CavernsoftheMind
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2024
- Messages
- 262
In the following I would like to show you an old trip report I wrote at the age of 15. As you can see from my approach and possibly the writing style, I was quite inexperienced with drugs at the time and therefore still had difficulties procuring them, but still had the desire for “weirdness”.
The TR should be read in this context.
I don't know what I was thinking consuming such a high dose. This could have killed me.
Tl:dr: Never DPH without an experienced trip sitter! It was extremely dangerous, could easily have been fatal. Seizures can also occur with such a dose. DPH addiction is one of the worst addictions (see r/DPH)
Okay, here it is:
It's afternoon, I want to trip. So, off to the nearest pharmacy to buy a 20-pack of Emesan tablets. I have a friend of many years who, although he has nothing to do with drugs himself, is open to the whole thing and doesn't mind me tripping in front of him. He was supposed to be my sitter.
We go to a playground (it's quite secluded, there are very few children there) and I take all 20 tablets, i.e. 1000mg DPH. After leaving the playground, the plan was to go to the department store and then to my buddy's house.
The effect slowly sets in - I just feel like shit. I'm nauseous, I feel shaky, I'm suddenly in an extremely bad mood and I just want to crash. So I say to my friend, “I'm not feeling too well, I'm going home quickly on the bus.”
Unfortunately, he didn't have the experience to stop me...
So I get on the bus.
BLACKOUT
I'm standing in the middle of a large square in the city center. It's pitch black. It was about 2:30pm when I took the pills and it was winter, which means it must be at least 5:30pm because of the darkness. How did I get here?
“Wow, so these are the blackouts you always read about!” “Why is it dark?” These were the first thoughts that popped into my head.
The feeling of suddenly appearing in this place reminded me a bit of the depiction of a teleport in TV shows, it felt like I had been ripped away from one place and reappeared a millisecond later in a completely different place.
“I should go home...”
BLACKOUT
I'm standing at a bus stop. The disturbing thing is, the bus stop was about 4km away from the place I was before....
This time I didn't think anything... It was still dark and an older man was talking to me... He had a strong accent and I could barely understand him, but still tried to follow him as far as I could to avoid appearing to be on drugs.
In hindsight, I'm pretty sure the man was real.
He talked to me about which bus I wanted to take, when it was coming, typical bus stop small talk. I usually answered with “Yes” or “Mhm.” without really knowing what he wanted from me.
Then the conversation was probably over, he was suddenly reading a magazine. Then he suddenly seemed to ask me something, something like “Which people in this magazine do you like the most?” I'm not sure what he was asking, but it certainly prompted me to point to a random person in his magazine and say “That one!”
Satisfied with my answer, I looked at him expectantly. “What about that one?” He asked. Shit. He hadn't been talking to me, I'd just imagined the question.... “I didn't understand you acoustically!” I said in response... Embarrassing...
To distract myself from the topic, I looked at the electronic bus display board. It normally shows when the buses are coming. Wait, the board that was there before had disappeared! I just couldn't see it anymore! Annoyed, I said “Great, now the bus schedule has disappeared!” The old man looked at me in amazement and told me when my bus was coming. Again, very embarrassing...
BLACKOUT (Thank God.)
I'm still standing at the bus stop, the bus I wanted to take was already there and the old man had probably already got on.
He said, “Don't you want a ride?” “Yes, I do!” I said in surprise and ran to the bus driver to open the door for me. “Sorry,” I said and sat down on the bus.
BLACKOUT
From here on, all my memories started to get mixed up and I didn't know what was real and what wasn't...
I was at the main station and followed a somewhat junky-looking man. He probably wanted to show me where the bus stop for line “13” was. Why? I have no idea. Line 13 wouldn't have helped me get home. I continued to follow the man anyway because I didn't want to upset him. He was arguing with a woman, he shouted at her “Stop it, I'm just showing someone who doesn't know the stop!!!”. I laughed.
BLACKOUT
I was somewhere, I don't know where it was...
