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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 What Was YOUR Nightly Fix? v. Smoking the Midnight Oil

Tonight I took gabapentin and entered the portal where I then saw incredible foreign cities.

Then I also had:
The usual boring scripts
Methadone
Fentanyl (yeah I know, but I did it around people who have narcan)
Methamphetamine
A whole bunch of good vibes from my friends and my dog
Tuna sandwiches
Nicotine

Anyone else get great CEVs from gabapentin?
 
Nas47 said:
Thank U Mishoku...everything(Opies,benzos,AD drugs) is better to tapper,but I am already fine-fivth day...I have been on trams only about two months,but the doses often exceeded 400mg.
..tram/apap....very cheap and OTC here...just made a cwe....30 minutes and I got an almost pure tramadol liquid...got valiums as much as I want..so very easy to slip down the slope...if I have got access to some weed like four-five years before it would be much easier to push through the day...but hey it's alright....be safe friend❤️🙏
Click to expand...
Where do you live that has tram OTC? Im assuming eastern europe?
Not trying to source btw
 
Gridlink said:
Anyone else get great CEVs from gabapentin?
Click to expand...
Yes pregabalin and gabapenting gave me quite unique CEVS, especially when combined with sleep deprivation + cannabis

Mostly random imagery though, like moving through a tunnel made out of colorful cables or seeing plants, rocks, weird animals, purple and green splodges of colour. It sounds more intense than it is, really its kind of like my minds eye gets turned up x20 but I cant really control what I visualize

I once saw a boat sail through my bedroom wall on 900mg lyrica and 600mg vyvanse + some weed, now that was fucking interesting
 
TheLightBringer said:
Where do you live that has tram OTC? Im assuming eastern europe?
Not trying to source btw
Click to expand...
Shit pllace from the Balkans...same shit...only Greece is little bit better..it's tram/apap-37.5/325...pure tram is prescription..Pregabs, gabapentine is OTC too.....but,but...I live in small rural place,pharmacists know me...and give me...in big cities is other case-they will want u to show script-ordinary script...but still script..so officially they are not OTC....but prescription drugs,but with paper script...others-benzos,z-drugs..even antibiotics are with electronic script only...so nobody could give u .....even if they know u
 
Just had myself and absolute cracker of a shot of heroin. Fuck I can't get over how nice it was for how big it was. Would have only been 0.1g and I got a gorgeous rush and am high as a kite. We were talking and I was really struggling to keep my eyes open.

He gave me a few pipes of meth right beforehand, I shot a point of meth this morning too.

Only thing I can say is I had 1 1/2 fake xanax(ethylbromazolam)presses this afternoon but there's no way it had that much of an effect on this shot.
That was some damn good smack!
He said I can get as much credit as I want til payday too but I'm going to use as minimally as possible. I've been owing too much lately and not that they worry about it but it's leaving me with less money than I'd really prefer to have. I'd like to get some coke to cook into freebase next week and still have money left.

My dealer is a good man, he genuinely likes me a lot, asks me about my life and personal problems and my opinion on matters he wouldn't trust other people with and clearly actually cares. Not many people like that out there let alone dealers.

I feel really, really nice from this stuff it was totally unexpected and a real treat at the right time considering the state of my life, my mental health, my finances and how likely it is for this person to have that quality, giving me that size and everyone else having garbage.

I'm very grateful to the spirits, God, higher power, my imagination. Whatever is out there because I always seem to get what I need when I'm in a state bad enough. And I don't mean drugs. Sometimes it's just a hug offered when I haven't asked but am in need for sure. The other day a few random people on the street asked me if I was on and I fucking wasn't at all but I thanked them because I'm not sure I would have done the same as I'm usually in my head but due to PTSD I don't speak to people I don't know often as I'm scared to. But these people truly cared and I feel that ultimately God sent them to me because they're what I needed.
Another saying that can often feel like total bullshit when your in the thick of it but
"God gives his toughest battles to his hardest fighters and he will not give you anything you can't handle"

Now yeah I know, kids with cancer, single mums without enough help and people unnecessarily suffering all over the world. But I really do agree in some cases that that statement is often right in many ways and also gives me to confidence, drive and feeling of being loved to keep on keeping on.
And maybe then I can get my life out of the gutter so I can help these other people I mentioned who aren't getting what they need and are currently incapable of helping themselves.

