief, flower, super loose (or problematically dry) shake, and different forms of concentrates all take varying amounts of time to burn, and inevitably once the structural integrity of the joint/blunt/whatever bullshit we happened to be puffing on was burnt down enough, even still usable kief and concentrates would fall in with the ash that blew away in the wind. If you're going to play with things like this, my personal experiences indicate that dissolving concentrates super thoroughly with a heat gun or a heated water bath in everclear, then infusing that everclear into something smokeable that you then dry out, is the most ideal way to infuse concentrates into flower. I also find that mixing flower and kief as well as possible helps them to burn at similar-enough paces to one another, it's like powder mixing for pressing pills though, there's virtually never too much mixing, only too little.

OT: 5mg Buspirone, 75mg bupropion XR, 200mg caffeine, 10mg cyclobenzaprine, then 7.5mg of intranasal methamphetamine broken up over the last 9 hours or so. Got a half pound of flower in today, and that shit absolutely slaps. My supplier forgot to bill me for it though so I've got to reach out to the homie and see how he wants that money moved bc he's getting paid whether he realizes he didn't bill me or not hahaha.
 
I've been taking acid on all my days off since I ran out of ketamine. Friday I did a candyflip with 1400ug and a couple hundred mg of mdma (spread over a couple doses) and a couple hundred mg of 2cb (spread over a couple of doses). Today we've had 2mg lsd, 100mg 2cb, all the weed and a few dexies. Took the acid around 6 hours ago and now just swallowed 100mg of 4-aco-dmt and 10mg of diazepam to keep things chill. gonna vape someweed and see how that hits then have a few bumps of mdma. I've got a little bit of dmt left so i guess I'll vape some that too how see how shroomy we can get after all that acid.

Party on Garth. Drugs are great.
 
Added another 100mg 4-aco-dmt and 70mg of 4-ho-met. Wondering what else I might have that could be fun to add in
At what point do you just call your tolerance high enough at the moment to be wasteful? Genuinely curious bc I know you also go heavy duty with psychs like I do, and few people in this space ever explore the nature of tolerance.
 
100mg Tram
10mg Diaz
25mg prometh
900mg gaba so far
3 joints 2 sativa 1 indica
Black Tea

did enough k yesterday
 
One of my friends acquired some supposedly "Czech" meth and fuck me it's very strong! I haven't vomited from a shot in ages and added to that usually the spew is followed by significant anxiety and stress but this was just a potent shot of very clean methamphetamine and I feel pretty freaking good right now. Especially after wasting my money on shit heroin this morning. He also threw me some legit Alprazolam which is basically impossible to do in my country(all of the black market Xanax is not Xanax but one or often a mix of all of the newer RC benzos which I refused to acknowledge but in reality are not as good as the real deal. I miss when fake Xanax was just Etizolam which is pretty good but now it's often Clonazolam, Flualprazolam or whatever else which are all soooo bad!!! They feel crappier, they black you out so much worse, they make me aggressive more frequently and they just suck. It had been so long since I actually had Alprazolam that I didnt really notice how different it is but it's for sure different!

I still have a shot of meth left, I got benzos, got some potent, real heroin and a bottle of methadone for when my stash is gone so I'm pretty happy. Only thing is like is some weed which I very rarely smoke but I think I need to get some coz it's gonna be lovely tomorrow morning when I go from up to down and hopefully have a beautiful sedated day of quality Downers that I feel I need to cherish and be grateful of as it's not often that I get to feel the effects of potent, real stuff. Sure I use average to fairly strong heroin and have all those other benzos and OK meth occasionally but it's been so long since I had quality EVERYTHING that I knew without a doubt was exactly what it was supposed to be.
The drug gods have been kind to me on this day!
 
I just concluded my evening of IV'ing ridiculously pure and intense meth and Small amounts of valium and Xanax. And just then I IV'd 0.15g of heroin straight off the kilo block and I feel wonderful.
I know it's that pure as there is part of the "Double Lion" stamp visible on my friends half Oz and Double Lion is infamous in Australia as being by far the best heroin you can get here. And it's true. Nothing compares but also using it for a few days gives incomparably rough wd's.

I just asked him if he'd lend me another deal and 2 points of coke. Enough to have a tester to determine how much coke would be perfect for the speedball, im thinking 80mg and 1.5 points of H. Maybe 2mg of Xanax to be sure my body doesn't flip out from the coke.