I walked down a street, looked to my right and there was a kind of garden where a very strange-looking man was lying in a deckchair. This was extremely surprising as it was dark and winter... He said to me “How do you know Dennis (he said the name of a friend, name changed)?” I felt threatened and said cautiously, “We used to go to the same school!” He replied: “To the FBI school, right?” I replied: “No!” He: “Watch what you say!!!”
I walked on.
BLACKOUT
I walk down another street, the buddy the strange looking man mentioned earlier was with me. They were following us.
I was terrified. They want to shoot us.
There they are!!!
My buddy hid in some bushes, I ran away.
Phew, they didn't see us....
BLACKOUT
I was back in the middle of town. An older couple said to me “Come with me to the department store!” So I followed them. As I was standing in the department store, the couple said “Why did he follow us now?” Panicked, I left the building again.
BLACKOUT
Still in the city, a friend was with me. It was the one who was there at the beginning of the trip, the one who was supposed to be my trip sitter. We hurried through the old town, but somehow we always seemed to go in circles and kept coming back to the same point where we'd started... For the first time, I started to think more realistically "Am I stuck on this trip? Will it always be like this?"
Thank goodness for a
BLACKOUT
before I could think about this horrible thought any longer.
I was still in the city, my buddy gone.
I was in a mass of people, they were really quite close to each other, so I tried to make my way through the pile.
To me, it looked like I was easily passing people, but every time I tried to avoid a person, I rammed into them at full speed. I apologized politely each time, but a few seconds later I rammed into the next person. During one crash, I accidentally caught a young woman's crotch with my arm, she giggled and I moved on in amazement.
BLACKOUT
I'm standing outside my front door, feeling somewhat normal again.
Small flashes flash through my field of vision for another hour or so and I'm still anxious, but mostly exhausted and confused. Very soon I go to sleep.
That was the trip. Reality and fiction blended beyond recognition, paranoia, fear, confusion dominated everything.
Edit: I just remembered that the whole trip I thought I'd dropped something (MP3 player, wallet) and when I tried to pick it up, I reached into the floor, I hadn't dropped anything. This happened to me easily 10 times and I was really angry in the end when I reached for the asphalt again.
The TR should be read in this context.
I don't know what I was thinking consuming such a high dose. This could have killed me.
Tl:dr: Never DPH without an experienced trip sitter! It was extremely dangerous, could easily have been fatal. Seizures can also occur with such a dose. DPH addiction is one of the worst addictions (see r/DPH)
Okay, here it is:
It's afternoon, I want to trip. So, off to the nearest pharmacy to buy a 20-pack of Emesan tablets. I have a friend of many years who, although he has nothing to do with drugs himself, is open to the whole thing and doesn't mind me tripping in front of him. He was supposed to be my sitter.
We go to a playground (it's quite secluded, there are very few children there) and I take all 20 tablets, i.e. 1000mg DPH. After leaving the playground, the plan was to go to the department store and then to my buddy's house.
The effect slowly sets in - I just feel like shit. I'm nauseous, I feel shaky, I'm suddenly in an extremely bad mood and I just want to crash. So I say to my friend, “I'm not feeling too well, I'm going home quickly on the bus.”
Unfortunately, he didn't have the experience to stop me...
So I get on the bus.
BLACKOUT
I'm standing in the middle of a large square in the city center. It's pitch black. It was about 2:30pm when I took the pills and it was winter, which means it must be at least 5:30pm because of the darkness. How did I get here?
“Wow, so these are the blackouts you always read about!” “Why is it dark?” These were the first thoughts that popped into my head.
The feeling of suddenly appearing in this place reminded me a bit of the depiction of a teleport in TV shows, it felt like I had been ripped away from one place and reappeared a millisecond later in a completely different place.
“I should go home...”
BLACKOUT
I'm standing at a bus stop. The disturbing thing is, the bus stop was about 4km away from the place I was before....
This time I didn't think anything... It was still dark and an older man was talking to me... He had a strong accent and I could barely understand him, but still tried to follow him as far as I could to avoid appearing to be on drugs.
