Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 12

[moerez]

I really don’t know how to cope ,I literally can not sleep! It’s been 7 months and keep getting worse, fucking barely 2 hours shallow sleep, with 2 sleeping pills! Like fuck how can I survive like this! I’m getting crazy. FML I used to sleep easily 10 hours before all this shit , I can’t live when I have no sleep no joy it’s 24-7 torture!

 

[twinpeaks123]

Please hang on people. I’m 19 months now and recovered and getting married today. What hurts me the most about this whole journey is my beautiful friend Vamsi not holding on. I miss him so much and think of him everyday. It will get better and it feels like it won’t but it does. I promise. Please hold on. I told myself I would talk to anyone losing hope. My number if anyone is not seeing the light and needs some help or reassurance that the darkness will lift and you can regain what it is like to feel human.

you recovered? when did you recover

 

[Deleted member 592205]

Please hang on people. I’m 19 months now and recovered and getting married today. What hurts me the most about this whole journey is my beautiful friend Vamsi not holding on. I miss him so much and think of him everyday. It will get better and it feels like it won’t but it does. I promise. Please hold on. I told myself I would talk to anyone losing hope. My number if anyone is not seeing the light and needs some help or reassurance that the darkness will lift and you can regain what it is like to feel human.

I’am at almost 21 months and not recovering, why?

 

[paranoid android]

I really don’t know how to cope ,I literally can not sleep! It’s been 7 months and keep getting worse, fucking barely 2 hours shallow sleep, with 2 sleeping pills! Like fuck how can I survive like this! I’m getting crazy. FML I used to sleep easily 10 hours before all this shit , I can’t live when I have no sleep no joy it’s 24-7 torture!

Dude just a few hours ago you got a boner. Your recovering just hang in there ffs! Also zopiclone as you should know can create a tolerance to it and other drugs like it. 2 not working for sleep is not something to freak out about. I take atleast that my every night to sleep usually more. It's called tolerance. Either take a break from zopiclone or switch to another sleeping pill like zopiclone.

 

[InnerReturn]

Nice, be prepared most of these doctors are required to do so much when it comes to medicine like this it’ll be guess work off the top of their head. Check for any hesitancy or general statements from your doctor. Doubtful they’ll recognize the potential dangers.

I’ve become a bit more cautious about what psychiatrists say. My experience in the hospital showed me that sometimes their approach doesn’t always feel very individualized.
For example, there was a patient with anxiety and depression who was prescribed strong antipsychotics, and before discharge she seemed very emotionally blunted. She didn’t appear to have psychotic symptoms, so it was confusing to see that kind of treatment.
This made me question things at the time. At least now my new doctor listens to me more and doesn’t immediately insist on antipsychotics, which I appreciate.
In the country where I live, it can be challenging to find a specialist who feels like the right fit, so I really hope I’ve found someone better this time.
I’ve already taken amantadine before, and I tolerated it well

 

[InnerReturn]

Please hang on people. I’m 19 months now and recovered and getting married today. What hurts me the most about this whole journey is my beautiful friend Vamsi not holding on. I miss him so much and think of him everyday. It will get better and it feels like it won’t but it does. I promise. Please hold on. I told myself I would talk to anyone losing hope. My number if anyone is not seeing the light and needs some help or reassurance that the darkness will lift and you can regain what it is like to feel human.

Did your recovery happen gradually or in waves?

 

[Deleted member 592081]

fuck this piece of shit psychiatrist i have, he gave me more antipsychotics and more antidepressant i said no and he was mad. I meet him in few weeks and I will ask for ketamine if he says no im guna fire his bitch ass .

 

[InnerReturn]

They actually didn’t even tell me invega was an antipsychotic, I was in psychosis but they specifically told me the invega was for my depression so I assumed it was a type of antidepressant I’ve never heard of (the diagnosis they gave me was major depressive disorder with psychotic features), and since I didn’t have access to my phone I couldn’t research it like I would usually do for a new med. I told my therapist this and they said that it’s usually like that in the hospital unfortunately.
I remember when I was in the hospital I still had some mild delusions and was very emotional, cried almost everyday there, but basically as soon as I left the hospital I started to feel less emotional distress and more just kind of hollow. I guess I am technically less sad but at the cost of taking everything else too

I'm so sorry you had to go through this... it sounds so confusing and difficult, especially when you don't know what medications you were prescribed. I found myself in a similar situation; they didn't tell me what medication I was being given until the very last minute, and I didn't have a phone nearby to look up the information. The only thing they told me was, "It's an expensive drug and very strong. It's from America, and they said I had to take it." Only before I was discharged were they able to tell me it was Invega Sustenna. I understand that feeling of "emptiness." It's very hard when the emotional pain subsides, but everything else is muted too. I hope we both get better with time
Have you noticed any progress? Are you feeling better?