I might promise myself this will be the last time I ever shoot coke. I say that with honesty, commitment and actually quite some deep emotion as I know it terrible for you yet I have done it too much and I want to live in a healthy way without such drastic risks and I'm essentially choosing to play literal Russian Roulette and I don't want to allow these risks into my life anymore. So it will be quite a meaningful and significant event.
I've been blessed with quality drugs of my favourite variety and I think I owe something to whatever made this happen. And I think taking a vow to promise cocaine will never again be shot up ever, ever again! I deserve to be healthy, I deserve to not have to deal with the thought that this might kill me, and I deserve to live and thrive even though I've been overwhelmingly suicidal for months on end. I've been struggling tremendously with the breakdown of my partnership with my soulmate and the absolute live of my life. The man who I owe so much to. The man taught me how to truely love and he's gone because of my excessive and wreck less drug use.
So maybe I'll make this the first of a few last hurrah's.
Maybe IV meth next. If I use it for ADHD I think shelving or oral is the way to go.
Also making myself a homemade guacamole and cheese quesadilla. Honestly one of the best tasting things I've ever made. These things are so so tasty but when I had the first shot of meth I totally emptied my stomach involuntarily. So I need some sustenance and goodness in my body.
 
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And I think taking a vow to promise cocaine will never again be shot up ever, ever again!

Sounds like a good starting plan. What more is there to it?

I deserve to be healthy, I deserve to not have to deal with the thought that this might kill me, and I deserve to live and thrive

Yes absolutely you do
 
Sounds like a good starting plan. What more is there to it?



Yes absolutely you do
I'm actually enjoying the fuck out of this quesadilla!!!
Strangely I hated avocado before about 1.5 weeks ago. Now i have a considerable habit!!
But yeah I'm 35, I'm beginning to feel like a bit of a loser chasing this shit at my age. Like, there are other things that should be on my mind. Non drug related things. Being a heroin addict is one thing but having speedballs just because I can and want to, alone, on a Wednesday night. Now seems a bit of a loser thing to prioritise. It's quality coke and quality heroin so in a way I know it's less likely bad things(aside from overdose) might happen.

I've really struggled to get a proper, intense rush from coke. I have experienced it but in shitty circumstances and not quite memorable. One of them was in court waiting to get sentenced and that was my way of coping. Also a bag of coke I threw out the rest of as it was SO STRONG I felt it was going to kill me.
This will be a simple, at home, on my bed, doses measured with scales, and actually going to try to make my mix as close to the perfect speedball as I can.
I want it to be equal. Strong coke rush with an equal amount of heroin. So I go straight into nod land instead of having the coke so strong the H ends up useless.
At least my belly is full now, I've had hydration and vitamins. I need to wait until the meth is completely gone through which is fine.
I'm proud of how well I treat my mind and body now. I used to be so careless. Now I feel a real difference and the benefits are so noticeable.
Omega-3, L-Theanine, mens multi and Magnesium. Plus Panadol(acetaminophen) for the comedown is really some hoky water shit that without a single doubt makes my mood, how my body organs function and I'm sure much more.
I used to be so careless and in denial that any of this affected my body in any bad way but for sure, some self care and even just the intention and thought of it will do some good to my body.
Omega-3 noticeably makes my ADHD less of an issue and makes my mood for sure happier and I'm able to think quicker and with more depth, Magnesium makes my muscles thank me on such a noticeable and almost prescription drug level. If I'm in heroin wds they mostly take away the leg aches completely which is a miracle as that's really the only thing I cannot cope with to the level of being unbearable. The L-Theanine is new, but it heals damage from dopaminergic drugs that make it hard for brain to make dopamine on its own. I had something similar. L-Methylfolate I think and that worked great. This is different. But they all do something pretty significant and are all worthy of being in my stack. And I'm worthy of at least trying to heal my brain.

If you do things that have been proven to minimise damage and are keeping you healthy, alive, young, etc I have tremendous respect for you. I just deteriorated for such a stupidly long time and just allowed it to progress and embarrassingly, I didnt really care.
Now I care so deeply and would never allow myself or company in my home to indulge in any chems that deplete body parts without them agreeing to replenish the system with the necessary supplements.
And I do feel the difference. It's not bullshit. It works.

It's expensive it would want toiii
 
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I'm actually enjoying the fuck out of this quesadilla!!!

Fuck yeah.


And yeah @the_ketaman I understand how trying to find the perfect combo / perfect feeling can be so addicting in itself. I had that glamour with finding meth and coke, and it actually still persists in sobriety - I do some extremely dangerous road driving ๐Ÿ™„ I need to stop, it's becoming a problem because I'm using driving fast as an emotional outlet.

