🤝 Cultural 🤝 Talk me out of the feeling that society has drilled into me for feeling guilty about responsible pharma drug use

[Deleted member 290563]

I fear getting cancer knowing treating the pain will be difficult without taking 2000mme daily and half of that being IV dosing.

There is no way in fuck I would go through cancer or something like a broken spine in the American medical system.

and since we dont own our own bodies and euthanasia is illegal some poor hotel cleaning lady will be cleaning by brain matter off the walls of a 4 seasons suite.

America is a truly ugly disgusting place not so much because of the injustice that goes on because much of the world is uglg, so that isn’t unique about us; but because of the way it’s so effectively hidden and the population is deluded into thinking this country has liberty and people actually matter….until the day they find themselves on the receiving end of whatever morality based anti science bullshit these Christians have poisoned our policy with.

Like I mentioned earlier the only silver lining I see in all this is these type of people that spent their whole lives having the mindset we are criticizing, strapped to their death bed begging for death and being denied meds and being denied death itself, and being slowly tortured as long as possible for our for profit healthcare system. That’s the only justice in all of this, a bunch of random nobodies strapped in a bed and having that realization that they are going to be used as cattle to be milked rather than die with dignity.

 

[Deleted member 290563]

^ I am used to my BP/Pu getting that high. Once I take Clonidine, Ativan, and other heart meds it returns to safe levels. This was a great way to cause a patient to not go to the hospital when they feel the need to.

I do not tell many people about the meds I take because it is none of their business. I know they will pass judgement because they do not understand chronic pain syndrome and what we deal with daily. The fight to have a decent quality of life is neverending and exhausting. Adding heart disorders and chronic eye infections to chronic pain syndrome is not glorifying. Being disabled unable to work is not lucky to not have to go to work. Trying to work full-time with all this is difficult.

I fear getting cancer knowing treating the pain will be difficult without taking 2000mme daily and half of that being IV dosing.

The other thing that really disappointed me is the lack of advocacy for medical autonomy in America. You only see it with any steam in abortion/contraceptive rights and even there they are not even winning the battle.

You’d think for health care you pay for yourself at far higher prices than the rest of the world you’d get some more liberty. No.

These populations like “right to die” and “chronic pain” are much smaller, stigmatized (again this is rooted in religion imo)…and the advocacy being done is garbage.

I don’t know how far of a leap this is but I really see all these problems as rooted in how Christianity has poisoned the wests barometer on morality and letting that barometer make policy.

“Sanctity of life” is more important than suffering of existing life. Life has no inherent value imo and it existing just for the fuck if it seems to be what we base our moral code off of and this trickles down into issues like abortion and euthanasia.

Then “self denial” another big one, especially among Catholics. It basically promotes suffering as a virtue.

It’s not like doctors and all politicians are religious but this cancer has permeated our culture so badly that it’s just there even if the person capitulating to it isn’t some religious nutter.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

stfu @DeathIndustrial88

I'll fuckin' kick your ass, black homosexual male sex worker.

 

[Deleted member 290563]

I'll fuckin' kick your ass, black homosexual male sex worker.

I’m confused if you’re joking, are you two friends or do you think he’s retsrded also?

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I’m confused if you’re joking, are you two friends or do you think he’s retsrded also?

We've been friends for a long time. I know a different side of Krinkle than most people on here do.

He can be crass though & doesn't usually have the same in depth conversations the rest of us do on here, but I've had them with him elsewhere. I think he just likes to piss people off on here. He already knows how I feel about how the US treats drugs & drug users, but he don't like it when people talk shit about America, cause it's so great or something something. Me however, will be the first to criticize the American government. I don't care how "great" America might be in other areas, it doesn't excuse their bullshit in other areas. It's like saying "communism is good" because it has one or two good ideas, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna go rooting for communism & ignore all the bad things about it, because of it.

He don't have any dependencies though, so of course he doesn't get impacted by the "War on drugs" the same way we do. But I bet if he was a slave to a Shitboxone clinic for 10 years, he might be singing a different tune about America & it's drugs policies.

I however still remember when "America" wanted to lock me up at 22 years old & give me a felony for having 3 baby pot plants.
I personally don't have any national pride. Cultural or heritage-wise, sure., but I just don't care really. America is suppose to be the "land of the free", but we aren't anymore free than most western countries & all people should be free to do with their body as they want no matter where they are really. We're all on this stupid rock spinning in space together & if some one wants to get high in America or they wanna get high in Africa, nobody should be able to stop them.

