Connection

[kris66]

The most powerful thing that I can do right now is set my goals to finish them. I think that I should list my ideas and the details of how

I am going to get to my goal and try to figure out how to get all of this done. Alright.


Or vividly imagine what it will be like when I get there. And then write out or think about what the end result will be. And what the worse case scenario can be.


If nothing changes, and if I just keep doing exactly what I have been doing all along I can imagine what it will be like if I don't change a thing.

Harsh, yes. Necessary, absolutely.



And as luck will have it, or as it goes ... I barely had the strength to write it down though. So I just did here instead. The brain needs contrast. The dream versus the nightmare.

And this is where the mind starts to crave the whole idea, because staying the same can become unbearable.



I'm a happy life. But I have to put everything back in place. It's a pile right now. I think furniture is where it is supposed to be so far.

I put clothes and shoes away except for one croc that doesn't have a match becuse it floated away down the river.



Now I have to fix some cabnets. Put shelves back together. Pots and pans. Books. And clean up everything that got to be a huge mess from

settling in too long. Lol. It got bad.



And all I really want is to make my bed and futon and be able to settle in once more and be comfy once again. And stay warm and get rest.


This could have been done in three hours to three days or stretched to six weeks. However, it has been three months so far.

My brain is really slow. Please don't call me Lazy.


And so then everything else hurts worse than my brain or maybe just as bad. But I did get a lot done.


I want to get it all done as soon as possible because I feel like I am not going to make it that much longer. I feel so bad. Like awful. Actual painfulness.

I feel so bad at times I really do feel like I am dying.



And then I really do think I might not be alive in seven or eight more months. Maybe I can make it for nine. Lol. It's terrible to feel that bad but it's so True.



Then if I can get settled in maybe I can start working on taking better care of my health and being as healthy as I can. It sounds easy enough but to do it is another.


I don't understand why I have such a difficult problem getting up and trying to do things. I mean I can still ski and go tubing and be recreational and out floating on the water

and I can hike on the trails. And that's about it. But I have to travel with my canvas chair so that I can rest my damn broken back it feels like.

And my inner tubes so I can refresh. And have fun letting the dogs out to run too.



I have some physical strength left but no endurance it seems. I get this incapacitating cramp in my intestine on the right side of my stomach. So far

no tumer markers have shown up in my blood tests at all. And then I can't understand the debilatating tiredness all of the time.



I have to lounge for ten minutes all day long sometimes while I am trying to keep on going. Not everyday. But it's just horrible. So .... I'm thinking maybe

it is cardiovascular and I don't know if I am going to have to get bypassed or end up with a pacemaker. That's why it is so important for me ... to finish cleaning

everything so I won't have to be embarrassed by leaving behind a big mess and cluster for someone else to have to get stuck with. I don't think that


I would be able to go through open heart surgery or chemo even. And also I can't get my sh*t done and am too tired to do too much all at once ..... which is barely nothing.



It's tough losing others because of the fact that we don't live forever. So I want to get everything done so that I can just lay in bed.


But ... no. I have to go out in the woods. I have to camp, hike trails and be outdoors. It hurts losing others, yes, and I don't want to


outlive my immediate family anyway. But if I did lose any of them maybe it wouldn't hurt too bad because I already feel like terrible sh*t anyway and is all that I can bear.



So I just want to focus on what energy that I have left to try to accomplish what I need to do. And what is necessary for what I want to be able to do.


And be able to establish what I want to be able to do including completing all of those goals. And then still be able to camp, stay warm and then for goodness sakes

go back to bed.


I am hoping to have everything finally done that I need, and to know how to focus on what I need to do always. This way.


And hopefully most of it will be done by Summer. This Summer. Someone told me it is going to take me ten years. Well if it's not done by next


Summer I am just going to get a burn cage. I think it will get done somehow though. If I work for two hours

it looks almost finished. I get closer every time. I'm afraid to even Pray right now.


But we are all going to be alright together.


