Well the next week i reach 16 months and i’am still inside this “dream”, the reality and perception is blunted like if i’am inside a lucid dream, i keept a very little sexual function but now it’s completely gone, i don’t even masturbate anymore, the chemical castration is now complete.
I don’t live anymore seconds by seconds, minutes by minutes, hours by hours, it’s just like a dream, a forever present where all it’s blunted and you just jump from a scenario to another without any kind of connection or continuation..
I think the brain cannot heal this kind of damage, blocking 80% dopamine, 80% serotonine, alfa 1, alfa 2, GABA, norandrenaline it’s a “non-turning point” from my experience.
The time goes on and pass, but not the damage, it just got worse over the time you will lose even what you have left, until a day you have nothing more to live for.
I have completely lost my bare minimum sexual function left, now i’am completely chemical castrated, tinnitus came out after 13 months, so in my case there is no improvements but things only get worse over time.
I think they killed me and my fate is cursed, but you know what? I don’t care anymore, i don’t give a shit honestly. They can keep killing people like that like they did to brokenself and me, and many others out here, i don’t give a fuck honestly.
I’am (or i was) a chess player and when the game is over i just shake your hand and i accept i lost, so i will do the same about that brain damage. I just promised myself i will wait until 24 months before suicide, I have 8 more months ahead of me, i will keep updating.
! I just saw the picture you have a whole army of snails Brother! I have never seen them as children before, what fascinating creatures.