 

[Them Witches]

I encountered this story this week. A lady I know was Rx'd a new muscle relaxer and CVS said she had to wait 7 days until July 1st to fill it. CVS makes up their own rules and plays with people's health. The lady being hard headed will not take my advice and go to my small independent pharmacy.

I stopped going to CVS when they said I should have 5 tablets left on my Rx so I had to wait til tomorrow to fill. It was the 30th day of the Rx. My current pharmacy will fill all of my Rx's 2 days early without a question. My doctor doesn't mind because he doesn't have to increase my Rx count and I am able to have extra doses for breakthrough pain.

Even with Lunesta filling 2 days early, one tablet a day yet I am able to get 2 free per month. With the Roxi 30's, I am able to get 12 extra tablets per month.

 

[Deleted member 290563]

But I bet if he was a slave to a Shitboxone clinic for 10 years, he might be singing a different tune about America & it's drugs policies.

I

He wouldn’t. their patriotic shit is the real virtue signaling going on.


They actually hate what America really is today (they hate it for the freedoms it does now have, not the ones it still lacks) and their professed love of it is for what it used to be in the 1950s

dude seems incredibly dim based on anything I’ve ever read of him.

 

[Deleted member 290563]

I encountered this story this week. A lady I know was Rx'd a new muscle relaxer and CVS said she had to wait 7 days until July 1st to fill it. CVS makes up their own rules and plays with people's health. The lady being hard headed will not take my advice and go to my small independent pharmacy.

I stopped going to CVS when they said I should have 5 tablets left on my Rx so I had to wait til tomorrow to fill. It was the 30th day of the Rx. My current pharmacy will fill all of my Rx's 2 days early without a question. My doctor doesn't mind because he doesn't have to increase my Rx count and I am able to have extra doses for breakthrough pain.

Even with Lunesta filling 2 days early, one tablet a day yet I am able to get 2 free per month. With the Roxi 30's, I am able to get 12 extra tablets per month.

Yes filling a script for even gabapentin at CVS feels like going to court to litigate a case.

Independent pharmacies are the best.

But also non-national and more regional big chains are pretty good too I’ve found.

These big pharmacies like CVS need to be sued for denying patients medicine. I don’t understand how the lack of advocacy on this front is so lacking.

But there’s this one law professor Jennifer Olivia of UC SF has done some fantastic ground work basically showing how illegal all this discrimination against patients on scheduled medicines is. I love her work. I fantasize about quitting my career sometimes and studying under her and practicing in her area and devoting my existence to going after these fuckers.

Nobody has actually applied this legal rationale in court though to get after these fuckers though. But she’s laid some great groundwork.

 

[Them Witches]

But there’s this one law professor Jennifer Olivia of UC SF has done some fantastic ground work basically showing how illegal all this discrimination against patients on scheduled medicines is. I love her work. I fantasize about quitting my career sometimes and studying under her and practicing in her area and devoting my existence to going after these fuckers

Good look out on this information. I am going to look her up and study what she has to say. If she has a contact email address available, I will send her some stories of interest.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

He wouldn’t. their patriotic shit is the real virtue signaling going on.


They actually hate what America really is today (they hate it for the freedoms it does now have, not the ones it still lacks) and their professed love of it is for what it used to be in the 1950s

dude seems incredibly dim based on anything I’ve ever read of him.

Yeah, usually people's responses are 'Well at least you're not in Mexico/insert any perceived 'shittier' country here".

But I think it's a cop out. Just cause America is better in X,Y,Z ways, doesn't mean it should be immune criticism or scrutiny. Especially when it comes to the issue of bodily autonomy, people's health & well-being & the "law:", which apparently only applies to poor people & the rich can do whatever the fuck they want.

Ironically, I'd be a hell of a lot more of a productive member of society if I could actually take what I wanted.

Suboxone was kind of a trap for me. I knew I needed to be on some kind of opioid long-term or even the rest of my life & it was the only option I was given by our country.

And here I am 10 years later & when I wake up in the morning, I am so fucking achy & useless. It's not until I take my buprenorphine that I start to come around & feel "normal" for about an hour or so. Pain lessens a little bit, mood stabilizes (but doesn't go up like it would on a full agonist, just puts me in apathetic flattened state of mind, "numb" if you will, but not in an enjoyable way). And then after that hour or so, I'll just feel incredibly fucking tired the rest of the day. I can no longer watch TV or do anything that requires laying/sitting & paying attention too long. If I try to lay in bed & watch TV, I'm instantly nodding out & falling asleep. Same if I'm sitting passenger in a car & can only stare out the window, I'll start involuntarily nodding. It's like I've become narcoleptic, I'm assuming due to buprenorphine's insanely long fuckin' half life.

