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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Could i be addicted?

Mizzyarbor

Mizzyarbor

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 14, 2021
Messages
13
I was wondering could I be considered a functioning addict? I do cocaine pretty regularly. Alot more frequently the last 3 years due to convenience. I usually try to purchase a certain amount around pay days and i budget it like a bill. I will buy more if the finances are there or before the two weeks if I go overboard sooner. I have not ever sold or asked for money to buy. My bills are paid on time before I buy. But it is the frequency of my purchases. Also my adult children who don't live with me are completely unaware of my frequent usage I have been high around them several times or coming down from a high in there presence. Am I considered an addict?
 
BadBoy377 said:
Yes, you could be.

How many days a week on?
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Usually weekends every two weeks..sometimes more if I run out beforehand. If I get 4.5 I can make it last the same amount of days. But if I get out of hand and blow it all before the weekend is over, then I get more. No less than a band since I have to drive to get it.
 
BadBoy377 said:
Yes, you could be.

How many days a week on?
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Usually weekends every two weeks..sometimes more if I run out beforehand. If I get 4.5 I can make it last the same amount of days. But if I get out of hand and blow it all before the weekend is over, then I get more. No less than a band since I have to drive to get i
jasperkent said:
Non-addicts don't generally wonder
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jasperkent said:
Also, one could be dependent on a substance without it causing problems. The real question is not how much or how often, but how does it affect other aspects of one's life.
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Not much but its the mental part not the physical. I can go without if I choose to but the convenience is there. I can honestly, state that I do have some good things that have come from it. Like working gives me more focus. But it doesn't help when I need to calm my body down to sleep.
 
jasperkent said:
Non-addicts don't generally wonder if they're addicts. Addicts debate the issue constantly.
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Oh I debate it more than I need to with reasons to back up why I started. I hate the word addict especially when people make the assumption that addicts are bums homeless jobless and do.any and everything for the high. Everyone knows cocaine is not cheap so I have to work to afford it.
 
Mizzyarbor said:
Usually weekends every two weeks..sometimes more if I run out beforehand. If I get 4.5 I can make it last the same amount of days. But if I get out of hand and blow it all before the weekend is over, then I get more. No less than a band since I have to drive to get it.
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So 3/14?

In which case if you want my opinion probably not. But like @jasperkent says if you're asking the question you're considering it might be a problem.

Doesn't sound too bad tbh. It's a fair dose though. If you're doing that long term it's probably gonna do some damage somewhere?

What would happen or how would you feel if you couldn't do it on that second weekend?
 
jasperkent said:
Non-addicts don't generally wonder if they're addicts. Addicts debate the issue constantly.
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Love that.

I know there are varying definitions. We all have "real" things in our life that truly matter to us. Family, friends, a dog, maybe you just love hiking.

As soon as any of that takes a backseat to using Cocaine, that is when to worry in my opinion.
 
Mizzyarbor said:
I was wondering could I be considered a functioning addict? I do cocaine pretty regularly. Alot more frequently the last 3 years due to convenience. I usually try to purchase a certain amount around pay days and i budget it like a bill. I will buy more if the finances are there or before the two weeks if I go overboard sooner. I have not ever sold or asked for money to buy. My bills are paid on time before I buy. But it is the frequency of my purchases. Also my adult children who don't live with me are completely unaware of my frequent usage I have been high around them several times or coming down from a high in there presence. Am I considered an addict?
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Like has been said, if you can put it down and not touch it with no problem prob not. But if you cringe at that prospect or know deep down you couldn't, then yes you probably are. It's ok there's hundreds of us out here ready to give support if thats what youvwant.
 
I would try to avoid even catagorizing yourself.

Anyone has the potential to eventually become addicted.

It's a warning sign when you start planning so meticulously to use, but don't let that eat away at you, it's quite hard to stop using drugs like coke.

I'm not sure what else to say. Aside from, without making yourself feel guilty, don't forget about your kids.
 
I'd say it's a continuum between non- addicted/addicted. Maybe for some folks it's a quick shift from one to the other, but for me I think there is a grey area in between where you are not really addicted and you can lay off of it, even for weeks at a time, but you think about it and want it and plan around doing it, and it doesn't ever fully leave your mind. At that point I am outwardly fully functional and probably not doing much harm to myself. No one notices, I fulfill my obligations. But I can see how easy it is for usage to increase and how drugs interfere in little hidden ways with my life.
You clearly are thinking about the issue and worrying about it, and this is helping you keep limits on it, which is a great protective coping mechanism. But of course that can all shift if you're not really careful, and meanwhile I get the feeling that you're beating up on yourself over it.
I, too, ask myself all the time if I am becoming addict. It's an unpleasant and negative way to live with that question in your mind, but I think it's good that you are asking yourself. I myself have cut back a lot, and I'm thinking maybe I'd be happier to go further. That doesn't necessarily apply to you, but I hope you make a choice that is best for you.
Good luck ♥️
 
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I feel like a good general rule is that if you have to ask if you have a problem then there is a pretty damn good chance you have a problem
 
Do you just really enjoy it, or do you feel like you HAVE to have it? If you didn't have access for awhile, would you think 'oh well what a shame' or start obsessing over getting hold of some?

If the latter applies, then you're an addict. Frequent use alone doesn't make an addict, your relationship to the drug is what makes the difference.
 
Mizzyarbor said:
Usually weekends every two weeks..sometimes more if I run out beforehand. If I get 4.5 I can make it last the same amount of days. But if I get out of hand and blow it all before the weekend is over, then I get more. No less than a band since I have to drive to get it.
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I have pretty much unlimited access to extremely pure cocaine (my best friend buys a half ounce pretty regularly). I have been doing a quarter gram once a week lately.

But I am much older and have an enlarged heart, so I should not be doing it at all. When my son comes home to visit from college I make 100% sure not to do to while he is around. I don't do any drugs whatsoever around him. Also, my wife's mom has cancer so it is pretty much just me by myself most of the time.
 
Mizzyarbor said:
I was wondering could I be considered a functioning addict? I do cocaine pretty regularly. Alot more frequently the last 3 years due to convenience. I usually try to purchase a certain amount around pay days and i budget it like a bill. I will buy more if the finances are there or before the two weeks if I go overboard sooner. I have not ever sold or asked for money to buy. My bills are paid on time before I buy. But it is the frequency of my purchases. Also my adult children who don't live with me are completely unaware of my frequent usage I have been high around them several times or coming down from a high in there presence. Am I considered an addict?
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Yes.
 
streaM Freak said:
I would try to avoid even catagorizing yourself.

Anyone has the potential to eventually become addicted.

It's a warning sign when you start planning so meticulously to use, but don't let that eat away at you, it's quite hard to stop using drugs like coke.

I'm not sure what else to say. Aside from, without making yourself feel guilty, don't forget about your kids.
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Ok, what is you definition of addicted because physical addiction to SSRI users and most who are in a really bad accident or worse fire and skin grafts and all that.
Of course they will become physically addicted but not necessarily psychologically. Opiods and benzos addict many physically but if they could just stop they would.

Benzo, wd's can kill you. You can't just stop them; after years and then finding out on here how bad they are, used constantly for years( legally prescribed).

What if you have a condition that without opiods; you would be in agony and useless, because of a rare genetic disease?

Are you talking just about coke? What if you hate stims and know that for a fact?
 
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