I am an alcoholic but have managed to cut my drinking down to every third night, smoking a small amount of cannabis on the nights I don't drink. At one stage I was up to 21 standard drinks every night but did a home detox under the care of an addiction specialist in 2010 and had 19 months alcohol-free. Unfortunately I never fully lost my desire for alcohol and so went back to it, but at a reduced quantity (10-12). I would have thought that having 19 months sober would 'reset' my brain but it didn't take long for the old tolerance to set in once more. I would like to keep drinking every third night but the problem is that I have nearly lost all euphoria from alcohol, and I have no idea of how to get it back. Alcohol used to make me feel happy at night, and allowed me to temporarily forget my treatment-resistant depression. I knew it wasn't a true answer, and that alcohol is a depressant, but just having a few hours at the end of the day to unwind and enjoy a drink was all I wanted. Does anyone know of any way to reset the brain so it can once again feel at least a bit of euphoria from alcohol, without having to drink ridiculous amounts (even doing that, I don't feel the old euphoria any longer). Cannabis doesn't really give me euphoria, and too much of it just makes me very anxious. I have tried various other substances but none of them is suitable for night use, as many of them have stimulant or sleep-disrupting effects. The latest experiment has involved drinking small amounts of 2-methyl-2-butanol (2m2b) as an alcohol substitute, and this can sometimes bring about a bit of euphoria, but most of the time I just end up sedated and not very happy, from either alcohol or 2m2b. I know I should just quit and be done with it, but I get cravings because I still remember the old euphoria when I first started drinking many years ago. If anyone knows of any substance or method that can result in regained alcohol euphoria I would be most interested in hearing about it, although sadly I suspect that there is no such method. I think the years of very heavy drinking have damaged my receptors beyond repair. Maybe if something can magnify the effects of alcohol, the euphoria can be regained?? I have thought of opioids but don't want to end up with an opioid addiction on top of my alcohol addiction. If there is no way to regain the old euphoria, is there any way to just relax at night? No offense but I'm not interested in psychotherapy or antidepressants, as I have tried both several times without success, and meditation does not appeal to me.
