nootropics/peptides are things that can help repair your brain and improve your cognitive function, as you know, you had a pretty severe reaction to risperdial consta and it changed how your body functions work
basically explain what happened to you, what you are experiencing and paste it to the subreddit called nootoopics, there are people who far more knowledgeable than us and can give advice on your situation, I am not saying this will 100% cure you but it’s a possibility and it’s worth seeking it before considering suicide
you already explained your situation before, just copy to the subreddit and add some context, I am probably going to sleep now but I hope to see the post by the time I wake up