And it will all be fine once it's .... to The Bunker. Lol. Heck Yah. This is P&S so I will still try to keep this Topic.


~~~~~


So sometimes I just have to realize that this is all just a cosmic joke to make it more fun and enjoyable at least. And try to really not take life too serioulsly


at all now. To keep it more chilled and laid back. And we should all try to live our lives our own way and to enjoy it all as much as possible however we can.


I'm just trying to stay happy by trying to do this the best that I can. Because this life time isn't going to last forever. I will be fine because I am almost there I think.


I hope that we all can take care and live the Best That We possibly Can. And make efforts for ourselves and others to make it all work somehow together.



Oops I did it again. Rant really over again. Really this time.

Stay Spiritual. It really does help too. Like how we are doing in here, Philosophising All.



Bubye's



Thank You for your Sub Forum. ( Threads )

If you are having this much fatigue let your Dr know and ask about a stress test. At least if that’s negative it would rule out anything cardiac related.

Do you know if they drew a TSH? It could be your thyroid hormone level is abnormal. Have you had your hgb and iron levels checked recently?

You have to advocate for yourself with fatigue or they will ignore you because everyone complains of fatigue. Insist that this is not normal fatigue and tell your Dr what you told us.


Kris

 

[Ki3ly]

Kris

My thyroid is fine. I have to get a blood test every three months. I mean Every. Seeing the ' Vampire ' wink

Yes. This is what I am up against. Prods and Probes. Scary.


Thank you again for your Post's. That is a very good Reminder. And very good Friendly Reminder

Superb Advice.

~~~~~~

But you know, Now I seem to feel better. I started to feel it a bit. A little more skip in my jump and Better.

Oh Also I had this really weird flu. And I think I am almost alright now. Just ear and throat burns

and so does sneezing. Weird. Like a toxin in the air. Like some kind of weird aerosol being sprayed in the air. And then I kept

thinking that I was over it or maybe that is what sparked it up again, the Chronic Fatigue that is.

I always seem to feel like I do have the flu a lot sometimes. And I got extremely tired for a while and I hope that it goes away.

But I think that I have some energy back now. I had the worst aches and pains that hit me in the chest too. I thought about

going to the Emergency Room but it wasn't really going to matter if I was just going to die anyway. Probably it just

could be a Really Bad Flu Season too. Real bad stuff going around. I made it though. Ouch Thank You.

Maybe I am doing a little bit more everyday. Again. And it feels so good to be able to.


I don't like being bothered going to the doctor either at times. Like this month I want to just canx because they reschedule and it buys

me another 30 days. But I will get there in a few days. For at least to give my blood. Thank You !!

 

[Ki3ly]

Positive




19 Things You Can Control


Have you ever heard of The butterfly effect? It’s a hypothetical theory that one small, seemingly inconsequential choice can create enormous results. It stems from the meteorologist Edward Lorenz, who asserted that the flapping of a butterfly’s wings created a chain of events that led to a tornado several weeks later. You’ve seen the idea played out in all sorts of time travel movies: the character makes one tiny change that alters history, ultimately requiring them to go back and undo their actions.

The thought of the butterfly effect can be terrifying, but it also holds promise: promise that our choices result in change. We can’t control the world around us, we can’t control the people around us, but we cancontrol ourselves, making choices that we know will have a positive impact on ourselves. Check out the list below to consider all of the things that are truly within your own control.


1. Your sleep

You can’t overstate the value of sleep in your life. Needing sleep isn’t a weakness, it’s a human necessity that deserves a lot more credit than it’s given. Sleep is the best way to reset your mind and give your body a chance to rest.

Everybody is created differently, and some thrive on six hours of sleep while others need nine; some function best early in the morning while others hit their stride in the evening. Create circumstances that allow you to get the optimal sleep you need when you need it. Don’t apologize or feel guilty for prioritizing sleep.




2. Your diet

“You are what you eat” gets repeated time and again because of the truth it holds. You get a choice in what foods and drinks you put into your body. You get a choice in how much of a food or drink you put into your body. Maintaining control means choosing nutritious foods and appropriate proportions. It means considering the long-term impacts of overconsuming drinks that aren’t optimal for your health (we’re looking at you, alcohol, and energy drinks). Controlling your diet is key to controlling your health.





