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Stimulants VERY long term amphetamine/meth recovery and adhd

Halif2 said:
There are plenty of people on this forum that really do give a fuck because they understand what it can be like.

In my experiences of trying to get help with addiction and mental health issues through the medical system, I have come face to face with plenty of healthcare workers (doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists and such). Some of them were excellent and very sympathetic while others were actually awful, but none of them has ever been able or willing to empathise with me and my situation. Psychiatrists may be experts in the theory of brain chemistry and the impact of substances, but if you want to be "seen" by people who really understand, you need to come to Bluelight.

Anyway, this is such a sad situation OP. I'm sorry I can't offer you any practical advice, but I am really hoping that things pick up for you. Keep us posted on your journey!
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Honestly just to hear someone be so kind and respectful as to take the opportunity to reply.... its deeply humbling and greatly appreciated.... you are a lovely human and dont let anyone tell you different xxx
 
cleft said:
As long as schooling and work remain atrociously repetitive, designed to breed obedience and predictability, there will be a reason to consume (meth)amphetamine. Unfortunately, any suggestion for reform is met with "that will never happen", and poor souls like OP are faced with a choice between social stigma and torturous meaningless routine. Honestly, I don't think OP should stop with amphetamines unless they disrupt regular sleep and food intake.
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You make a valid point. Within just less than 3 months it will either be get back on them so i can function and get a job.... or don't and fade away into unbeing
 
cleft said:
@dj303 Your problem is two-fold. First, you need to stop your meth and alcohol habits. If you're having trouble with that, then consider ibogaine. Be careful with alcohol, since withdrawal can kill you. Second, you need to find work that you somewhat enjoy. This is gonna be the biggest challenge. Start small. Anything that gets you out of the house is great progress. The motivation that meth gives you is fake, there's nothing interesting in the regular reality that will get you excited on that level.

Your story sounds very similar to CJ Kid on YouTube, and watching him is gonna be painful for you. He said that recovery took him several years, and he dreamed about smoking meth again. Several years of boring low energy mode of living. That's what it takes to be in the 5% who recover from severe meth use. 95% fail.
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Dude... in the most loving way... i haven't touched meth or street amphet for almost 4 years xxx
 
Leprechaun said:
You need direction and support. Here's a quick high level program.

1. Get into a drug support program with other drug addicts or users. (It can help learning and building social connections)
2. Feed your mind motivational nutrition. (Support podcasts, motivational speeches) This will provide mental nutrition so you can build a good foundation.
3. Feed your body with nutritional meals. Remove processed foods, whole steamed or raw vegetables and fruit. Remove all refined carbohydrates.
4. Try to fix your sleep schedule so you get around 7-8 hours sleep.
5. Prepare a slow but steady physical exercise program. Start by telling yourself you'll go for a 30 minute walk every day and once a week, push this up a little, perhaps a light jog for 10 then 20 minute walk. Try to get into strength training (weights) after a month of this slow incremental growth.
6. Have a goal at the end of the year in mind, and understand it's a LONG ROAD.


Good luck! DM me if you want support, I'm happy to provide some more help.

I've never known or discussed a situation with someone who has used psychostimulants as long as you, not sure of the route of administration and doses. But change and growth CAN happen and WILL happen if you go towards it.

<3
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@Leprechaun you are an absolute legend and i deeply appreciate you. Will dm you too cause there's stuff i dont wanna say on an open forum. Much love
 
Very very tired now.... hope i havent left anyone out. If i have know that im just shattered and not that i aint grateful.....

I appreciate everyone's words of wisdom deeply......

If i had any to share myself it would probably be threefold.....

1) tyranny is the deliberate removal of nuance. Dont get sucked in to seperating humanity into those that are good and those that are evil

2) get out of your feedback loop. Current algorithms are designed to separate us. Tribalism is utterly destructive. It is a gift to yourself and humanity in general to actively seek out opinions that aren't your own.

3) kindness is empty unless you offer it to people you actively don't love or agree with
 
First I have to say very sorry for your loss. I don't think you mentioned that you had lost your wife before. Or I just missed it. That really makes me think a lot of what you are going thru could be tied to a severe depression as well. As you've said you've been off amphetamines for close to 4 years. Losing my kids father is part of why I got so depressed I couldn't function. It's also the main reason I relapsed after 17 years of sobriety. Is therapy and possibly trying meds for depression an option or consideration for you?
I do think you've gotten some pretty good advice here as far as what you can try. You know there is hope for you. You wouldn't be here, asking about this if there wasn't. You might not get many of the older crowd who have gone thru this just because they aren't reading the posts. If you aren't getting what you're really looking for here, try another posting with who you'd like to talk to in the main title.
I know you have a short amount of time to basically put yourself back together but it can be done. It might be hard, especially getting the motivation to start, but I have faith. I also understand the ADHD not being treated can make things so much more challenging. If the meds you got (that was a very low dose btw) aren't working, do you have other coping mechanisms? Setting limits to how long you'll do something, using timers, changing your diet, even things like sitting on an exercise ball instead of a chair can help. I have 2 now adult kids who both have ADHD. But you have a deadline. You have a timeframe that you have to either get it together or lose what you have left. I said before you have to participate first things to change. Could you maybe try a peer coach or a companion who could help you get started? Just a thought.
I know the things I'm saying right now aren't exactly what you're looking for. I'm just trying to be supportive in a way I can be, with the little knowledge I have.
And you're very welcome for having your back. Anytime.
 