In hindsight, I'm pretty sure the man was real.
He talked to me about which bus I wanted to take, when it was coming, typical bus stop small talk. I usually answered with “Yes” or “Mhm.” without really knowing what he wanted from me.
Then the conversation was probably over, he was suddenly reading a magazine. Then he suddenly seemed to ask me something, something like “Which people in this magazine do you like the most?” I'm not sure what he was asking, but it certainly prompted me to point to a random person in his magazine and say “That one!”
Satisfied with my answer, I looked at him expectantly. “What about that one?” He asked. Shit. He hadn't been talking to me, I'd just imagined the question.... “I didn't understand you acoustically!” I said in response... Embarrassing...
To distract myself from the topic, I looked at the electronic bus display board. It normally shows when the buses are coming. Wait, the board that was there before had disappeared! I just couldn't see it anymore! Annoyed, I said “Great, now the bus schedule has disappeared!” The old man looked at me in amazement and told me when my bus was coming. Again, very embarrassing...
BLACKOUT (Thank God.)
I'm still standing at the bus stop, the bus I wanted to take was already there and the old man had probably already got on.
He said, “Don't you want a ride?” “Yes, I do!” I said in surprise and ran to the bus driver to open the door for me. “Sorry,” I said and sat down on the bus.
BLACKOUT
From here on, all my memories started to get mixed up and I didn't know what was real and what wasn't...
I was at the main station and followed a somewhat junky-looking man. He probably wanted to show me where the bus stop for line “13” was. Why? I have no idea. Line 13 wouldn't have helped me get home. I continued to follow the man anyway because I didn't want to upset him. He was arguing with a woman, he shouted at her “Stop it, I'm just showing someone who doesn't know the stop!!!”. I laughed.
BLACKOUT
I was somewhere, I don't know where it was...
I walked down a street, looked to my right and there was a kind of garden where a very strange-looking man was lying in a deckchair. This was extremely surprising as it was dark and winter... He said to me “How do you know Dennis (he said the name of a friend, name changed)?” I felt threatened and said cautiously, “We used to go to the same school!” He replied: “To the FBI school, right?” I replied: “No!” He: “Watch what you say!!!”
I walked on.
BLACKOUT
I walk down another street, the buddy the strange looking man mentioned earlier was with me. They were following us.
I was terrified. They want to shoot us.
There they are!!!
My buddy hid in some bushes, I ran away.
Phew, they didn't see us....
BLACKOUT
I was back in the middle of town. An older couple said to me “Come with me to the department store!” So I followed them. As I was standing in the department store, the couple said “Why did he follow us now?” Panicked, I left the building again.
BLACKOUT
Still in the city, a friend was with me. It was the one who was there at the beginning of the trip, the one who was supposed to be my trip sitter. We hurried through the old town, but somehow we always seemed to go in circles and kept coming back to the same point where we'd started... For the first time, I started to think more realistically "Am I stuck on this trip? Will it always be like this?"
Thank goodness for a
BLACKOUT
before I could think about this horrible thought any longer.
I was still in the city, my buddy gone.
I was in a mass of people, they were really quite close to each other, so I tried to make my way through the pile.
To me, it looked like I was easily passing people, but every time I tried to avoid a person, I rammed into them at full speed. I apologized politely each time, but a few seconds later I rammed into the next person. During one crash, I accidentally caught a young woman's crotch with my arm, she giggled and I moved on in amazement.
BLACKOUT
I'm standing outside my front door, feeling somewhat normal again.
Small flashes flash through my field of vision for another hour or so and I'm still anxious, but mostly exhausted and confused. Very soon I go to sleep.
That was the trip. Reality and fiction blended beyond recognition, paranoia, fear, confusion dominated everything.
Edit: I just remembered that the whole trip I thought I'd dropped something (MP3 player, wallet) and when I tried to pick it up, I reached into the floor, I hadn't dropped anything. This happened to me easily 10 times and I was really angry in the end when I reached for the asphalt again.