3. Your physical fitness


Your own physical fitness is in your hands. You can choose to exercise and include movement in your daily routine. You don’t have to spend money to walk in your neighborhood or find bodyweight workout routines on YouTube. You get to control the mental and physical investment you put into your physical health.





4. Your breath


Stress is one of the key factors that negatively impact our health. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of control over many stressful situations, but we do have control in how we respond to them. Various articles including from Harvard discuss how breath focus forces our bodies to relax. The next time you’re faced with something stressful, take a moment to control your breathing- deep breath in, hold, deep breath out– and revel in the control you have over your body and mind.




5. Your mental fitness



You exercise your body to keep it in prime condition; if you want to keep your brain in prime condition, you need to do the same. Maintaining your mental fitness doesn’t mean you have to complete the crossword puzzle in the paper every day or keep a Sudoku puzzle book in the bathroom. It means participating in some sort of activity that engages and challenges your mind. It’s up to you if you want to strengthen your brain and keep it sharp!




6. Your emotion

One of the most memorable billboard quotes out there says, “Those who anger you control you.” Your emotions are a reaction to what’s happening around you, and you control how you react. You can choose to react in anger when you’re being treated rudely, or you can go the ‘kill ‘em with kindness’ approach. The choice is there and the choice is always yours, because you, and only you, get to control your emotions.




7. Your mindset


Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” You are in control of how you view your capability in any situation. You can choose a fixed mindset, believing that this is who you are and that can’t be changed, or you can choose a growth mindset, believing that you are capable of achieving your goals with determination and hard work. No one else gets to decide for you if you are capable or incapable.

8. Your mindfulness

Metacognition is the term that describes thinking about thinking. It might sound redundant to think about your thinking, but it’s the first step in being more mindful. Everyone has moments where they look back and wonder, “Why did I say that? Why did I respond that way?” In the moment it almost feels like you have no control. Practicing mindfulness gives you control over your thoughts in any situation. You are in charge of how you think about any given situation.



9. Your self-talk

You control how you think, so you also control how you talk to yourself. You get to decide whether you encourage or undermine yourself. You get to decide whether you replay events in your mind for hours, hashing over what you should have said, or tell yourself to move on.




10. Your gratitude


Resentment comes easily when life feels overwhelming. We can choose to let the stress of a situation take control of our minds and ruin our mood, or we can choose to consider the positive aspect of a situation, no matter how trivial it might seem.

Dirty dishes in the sink can stress someone out. You can choose to feel frustrated about the chore of unloading the dishwasher and reloading it— and the truth is, a lot of the time, you do. But choosing gratitude changes your whole attitude. You are thankful for the dirty dishes because they’re the result of a nourishing meal. And are extra thankful for the dishwasher because without the machine every single dish gets washed by hand. Deciding to choose gratitude can change an entire situation.





11. Your Boundaries



It’s an exhausting cycle, dealing with toxic beings, a parent, a boss ect ect. However, you never have to willfully agree to put yourself in situations you don’t want to be. You can choose not to overcommit your time or listen to terrible advice from your great-aunt. You even get to choose what attitude you take in setting those boundaries! Your life, your boundaries. And so on.





12. Your Schedule

Being in control of your boundaries also means that you have control over your schedule. You have the ability- and the right- to say no to things you don’t want to do. You get to choose a job based on the hours of work. You get to sift through commitments and dedicate your time to the things that matter to you. Don’t let others dictate how you spend your time: you get to control your schedule based on what works for you. (Unless you have a kid that’s an early riser. Then sorry, but all bets are out the windows!)


And back to Topic.

No. Is a Complete sentence.



13. Your honesty

Even in situations where it feels like your only choice is to lie, you are in control of your honesty. Choosing honesty doesn’t require you to share your every thought and it definitely doesn’t mean you are completely transparent about other people’s information they’ve confided to you. It means you don’t makeup excuses or tell others something just because it’s what you think they want to hear. Maintain your integrity to maintain your character.




