What's your afternoon fix? are you missing anything today?

[Mushoku_Sensei]

4g gabapentin
3mg lorazepam
14mg methadone
200mg caffeine
Bong/pen hits earlier and a joint of Dosidos now, otw out the door for work.

Hopefully cruise thru the night's shift and come home and get some sleep. That shit's been in short supply lately lol. I'm lucky to get 2 hours uninterrupted, usually 1 or 2 no sleep all nighters a week and hopefully one where I finally crash solid lol. Fuckin' a, if the methadone wd insomnia is this bad and I'm still tapering, the kind of delirious I'm going to get when I jump from sleep deprivation scares me lol. I need more benzos for that occasion, or maybe z drugs. Or prodrugs.

Anyway, lol...

Just a question: With such serious sleep issues, why not taper a bit more slowly? You pulled that taper pretty quickly - which I really admire, actually...

OT: it's the third day again, so once again I thought it might work just once ...
300 mg Pregabalin
2x 3,2 g Kratom
25 mg dph
2x 10/20 mg 7oh/Mit...
Feeling good but underwhelmed... Where's that Wow- effect!?!
...

 

[PtahTek]

You just need it decarbed to get high

decarbed a 50 for the first time and its fire.
love it but tolerance is surely goin through the roof. lol
been stoned since day one and dont see any end in sight. may be stuck, bruh

 

[ions]

decarbed a 50 for the first time and its fire.
love it but tolerance is surely goin through the roof. lol
been stoned since day one and dont see any end in sight. may be stuck, bruh

so long as you can still function that's important. it's easy to get geeked on edible thc.

 

[Psychlone Jack]

Just a question: With such serious sleep issues, why not taper a bit more slowly? You pulled that taper pretty quickly - which I really admire, actually...

OT: it's the third day again, so once again I thought it might work just once ...
300 mg Pregabalin
2x 3,2 g Kratom
25 mg dph
2x 10/20 mg 7oh/Mit...
Feeling good but underwhelmed... Where's that Wow- effect!?!
...

Thank you very much for your support! But the taper has actually been going for quite a while now. Started in June of last year on a daily split dose of 170mg, 85/85mg morning and evening, dropping initially 2mg per dose per week. So doses dropped weekly from 85 to 83 to 81 to 79, etc... then I had to slow it down because of symptoms at the 50mg daily total mark, so since then it's been 25/25, 24/24..... all the way to today's 13/13mg... not much slower i could go, unless i started skipping weeks between drops, and as hard as it's getting, I'd rather face the brunt of it than prolong it even more. The plan right now is to keep tapering at the same rate, 1mg per dose per week (2mg total drop weekly) until I hit 16mg, 8 and 8, and then take a month off work to jump from there and recuperate. About 6 weeks til jump day.

This taper has been a lot of things, but from my perspective 'quick' does NOT fit the bill lol.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

Thank you very much for your support! But the taper has actually been going for quite a while now. Started in June of last year on a daily split dose of 170mg, 85/85mg morning and evening, dropping initially 2mg per dose per week. So doses dropped weekly from 85 to 83 to 81 to 79, etc... then I had to slow it down because of symptoms at the 50mg daily total mark, so since then it's been 25/25, 24/24..... all the way to today's 13/13mg... not much slower i could go, unless i started skipping weeks between drops, and as hard as it's getting, I'd rather face the brunt of it than prolong it even more. The plan right now is to keep tapering at the same rate, 1mg per dose per week (2mg total drop weekly) until I hit 16mg, 8 and 8, and then take a month off work to jump from there and recuperate. About 6 weeks til jump day.

This taper has been a lot of things, but from my perspective 'quick' does NOT fit the bill lol.

Ok, I get that. But you're constantly reducing - every time I see your posts you were down a bit more. No break. That's why it looks fast to me - and it's tough on your system, too, apparently... But will is king, as it's your wish, your body will follow eventually I'm sure... Mind sharing how you're keeping yourself off of your prior doc?

 

[Psychlone Jack]

Ok, I get that. But you're constantly reducing - every time I see your posts you were down a bit more. No break. That's why it looks fast to me - and it's tough on your system, too, apparently... But will is king, as it's your wish, your body will follow eventually I'm sure... Mind sharing how you're keeping yourself off of your prior doc?

Thank you for the encouragement, it means a lot honestly...