Life is good. I very nearly, very seriously almost killed myself last week.
My partner and eventual fiance of 3 years and the absolute love of my entire life. Left me with no warning, all I got was a txt saying "You always taught me to put myself first. I need help and I'm not coming back" It absolutely fucking killed me and my heart exploded and it felt like my chest was a painful, empty cavity.
For 3 weeks I'd been trying as hard as I could to push past any fears I had relating to ending my life, there were very few but some still remained and I just wanted to not care and have the courage to end it and stop what seems like an entire life of beyond extreme pain, PTSD, depression, anxiety, fear, hopelessness and abandonment.
I just wanted it over and done with.

But then over the past 3 days I've had a kind of spiritual awakening and have been able to see the gift life truely is. I've started being accountable for things I should have done better in our relationship. I've recognised some reasons why it's better he is not here(his safety being one, I was terrified and mostly sure that drugs would end his life, and I introduced him to heroin not to mention he is 59(I'm 35 male too) and has chrohns disease). I tried to set boundaries and tell him I'd no longer shoot him up as he couldn't do it himself. He would beg me and I eventually managed to stop helping him IV meth or coke and got him to plug it as I felt they would more likely cause a stroke or heart attack but I found it very hard to deny him heroin because as long as I didn't overdose him he would more than likely be ok from that, but the thing is I overdosed him twice and once we thought he'd actually died and my PTSD is significantly worse after that but I still kept doing it for him because I was scared if I said no he would leave me. Funny how things turn out!

I also now get to focus on me, getting me better, becoming a version of me that I respect, admire, that I feel like a good person, like a real man. Someone with boundaries and not a person who puts drugs in front of every relationship and other human being. Also someone who does drugs responsibility, without a death wish. Without selling all my things to buy them, without lying, manipulating, becoming aggressive, using outside of my means etc. I'm not sure I plan to fully stop at least yet but I do plan to put many rules and boundaries in place to prevent firstly my untimely demise. But also unhealthy behaviours and to actually make it fun or fulfill the intent of why I'm using the drug(trauma relief, anxiety, heartbreak, celebration, pain, socialising, focus and motivation etc etc) and worthwhile!
Drugs have become a way of life, I cant do anything without them, the total reason why I use them has become skewed and twisted and I know that changing this which i also know I can do, will change my entite life and if at some point stopping them becomes more beneficial for me to live how I want and have the things I need, then im willing to do that.
I'll never put drugs in front of someone I love though because if I ever do Falk in love, that person means more than anything to me and I'll do whatever is needed to keep them, and that includes loving and treating them the way they deserve which I regrettably didn't do with Ray and if I could turn back time I'd do so much different. But now I just have to be grateful for the lesson he taught me in leaving that I should have done better and in some ways I knew how I operated was wrong but I naively thought he'd just tolerate my shit forever coz he loved me to death too. But I guess something clicked and he chose himself. Which I'm so proud of him for and I absolutely wish him the best in life. Thinking about him with another man is still enough to make me want to die but it's not a plan.

Life goes on, as long as I do drugs in the way bluelight has taught me over the past 20 years. If I ignore what I know, I'm done for.
 
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I'm feeling incredibly stupid rn..
So tonight I went for
Cannabis oil
22 mg SR-17018
Another 1,5mg Bromazepam
And trying 25mg of Melperon
My benzo supply is drying out, so maybe this time I can tolerate the AP...
Another little hit of K
 
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Did some rapé, was a fun project going from seed to tobacco to drying it and mixing it with herbs and ashes. Very relaxing, highly recommend the combination of rapé + meditation

Did not measure my dosage but I think Ill try 100mg next time

Time for bed
 
Feeling numb as hell, but in a bad, sad kind of way if that makes sense? Benzos are weird man, I want fucking opiates so badly man. Anyways, so far this evening:

- 5mg oral diazepam
- 10mg snorted diazepam
- bunch of vaped weed
- melatonin + CBD melt tablet

Thought the misery was over, or at least calmed down, but nope. So mad at myself for having fucked up so many things and now I have to stay under strict supervision all Christmas break.