14. Your work ethic


In every aspect of your life you get to decide the effort you put into what you do. Be a responsible employee without committing your entire existence to your boss. On the other end of the spectrum, take care of chores at home and do them well the first time so no one is picking up behind you. Find your middle ground and stand firmly there.



15. Your social life

Your social life, or lack thereof, is completely in your control. Whether you classify yourself as an extrovert, introvert, or middle ground ambivert, you can decide who you invest your time in, where you invest that time, and how you do so! Go on the beach trip, visit the nightclub, or stay in for a Netflix binge. Your social life should be exactly what you want it to be.


16. Your body language


A firm handshake helps you present yourself seriously. Controlling your body language helps you in sending the exact message you want others to perceive.
Choose to smile.



17. Your preparedness


There is no earthly way to know what bumps in the road lie ahead. You can’t control natural disasters and personal emergencies. You can, however, anticipate them. You can choose to follow the Boy Scout motto and always be prepared. Keep an emergency bag in your car, with bottled water, a first aid kit, snacks, and tools for minor car issues. When your budget allows, buy an extra bag of dog food for that moment when you scrape the bottom of the food bucket, unprepared, or the store is out of your dog’s brand.

Being prepared for the unknown makes it a lot less stressful when the unknown makes a grand, unwelcome appearance.



18. Your treatment of others


The way you treat others speaks volumes about your character. Your attitude and perception of another person can have a great deal of influence in how you interact with them. In every interaction, you get to choose how you treat others, both in your words and your actions. You even get to choose how you react when others treat you poorly. At times when it feels like your bad day is running your life, remember that you are always in control of how you treat others.




19. Your treatment of yourself

Even when you treat others kindly, giving yourself the same love and grace doesn’t come as naturally. However, you get to decide that it does. You are completely in control of how you treat yourself, so decide to treat yourself with kindness. Everything on this list: your health, your mindset, your boundaries, is about how you treat yourself. You are the author of this story, the potter of this clay, the composer of this song. You get to make each choice in your life, whether they come with a positive or negative impact.

In life, there will always be areas we want to change and influence. Ultimately, the biggest impact you can make comes from your own circle of control. YOU control all of the areas within your own life! Take that power and make your life what you want it to be. Which area in your life do you have the hardest time controlling?


Thank You for sharing.

 

[Ki3ly]

♪ Time to dissolve
Break it down it again
No more sleepy dreaming ♪

 

[soulless_curiousity]

Be honest, what path in life do you believe is most reasonable for those who do not feel connection to others as deeply as the majority.

What do you suppose someone in that situation should do. Line of work, life style, dead or alive, id like to know how we as a community feel about this.

A lot of addicts may be seen this way when a drug is prioritized. And we know they are often alienated, but don't necessarily want to be and often completely do not want to be.

Would the world be better off without those who proudly don't connect? If they do have a place, where on earth would that be.

I think the answer to the question of life paths is going to be highly individual...just because of the nature of the problem. Everyone has a different experience, different desires and different values/priorities.

To speak from my own experience as someone who can't connect to others, I find that advice directed my way tends to be unactionable or condescending. It's easy to make blanket statements about what people should do. But it's a whole lot harder to translate blanket statements into a life plan. And even harder to translate said plan into concrete day-to-day actions.

I'm also skeptical about questions around if "the world would be better off". Because how would we measure that? There's no known method to creating a world where everyone connects perfectly, or where outcasts don't exist.

If we did conclude the world would be better off, what would we do with that information? Try to eradicate people who say they don't feel connection? Force them into a different kind of mindset? Further exclude them from society? Tell them to make their own society and communities? Or do we define lack of connection as a disorder, develop medical treatments?

Conclusion/TLDR: I think attempting to solve this question with any 1 universal answer only leads to more problems. And I hate that because I wish there was an answer.

 

[Ki3ly]

O.P.
A legislator or a project manager however I am sure that you will be great at anything that you do.
Sincerely. You have a great mind and thinking abilities. And a good sense of great wisdom.