Any way, enjoying the moment with food is absolutely a valid "plan" - I appreciate you being real about it. Staying healthy with omegas n stuff, all the more power to you, I don't know much about food chemistry
 
I love to see how healthy I can stay while still using very significant amount of IV drugs.
People comment often how have I been able to stay fairly sane while using meth dmfor close to 20 years. People out here lose their mind in a couple years. I'm very lucky I think. I mean I've lost my mind for sure, but I keep it contained and private. It hurts me seeing ppl clearly mentally unwell and not getting help.

I have this thing where I "treasure hunt" if im awake too long, on benzos and whatever. I become convinced I've lost something and begin to search my immediate surroundings for whatever I've lost. Usually I dig up a public garden. I never find anything. But I'm so lucky I had a partner who let me get it out of my system, never left out of embarrassment. Rather stayed to ensure I remained safe. And is dig up a garden for 2-3 hours till I got sick of it or became aware of what I was doing. Then we'd go home, is shower and my partner would hug me telling me it's ok coz is be apologizing. Surely it's embarrassing!
I'm so completely convinced in my mind that I will find whatever.

I feel so bad for the situations I put that man through. He usually had zero understanding of the method behind the madness but still stood by me, kept me safe and didnt embarrass me further. Only made me feel that that's what we do on drugs, and if you find yourself doing these things, I'll never leave your side because I looked after him a lot in other ways. He had chrohns disease, was illiterate, had severe PTSD from his childhood and deserved every since bit of support I gave him as he's a walking miracle and truly the most incredible human I've encountered in my life.
He left me because of my instability, my tendency to lose it which with PTSD was scary for him, my horrible trait of putting drugs before people including myself. And just the amount of chances I was given and while I slowly changed, I didnt change enough and he did something I respect so much. Putting his welfare and wellbeing first and leaving to put his safety and happiness first. He is a complex man, but by far the most insanely special human alive. The love I was given by that man far surpasses almost all the love from all people in my life that I've received ever. And his love is just different. More true, gives me a much better feeling, I actually. His love is more potent than any kind of emotion that I've encountered. And he means it and it's so real! His kisses and hugs were literally something I could live off of. I felt every bit of meaning behind every kiss and hug. And I lost him because I was unable to stop using heroin. I was unable to put him before drugs which absolutely disgusts me now. It makes me feel like a downright bad and just not good person at all. I am absolutely aware that my values, morals, choices and how I let things turn out are a serious issue for me and until that stuff is addressed my life will always be horribly full of trauma and me hurting innocent people. Nobody deserves what he has been through and what I've put him through. He deserves nothing and no-one but the best of the best who can give him the life he's fully deserving of. He's had enough suffering and fear. I just want him to have peace, happiness, zero conflict, to be loved more than he gives, and be loved so that he feels what it's like to be someone's most treasured and cherished part of their life.
He is a special man. So very special and he is up for his turn. Unconditional love for life. I hope he comes back to me oneda to let me give him what he's entitled to. Unconditional, verydsmmmmmmmmmmk
 
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What's your fucking point? "You're the most functioning user ever"...judging by your post, you're as deluded as everyone whose iterated similar sentiment, down through the years.๐Ÿค” You seem like a nice charachter but will never actualised that; as you're caught-up in mental-masturbation. Unfortunately.
 
No I totally agree, my point was likely never in existence. I'm just caught up in distracting myself from losing my soul mate and talking shit seems to detract from the pain.
Btw I was high as a kite here. I don't even know what I'm trying to say half of the time but I've made it sound a lot worse than it was.
We were engaged, I took very good care of him. There wasn't a night I didnt cook him dinner in almost 4 years unless we are out.
The man was very sheltered, had been told he was ugly which doesn't compute for me as I think he was incredibly handsome and sexy. It sounds like I was a cunt but actually he got arrested for hitting me with a massage stick pretty bad. I never once hit him. The "treasure hunting" was me in psychosis and him not in psychosis hence the sticking by me and not choosing to shame me. And since I've come to realise that he actually has totally contributed to the breakdown of our relationship as much as me. It sounds like I was an asshole and he was perfect but actually..... Fuck it I'm not going to continue explaining. It was a stupid, meth/benzo dribble of a post and I actually don't care to make it more understandable because a. I barely understand it and I don't actually care.
 
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