Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v11

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They are convinced it helps. Psychology and psychiatry are very new schools of thought and their methods are still very crude. They do not intend to do evil, but its really anger inducing when you tell them you are sufferimg and they dont care. Or when you tell them these new side effects youve developed SINCE the medication and they try to tell you these are side effects of your illness and want to give you even more medicine. I learned to keep my mouth shut and just cross off the days on the calendar.
It's ableism in its purest form. Our civilization hates schizophrenic and bipolar people a lot. These diseases can be very bad and scary, and that's used to justify reversible lobotomies. I have no idea why it's a get out-of-jail-free card in psych wards, it should never be used like that. It should be used only as a last resort. Some people with severe schizophrenia are actually functional and happy on invega sustenna, so I'm not against removing it entirely, but it should be known that it can do horrible things to people without schizophernia. It should never be used in bipolar or isolated instances of psychosis like mine. I know a couple bipolar people who had it and it fucked them up for a while.
 
If an authoritarian regime ever comes to the United States they WILL exploit the mental health program of our nation. It is the quickest, easiest, and surest way to absolve all your rights as a free citizen, discredit you, disable you, alienate you, and make you dissappear forever. We MUST speak up.

It's already here and they are making moves to do just that, starting with involuntary commitment of homeless people and drug addicts. Then they will move on to anyone who "can't take care of themselves" i.e, people with stuff like level 2 and 3 autism and down syndrome living with their parents, even though that arrangement is fine and more beneficial than living in a mental hospital for them. I'm trying to get undiagnosed with schizoaffective to avoid such a thing. As more time passes, the more clear it becomes that I don't have it. I just need to get my shit together and contact my ally who will help me.
 
everything hurts. I don’t want to die but what other choice do I have? Genuinely, it’s pure torture and I don’t see an end to it.
The shame is so powerful. It hurts
 
This morning i felt terrible. Very restless and fatigued, but right now in the evening I feel the most energetic since the injections and not as restless. Maybe I am going through withdrawel. 50 days since my last injection.

The hot baths I am taking could be working more than I thought, I sweat so much during and after them.
 
Neurogenesis Activities:

How to force your brain to grow more neurons and connect.

*Exercise (aerobic, most potent)
Classical Music (listening)
Art (drawing, painting, sculpting, digital)
Strategy Games (starcraft, ages of empire)
Playing a musical instrument
Learning a new language
Coding
Chess
Advanced wood working
Dual N Back
Learning any new skill
Exploring
 
everything hurts. I don’t want to die but what other choice do I have? Genuinely, it’s pure torture and I don’t see an end to it.
The shame is so powerful. It hurts
Your other choice is to simply wait. Do you have friends and family?
 
I ripped through Alien Earth like a lil baby xenomorph last night and today and I was completely engaged in a way I had not been. It made me cry a lot, and it made me want to go hug my niece. It made me terrified and pissed off, and it also deeply touched me. Good shit.

I stopped smoking weed again because my wisdom tooth extraction is next week for real this time. Cannabis suppresses your emotions a little, I recommend using it (as long as your psychosis wasn't caused by chronic mental illness) and then quitting.

I am worried quitting will fling me into psychosis again, but we will see. If it does, I might have to quit for good. If it doesn't I'll take that as confirmation that it was Straterra and not quitting weed that did it.
 
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