The only thing I worked myself into a near suicide attempt, was those 3 days of having the house to myself. To just fucking breathe for once, to go out and actually have fun using substances instead of tweaking tf out alone in my room damnit.

Well anyways, spend most of today snorting through half a gram of speed. Trying so hard to move out, I can’t stand it here anymore.

On the positive side, I have a temporary psychologist who actually fucking listens. For now, I just don’t give a fuck anymore. Need to survive long enough to move out, tired of this survival mode.
 
So far this evening:

- bunch of vaped CBD, 8% thc weed
- 1 line 3-mmc (untested, probably not 3-mmc)
- 1.5 lines 2-mmc

Didn’t sleep a single bit despite the benzos, weed and all the usual bullshit that used to at least give me a few hours of sleep even after copious amounts of speed, but at a point I’m just accepting the sleeplessness I suppose.

Had a decent morning, but man I’m fucking up my speed tolerance badly damn. Got some stuff done at least and felt happy for a bit.

Then got way more stoned than intended right before getting called downstairs for dinner, panicked and did a line of untested 3-mmc, guessing 3-cmc, maybe 2-mmc, idk. Sucks to not even have the freedom of movement to do the slightest bit of harm reduction, hoping one of my friends can help get my shit tested.

Survived dinner, just want to forget everything for a moment and remembered I still had some 2-mmc laying around and fuckk, I hate and love that shit. Still hoping to source some real 3-mmc, but chances are low.

Might do some ketamine later, craving a peaceful k-hole experience. For now I feel good, might do some more 2-mmc too because damn I missed this rush.

Hope y’all having a decent evening, idk if it’s just me, but shit always goes down right before the Holiday season I swear :’)

Edit:

- 1 line of K
- bunch of vaped silver haze weed
- 1 line 2-mmc

Idk tf this mixture gonna be, but uhh yeah, going on a little trip, K is hitting damn
 
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After bingeing through the day finished it with ~8 mg Diazepam boofed with PG, 22 mg of SR-17018 and another 10 mg Ketamine i.m. ... Guess I won't reduce my tolerance by just adding the SR to all the stuff I'm taking anyway 😒. It really stops the physical WD but at least for me not the cravings...
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
After bingeing through the day finished it with ~8 mg Diazepam boofed with PG, 22 mg of SR-17018 and another 10 mg Ketamine i.m. ... Guess I won't reduce my tolerance by just adding the SR to all the stuff I'm taking anyway 😒. It really stops the physical WD but at least for me not the cravings...
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Sucks that the sr-17018 isn't a magic bullet, but I am glad to see the diazepam with PG is working!

Seems like a lot of people in this thread are going through some serious shit lately... I just want to say my heart goes out to you all and I will hold some positive thoughts for you. even though I don't know any of you I value seeing everybody's posts, they really bring me up when I am down and I hope my posts can do the same. I don't exactly know what I'm trying to say here except that, in the words of Winston Churchill, "when going through hell, keep going."

As for me, I am taking a little tolerance break from a lot of drugs, so tonight it is just:
A shit ton of gabapentin
A shit ton of pizza

I nearly ate a whole pizza and I am not exactly a big dude, so it was impressive. I also ate enough gabapentin to visit gaba town when I close my eyes. Gaba town is a fascinating place to explore, but I think the gabapentin was also the culprit that caused me to fall asleep on the toilet. Oops.
 
0.75g middling street fentanyl, IN
12oz French roast [+ 4oz half+half]
210mg dextromethorphan [90mg HBr, 120mg polistirex]
37.5mg doxylamine succinate
8mg loperamide
2400mg valerian root extract
20mg THC (per os)
20mg CBD (per os)
~7g kratom
~0.1g Tahoe OG, smoked
~250mL 13,5% ABV red vino
1 Rolling Rock
nicotine, 2,4% solution vaporized

---REDOSE---
0.4g same middling street fentanyl, IN
2x 2400mg valerian root extract
60mg melatonin
120mg dextromethorphan polistirex
20mg THC (per os)
20mg CBD (per os)
~125mL 13,5% ABV red vino
1 Rolling Rock
50mL Jim Beam
~0,25g Tahoe OH, smoked