As to your question, I came out of prison 3 years ago with a bupe habit after doing 7 for cooking meth, went to the clinic here and increased, then transitioned to methadone. Never could get stable so just went for the taper... As for staying off my doc, cooking meth, by doing all the legal ones, staying to myself and holding on for dear life while I try to make sense of the shit lol.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

Thank you for the encouragement, it means a lot honestly...

As to your question, I came out of prison 3 years ago with a bupe habit after doing 7 for cooking meth, went to the clinic here and increased, then transitioned to methadone. Never could get stable so just went for the taper... As for staying off my doc, cooking meth, by doing all the legal ones, staying to myself and holding on for dear life while I try to make sense of the shit lol.

Wow, I didn't expect that at all... Incredible, I just believed you were the opioid type of guy for well a year now . Guess it's worth talking to people occasionally
Anyway it's a huge achievement to get this far, RESPECT!! (as we use to say here).

OT :
200 mg Pregabalin,
50 mg dmh
2+ 2,4 g Kratom
5 mg Diazepam
20/40 mg 7oh/Mit
Gave me a short nod with wild dreams lol, then got distracted by my mobile and it was gone. Still quite dosed and am crashing rn, so off to bed I go...
Been a miserable day tbh, so gave up on reducing
Locked up the 7 though, as I don't want this to get any worse...
Wish me luck, I need it...

 

[PtahTek]

so long as you can still function that's important. it's easy to get geeked on edible thc.

thats the thing... i function better and panic doesnt visit me every morning like it used to with the intense tension/pressure, sweats and buggy feelin for decades. not sure how to break the news to therapist that i think the flower sussed out 90% of panic upon waking. guess i will just be honest and see what she thinks. whateva. lol
bnz didnt help that. unless i dosed like a mf and slept through a couple days.

ot

3g kratom (tried a dif vendor and its a weaker product than im used to)
~ 1/2g of decarbed flower
600mg gabap

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

200 mg Pregabalin
25 mg Hydroxyzine
9,5 g Kratom in 3 doses since morning,
5 mg Diazepam
20/40 mg 7oh/Mit
Weed vaped - mistake, made me feel sick
Nic patch n vape ( found an old vape I lost... last year? - no, not using that, just glad I finally found it before the kids did... Or did they?? ),
Ugh... I really need help... But working on it....

 

[Sp4rky]

- 12.5mg O-DSMT
- nicotine

So tired, 1 presentation done, 1 left, then a week free from uni. Really need a break, I’m exhausted. Should have gone for some speed instead maybe, but at least I’m not feeling anxious about presenting for once .—.

 

[TheLightBringer]

- 12.5mg O-DSMT
- nicotine

So tired, 1 presentation done, 1 left, then a week free from uni. Really need a break, I’m exhausted. Should have gone for some speed instead maybe, but at least I’m not feeling anxious about presenting for once .—.

Its nice to see you take less stuff for a change though, giving your body a much needed break.

Youre so young its usually a sign that youll fall deep if youre already a daily poly-substance user at 18. Not that I was any different, but just remember to stay safe

 

[Esperighanto]

its usually a sign that youll fall deep if youre already a daily poly-substance user at 18. Not that I was any different, but just remember to stay safe

I noticed this too, I rarely hear people speak on the neuological/cognitive developments that go on between like 17 to ~23 years old which are obviously super important to establishing a baseline as a grown adult, and as far as drug use goes they're often told it's about the same from 17-18 as it is from 23-25, when those are SUCH different times in somebody's life. I would no longer tempt fate to even a fraction of the degree I did, and longevity is so much more in the center of my sights now. I used a pretty monstrous amount of stimulants and depressants from 18 until the month I turned 21, then almost exclusively cannabis for 2 years becoming one of the most intense cannabis users I have met to this very day, and then a week or so after turning 22 getting to know psychedelics and my entire life reorienting around how they allowed me to exist as myself, through over a decade of neurological damage that had blunted me so severely, and I just turned 27 last month, so it's still all pretty new to me.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

- 12.5mg O-DSMT
- nicotine

So tired, 1 presentation done, 1 left, then a week free from uni. Really need a break, I’m exhausted. Should have gone for some speed instead maybe, but at least I’m not feeling anxious about presenting for once .—.

Man, I feel you on the exhaustion... And I hope you can recover - 4 real (oh the irony)... Cause I'm already walking on my gums as we say here even without the meth binges ...
Switched to Kratom with coke (cola) yesterday afternoon as I can hardly eat and then it's falling through me... I'm tired from the moment I get up lol... And every time I get my guts up to stop I'm becoming so useless that I eventually cave in... Might not be the place here but I finally confessed to my Mom... Since my little fam already knows and got the gun at my chest now ... I guess I need that though.

