Cocaine doing coke alone

[g0thedout]

Thank you bro I really appreciate your help and advice. I've spoken to the other prescriber this afternoon on the phone. She's dropping me to 4mg and giving me a 2 week period to stabilise. After that she said it's up to me how quickly I come down on my dosage. My plan is to drop to 2mg after those 2 weeks,then come down by point 4 until I'm off the subs. They tried talking me I to starting this new injection called Buvidol but I said I'm happy on the oral dispersible tablets. The Buvidol sounds like a game changer, but I'm only going to be on 4mg subs so I don't see the point in switching to it.

The new prescriber has also insisted I take part in a weekly relapse prevention course as part of my treatment. If I don't turn up to the course my script gets stopped. I don't know why they've started playing games when I'm on my way to getting off the subutex. I've been reducing perfectly fine, then my counsellor and the first prescriber decide to fuck with my script because of my coke usage. I know people on bupe who smoke crack daily, and I'm sure many people on bupe use coke. This has just been a head fuck to be honest. They've played games then decided to put me back on the same path I was on anyway. I told the new prescriber today that I'm not a recreational coke user, I'm an addict trying to keep my usage down. She doesn't believe I'm only using low amounts of coke. Anyway my subs will be sorted Monday. Oh, I've got to be regularly drugs tested. I've told them what I'll always test positive for. I'm not lying to them I want their help.

no worries at all bro, I just hope my stupid amount of experience with subs can help someone. oh thats cool Buvidol they call it Sublocade in Canada. the intracutaneous injection of the bolus of buprenorphine they inject in your stomach fat? yes it is a game changer. actually I didnt mention it but yes sublocade is the best step down to opioid free from fent for me personally. for me 1 single 300mg shot of sublocade lasts in my system for 12 MONTHS. but then it just wears off so gradually I don't even notice. never get sick or have to worry about taking the pills/strips everyday. You dont even need to be dopesick before you get it either. no precipitated withdrawal at all. I have literally gotten my 300mg shot 10 minutes after smoking dope and never got sick at all just a totally smooth transition hours later. its a miracle drug for for sure but specifically for fent becasue it means you cannot overdose if you try honestly it would be hard anyway. also means you won't get shit out of any dope you use for a probably at least a couple months after the last shot so it kinda forces you to stay off it. but like I said 12 months I tested positive for it in my system after I got total of two 300mg shots over a couple months. so yeah maybe try it out man its really mild actually like does all the work for you a few months after the shot you'll stop getting as bad side effects and it just becomes background.

I didn't mention it to you because I figured you prolly might wanna just get off the Suboxone more rapidly lowering your dose like the way that you said. if Buvidol is the same formulation as Sublocade. without looking it up I bet its similar enough anyway that 12 months it will be in your system but after a few you won't even notice. so if you don't plan on fucking around with opioids anymore might not be a bad idea and actually in my experience with myself and seeing other opioid users who got it, it is honestly the highest rate of just abstinent. like after ~5 months after the shot I just didn't even care at all if I ever used dope again but before that I kept thinking "damn ill prolly just use it again anyway" but that feeling just went away for me.

idk why they treated you like that here where I am they have a really developed opioid program that doesn't play those games. except I had one of the dozen doctors I speak to its different every time tell me that he sees that I have never once tested positive for opioids in my system like they were recording me regularly as negative for opioids on tests I didn't even know I had to take. so do I even need Suboxone? lol. ive never gone in for a piss test and im not gonna go in for the one he ordered just because im actually kind of insulted at this point. but here I know they wont jerk me around like your office and they expect meth or coke use anyway unlike like they did with whatever shit you're working with. you're right its pretty much standard lol

 

[g0thedout]

Thank you bro I really appreciate your help and advice. I've spoken to the other prescriber this afternoon on the phone. She's dropping me to 4mg and giving me a 2 week period to stabilise. After that she said it's up to me how quickly I come down on my dosage. My plan is to drop to 2mg after those 2 weeks,then come down by point 4 until I'm off the subs. They tried talking me I to starting this new injection called Buvidol but I said I'm happy on the oral dispersible tablets. The Buvidol sounds like a game changer, but I'm only going to be on 4mg subs so I don't see the point in switching to it.

The new prescriber has also insisted I take part in a weekly relapse prevention course as part of my treatment. If I don't turn up to the course my script gets stopped. I don't know why they've started playing games when I'm on my way to getting off the subutex. I've been reducing perfectly fine, then my counsellor and the first prescriber decide to fuck with my script because of my coke usage. I know people on bupe who smoke crack daily, and I'm sure many people on bupe use coke. This has just been a head fuck to be honest. They've played games then decided to put me back on the same path I was on anyway. I told the new prescriber today that I'm not a recreational coke user, I'm an addict trying to keep my usage down. She doesn't believe I'm only using low amounts of coke. Anyway my subs will be sorted Monday. Oh, I've got to be regularly drugs tested. I've told them what I'll always test positive for. I'm not lying to them I want their help.