 

[InnerReturn]

An update on me as well I guess, still struggling with anhedonia but spending more time playing video games. Mostly mobile games but games are games. I think I felt adrenaline during my work shift today, heart rate was up a little, felt focused but also a little anxious but not in a bad way. Could also be psychical side effects of vyvanse which is a good sign either way. Have to go to a funeral which is never fun, but it means I get to see people I don’t see very often. Still can’t feel weed at all which is honestly my biggest reminder of invega… being sober sucks lowkey… kind of feels like divine punishment for overindulging, but smoking after taking invega hasn’t triggered any psychotic symptoms either, so it might not have been the trigger for my psychosis which is a good thing I think? Smoking used to be how I was social and I definitely just have less to say now, and even though being quiet isn’t really affecting me negatively socially, i really miss smoking with other people and smoking by myself on walks and taking it in

I completely understand what you mean about not feeling the effects of substances. I don't feel alcohol at all anymore — it's like my brain just doesn't register it. It's such a strange and disorienting feeling, especially when you remember how it used to be. I miss the ritual too, and the social connection that came with it. It's not even about the substance itself, but about feeling 'normal' and being able to let go for a little while.
I hope that as our brains continue to heal, we'll get some of that back — maybe not in the same way, but in a way that still allows us to connect and enjoy life.
As for anhedonia, I have it too, although it's become less pronounced over time; after all, in my case, it's been five months since my last injection. But it still bothers me that I can't cry. Two months ago, when I was watching anime, I felt emotions (including tears), but now I don't. I think this is because the process is nonlinear

 

[asr0101]

An update on me as well I guess, still struggling with anhedonia but spending more time playing video games. Mostly mobile games but games are games. I think I felt adrenaline during my work shift today, heart rate was up a little, felt focused but also a little anxious but not in a bad way. Could also be psychical side effects of vyvanse which is a good sign either way. Have to go to a funeral which is never fun, but it means I get to see people I don’t see very often. Still can’t feel weed at all which is honestly my biggest reminder of invega… being sober sucks lowkey… kind of feels like divine punishment for overindulging, but smoking after taking invega hasn’t triggered any psychotic symptoms either, so it might not have been the trigger for my psychosis which is a good thing I think? Smoking used to be how I was social and I definitely just have less to say now, and even though being quiet isn’t really affecting me negatively socially, i really miss smoking with other people and smoking by myself on walks and taking it in

Being sober sucks but I’lll never again take my sober baseline for granted . I’d love to go a couple months sober once this drug wears off and just feel dopamine regularly

 

[mona21]

It has been 12.5 months I still haven’t recovered, at this point I have no hopes left of recovery, I cant even express my pain here that I feel , idk why even my last post got deleted, I said nothing that shouldnt be said here, was just sharing my despair. It has become so unbearable for me now, I cant take this pain anymore.

 

[bvc]

Does anyone experience akathisia?

 

[Deleted member 592205]

It has been 12.5 months I still haven’t recovered, at this point I have no hopes left of recovery, I cant even express my pain here that I feel , idk why even my last post got deleted, I said nothing that shouldnt be said here, was just sharing my despair. It has become so unbearable for me now, I cant take this pain anymore.

They are trying to soft-silence those like us who don’t recover even after 1 year (your case) or even almost 2 years (my case).

They do that in order to not scare the shit out of new users coming here to seek help/hope, i won’t be surprised if i get banned around the 24 months mark so they will prevent me to say “i waited 2 years, i haven’t recovered, it’s up on you if you want to see what happen, but there is a chance you will regret the 2 years in agony wasted for nothing”.

 

[moerez]

Dude just a few hours ago you got a boner. Your recovering just hang in there ffs! Also zopiclone as you should know can create a tolerance to it and other drugs like it. 2 not working for sleep is not something to freak out about. I take atleast that my every night to sleep usually more. It's called tolerance. Either take a break from zopiclone or switch to another sleeping pill like zopiclone.