And a gift with connecting through inspiration as well. Anyway.

Or find something that is intriguing enough to keep you busy.

Philosopher would be awesome.

 

[KurtAurelius]

I think the answer to the question of life paths is going to be highly individual...just because of the nature of the problem. Everyone has a different experience, different desires and different values/priorities.

To speak from my own experience as someone who can't connect to others, I find that advice directed my way tends to be unactionable or condescending. It's easy to make blanket statements about what people should do. But it's a whole lot harder to translate blanket statements into a life plan. And even harder to translate said plan into concrete day-to-day actions.

I'm also skeptical about questions around if "the world would be better off". Because how would we measure that? There's no known method to creating a world where everyone connects perfectly, or where outcasts don't exist.

If we did conclude the world would be better off, what would we do with that information? Try to eradicate people who say they don't feel connection? Force them into a different kind of mindset? Further exclude them from society? Tell them to make their own society and communities? Or do we define lack of connection as a disorder, develop medical treatments?

Conclusion/TLDR: I think attempting to solve this question with any 1 universal answer only leads to more problems. And I hate that because I wish there was an answer.

I completly agree with you, as it seems to be emerging the vast differences people actually have when they aren’t overtly co ocered into a pattern of thinking I.e a threat of being directly outed and placed in a 19th century lunatic asylum for instance.

I’ve always felt peoples advice to also be condescending and so general with a total disconnect for the many experiences I’ve gone through and the total confusion I’ve had most of my life, at 24 years only beginning to even understand myself and other people somewhat.

Even if differences and disconnect is more common and atleast discussed these days, people are then still socially isolated in a lot of cases..
It’s only a start to express some kind of parting, I.e neurodivergence against the so called grain.

There is so much to do before everyone can be conceivably integrated in a way, in a society that will not take the time to understand them, will label and try to medically treat, with blanket support like SSRIs etc and not even a dialogue or a ear to listen.

Many people can’t listen without waiting to but in with their preconceived notions, and that’s the reason why people don’t feel heard and don’t want to try connect.

If it wasn’t for meeting other heavily autistic, and ADHD peers in real life, I’d be totally on my own socially isolated.

 

[streaM Freak]

.
Edit: Fighting is a drain. Speaking up for yourself is empowering. A bunch of
random criticism is a drain. Being able to hear criticism on your front porch can be empowering.

This reminds me of how, messages that need to get through, will get through. The important things will eventually make themselves apparent.

The way you said it is powerful in its own right because it's so visual it sends the point home nicely I appreciate that imagery.

@soulless_curiousity - It's not main stream to basically say "I don't know" (and trust me I know, my girlfriend used to despise when I said that. I said it so much that she made me a shirt that says "I don't know" on it.).

But I absolutely agree that we should live and let live, deal with what the current issue is without forcing an outcome, because in all of reality who is any one of us, or even a majority of us, to know the exact cause and affect of human beings when we don't even know much about the laws of physics for example.

I believe we are in a transformation phase of civilization, so I completely agree as well with @KurtAurelius about how we have so much we need to do before we, really, do anything.

For example sometimes I watch The Amazing Race with my girlfriend. I find certain things about it entertaining. Well I always say (out loud because I think its that important) that if you're looking for a location, and don't know where you're going, then STOP MOVING, figure it out, THEN go.

Otherwise, any direction in the wrong direction is basically moving backwards.

 

[thujone]

people are kinda mid mostly, they should be having to justify why they imposing not the other way around

 

[thujone]

nowadays it's natural to live in this environment

and unnatural to live in this one

why is that normal?

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

damn I tend to connect too deeply and ppl be like "I dont remember you --- we shook hands once"

Well I vetted and researched you mofo but alright fair enough!

Can't tell you how many people I expected to be in the "Ride or die" category that never really gave a fck about or planned on doing either of those things haha

 

[streaM Freak]

This is much easier on a computer, for my notes to look back on and to spark more discussion:

If what you're expected to connect to is a bunch of toxic melodrama that drove you into the direction of your addictions in the first place, than why would you want to connect to that? That's the opposite of what you want.

