Harm Reduction HUGE RECOVERY

[WellTram]

Hi guys, I just want to share something i achieved and i am glad for it. Maybe it will be an inspiration for somebody.

I was 15 years addicted to various opioids. Before detox i was taking mostky dihydrocoide 600mg daily or tramadol 1500-2000 dayli but was addicted to much stronger ones long time ago.

I am addicted for 15 years to (now mid) before hige dose alprazolam and diazepam.

Was using miratazapine and vortioxetine. Also promethazine.
Any my anticonvulsive medication which works for me without any mental effects.

1, I quit vortioxetine, miratazapine, promethazine. I am less depressed now

2, I reduced benzodiazepine use by 50 % in 6 days. Only been able to do this because of help provided by tizanidine, ibuprofen, paracetamol, dextromethorphan +- 300mg took through day. Today zero. And also going from 2000mg tramadol helps a lot.

3, Tramadol reduction to 150mg 3 times per day.
It wasnt easy, but i had everything i need - pets, books, art, family, etc .. And i was not ok with being dependent on something which is equiivalent to 200mg morphine at least ( orally ), but it lasts long cause in this high doses Its like potent "amohetamine level" stimulant combined with opioid effects of Its metabolite, which binds strongly.

DIarhea, hot/cold feelings, pain, sweating - everything experienced but symptoms were different every day and now i have only mild diarhea, no energy in morning, sometimes tears in my eyes, but i feel huge positives also. I have no intention changing this, to worse. Will stay on 450mg for one more week, than will taper to less. Every 2 days i will do 37,5mg less.
If i will need to stay on 450 for longer, still better than giant dose and many other meds.

I am actually much more happy now than before, interesting.

 

[TheLightBringer]

Keep going! You are almost out of the forest my friend, keep going and when youre out run and never look back

 

[WellTram]

Keep going! You are almost out of the forest my friend, keep going and when youre out run and never look back

Thanks for kind words Every day there is pressure to take only little bit more, but i use that pressure to recognice my inner enemy and winning over him. Today, i have something like empty diarrhea again cause of being little bit energised by modafinil. But i used this energy to shave my face, body, going to hairdresser. Now i need to take care of my kitten.

 

[WellTram]

I have little problem.
I was using in my opinion much less effective diazepam. Now i have only alprazolam and even if i take 1-2 mgs, 20mg diazepam was much more helpful lol. Nothing before, except now for some reason alprazolam made me use 1 more extra tramadol dose today because it provide no such kind of relief as diazepam and i don't know why, i am experienced with both and alprazolam was always the one which was more potent and effective.
Quess i will have to take just 1mg of alprazolam potentiated with tizanidine a few times through day. I was taking 10-15mg alprazolam in past so....This Is actually the most difficult part of detoxing. Benzos complicate every attempt to detox....Well, probably i will need to adapt somehow in next 7 days...
( it's scary when i read about people having to taper for years omg ).

 

[Keif' Richards]

Hey @WellTram this is great news. I was dependent upon Heroin for about 15 years. I know what it's like. You deserve to feel proud of yourself. I know there is not a Nobel Peace Prize-style reward for a person getting clean. There should be, as it's probably one of the hardest things a person can do in this world. It's enough to feel pride for yourself. The love and respect of the people who care about you, that's the real reward.

I was going to move this over to our recovery forums, though I can see we are talking about pharmacology and what not, so we will keep it as is for the time being. Good job my friend. Stand up and take a bow.

 

[WellTram]

Hey @WellTram this is great news. I was dependent upon Heroin for about 15 years. I know what it's like. You deserve to feel proud of yourself. I know there is not a Nobel Peace Prize-style reward for a person getting clean. There should be, as it's probably one of the hardest things a person can do in this world. It's enough to feel pride for yourself. The love and respect of the people who care about you, that's the real reward.

I was going to move this over to our recovery forums, though I can see we are talking about pharmacology and what not, so we will keep it as is for the time being. Good job my friend. Stand up and take a bow.