I think the shorter/more medium duration opioids are actually better, cause they aren't gonna have you tired & nodding out all day like shitty bupe does. I mean they can, but when you have a tolerance, you'e fine. And the "nods" from buprenorphine feel nothing like full agonist nods. Full agonist nods feel good & blissful. Bupe nods feel more like "I haven't slept in 10 days & my eyes keep involuntarily closing" type of nods. They're even uncomfortable most of the time.

So really the US government is saying "It's fine if you wanna be on this potent shitty partial agonist that makes you nod out all day & barely able to function, just so long as you don't feel any euphoria from it, cause that would be bad!!!".... Yet that "euphoria" is exactly what makes opioids worthwhile in the first place. It go me up & doing shit instead of feeling depressed & in pain all day, doing nothing. Why western medicine sees "euphoria" as an unwanted side effect is beyond me. Euphoria should be an intended side effect depending on what you're using a drug for. A person with severe depression can benefit wonders from the side effect of "euphoria". It's so absurd that I'm just fucking dead inside at this point. Along with some recent events that happened to me trying to make a gay friend/fuck buddy, I'm just so done with humans & society in general that I can't even anymore. People are fake as fuck & nobody gives a shit about anything that doesn't directly concern them. Including me some days, since if no one else cares, then why the fuck should I?

 

[JackARoe]

So really the US government is saying "It's fine if you wanna be on this potent shitty partial agonist that makes you nod out all day & barely able to function, just so long as you don't feel any euphoria from it, cause that would be bad!!!".... Yet that "euphoria" is exactly what makes opioids worthwhile in the first place. It go me up & doing shit instead of feeling depressed & in pain all day, doing nothing.

Yup, the euphoria is what helps pain go away. The THC in cannabis, the "high" is what heals through insight and relaxation. But our puritanical society has decided euphoria is bad and tries to separate CBD from THC. Bad people seek out euphoria the narrative became. Yet I remember Andrew Weil in a book that came out in the 1980's called From Chocolate To Morphine, showed how euphoria is a birth right. And kids learn it by spinning on things in playgrounds. Amusement parks. Everyone here has breathed heavy and held their breath as a kid for a high, spun around until dizzy because it felt good. Yet the norm in society has become anything that feels good is bad. And society bought that. Nothing new. In the Miles Davis autobiography he talks of being on stage in a jazz club, law enforcement coming in, stopping the show and making the musicians pull up their sleeves so they can check for track marks. And they could be hauled off the stage and arrested for track marks. Think about that.

I honestly have made peace with being a chemical factory. I just try and keep a balance and if anything sort of flaunt my use to nerds.

I think the word "high" for these states is poetic. Because it certainly seems we are higher than the average uptight drug hater. High implies better vision.

 

[SeekingOblivion]

Yeah, usually people's responses are 'Well at least you're not in Mexico/insert any perceived 'shittier' country here".

But I think it's a cop out. Just cause America is better in X,Y,Z ways, doesn't mean it should be immune criticism or scrutiny. Especially when it comes to the issue of bodily autonomy, people's health & well-being & the "law:", which apparently only applies to poor people & the rich can do whatever the fuck they want.

Ironically, I'd be a hell of a lot more of a productive member of society if I could actually take what I wanted.

Suboxone was kind of a trap for me. I knew I needed to be on some kind of opioid long-term or even the rest of my life & it was the only option I was given by our country.

And here I am 10 years later & when I wake up in the morning, I am so fucking achy & useless. It's not until I take my buprenorphine that I start to come around & feel "normal" for about an hour or so. Pain lessens a little bit, mood stabilizes (but doesn't go up like it would on a full agonist, just puts me in apathetic flattened state of mind, "numb" if you will, but not in an enjoyable way). And then after that hour or so, I'll just feel incredibly fucking tired the rest of the day. I can no longer watch TV or do anything that requires laying/sitting & paying attention too long. If I try to lay in bed & watch TV, I'm instantly nodding out & falling asleep. Same if I'm sitting passenger in a car & can only stare out the window, I'll start involuntarily nodding. It's like I've become narcoleptic, I'm assuming due to buprenorphine's insanely long fuckin' half life.