It sounds like it is valid to be aware of how toxic connections could lead one to use. And maybe therefore isn't unreasonable to isolate because of it. But if isolation feels right when using, then being more connected might feel right when being sober.

I would likely get a lot higher if I was really alone, so I fight the urge to withdraw into myself chronically.

It makes sense that it would be more difficult when alone. We are the ones who chose to use, whether or not we regret the initial decision, so it's hard to convince ourselves out of it without some sort of change.

So they're praising you on what they need to hear in combination with inattention to your real emotional needs.
This is how you get the excessive need for validation..

But sometimes the Insights don't last that long. It's like a rubber band that stretches out and then springs right back.

This makes me think that, if there is a change in mindset it would ideally be applied in everything they do. Maybe acknowledgement isn't enough and maybe its more difficult for the person to see in how many ways these types of things manifest.

..It's that power as the inner resource inside where you know your next right action and you have the strength and confidence to actually take that action ...

...So this is really what empowerment is, it's not something other people give you.

It's a difficult thing to be aware of what's going on around you without immediately judging if what's going on around you is "good" or "bad". I think if one were having a hard time listening to their own self's voice, more than a surface kevel "i would like this" or "i dont like this" is needed to be analyzed.

For a drug user, it is very simple when you see Heroin replacement studies and if crack smokers were offered Methylphenidate replacement or something similar. They’d fit in well enough to help out and enjoy their lives.

Everyone could be a winner but people’s conservative and flawed reasoning is the reason many suffer.

Everyone having things to contribute is an attitude that is really helpful. We don't need to give everyone our equal energy, but that doesn't mean that anyone is more important than anyone else, because no one person knows what's best for the billions of the rest.

As in knowing to just have a basic mindset like that anything can be possible. As in ... to know, healing is actually possible.

And say you will keep finding what does work that is a positive attitude. That's you know basically all and that any of us has.

And i recall in a different thread you said how healing isn't just going to the spa, it's work and uncomfortable but basically an investment for our future happiness.

You can't continuously always blame everything and everyone else. All of the time. How can something possibly be something and someone elses fault all of the time. And then why would you allow it to be !!!

Yeah, so true. Everyone else can't always be wrong but if it's not helpful in our own recovery why is it necessary to give it our energy?

there's this weird way that when you're not treated like you're a real person like a real child who has real needs when you're a kid like

the whole world conspires to treat you like that sometimes. Not the whole world ....

but you're gonna keep finding a pattern with that. But if you dance around thinking that it's getting the approval that's going

to solve the problem then you're abandoning yourself. Betraying yourself. Losing yourself trying to get somebody to like you or agree is Draining.

So you neither want to avoid conflict or fight everyone there's this Middle Ground.

Maybe like, no one has to be 100 percent correct? And in trying to find things that are "absolute", we lose some of the smaller truths that may support the opposite?

The path that is taken is the path that is chosen. The reasoning behind the chosen path is unique to the individual. I wish when I began my path I could have seen where it was going. If I had known that, I would have chosen more wisely.

Sounds like there is no universal correct path, and we don't ever have 100 percent of the answers even for ourselves?

Not everyone feels their sense of connection via people, for some it's through other vehicles.

So the answer to your question, I think, is identifying where you do feel connection, and making that a bigger life priority.

I didn't understand this at first. Sounds like the immediate gratifying task doesn't need to be directly connected to any one person, but being in the world everything eventually does affect someone and therefore is significant in it's own way?

So sometimes I just have to realize that this is all just a cosmic joke to make it more fun and enjoyable at least. And try to really not take life too serioulsly

I do this too. And it's not a copout it realistically could be true. Or maybe some test of some sort to challenge each of us individually on things that we know is difficult for us and therefore empowering to overcome.

And a gift with connecting through inspiration

I want to remember this.

people are kinda mid mostly, they should be having to justify why they imposing not the other way around

I feel like sometimes people expect things out of us that don't even apply to us.

damn I tend to connect too deeply and ppl be like "I dont remember you --- we shook hands once"

Well I vetted and researched you mofo but alright fair enough!