Thank you. I cry because of something...sad, but i still need to keep as sober as possible....Lonely road...I get rid of people who constantly triggered my issues so i was using huge, now i have so many pills and liquid opioid but i can't even open the package. I have only one box opened, for strict tapering...but more than symptoms, i am scared of being so alone.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

Thank you. I cry because of something...sad, but i still need to keep as sober as possible....Lonely road...I get rid of people who constantly triggered my issues so i was using huge, now i have so many pills and liquid opioid but i can't even open the package. I have only one box opened, for strict tapering...but more than symptoms, i am scared of being so alone.

I feel you on the loneliness... It's basically the reason why I started the whole drug business... Why I'm here also... And I know how hard it is to hold back when it strikes... It's actually amazing that you can do this... And if I understood you right you still have a family - I hope they're not the ones triggering you... ?
Keep your head up, despite the lows is all I can say... You got this far...

 

[WellTram]

I feel you on the loneliness... It's basically the reason why I started the whole drug business... Why I'm here also... And I know how hard it is to hold back when it strikes... It's actually amazing that you can do this... And if I understood you right you still have a family - I hope they're not the ones triggering you... ?
Keep your head up, despite the lows is all I can say... You got this far...

My family see like i am changing back to normal after giant abuse of everything ( my cope mechanism to manage living with my ex bf family ). Once i told i need to go home, i need to change this. We are still friends and he helps me a lot.
My family Is happy i have mindset of " rather taper it all now, need to be back to myself ASAP than using giant doses ONLY to make myself numb". I feel life, i even feel that suffering of taper and it's uncomfortable but i feel present, in reality. There is no problem with family. Taking care of dog and youg cat ( Felix ) Is sometimes too much but i always push myself to do it. Mine pets, i have to do the best for them.
Opioid doses back to stable 3x150mg after 1 time when i took more ( Yesterday ) but i obtained more alprazolam so i tell myself " Look, take that benzo, tizanidine, ibuprofen but U HAVE TO STAY ON 450MG TRAMADOL / 24H ".

This Is day 7 of tramadol tapered from 2000 to 450. Still oversensitive stomach and empty diarrhea. But u
I knew tram has long wd's. Other meds quit to 0 weeks ago, except, that benzo habit and 2x daily anti-seizure medication ( no mental effects but no seizures ).

No cogarettes anymore, alcohol absolutly not....I have so many tram but i just...i want to start to feel fine on 450, stabilize and than go 37,5mg down every other day.

There was no point in numbing myself and killling myself at the same time...

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

My family see like i am changing back to normal after giant abuse of everything ( my cope mechanism to manage living with my ex bf family ). Once i told i need to go home, i need to change this. We are still friends and he helps me a lot.
My family Is happy i have mindset of " rather taper it all now, need to be back to myself ASAP than using giant doses ONLY to make myself numb". I feel life, i even feel that suffering of taper and it's uncomfortable but i feel present, in reality. There is no problem with family. Taking care of dog and youg cat ( Felix ) Is sometimes too much but i always push myself to do it. Mine pets, i have to do the best for them.
Opioid doses back to stable 3x150mg after 1 time when i took more ( Yesterday ) but i obtained more alprazolam so i tell myself " Look, take that benzo, tizanidine, ibuprofen but U HAVE TO STAY ON 450MG TRAMADOL / 24H ".

This Is day 7 of tramadol tapered from 2000 to 450. Still oversensitive stomach and empty diarrhea. But u
I knew tram has long wd's. Other meds quit to 0 weeks ago, except, that benzo habit and 2x daily anti-seizure medication ( no mental effects but no seizures ).

No cogarettes anymore, alcohol absolutly not....I have so many tram but i just...i want to start to feel fine on 450, stabilize and than go 37,5mg down every other day.

There was no point in numbing myself and killling myself at the same time...