I literally tried everything and after one day I get tolerance and I can’t sleep, if it goes that way I’m gonna get manic, like no sleep at all is killing me , I might go to the hospital maybe they can help? I don’t know It’s just my last resort to see if it helps, god I hate my life , how am I recovering when I could sleep 10 hours 3 months ago and it keep getting worse everyday after 7 months instead of getting better? I swear nobody can handle this fucking situation 24-7 watching walls and bedridden and severe insomnia, it’s literally unbearable this is not life this is torture I swear to god I can’t handle it anymore

 

[moerez]

Being sober sucks but I’lll never again take my sober baseline for granted . I’d love to go a couple months sober once this drug wears off and just feel dopamine regularly

I’ve been sober for 7 months and still no dopamine, I hope you get it sooner than me, my situation is keep getting worse and worse

 

[moerez]

The mods aren’t telling you you can’t talk about your experience, they’re saying that you cannot come here saying that you’re going to commit suicide in the near future, and that it’s going to be the fate of other people as well. We aren’t medical professionals, and a lot of us are also suicidal so it just ends up hurting everyone.
It’s also awful to push the idea that life isn’t worth living if you aren’t the same able bodied person you were in the past, and it kind of says a lot about what you think about disabled people. Would you tell someone in a wheelchair, someone who had a stroke, or just someone who had an accident that they should give up because they might not be able to do the same things they used to?

When we are literally bedbound and invega made us like this , when I literally can’t sleep more than 2 hours , I have no function at all , no laugh no cognitive I can’t barely speak, you just come here to vent , when you are drowning you can’t be positive , this guy doesn’t have anyone except us, if he still comes and say something it means he wants us to give him hope, but he is right we wanna ignore whoever feels more shitty than everybody to just give others hope, but do we care about him or someone like me who is getting fucked everyday? Absolutely no because this thread had many suicides and people like us struggling so much to not be like them, but again I say, every person is suffering in this thread, but remember the things you have or other people have ( for example good sleep or being least functional) we are dreaming that, that’s why we are not as positive as you because we suffer from the pains that you guys don’t have it at all it’s like comparing someone who lost his legs and hands to someone who is struggling to find a job because he can’t pay for his car , of course both are suffering but the amount of suffer it’s way more than you think, life definitely worth living , but if you have basic human or livable things like sleep , little joy or being functional, if you don’t have those, for sure you lose hope for living even an hour more on this planet

 

[Serhat]

I feel this thread a lot… I’ve been through it as well.

I had around 10 paliperidone injections and went through the same phase a lot of you are describing right now. The worst part for me was the emotional numbness, lack of motivation, and feeling like I’d never get back to normal.

What I want to say is this:

5–6 months can still be early.

I know it doesn’t feel like it, especially when you don’t see change day to day, but for me the real improvements didn’t come in the first few months. It was slow, then suddenly I realised I was feeling more again, thinking clearer, enjoying things a bit more. A lot of my recovery actually happened later, not early.

I’m not saying it’s easy or quick, but I am saying:
it’s not fixed at 4–5 months.

If you’re still feeling the same right now, that doesn’t mean it’s permanent.

Also, try to protect your baseline while recovering:
- sleep properly
- don’t overload your brain with substances
- give it time to stabilise

I know how scary it feels when you think “what if this is forever”, I had that exact thought too. But things can shift even when it feels completely stuck.

You’re not alone in this.

 

[Serhat]

I’ve been following these threads for years now (v6 up to now v12), and I just want to add something from the other side.

I went through this myself and came back here 3 years later.

At 4–6 months I thought I was stuck.
At 6–12 months I was still unsure.
But things kept improving over time, even when it felt completely flat.

What I’ve noticed is people who recover usually don’t come back to post, so it can make it seem like no one gets better. But that’s not actually the full picture.

I’m not saying it’s quick or easy, but I am saying:
this isn’t fixed at a few months.

If you’re in that phase right now, you’re still early in the timeline.

 

[Deleted member 592205]

I literally tried everything and after one day I get tolerance and I can’t sleep, if it goes that way I’m gonna get manic, like no sleep at all is killing me , I might go to the hospital maybe they can help? I don’t know It’s just my last resort to see if it helps, god I hate my life , how am I recovering when I could sleep 10 hours 3 months ago and it keep getting worse everyday after 7 months instead of getting better? I swear nobody can handle this fucking situation 24-7 watching walls and bedridden and severe insomnia, it’s literally unbearable this is not life this is torture I swear to god I can’t handle it anymore

Wait until you develop tinnitus as i did due to severe insomnia and unable to feel tiredness - very poor sleep.

 

[Deleted member 592205]

I’ve been following these threads for years now (v6 up to now v12), and I just want to add something from the other side.

I went through this myself and came back here 3 years later.

At 4–6 months I thought I was stuck.
At 6–12 months I was still unsure.
But things kept improving over time, even when it felt completely flat.

What I’ve noticed is people who recover usually don’t come back to post, so it can make it seem like no one gets better. But that’s not actually the full picture.

I’m not saying it’s quick or easy, but I am saying:
this isn’t fixed at a few months.

If you’re in that phase right now, you’re still early in the timeline.

What about 21 months?