I did look buvidol up quickly to see if its any different from sublocade and from 10 secs of reading it seems like one difference is they can actually set it up to be a weekly shot or a monthly shot while sublocade is afaik just a monthly shot of either 300mg or 100mg. but ive had docs suggest to me taking a 300mg shot of sublocade every 2 weeks which seemed excessive to me so I didnt do it that way. actually even though it was a monthly script I only got a 300mg shot like once every several months like there was 2 or 3 months between two shots because I just personally wanted more space so I didnt have too much bupe. and still I never got sick in those months in between shots. I read the sublocade pamphlet back then and it does say in there that it will last for up to 12 months. Buvidol is even better sounding with weekly shots giving you way more control. so maybe it doesn't stay for anywhere near as long as 12 months with a weekly shot of that?

 

[jessepinkman779]

I did look buvidol up quickly to see if its any different from sublocade and from 10 secs of reading it seems like one difference is they can actually set it up to be a weekly shot or a monthly shot while sublocade is afaik just a monthly shot of either 300mg or 100mg. but ive had docs suggest to me taking a 300mg shot of sublocade every 2 weeks which seemed excessive to me so I didnt do it that way. actually even though it was a monthly script I only got a 300mg shot like once every several months like there was 2 or 3 months between two shots because I just personally wanted more space so I didnt have too much bupe. and still I never got sick in those months in between shots. I read the sublocade pamphlet back then and it does say in there that it will last for up to 12 months. Buvidol is even better sounding with weekly shots giving you way more control. so maybe it doesn't stay for anywhere near as long as 12 months with a weekly shot of that?

Thank you so much for all your help and advice I can't thank you enough. I started on the Dihydrocodeine today, but only until Monday when I get back on my bupe. I did forget how nice Dihydrocodeine was. Today, I've mixed Dihydrocodeine with coke, then my mate popped round who likes crack so I had a go on the pipe too. I know that's dangerous but I felt amazing. However, I can definitely see how easily it would be to get hooked on crack. I've only done it a few times in my life, but I'm one of those people where if a drug is on offer I'll more than likely try it.

Your help with the bupe is genuinely appreciated, thank you.

 

[jessepinkman779]

Well, my usage has crept up a bit. I've had half a gram a day every day last week and today. But I'll reel it back in. To be honest I use to do half a gram in a line so it's still manageable but crept up.

 

[Passable_rock]

Well, my usage has crept up a bit. I've had half a gram a day every day last week and today. But I'll reel it back in. To be honest I use to do half a gram in a line so it's still manageable but crept up.

half a gram in one line! That's massive, that's alot of powder for one nostril Do you work? What do you usually do with your days? I'm just being curious.

 

[jessepinkman779]

half a gram in one line! That's massive, that's alot of powder for one nostril Do you work? What do you usually do with your days? I'm just being curious.

Very true. I'm now in full blown bupe withdrawal and working my way through a quarter of an Oz. I started with half a gram earlier, but that didn't last long. Then my dealer got new stuff in so he messaged me to let me know. He told me he wouldn't be around tonight I think that's why I ordered the Q. I've invited a friend round to actually share it with me today though so I won't do the Q alone. I could step on this Q and turn it into half Oz the strength and quality is there. I just think doing that is a waste. Every dealer my dealer sells to definitely step on it and they still make a killing. My man told me to be careful with this new stuff, then it the same breath told me he'd bought it in bulk without getting anyone to try it first so could I tell him what I think. I've just told him it's 10/10 as usual. Then he wanted details like how does it crush up etc. I said FFS I'm trying to enjoy myself.

I honestly think moving to a new area might be a good choice for me to get off it. My dealer is never going to leave me alone we're too close. He was limiting me, and TBF he did say I'm having no more this weekend. It's pointless getting it off anyone else because it's his stuff stepped on. I've been attending NA meetings on zoom, but that just makes me crave it more. Maybe I'm a life long user, maybe it'll be the end of me, but I'll fight it. The stuff I get never, ever blocks my nose either so that makes it even easier to carry on. I don't know if I want to stop for me or for my family and friends. A friend of mine said just use it weekends and that's a massive start.

I read an article in the week stating coke is safer than alcohol. I don't know how true that is and I very rarely drink anyway I prefer just coke alone. I've just got to take this a day at a time. I look back and I just didn't realise I was addicted for a good 2 years, I thought I could stop easily until I tried. It's a love/Hate relationship. There's only so much advice people can give me isn't there. I did coke in my 20's but I never had enough money to get addicted back then it was weekends only and even then it was small amounts. This drug has so much power over me now and I handed it all that power on a plate.