 

[Sp4rky]

Its nice to see you take less stuff for a change though, giving your body a much needed break.

Youre so young its usually a sign that youll fall deep if youre already a daily poly-substance user at 18. Not that I was any different, but just remember to

Its nice to see you take less stuff for a change though, giving your body a much needed break.

Youre so young its usually a sign that youll fall deep if youre already a daily poly-substance user at 18. Not that I was any different, but just remember to stay safe

Hmm yeah I suppose. I know myself damn well in the way my use would spiral into extremes if I don’t reduce my daily use.

Sometimes I feel like I live life backwards when it comes to substances. Abusing daily just to get through the day before I got into the rave scene, while most people would blame rave culture for creating addiction.

For me it’s my biggest motivator to keep drugs as fun as possible.

 

[Esperighanto]

Sometimes I feel like I live life backwards when it comes to substances. Abusing daily just to get through the day before I got into the rave scene, while most people would blame rave culture for creating addiction.

People blame the rave scene for drug addiction? Like, specifically habituation? I'm jut shocked given club drugs do not shine in that regard compared to straight ice, or longer lasting sedatives like clonazepam or methadone even. People who become meaningfully addicted to anything that's ever been called "ecstasy" shock me.

 

[Sp4rky]

People blame the rave scene for drug addiction? Like, specifically habituation? I'm jut shocked given club drugs do not shine in that regard compared to straight ice, or longer lasting sedatives like clonazepam or methadone even. People who become meaningfully addicted to anything that's ever been called "ecstasy" shock me.

Yeah, it depends, some blame it for starting addiction in the way weed often gets blamed as being a ‘gateway drug’, while others say that anyone who goes to raves, only ever does so just to get high.

While I’ve seen both cases be true in some scenarios, like some people try xtc at a rave for the first time and it leads to them chasing that first roll forever, spiralling into meth or something. Or some people, especially with cocaine in the mainstream techno scene do just go to raves alone, just to do more cocaine, but I’d agree that neither cases it’s rave culture itself that would be to blame.

Addiction always comes from some kind of personal problem, usually mental health stuff or trauma and raves just happen to be a place where ‘real’ drugs are the most normalized. But most people tend to forget that alchohol is in fact also a hard drug, so it’s pretty hypocritical in my opinion .—.

And I’d say there’s a difference between addiction and an unhealthy relationship to drugs. Like a lot of people in the queer rave scene especially, rely on drugs and raves for that sense of community. Which isn’t ideal, but for most people that just stays in the weekends and isn’t this ‘forever haunting’ feeling if that makes sense?

So fucking high, excuse my rambling aha, but for me raves have given me so many genuine friends I love to be around even without drugs. It’s the community and the music I love the most, I’ve always enjoyed rave culture and just going out in general even when drugs weren’t yet in my life, so I always find it an interesting accusation.

 

[Sp4rky]

- half a joint

Wow, having a good day that doesn’t include a rave for once

Bought a giant bag full of bread & baked goods that the local grocery store was gonna throw away for €3 and the munchies and my bankaccount are very happy with that.

Really starting to feel my recent switch from testosterone gel to the 12-weekly injections damn. The fact I can be this hungry, while still pretty high on meth with a bit of weed and testosterone is so funny to me.

Anyways hoping y’all are having a decent day so far

 

[opiatekrzy]

And most days I wake up to a coffee and cigarette but today I woke up to methamphetamine

 

[CalicoCatLover]

Eeeeyeah I'm missing my fenny sitting here with a 4 loko. Drink up

 

[Sp4rky]

- tiny bump IC-26

Bone pain was absolutely killing me at uni. Was a good reminder of how glad I am to not be snorting whole lines in the uni toilets tho, always a hassle and just fucking embarrassing trying to be as silent as possible .—.

At that awkward point in my gender transition where I kinda have to start using the men’s toilets but still get stares too, extra layer of anxiety

Feeling better now tho, on my way to get some new batches of stuff tested. Hoping my fav. worker is there, been a while since I’ve been to this specific testing center, but the workers here are always so nice, absolute blessing.

Hope y’all having a decent afternoon Haven’t decided yet on my evening chemicals, want to maybe stick to just weed and maybe getting some CBD weed as well.