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I Kissed a Squirrel

This was never the way I planned
Not my reality
Walking in the park, lunch in my hand
He looked up and smiled at me
It's not what I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
It's called bestiality

I kissed a squirrel and I liked it
The taste of his hairy black lips
I kissed a squirrel just to try it
I hope PETA don't start no riot
It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
French kissed a squirrel but I like it
But I liked it
[don't judge, you know you've had worse]

Don't even know what you're about
You're another species
You shoved your nuts right in my mouth
And they tasted like feces
And sure beneath those tender paws
I let you have your way
Those anti-sex-with-animal laws
Hard to obey

I kissed a squirrel and I liked it
You're intrigued, don't even deny it
I kissed a squirrel just to try it
There goes my vegan diet
It wasn't straight, it wasn't gay
Don't mean I'm in love today
Don't knock it until you've tried it
'Cause I liked it

Those squirrels are so adorable
Big brown eyes and mouths so kissable
Furry bodies so explorable
Too good to ignore it
I lost control and I just went for it

I fucked a squirrel and I liked it
Except the part where he bit my left tit
I hope that squirrel don't have rabies
'Cause now I'm pregnant with six of his babies
He had a tiny dong, thank god I'm tight
I got some bushy tail tonight
I kissed a squirrel and I liked it
I liked it
 
“...there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there." - Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
“...there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there." - Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho
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"..until I see that a young whipper snappers business card is the perfect, off-white egg shell color, i start to seeth under my skin and begin losing all control."
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think" - Dorothy Parker
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Some more from her:

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”​

“She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.” (about Katherine Hepburn after the performance of a play)​

-"Ladies Thirst, Part Three"
 
I miss being Happy on The Holidays. Thanks for helping out with that.

How does chaos magick even work ! They say you attract what you fear. Ahhh big booty witches ahhhhh
so scary omgggg --- Myass Isyuge
 
The best portion of your life will be all insignificant nameless
moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

--- Margarita Ville


So much of what we take in is small, simple and mushy. For some of us bigger, better and more are all we need.
It's okay to be happy with a Yes life ...
 
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Whiskey N Pot
 
All quotes from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carol. I find them very relatable/thematic of either my BDP, eating disorder, or addiction [or a combination thereof]:


"Well, it's no use your talking about waking him", said Tweedledum, "when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you're not real."
"I am real!" said Alice, and began to cry.
"You won't make yourself a bit realer by crying," Tweedledee remarked: "there's nothing to cry about".
"If I wasn't real," Alice said - half laughing through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous - "I shouldn't be able to cry."
"I hope you don't think those are real tears?" Tweedledee interrupted in a tone of great contempt.


"...burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again."


"Life was so much simpler, thought poor Alice, when one wasn't constantly growing larger and smaller"

"Who are YOU?" said the Caterpillar
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, "I-I hardly know, Sir, just at present - at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
 
"Mine chilled dairy beverage bringeth all the gentlemen to the property and they proclaim, that it is superior to thine, to reiterate, it is superior to thine; I could provide thee tutelage, but wouldst require compensation" - Kelis Shakespeare
 
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