Need advice on how to say goodbye to my oxycodone binges

[socar86]

Hi team, if this is in the wrong forum, apologies, feel free to move it

Hi Guys,
This is half vent/half cry for help


Every 1-2 months I buy anywhere from ten to twenty 20mg oxycodone capsules. I've been doing this for 3-4 years. I've always been a binge user, get a box, eat everyday till gone, let 1-2 months of pay build up, rinse repeat.

I know my struggles are far from the worst and thats ok but I jut want to talk to someone about it. I attended a few meetings, I spoke to my best people, I hit up ChatGPT and truthfully I feel a bit ashamed because there are people out there doing it way worse, yet I cannot seem to stop even after I have tried hard too. I do well at work, great job, gym, weeks go by and the thought jokingly pops into my head and within half an hour oxy is in my hannd. Ontop of this, my dose is always similiar, 50mg +50mg before bed. Never taken any other opes or even more than 120mg a day. I almost always use 40-50mg and similiar redose. I took 8 months off and came back and still found I needed 50mg to get high. It's like my tolerance is permanent. Most people start using, use for a long time then quit and be done but my usage isn't consistent and apparently ChatGPT thinks thats why I have been "training" my brain to expect WD's the moment I run out.

ANYWAY - I'm trying to stabilise on cannabis 3x a week for sleep, a light benzo every 2nd friday for meetings and pouring the rest into gym and nutrition. I'm 4 days off my last oxy sheet, 3-6 months last used before that, my finances really dont need the hit and frankly, the oxy's effects have greatly diminishd even after a break.
I suspect i may be right on the verge of letting go of the ox. Usage has become further in between and I have a few mental tools to the fight/deny the urge. I'm super focused on my life and especially now that oxy has lost its magic.

Is your goal to abstain completely going forward, or get Oxy back where it’s somewhat useful?

I’ve used Xanax and Klonopin with THC in the past, but they’ve done little aside from “sleep me through” the detox period

I didn’t read all the other responses but have you tried Bupe/Suboxone? Those drugs suck but they can help with Oxy for sure long term

I had this problem a decade ago when I maxed out on Opana and Oxycodone from a broken back. Doc said I just needed to get off so I got on Suboxone instead (never used H, but admittedly an addict otherwise)

If you try it, they’ll prescribe a TON of it, like one day strip can last you two weeks; the trick is less is more due to the way it binds. I ended up with about 500 strips at one point.

As long as your dose is low on the Suboxone, the oxy will easily overpower, but you CANNOT take the Bupe after the oxy or you’ll get sick, has to be before (hours). I’ve been on it for over 10 years, but I’ve ALWAYS, taken the smallest slivers - I.e. if I get an 8mg strip I cut probably 0.25-0.5mg per day. That should cut the WD symptoms completely (did for me at least) along with cravings (usually last 2 days after an Oxy trip) but still allows you to enjoy a normal buzz when you want or need.

After a decade of wasting of Oxy from tolerance, messing around with potentiating, this has been the best way for me to maintain but still get what I need.

Also, Naloxone (if you get that version of Suboxone) CAN POTENTIATE the Oxy, but you have to wait at least 5 hours for a few half lives - not sure the science behind that; since the Bupe is so much stronger it can be a tricky proposition, but trust me it’s real. I’ve been doing it for over a decade.

For what it’s worth I take the medication for true injuries, but I enjoy that warm feeling every few weeks, and this has been the most consistent way to find that for me without tolerance issues or doing anything risky.

I’ve never had much luck potentiating, not even with Promethezine, Clonidine, GFJ - the best and simplest for me has always been eat on an empty stomach after taking a couple of tums, and then a Reese’s cup or two for metabolizing the meds into bloodstream

Good luck to you, hopefully you get what you need!!

 

[sadmachine]

Is your goal to abstain completely going forward, or get Oxy back where it’s somewhat useful?

Full abstinence. Not suitable to abuse (not giving me good enough highs) and not suitable for wellbeing obviously (expensive, fucks with gym/work/everything). My usage overall has been declining the last 12 months but every slip up is really frustrating especially because of how much it harms the bank and uproots my routine/life for a week. I'm a little susceptible to guilt/shame as well which I've only recently learnt really really does not help. Overall when I zoom out, reduced usage over time is something to be proud of. Not all the way there yet but progress nonetheless.

Recently got a few new tools in the kit. Learnt a few new approaches. A lot of very big realisations in a short time recently. I think there is a larger issue to address but at least now i'm aware of it and what needs to be done to resolve it. About a month-ish since last slip up I think now. Not feeling optimistic, but not pessimistic either. I will likely return to update this thread in a few months on if this new approach worked.

 

[socar86]

Full abstinence. Not suitable to abuse (not giving me good enough highs) and not suitable for wellbeing obviously (expensive, fucks with gym/work/everything). My usage overall has been declining the last 12 months but every slip up is really frustrating especially because of how much it harms the bank and uproots my routine/life for a week. I'm a little susceptible to guilt/shame as well which I've only recently learnt really really does not help. Overall when I zoom out, reduced usage over time is something to be proud of. Not all the way there yet but progress nonetheless.

Recently got a few new tools in the kit. Learnt a few new approaches. A lot of very big realisations in a short time recently. I think there is a larger issue to address but at least now i'm aware of it and what needs to be done to resolve it. About a month-ish since last slip up I think now. Not feeling optimistic, but not pessimistic either. I will likely return to update this thread in a few months on if this new approach worked.

I think you’re as prepared as you’re going to be. I’d expect a dark month or so, followed by years of happiness. It’s doable, just not fun. It took me a solid month to mentally and physically detox and if I had access to them I probably would have used so it’s a time game.

It sounds like you’ve got the willpower and a plan, that’s the recipe for success. Keep us posted, and good luck!

As someone who has gotten to that point previously and maintained for years, it’s worth it - I experienced joys I could never while on opiates. Joys that naturally surpass the oxy buzz that we’ve spent years of our lives chasing.

Don’t ever look back, I’m fortunate Suboxone is legal and easy to get - but pure hell to come off of, 10x worse than my Oxy WD so stay strong and keep eyes forward. Remember, idle hands are the devils playground..

 

[Keif' Richards]

Hey @jawn doe I love that quote. That really is great perspective. It is all relative. You can find meaning and happiness in a lot of strange places in this world; places you wouldn´t ever expect.