I'm not giving up trying I just need to workout who I want to stop for. If it's for others I don't think it will work. My drug councillor said cut down a bit at a time, but I'm all or nothing and I'm erratic.

 

[jessepinkman779]

half a gram in one line! That's massive, that's alot of powder for one nostril Do you work? What do you usually do with your days? I'm just being curious.

I trade cryptocurrency as well as stocks. That's my other problem I've got too much time on my hands and access to money constantly. I spend most my days and nights watching the markets, but when I'm on coke I just don't care about trading cryptocurrency or anything else. I walk my dog 3 times per day, exercise and that's about it. My friends get frustrated because at times I spend what they make in wages on coke and they think I don't really work but I pay tax and I pay my own way in life.

 

[jessepinkman779]

I wish I could talk to my friends and family the way I can talk on here I've tried but they don't want to listen because to them I'm just an addict they seem to have forgotten I'm still me too. My one friend is very understanding and listens. I'm surrounded by people who drink alcohol and smoke weed daily and they still can't see the hypocrisy of telling me to stop coke. When I say they drink I mean heavily. They've even said why don't you start having a few beers every day or have some weed. Tbh I'd rather lick my own arse than do either. My uncle who I'm close to actually tried a couple of lines and said I see why you do it now. Then, a week later started going on at me again. However, I've put myself in this lonely place. I just think it's a joke how we have to conform or be an outcast to even the people closest to us.

 

[krickett]

I moved to a new state & I'm currently withdrawaling off Subutex because it's been a pain in the ass finding a doctor in CO.
Usually I have coke but I don't know anyone yet.. but it distracts me from the withdrawals. I know it's strange but I've been on subs for 3 years.
I don't know if they'll trip on me for the weed in my system & not prescribe my subs is why I've been putting off the visit & rationing what subs I had.
Idk why I'm writing this I'm just trying to distract myself as best I can from feeling like ass

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I wish I could talk to my friends and family the way I can talk on here I've tried but they don't want to listen because to them I'm just an addict they seem to have forgotten I'm still me too. My one friend is very understanding and listens. I'm surrounded by people who drink alcohol and smoke weed daily and they still can't see the hypocrisy of telling me to stop coke. When I say they drink I mean heavily. They've even said why don't you start having a few beers every day or have some weed. Tbh I'd rather lick my own arse than do either. My uncle who I'm close to actually tried a couple of lines and said I see why you do it now. Then, a week later started going on at me again. However, I've put myself in this lonely place. I just think it's a joke how we have to conform or be an outcast to even the people closest to us.

Good to see you're managing - make sure you don't encourage or facilitate your uncle getting into it though (not saying you are doing that, but)

That dealer of yours - he's not your mate btw. He's a cunt imo. Very little chance you're quitting this unless you move away by the sound of it tbh

 

[simplefilter]

I think addicts have been hurt, and have seen the ugliness of the world, and have decided that this world is messed up and unfair and some of its puzzles will just never be solved and just don't care about being a living example of that idea for the more naive people of the world.

Dead. So, kinda like wounded but don’t care about whether they or anyone else

I just can't for the life of me see this world as a good thing, it is all about pleasing yourself by manipulating others, or if you're not as ambitious or cruel or perceptive, being manipulated and pleasing others. Neither way feels particularly noble, neither does living in a drugged out fantasy world where you don't care about your part in the world.

 

[simplefilter]

disagree on that last part. There are objective things that aren’t manipulative, help yourself and help others at the same time.

1. Blowjobs
2. Charity (not donations, sweating for someone who needs it)

Everyone walks away better

 

[Auranova]

Fantastic progress Jesse, I’m so impressed. You don’t have to be afraid or worried about giving up coke, you only need to learn to replace it with something else you love and over time it will happen naturally. Though it may take a while, you’ll reach a point where you wake up one day thinking you’re going to partake and then go nah, I’d rather do that other thing. Keep doing what you’re doing and it will happen!

 

[jessepinkman779]

Good to see you're managing - make sure you don't encourage or facilitate your uncle getting into it though (not saying you are doing that, but)

That dealer of yours - he's not your mate btw. He's a cunt imo. Very little chance you're quitting this unless you move away by the sound of it tbh

I've come to the same conclusion. I think moving away is my only real option now. He dropped me some today and I didn't even order any.