I think the shorter/more medium duration opioids are actually better, cause they aren't gonna have you tired & nodding out all day like shitty bupe does. I mean they can, but when you have a tolerance, you'e fine. And the "nods" from buprenorphine feel nothing like full agonist nods. Full agonist nods feel good & blissful. Bupe nods feel more like "I haven't slept in 10 days & my eyes keep involuntarily closing" type of nods. They're even uncomfortable most of the time.

So really the US government is saying "It's fine if you wanna be on this potent shitty partial agonist that makes you nod out all day & barely able to function, just so long as you don't feel any euphoria from it, cause that would be bad!!!".... Yet that "euphoria" is exactly what makes opioids worthwhile in the first place. It go me up & doing shit instead of feeling depressed & in pain all day, doing nothing. Why western medicine sees "euphoria" as an unwanted side effect is beyond me. Euphoria should be an intended side effect depending on what you're using a drug for. A person with severe depression can benefit wonders from the side effect of "euphoria". It's so absurd that I'm just fucking dead inside at this point. Along with some recent events that happened to me trying to make a gay friend/fuck buddy, I'm just so done with humans & society in general that I can't even anymore. People are fake as fuck & nobody gives a shit about anything that doesn't directly concern them. Including me some days, since if no one else cares, then why the fuck should I?

Can you get on a methadone program instead? Earning take homes is not so onerous anymore.

 

[Them Witches]

Calmness is what I am after. When I wake up quickly the feeling of being pulled in every direction physically and mentally overcomes me. Calmness and peace is what allows me to focus on life, without it I am inflamed by fight or flight emotions. The drive to resolve dependence to opioids is like drawing breath. After 15 mins, Oxycodone solves the issues that plague my daily life. 40 mins later Methadone is joined to help and strong black coffee offers it's help. Now I am ready to walk in pain and get after the things my brain is telling me I need to get done for the day. I know I have limited time each day to get physical tasks done and my movements are managed to preserve tomorrow's physical needs. As I get close to clocking out for the day, Ativan, Vistaril PAM, Clonidine, and Oxycodone are taken right before I stretch & massage my legs. I clean up with a shower and I relax sit down/lay down to do other duties, then those four meds do their job.

After this break, I do a personal inventory of physical pain and make the decision to be physically active on my feet or relax to fight another day. I have degenerative bone disease in both ankles, both knees, and every tendon from the knees down are declining rapidly. My doctors demanded I stop working full-time as a welder/pipe fitter at the age 44. If I did not I would be in a wheel chair by the age 50. I am dealing with my 11th eye infection since 2019 which has taken 80% of it's vision. I have bradycardia, Hypertension II, and SVT, that equals 3 heart disorders which steal my energy and cause constant underlying worry.

I do not give a single fuck about how someone feels regarding the medications I take. They would not trade shoes with me if given the chance. Wearing my awesome Adidas lasts 1-2hrs because of the pressure of the shoe and how it presses against my Achilles Tendons. I would love to trade places with them and go to work. I am a awesome X-ray pipe welder and pipe fitter and have worked on almost every government base on the East Coast performing my trades. I would love to make a $38-$60 per hr Davis Bacon Scale on these bases and make $2500 per week. Too bad bitch your disabled in three ways and if you count mental health it's four ways. Your handicapped ass now has a limited income, can't afford to rent or buy a house, no legacy, and the eye doctor said,"It is possible for the virus that has a forever home in my left eye to spread to your right eye. To prevent this your stress levels must remain low and your health cannot plunder. If it does infect your right eye, you will blind at some point."

Again I do not give a single fuck about opinions regarding my medications. In fact, I hope all of them are increased 7-fold and I can Wizard of the Oz through poppy fields with Benzo Alpha2 sedative/hypnotic anti-histamine rain clouds falling on my head until I "triple lendy" into a pond of Inapsine & Propofol. I wanted to fly but my wings were denied so I will happily float in the pond, dance in the rain, and roll in a field of Papevar Somniferum forever covered in latex. I will be on these medications forever happily making the best out of the hand I was dealt. Someone has to do it..As they say.

 

[Deleted member 290563]

Bad people seek out euphoria the narrative became.

Well it’s just the drug it depends on. If it’s a drug everyone does. It’s a big cute joke that everyone laughs about (alcohol, weed, Adderall, caffeine).

If it’s anything else (lsd, norco)….youre a piece of shit.

It’s so arbitrary and people just love excluding and looking down on others. They don’t even see the hypocrisy because they are so drunk on their superiority illusion.

