5F-MALT: A Beautiful Tear for the Downtrodden
[2-(5-fluoro-1H-indol-3-yl)ethyl](methyl)(prop-2-en-1-yl)amine Tartarate
Dose Range: 5 - 30mg
Recently I fell in love with a beautiful psychedelic medicine on a windy April day. From this teacher I learned that our time is short and despite the traumas of our world, those are only a few struggles that we must overcome to inherit the fortune of a world full of life. She taught me to overcome the challenges of those that oppress us and to see that I am so much stronger than I knew. All we have to do is realize that our full potential is within reach, that we can conqueror these small challenges before us, and create a reality that is more than we could have hoped for.
When I met 5F-MALT I was searching for a psychedelic medicine that could teach me how we could integrate the traumas of PTSD and provide a light of hope into the future that could shine through depression. I had experimented with 5F-MET and didn't achieve the same level of integration that I thought psychedelics could provide. 5F-MALT proved to be a more healing teacher.
Recently I have felt like my mind is a bookshelf filled with all of the memories and lessons of my life. Corona Virus knocked all the books down into a pile of ruble. In the attics of my life I had meticulously stored the teachings of life with my joys, hopes, and dreams. I had organized my failures and successes. I'd saved my best memories and had bookmarked the most important facets of morality, justice, and ethics. Now they were all strewn across the floor and on that windy day she walked in.
+0
I began the day on an empty stomach to purify my body and and prepare for the experience. I asked the teacher for the strength and guidance I needed to prepare for festival season. I orally consumed 5F-MALT at 15mg and with a calm hope propped my back up, placed on my headphones, and then the ripples of the psychedelic dream began.
+25
The onset was gentle, calm, and sweet. Out of the corner of my eye I see the walls start to breathe and move and I am at a ++. I am starting to be filled with a gentle euphoria and empathy that reminds me of MDMA. Onward I go deeper into the music.
+50
Her gentle loving embrace envelops and holds me in an accepting place. A pearly glow surrounds me and the walls are covered in a kaleidoscope of colors. The experience is entactogenic. I am at a +++ and I somehow feel like I am home. The traumas of the past years start to flash before my minds eye. I'm relieving corona virus: loneliness, isolation, fear, and sexual repression. Only, I am without fear. I see the insignificance of trauma and how my memory was limited. There are so many good things in this world. One book goes back into the correct place.
I am back in college at the University of Oklahoma. It's my introductory tour and I am am standing in front of the Bizzell Library and my guide says: "Did you know that May 8, 1970 Jimmy Hendrix played at the University of Oklahoma in Norman? To this day, you can still see where the poster was on this statue." Could I see the poster after all these years? Another book goes back into place.
The world swirls and breathes, then suddenly flash! I am walking through Cal's greenhouse and we are listening to Jefferson Airplane records reading horticulture books under the black light in the closet of his green house. I have walked out of the door with my headphones on to go wander through the stacks and "I'm a Believer" by The Monkeys comes on the radio and I walk into the stacks and hear "I'm Already Gone" by The Eagles. Another book goes back into the correct place.
She guides me and carries me and now I close my eyes and I am on my way to a meeting at David Boren's house and I see his red Jaguar drive by and he picks me up and drives me home (the wandering hippy that I am). Flash, another book goes back into place.
I open my eyes to the world of color and close them again. Now I have dropped out of college and am living in an artist co-op called Universe City. I ride my bike for hours some days around Tinker Air Force base, Norman, and on the river in Oklahoma City. I remember, I see through the trauma, suddenly I know.
I remember walking through all the streets of Norman at night safe, protected, and healthy with my headphones. We were so loving, so safe so healthy. I could walk down the street at night and if there was a party and the door was open I could walk in and join. Folks were so honest, so tolerant, we were all so calm. I had forgotten. I have been lost. She has shown me that the answers are there.
I am at a ++++
+210
I am at a ++/+++. The teacher has spoken. I have been blinded by trauma, overwhelmed by cognitive dissonance, and fearful and isolated from the deep connection that I know god meant for me. Somehow all of this was so easy to understand with such bravery and confidence. We are being torn apart by our moral failings, to overwhelmed and and filled with fear when we should be filled with hope. Battered, broken down, downtrodden; we accept one lie after another thinking that it will achieve the end goal. We accept one moral failing after the next just to get by. I could not see through the traumatization. I couldn't realize the adventure and love I had known. Why was Norman that way? Morality, honesty, integrity, and social reciprocity. Years of hard work by the generations of folks that had know that place.
Now I see clearly. I feel like I have escaped the confined box I had been living in, that the veil has been lifted, and I can see for miles. I guess this is square one. I am the eyes of the world. The responsibility is mine to make a better world and future for those who also feel downtrodden. I have to recreate the gifts that I knew in my youth for future generations. We are on a ship and now my generation is the captain.
+300
I am at a +/- and it's time for me to get some sleep. I'm a medicinal cannabis user. Usually I take 25mg of a THC infusion for sleep. Tonight it's getting late and I'd say I will feel better in the morning if I smoke instead. So I get my blow torch and my dab rig and decide I will probably do this one unfiltered. I barley felt my first dab. Now onto the second one. In 30 minutes I'm asleep.
Next Day:
I feel refreshed and optimistic with a touch sadness. The world is so beautiful! The anti-depressant effects are similar and in line with Bretisilocin, though the mystical experience is truly beautiful and beyond words. After more than a week the color, taste, and hope are still back. She's truly a beautiful teacher and for a moment I sat by god and this is her signature.