 

[jessepinkman779]

I moved to a new state & I'm currently withdrawaling off Subutex because it's been a pain in the ass finding a doctor in CO.
Usually I have coke but I don't know anyone yet.. but it distracts me from the withdrawals. I know it's strange but I've been on subs for 3 years.
I don't know if they'll trip on me for the weed in my system & not prescribe my subs is why I've been putting off the visit & rationing what subs I had.
Idk why I'm writing this I'm just trying to distract myself as best I can from feeling like ass

I'm also going cold turkey off the subs so I feel your pain. I'll be taking a leaf out of your book and moving away

 

[jessepinkman779]

My dealers excuse for dropping me some without me asking was for me to try new stuff for him. Which is bollox he only stocked up the other day. I don't know why he cares about my custom when he's making serious money moving Oz's. I'm starting to think he just enjoys watching me struggle. Or, he wants me back on an Oz a week, but even that is pennies to him. Minimum order off him is 4.5oz and he's selling me tiny amounts it doesn't make sense. We did grow up together. My closest friend told me my dealer isn't my mate and to fuck him off for good. However, I think moving to a new area is best for me. I've got an uncle who lives about an hour's drive from me so I could stay with him until I sort my own place out. It's in the middle of nowhere too.

My dealer is either trying to stop me buying bad coke off someone else, or he's enjoying the control he has. He says it's because he doesn't want me buying stuff that's laced with all sorts of shit he'd rather I have clean stuff off him, but I'm dubious. We've been mates since we were about 7 years old. I just can't make out what his motivation is to sell small amounts to me when the minimum order is 3000. I told him earlier I'm going to no more pick ups to try new stuff for him if the police came I'd be looking at 10years plus. Plus, what if the sellers stuff was shit and I had to be the one to tell them that. That's too serious for me I don't care how much he gives me

 

[jessepinkman779]

I don't know what it's like where you guys live, but where I live I honestly don't think the law care. I know of at least 10 dealers who are blatant about it. Obviously I don't want the police getting involved I'm just making the point that almost everything is available where I live 24/7. I only deal with 1 person though, I've dealt with others and been very disappointed because it's my dealers stuff but it's been stepped on at least once maybe twice if they use novacaine or benzocaine to help mask the fact it's stepped on. Since I've been off the bupe the coke buzz is making me a bit edgy. I think they bupe was increasing the euphoria

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I don't know what it's like where you guys live, but where I live I honestly don't think the law care. I know of at least 10 dealers who are blatant about it. Obviously I don't want the police getting involved I'm just making the point that almost everything is available where I live 24/7. I only deal with 1 person though, I've dealt with others and been very disappointed because it's my dealers stuff but it's been stepped on at least once maybe twice if they use novacaine or benzocaine to help mask the fact it's stepped on. Since I've been off the bupe the coke buzz is making me a bit edgy. I think they bupe was increasing the euphoria

Could also be the phase you're at in your usage combined with your age as well. Possibly

I've heard plenty of people online and irl say they gradually found coke to feel more edgy, and I'm talking about people who use the uncut good good. And then, almost without exception, inclusive of my very self, their experiences slope off downhill into paranoia at the end of each sesh and then the para hits gradually earlier and earlier until you're lucky to even enjoy the first 45 minutes of a sesh

Sounds like the party's over mate, and that's a good thing that could help you with quitting. All best wishes as always, in your corner with a nice cool towel.

 

[jessepinkman779]

Could also be the phase you're at in your usage combined with your age as well. Possibly

I've heard plenty of people online and irl say they gradually found coke to feel more edgy, and I'm talking about people who use the uncut good good. And then, almost without exception, inclusive of my very self, their experiences slope off downhill into paranoia at the end of each sesh and then the para hits gradually earlier and earlier until you're lucky to even enjoy the first 45 minutes of a sesh

Sounds like the party's over mate, and that's a good thing that could help you with quitting. All best wishes as always, in your corner with a nice cool towel.

Thank you very much. Yeah, I think the party is over now. I genuinely think I'm trying to hold onto something that really is over. It seems to have crept up on me just as the addiction it's self did. I had no intention of desire for any on Monday, my dealer just turned up with some. So, I think moving to an area away from my home town is the next step. I've got no chance of stopping living where I am now.

 

[jessepinkman779]

Well, the bupe withdrawal has finally started hitting hard. I knew it wouldn't be pleasant but Jesus! I can't sleep, eat or relax. I've got restless legs and arms, body aches, shivers etc. The good news is I'm nearly half way through it, well tomorrow is day 5 and I'm told 7-10 days for things to get a bit easier so I'm going to ride it out. My drug councillor and her prescriber want to see me tomorrow. I'll turn up, but theres no chance I'm going back on the bupe on day 5 of withdrawal. I'm almost there. The mental withdrawals are insane. If I go back onto a low dose of bupe I know I'll get stuck on it for who knows how long and I don't want that. A few hours or even an hour sleep per night would be nice though. Last night I took 30mg of diazepam, 10mg tamezepam and 7.5mg of zooiclone and I still couldn't sleep.

On the plus side these withdrawals got me so bent up that I'm not even thinking about coke. The poster above who said the bupe withdrawal was brutal was telling the truth, it is brutal. I'm just going to ride it out.