 

[Deleted member 290563]

Suboxone was kind of a trap for me. I knew I needed to be on some kind of opioid long-term or even the rest of my life & it was the only option I was given by our country.

And here I am 10 years later & when I wake up in the morning, I am so fucking achy & useless. It's not until I take my buprenorphine that I start to come around & feel "normal" for about an hour or so. Pain lessens a little bit, mood stabilizes (but doesn't go up like it would on a full agonist, just puts me in apathetic flattened state of mind, "numb" if you will, but not in an enjoyable way). And then after that hour or so, I'll just feel incredibly fucking tired the rest of the day. I can no longer watch TV or do anything that requires laying/sitting & paying attention too long. If I try to lay in bed & watch TV, I'm instantly nodding out & falling asleep. Same if I'm sitting passenger in a car & can only stare out the window, I'll start involuntarily nodding. It's like I've become narcoleptic, I'm assuming due to buprenorphine's insanely long fuckin' half life.

I think the shorter/more medium duration opioids are actually better, cause they aren't gonna have you tired & nodding out all day like shitty bupe does. I mean they can, but when you have a tolerance, you'e fine. And the "nods" from buprenorphine feel nothing like full agonist nods. Full agonist nods feel good & blissful. Bupe nods feel more like "I haven't slept in 10 days & my eyes keep involuntarily closing" type of nods. They're even uncomfortable most of the time.

I am actually purposely considering switching from low dose methadone to bupe. I mean I don’t see much different in methadone from the problems you are listing by I do worry that if I don’t like it they won’t let me switch back to methadone.

I should probably illegally try bupe on my own first. Once again we have to break the law and risk everything just because the rules are so I fucking reasonable they wouldn’t let me go back on a medication I’ve been on for like 5 years.

 

[Deleted member 290563]

nobody gives a shit about anything that doesn't directly concern them.

This is the root of basically everything wrong.

And if it benefits them and hurts others….even better.

 

[BadBoy377]

It’s all prescribed,
Moderate doses, legit, and I’m in legit physical pain.

I think that's your answer right there.

Who cares if you optimise your dosages sometimes? Or break the law sometimes? Like you say a lot of people are morons, who gives a fuck what they think. As long as you're not hurting or compromising other people it's all good.

Ultimately only you can decide what is right or wrong for you and you'll know deep down within yourself.

Nothing to see here, carry on.

BB

 

[Them Witches]

If it’s anything else (lsd, norco)….youre a piece of shit

Yes indeed, that's the truth. Quick to judge and unconditionally throw shade. They are happy the feel above us and sell their truths being compassionate towards us. While a burning desire inside them wants to run away and tell their stories about us behind our backs.

Lucky I am clairvoyant and perceptive, I register them and give them enough rope to hang themselves. Not every insult deserves a response.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Can you get on a methadone program instead? Earning take homes is not so onerous anymore.

I'm not sure.

I don't think methadone clinics are covered by any insurance. And you'd still have to go there every day for awhile to take your meds. And pee in a cup. Both of which aren't exactly things I really wanna do, especially since peeing in public is difficult for people. Hell, I've almost quit my sub clinic from not being able to pee for pee tests (my bladder freezes up, especially after holding it in so long from the time I get there, til the time a nurse comes to get me) and that's like once a year. lol

So I'd love to be on methadone instead, but I can't afford it & I'd probably lose my patience real quick. Although I've thought about calling the clinic here anyway & asking them what it would be like if I did come there. But I need the energy & motivation to make that call, which buprenorphine clearly doesn't give me. lol

 

[SeekingOblivion]

I'm not sure.

I don't think methadone clinics are covered by any insurance. And you'd still have to go there every day for awhile to take your meds. And pee in a cup. Both of which aren't exactly things I really wanna do, especially since peeing in public is difficult for people. Hell, I've almost quit my sub clinic from not being able to pee for pee tests (my bladder freezes up, especially after holding it in so long from the time I get there, til the time a nurse comes to get me) and that's like once a year. lol

So I'd love to be on methadone instead, but I can't afford it & I'd probably lose my patience real quick. Although I've thought about calling the clinic here anyway & asking them what it would be like if I did come there. But I need the energy & motivation to make that call, which buprenorphine clearly doesn't give me. lol

Yeah it’s annoying and degrading and there would be more UDS. A lot of insurance covers it, including Medicaid. Out of pocket, it’s about $14/day in many places.