My god-satan was Alprazolam, because I've got addicted, but for me big doseges were more focused on the moment when it was kicking me and gave me feeling that i feel calm finally and even if some sick shit was happening in my life that was my way to cut it of with it. That was the big pleasure of alpra. Later i was using it in social situations, like taking 1mg before something important. It was making me fearless and with low dosages I felt like a queen, Alprazolam is Maserati or fuucking red mustang between benzos, if you know how to use it.
But more 'for fun', basic on my experience:
1.Lorazepam - mixed with alcohol can provide you experience like you riding a bike without holding handlebars. But if you take to much - I mean both, one of them or if you mix too much for example actually pretty high dosage of Lorazepam, and then i reminded myself, that i have a date. But ofc after benzo I was like 'ill take a shower, do skincare, makeup and Im going), ended up that i Met this guy( turned out he was decent guy, really nice on), and we've got wasted that night, but he saw that im drunk as hell and ordered me uber to my apartment. I know we had good time, because every time he was visiting my country we were seeing each other, till he found himself a girlfriend. But the worst fact is that I almost completely don't remember it. I remember i met him, he asked me when i would like to go, I suggested my fav drink club, then we were in the middle off the conversation, then i have flashback that we are walking to find another place, and because im local i told him about another one. I remember this coctail club well, then i remember parts of conversations. Then I remember, that he Was putting me into bolt and told me that he will call me tomorrow and we will se each other in 2 days for a dinner. I was trying to remind myself something more. But amnestic side of this large dosage of lorazepam + alcohol unfortunately, didn't let me. SO - Lorazepam is kinda party benzo, because for example I didn't feel sleepy after it. But if you want to take lorazepam for recreation use - remember thats it is so easy to fall into amnesia, and holes in memories next day, especially if you'll drink being on lorazepam
2.Diazepam - weak for me, but its better than xanax because it works so long. But o liked to take like 2 pills every two days, I was chilled, nice, it was harder to make me angry. I am quite nervous person, and diazepam was turning me into 'and what? calm down? type of person. Plus some diazepam before event like houseparty works good, I didn't get anxiety, talking to people and socialasing, even if I am already social person, was even easier.
3.Alprazolam - satan's toy, and my biggest addiction. I said at the beginning how I was using it. I was mostly taking higher and higher dosages home alone just to stop thinking, but sometimes small dosage was making me Queen, I was eloquent more than I'm usually, I felt like I'm irresistible, all my stress was out, the way I was moving was like I'm gonna rule this world and social situation weren't scared me. Once I met Foreign guy who was also xanax prescribed, for his anxiety, and no idea about my benzo adiction, so we were xanax togeter, or we were taking some crushed pills and we were adding them to our drinks in drink bars, when no one was watching. This mix always made us lazy, we were just sitting on some couches on some pubs, drinking and don't care about shit, so we have deep conversations or we were talking about stupid random shit. But still - the way i was using it alone lead me to addiction, but at the beginning, in stressful situation, or when I felt anxiety and couldn't focus myself on working on my computer, half a pill was able to make me think 'thats easy, I'll do this asap' and I could focus. As I sed - alpra is a Mustang between benzos, but onlly if you want how to use is wisely, if you stop control it - its like a cirohraph.
3.Clonazepam - im using it as an emergency medicine now(ONLY AS EMERGENCY MEDICINE), I mean if i feel like seizure may come, im using it putting a pill under my tongue.
But before they left me only clonazepam(now im not using to have fun, during rehab i wanted to kill myself if i only have a gun, now im a nice, addict free girl), at the beginning, during rehab they took me even that, After rehab they control how much do I take. How does the fun after clonazepam looks like? From my experience - if you cross kind of border, your muscles, you walk like jelly sometimes, so its easy to fall, Its really easy to loose your balance or stumble on the stairs(once i fall climbing up the stairs, after clonazepam). And also, clonazepam is amnesic - similar to lorazepam, but sometimes you can eat a lot of clonazepam, and you will feel like youre acting normal, acting weird at the same time. Or youll black put and wake up on the other side of the city. In general - too high dosages of clonazepam may bring you serious problem, and you may even don't remember what happend
4. Estazolam - shitty, tried and for me only worked as a relaxing, Sleeping pill.