Can't tell you how many people I expected to be in the "Ride or die" category that never really gave a fck about or planned on doing either of those things haha

This has me sort of question myself but I think my neurodivergent nature to want to get to know people really well before i commit to someone.

But it's absolutely not personal and it doesn't mean we don't appreciate other people, or that we don't hear other people.

Sometimes it's those who don't immediately acknowledge you who actually are paying the most attention. But you're right that some people are just mean, then I'd say they don't deserve your attention.

 

[KurtAurelius]

This is much easier on a computer, for my notes to look back on and to spark more discussion:



It sounds like it is valid to be aware of how toxic connections could lead one to use. And maybe therefore isn't unreasonable to isolate because of it. But if isolation feels right when using, then being more connected might feel right when being sober.



It makes sense that it would be more difficult when alone. We are the ones who chose to use, whether or not we regret the initial decision, so it's hard to convince ourselves out of it without some sort of change.



This makes me think that, if there is a change in mindset it would ideally be applied in everything they do. Maybe acknowledgement isn't enough and maybe its more difficult for the person to see in how many ways these types of things manifest.



It's a difficult thing to be aware of what's going on around you without immediately judging if what's going on around you is "good" or "bad". I think if one were having a hard time listening to their own self's voice, more than a surface kevel "i would like this" or "i dont like this" is needed to be analyzed.



Everyone having things to contribute is an attitude that is really helpful. We don't need to give everyone our equal energy, but that doesn't mean that anyone is more important than anyone else, because no one person knows what's best for the billions of the rest.




And i recall in a different thread you said how healing isn't just going to the spa, it's work and uncomfortable but basically an investment for our future happiness.



Yeah, so true. Everyone else can't always be wrong but if it's not helpful in our own recovery why is it necessary to give it our energy?



Maybe like, no one has to be 100 percent correct? And in trying to find things that are "absolute", we lose some of the smaller truths that may support the opposite?



Sounds like there is no universal correct path, and we don't ever have 100 percent of the answers even for ourselves?



I didn't understand this at first. Sounds like the immediate gratifying task doesn't need to be directly connected to any one person, but being in the world everything eventually does affect someone and therefore is significant in it's own way?



I do this too. And it's not a copout it realistically could be true. Or maybe some test of some sort to challenge each of us individually on things that we know is difficult for us and therefore empowering to overcome.



I want to remember this.



I feel like sometimes people expect things out of us that don't even apply to us.



This has me sort of question myself but I think my neurodivergent nature to want to get to know people really well before i commit to someone.

But it's absolutely not personal and it doesn't mean we don't appreciate other people, or that we don't hear other people.

Sometimes it's those who don't immediately acknowledge you who actually are paying the most attention. But you're right that some people are just mean, then I'd say they don't deserve your attention.

@Ki3ly has been saying a bunch of mega things that I’ve been coming back on here to reread, and trying to remeber too.

I had a few days break from here as they made me release l have spent so long distancing myself from my feelings. Trying my best to sit with them and keep going.

@chippermonk is also on the mark. My drugs use is always the worst when I am alone and I always wish to retreat into myself. I came into some unexpected money and i keep noticing the cravings to spend a couple days in a opioid haze. I’ve kept to my mark by understanding that temporary bliss will bring me nothing, and likely will cost. I’d love to take 210mg DHC ands spend a whole day nodding out, but it’s teaching me nothing about tolerating distress and beginning to understand my feelings and then other people without being distracted by constant sensation seeking:

 

[streaM Freak]

Yes, health is work and an investment in our future

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

If you are a substance user it can be expensive too -- the drugs that dont kill you tend to be pricier and harder to get.

Alcohol is just accepted and will lead to death almost every time if used to excess daily.

 

[Ki3ly]

Mesmerizing

It is.

Thank You.

Yes, health is work and an investment in our future

 

[thujone]

I feel like sometimes people expect things out of us that don't even apply to us.

reminds me of a funny saying that's something like, you don't measure a fish by how fast it can climb a tree