Pinned.
 
ind33d said:
0.75g middling street fentanyl, IN
12oz French roast [+ 4oz half+half]
210mg dextromethorphan [90mg HBr, 120mg polistirex]
37.5mg doxylamine succinate
8mg loperamide
2400mg valerian root extract
20mg THC (per os)
20mg CBD (per os)
~7g kratom
~0.1g Tahoe OG, smoked
~250mL 13,5% ABV red vino
1 Rolling Rock
nicotine, 2,4% solution vaporized

---REDOSE---
0.4g same middling street fentanyl, IN
2x 2400mg valerian root extract
60mg melatonin
120mg dextromethorphan polistirex
20mg THC (per os)
20mg CBD (per os)
~125mL 13,5% ABV red vino
1 Rolling Rock
50mL Jim Beam
~0,25g Tahoe OH, smoked

Pinned.
Click to expand...
Do you notice the kratom at all? Since your tolerance is high enough to do 1.15g fentanyl, I assume its cut to shit though. Even so its a lot of fentanyl even at just 1% is 11,5mg fentanyl…
 
TheLightBringer said:
Do you notice the kratom at all? Since your tolerance is high enough to do 1.15g fentanyl, I assume its cut to shit though. Even so its a lot of fentanyl even at just 1% is 11,5mg fentanyl…
Click to expand...

Some general caveats here:

1. I am presently doing something more along the lines of chipping than consistently using - as such, I have an active tolerance, but not at the moment to the extent of having a full-throttle dependence, to opioids; hence the dosage/combinations;
2. but in the context of a multi-decade stretch of use - including substantial IV use of heroin and later fentanyl - and extensive medical exposure; thus extensive tolerance to opioids;
3. and by "street fentanyl," I mean whatever the hell it might be that adequately passes as "dope;" I typically take all potential unverified "fentanyl" to mean "fentanyl and/or analogues thereof";
4. the dosages for fentanyl (IN) are listed in sum, for the entire evening; i.e., the 0.75g and 0.4g figures represent the amount consumed over the evening since that is how I usually go about dosing it - frequent small lines over time, sort of titrating to desired effect), rather than just a couple of really, really fat lines.

Do I notice the kratom - yes, absolutely. I'm not new to kratom use, but I still don't have a good grasp on how it actually feels and especially on its own. But after some recent glowing experiences adding 7-OH mitragynine to a regimen similar to what I posted I lately returned to my kratom stash to swap into the rotation. The effect is similar though milder: it seems to greatly and generally enhance the experience of whatever substances I'm taking, while adding its own bit of what remains to me a kratom je ne sais quois dimension.

If you mean specifically do I notice something of the [partial mu-agonist/delta- and kappa-antagonist] opioid effects of the kratom, given the "fentanyl" co-administration - yes and no. No as in not so much explicitly (at least on the mu front), but yes in terms of what I am seeking in an additive/complementary effect. I am more or less looking to strategically saturate and tickle a certain binding affinity and efficacy profile - call it amateur in vivo [self-]applied pharmacology, haha [and it's totally unethical!]. Theoretically, the kratom and loperamide assist to that end.

I wouldn't describe this street fentanyl as cut to shit per se - but rather, intentionally mixed with a single readily soluble non-psychoactive diluent to allow for manageable dosing. Cutting a 250mcg line of genuine fentanyl would of course be impracticable and totally unsatisfying as an act.

But that just happens to be the case for this bag. Attempting to quantify street fentanyl as a pharmaceutical-quality fentanyl dosage is a fraught enterprise indeed. The grave reality is that I cannot imagine even roughly how much or even of what fentalogue I am dosing. I end up going by trust in my source and lived experience of harm reduction, e.g. that titrating to desired effect always spiel.
 
Feeling empty, numbing myself with nicotine, sex and attention only works for a moment.

Part of me misses the real drugs sometimes, I crave going completely off the rails and going fucking crazy, losing myself to the lifestyle again and the simplicity of just living to get high every day.


Anyways just smoking a bunch of cigarettes tonight, feeling some type of way, ODing on opiates doesnt sound so bad right now


Hope yall are staying safe though ❤️
 
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