That's a very tough taper you're doing and I absolutely support staying on a stable dose for a while... I can't even imagine doing such a huge cut...
Got my respect for this and - you are strong, you proved it, so never forget it...

 

[WellTram]

That's a very tough taper you're doing and I absolutely support staying on a stable dose for a while... I can't even imagine doing such a huge cut...
Got my respect for this and - you are strong, you proved it, so never forget it...

Thanks, but loneliness and sudden u effectiveness of alprazolam complicated my whole detox. But in 2 weeks i would have diazepam again. Don't understand why always much more effective alprazolam Is much less of a help in detox than diazepam.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

Thanks, but loneliness and sudden u effectiveness of alprazolam complicated my whole detox. But in 2 weeks i would have diazepam again. Don't understand why always much more effective alprazolam Is much less of a help in detox than diazepam.

Well, for me personally Diazepam is the way better one... And when I withdraw or taper quickly my back is usually hurting from my tense muscles, so Diaz is the best muscle relaxer I know and the perfect aid for that...

 

[WellTram]

Well, for me personally Diazepam is the way better one... And when I withdraw or taper quickly my back is usually hurting from my tense muscles, so Diaz is the best muscle relaxer I know and the perfect aid for that...

Yes. Unfortunately, no access to diazepam for next 2 weeks. I would have to take alprazolam, which Is great for mental anxiety but lacks effects i need while detoxing.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

Still better than no benzo I guess...

 

[WellTram]

Still better than no benzo I guess...

Yes, absolutely.

 

[Keif' Richards]

You have to hold these two separate ideas in your head at the same time. One is that you can never mess up and use again, at any cost. The other, is that if you do relapse, you pick yourself up, learn from it and don't beat yourself up a single bit more than what is required for you to learn. There will be ups and downs. You have to be able to cling on to the small victories and use those small things to help you get to the bigger things. This is a long road. That doesn't mean there is not happiness along the way on that road, but it means you can't stop walking.

 

[stimp123]

Alprazolam seems like a completely different drug than it was back in 2008. I’m amazed by how much shittier it seems. Slower to come on and zero euphoria. Might as well just be a sleep drug. Reminds me of zolpiderm. Are these pharmaceutical companies constantly tweaking with their formulas and recipes? They always ruin a good thing. Better off using THC than any of these shite poisons.

 

[WellTram]

I have little problem here guys. The depression srarted getting back...i had to put my vortioxetine back and i will see if it will make difference....Tram still 450mg daily its not cause of that its cause of this atypical snris i was on.

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

I have little problem here guys. The depression srarted getting back...i had to put my vortioxetine back and i will see if it will make difference....Tram still 450mg daily its not cause of that its cause of this atypical snris i was on.

So how is it going? Did you stop the vortioxetine together with the rest? That may have been a bit too much for your system then...

 

[Mushoku_Sensei]

Alprazolam seems like a completely different drug than it was back in 2008. I’m amazed by how much shittier it seems. Slower to come on and zero euphoria. Might as well just be a sleep drug. Reminds me of zolpiderm. Are these pharmaceutical companies constantly tweaking with their formulas and recipes? They always ruin a good thing. Better off using THC than any of these shite poisons.

Yes, if you can avoid them it's definitely the best... But for WD they're simply a bit more helpful IMO... Damn slippery road though, admittedly...

 

[WellTram]

So how is it going? Did you stop the vortioxetine together with the rest? That may have been a bit too much for your system then...

I stopped vortioxetine and mirtazapine month before i reduced my opioids. Now i feel better again just after 2 days of taking vortioxetine again. So called " non-addictive ssri" and it lasted almost 1 week until i figured out why i was so sleepy and my joints were in pain. It was actually the best AD except initial symptoms when i almost killed myself but it worked well for years i just wanted to be off ad meds. Now i put vortioxetine back on my daily meds and will taper it slowly later...It has never lost effects like other ones it even made me cognitively sharper but u know...just another pills...definitely wont take mirtazapine again lol...