I am sorry you had to go through that mate. I am 36 - got diagnosed last year - I take vyvanse and Dex and it's changed my life.

what I recommend you so is talk to your psych about increasing the dose - maybe to 70mg vyvanse and Dex booster.

also exercise. seriously find a form of exercise you love - doesn't matter what it is. and do it daily. eat well..sleep well.

and I think you will find your meds will work better. but I have a feeling that you have such a big tolerance to amphetamines you might just need a higher dose.


edit: also I read you are a big dude. man I am 71kg and 5'11". and I need 70mg of Dex and a 10mg booster.

you are on waaaaaay too small a dose. way way way too small. I am in Australia and it's quite easy for me to discuss my dosage with my GP and psychiatrist. hopefully it's the same for you.
 
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In those 4 years, how long was it before you got your stimulant script? When did the drinking become full fledged?
 
dj303 said:
Hi there.

I have been on this forum for decades on and off. But really find myself at a desperate point in my life.

Sorry if this is a little verbose but i need to explain context.

I am almost 50 years old.
I had severe ADHD undiagnosed until i was almost 35.

i began (although i didnt know at the time) self medicating with amphetamines when i was 13 years old. It changed my life. Suddenly i went from bottom to top of almost all classes at school.

I am from the UK so we are decades behind the USA in terms of adhd.

My problem is... my amphetamine use got bigger and bigger and eventually i was using methamphetamine for almost 20

Now, i have actually managed to get clean. 3 years, 7 months and 14 days now but that is ONLY because i had an extremely beautiful and supportive wife who had a VERY well paid job and could support me when realistically i could achieve very little.

I have recently got an adhd prescription for dexamphetamine 20mg but it literally does nothing. I have experienced close to ZERO improvement in my energy, motivation, anhedonia, focus, or ability to look after myself in almost 4 years.

I struggle to even eat, excersise, socialise, wash, i can barely even cope with hobbies, socialising, or even the things that used to be fun and make up a fundamental part of my identity.

Objectively, i have enough savings and enough benefits to keep this apartment for 3 months at BEST, after that i have no friends and no family who would be able to take me in.

Is there ANY hope?

Is there ANY way to recover from 30 years of huge amphetamine use?

Please, i am not looking for advice for those of you who have experienced one or two years of big amphet use. I appreciate all of you, but I'm wondering if there are any old cats out there who have found a way through?

Otherwise for me, it means probably getting back on the amphetamines which i really don't want to do

Again. So sorry for the long post.

Yours lovingly and respectfully....

Dj303
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Just showing my support my brother, much love one day at a time :)
 
Hey everyone.

Firstly I want to humbly and profoundly offer my deepest gratitude for every single person that has taken the time to respond in this thread.

Secondly I need apologise for the long periods of in between my posts and my responses...there's a lot going on right now and it takes a lot of mental energy to formulate my replies.

I promise I will respond to everyone individually as soon as i can.

A little update, and a flicker of hope for me whilst scrabbling around in the dark;

I have managed to successfully get my psychiatrist to significantly increase my dosage of my adhd script (dexamfet 20mg twice a day now) which is double than before.

I collect my script this week so fingers crossed that will help me dramatically... I will report back as soon as I can.

Again, much gratitude and love. Hopefully my new script will help me to respond to all you lovely people.

Love light and respect.

Dj 303 xxx
 
dj303 said:
Hi there.

I have been on this forum for decades on and off. But really find myself at a desperate point in my life.

Sorry if this is a little verbose but i need to explain context.

I am almost 50 years old.
I had severe ADHD undiagnosed until i was almost 35.

i began (although i didnt know at the time) self medicating with amphetamines when i was 13 years old. It changed my life. Suddenly i went from bottom to top of almost all classes at school.

I am from the UK so we are decades behind the USA in terms of adhd.

My problem is... my amphetamine use got bigger and bigger and eventually i was using methamphetamine for almost 20

Now, i have actually managed to get clean. 3 years, 7 months and 14 days now but that is ONLY because i had an extremely beautiful and supportive wife who had a VERY well paid job and could support me when realistically i could achieve very little.

I have recently got an adhd prescription for dexamphetamine 20mg but it literally does nothing. I have experienced close to ZERO improvement in my energy, motivation, anhedonia, focus, or ability to look after myself in almost 4 years.

I struggle to even eat, excersise, socialise, wash, i can barely even cope with hobbies, socialising, or even the things that used to be fun and make up a fundamental part of my identity.

Objectively, i have enough savings and enough benefits to keep this apartment for 3 months at BEST, after that i have no friends and no family who would be able to take me in.

Is there ANY hope?

Is there ANY way to recover from 30 years of huge amphetamine use?

Please, i am not looking for advice for those of you who have experienced one or two years of big amphet use. I appreciate all of you, but I'm wondering if there are any old cats out there who have found a way through?

Otherwise for me, it means probably getting back on the amphetamines which i really don't want to do

Again. So sorry for the long post.

Yours lovingly and respectfully....

Dj303
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Get a bike working your legs helps release testosterone will make you feel better i promis and it fun
 
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