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Relapse Had a mad idea earlier to test my tolerance of crack I chain smoked ....

Ex-Cracker

Ex-Cracker

Bluelighter
Joined
May 17, 2024
Messages
938
Location
U.K.
Decided to test my crack tolerance yesterday until about 20minutes ago got 2g of HCl cooked it up and chain smoked the lot other than a 20 minute break after .6 then chained 1.4g flat out non stop huge resin hits went well beyond bellringers and now feel slightly nauseous and a bit stupid for bothering in a way but also have learnt an honest lesson not to repeat such an amount for a while as almost doubted myself in the fact I would handle such amount chain smoked but did , spunked too much money to be honest and I don't advise anyone trying such an amount or more, if you have ever done as much or more chain smoked, do reply with your amount of pure crack and how you felt again in the sake of harm reduction I advise no-one to attempt to push themselves in such ways, I seriously feel fucked off and stupid in doing so, and at 50 years of age possibley not good on the heart, feedback and replies will be respected 🙏 to you!
 
Your welcome, sorry I didn’t write much … I’m actually coming off a relapse of some bullshit and not myself lately. But I wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I only smoked crack a couple times in life, like just a couple hits when my ex used to cook it up & sell it. I have however done lots of coke in my past … like to the point I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. That was many moons ago though, but swear I can still smell that shit on money sometimes.

Anyways yea it’s hard when you relapse with something … like figuring out the balance between being mad at yourself and feeling compassion for yourself. I didn’t realize I needed compassion for myself until I wrote what I wrote to you. So thank you for giving me the opportunity to have compassion for myself and others 💜
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
Your welcome, sorry I didn’t write much … I’m actually coming off a relapse of some bullshit and not myself lately. But I wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I only smoked crack a couple times in life, like just a couple hits when my ex used to cook it up & sell it. I have however done lots of coke in my past … like to the point I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. That was many moons ago though, but swear I can still smell that shit on money sometimes.

Anyways yea it’s hard when you relapse with something … like figuring out the balance between being mad at yourself and feeling compassion for yourself. I didn’t realize I needed compassion for myself until I wrote what I wrote to you. So thank you for giving me the opportunity to have compassion for myself and others 💜
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Thank you and your compassion for me, warmly appreciated🙏
 
Eventually went to sleep after binge, have woken up, gone to store for food, now home and feeling a lot better and refreshed, I won't be repeating a binge like yesterday again, surprised my heart and lungs coped, lesson learnt, take care guys
 
It was the straw that broke the camels back to quote a proverb! Decided on make or break time, deleted both suppliers phone numbers and blocked them. I can't be bothered or happy with continuing my crack habit, in ways it was building up for last couple of months, the buzz, interest and change of mental thoughts had gone, and having the last blast of over 2g chain smoked in my pipe actually pushed further the realisation that it is not for me anymore, the last of my money I have left is going on stocking up food and not just rice and bread, im getting lamb, fish,cakes hummus cheese etc and I will treat myself to a takeaway or even a meal out not expensive but a needed treat and also will try cutting down on the rum, I don't get blind drunk and consume litres of it and be an arsehole any more but still will cut down. I'm going to start planning taking bus trips out of my town every so often for a change of scenery etc, I quoted in a thread the quote of Dr John Cooper Clarke a while back about drug use which was/is "first it's fun, then it's not, then it hell" he is right. I was on various drugs batin early to mid 1990s , ended up in the mental hospital and after only drank. But then I have been only smoking crack for the last 15 years, I know it's not a long time compared to many users but fuck it it's been too long, can't be bothered with the ups and downs of it and the financial cost and the health of my lungs and I have my mental health issues to consider, and now im going to throw my crack pipes in the refuse bin and have some food. And get my head straight as a priority, hope you folks are swell and dandy 🙏
 
just a coker 01 said:
It was the straw that broke the camels back to quote a proverb! Decided on make or break time, deleted both suppliers phone numbers and blocked them. I can't be bothered or happy with continuing my crack habit, in ways it was building up for last couple of months, the buzz, interest and change of mental thoughts had gone, and having the last blast of over 2g chain smoked in my pipe actually pushed further the realisation that it is not for me anymore, the last of my money I have left is going on stocking up food and not just rice and bread, im getting lamb, fish,cakes hummus cheese etc and I will treat myself to a takeaway or even a meal out not expensive but a needed treat and also will try cutting down on the rum, I don't get blind drunk and consume litres of it and be an arsehole any more but still will cut down. I'm going to start planning taking bus trips out of my town every so often for a change of scenery etc, I quoted in a thread the quote of Dr John Cooper Clarke a while back about drug use which was/is "first it's fun, then it's not, then it hell" he is right. I was on various drugs batin early to mid 1990s , ended up in the mental hospital and after only drank. But then I have been only smoking crack for the last 15 years, I know it's not a long time compared to many users but fuck it it's been too long, can't be bothered with the ups and downs of it and the financial cost and the health of my lungs and I have my mental health issues to consider, and now im going to throw my crack pipes in the refuse bin and have some food. And get my head straight as a priority, hope you folks are swell and dandy 🙏
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Thrown both pipes in the refuse and feeling joyful and proud, looking forward to more food shopping in the day and eating, going to get my old slow cooker out of storage at some point and get some recipes off internet and get my head in to interest of cooking different meals, going to try basics first, of some tex-mex, traditional British meals, European and Indian and Asian for interest. And also in the time I have otherwise which is a lot as being unemployed will start studying all different types of history and documentaries, sport, global affairs and more, not going to watch anymore drug documentaries or films as I want and need to start reprogramming my brain with different subjects other than drugs and anything related to them.
 
I’ll say it here too - I wish you ALL the success in the world :)

Stick with it dude.. ride it out. Cravings are gonna be tough. As you know. But keep rolling.
 
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pixies+ said:
I’ll say it here too - I was you ALL the success in the world :)

Stick with it dude.. ride it out. Cravings are gonna be tough. As you know. But keep rolling.
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Thanks for your support, care and advice, I have been on bl for just over a year as far as I remember, constantly on the crack and first of seemed to be thinking it was all big fun and clever, but I joined as part of my mind I knew it had to end, and through conversation and reading threads it hit a point of going mad on it then click it all fell into place and that it was time to stop. Thanks again and 🙏 to you
 
I’ve had my smoke cracking days, but I was far more into iv use. But god damn do I ever know the struggle. It was never my “thing” but I definitely understand.

Your body is going to thank you man.
Stay with it, stick to recovery forums - or whatever you have to do to try not to trigger yourself. And most of all… get and stay healthy :) ❤️
 
pixies+ said:
I’ve had my smoke cracking days, but I was far more into iv use. But god damn do I ever know the struggle. It was never my “thing” but I definitely understand.

Your body is going to thank you man.
Stay with it, stick to recovery forums - or whatever you have to do to try not to trigger yourself. And most of all… get and stay healthy
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T


Yes, I have gladly got to this moment, are you still enjoying your bar b q burgers?😀
 
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