II messgae I thought you would like...
5 months ago I meet our area's best hospital heart doctor on a ER admission to his "heart patient" floor for my bradycardia of 32bpm. He thought it would smooth sailing cold turkeying my ass off Clonidine 0.9mg, Lunesta 3mg, Ativan 2mg, Toprol 100mg, Lisinipril 40mg, Dilitazem 240mg, and thought he could top it off with all these at once with Roxicodone 210mg after not missing a day's dose in 15 years off all these. And proudly said your Methadone 30mg will be sufficient you will perfectly fine. I gave him the "what you talkN' about Willis look...puzzled, more puzzled. thought about the professional response?" No shit, my reply while pulling out my phone, "Wait til I my PCP answers this phone... one second.. ringing... my snarking retort, "What medical reference did you learn from for this whole patient?" Dude looked at me like he wanted to scold me. So I put my hand and gave him the wait talk to the hand my doctor is picking his cell... Tell the doctor quickly, he replies,"Demand IV removal and discharge. Lawyer territory, I hate Riverside, gotta go." Speaker phone alerted him and my Dad. My Dad's poor face of concern broke me for the last time, OK. I will give them 4 hrs tops to show me something Dad. Mr. Heart Dr. ," I will only stay if I am given my Oxycodone now and every 4hrs sharp." ,"Deal Them Witches, the nurse will right in."
Nurse writes medication management and pain control and active heart diagnosis for duration on my dry erase board. I think OK, the Dr listened to me. I had to keep calling the nurse every 4hrs for the Roxi 30mg like it is God'd gift to the world, not to me, nothing to get exited about. Dad pleads I am worried about with nurse the room. She said,"I might not be back in 4hrs, I got stuff to do for shift change. BTW, the Clonidine, Lunesta, and Ativan are not coming." 0 to 100 anger level in two seconds,"Fuck No! Discharge me now at defcon 8 tone and bass.." Nurse Retort,"You do not have to swear me!!" Dad's face sags... My retort,"I didn't swear at you singular, it plural for the whole goddam floor and so the Dr could hear wherever the fuck he is at." Nurse firmly," Do I need to call security, sir?" My reply,"Obviously I am no damn Sir here. My bottom gutter self will require at least three security guards." Dad jump out the chair at the nurse,"Please forgive my son, he is distressed and not himself at the moment. Let me calm him down and be the voice of reason." I tell my Dad,"it is time to go, time to go, get this damn IV out my arm and these wires off me before I do it and break them." MY Dad is worried and a tear develops down his face...," OK, I will try it there way for a little bit and see how it goes."
Blowing the nurses station every 3hrs and 50mins for the Roxi 30mg and extra Methadone saying I have my PCP's proxy he said. I will call him to confirm this order change. I thought I was doing something. Those people didn't bring me that extra methadone and made me wait an hour for Rx'd Roxi off 15 years. I have never been this off by 1 hour, how can they start this behavior..? Few hours later the Clonidine 0.6-0.9mg outpatient 25 year compliant me had not experienced what was coming. Clonidine withdrawal started, 30 mins Lunesta withdrawal started after 10 years not missing a one dose, Ativan withdrawal started after 12 year benzo dependence. This what I was concerned about earlier. Roxi withdrawal starts because I have lost 6hrs of blood plasma levels for the first time in 15 years of a 38 year total opioid dependence. I lost my shit and I was headed to catch a charge with security calling 911. I walked to the nurses station at 4am while they were snacking on junk food with their thumbs up each other's ass. "CALL THE DR NOW, they wrote medication management on my board and it is not happening that way. I am in an in-patient setting where if something goes wrong from giving a half of my meds I am Rx'd, you guys can spring to action and do what Medicare is paying you for me!" Their reply,"The doctor was to make that order and he went home for the night, we think he will be here at 8am."
Walked to my room and slammed that 350lb new fire rated door that shook like a plane hit the building at 4am. Started throwing the excess stupid chairs in my room in my way of where I needed to be. Later I found out they had given me adrenaline without telling me, so that was a poor call. Yell down the hallway,"Discharge now, I am calling Uber." I figured they were calling 911. So I called Uber and started packing shit. Well Clonidine is not a fun cold turkey at those doses with those meds and it was a 1st time joy for me. I start shaking so hard I cannot stand up and nurse it tweaking asking me if I am ok, for real Sir, are you okay? You shaking, sweating, aggressive, you pulse has gone from 32 to 169 and you BP is 230/140. I need to code you and not let you go for your safety, well-being, and your love ones please try to calm down do my job... ,"Fuck you rookie ass 21 years old late to the party MF. I got this, I going to take these meds in 20mins at my house without yalls dumb ass training and concern. You guys are going to always remember not learn your damn medical protocols for tapering and all the meds I take before this hospital kills someone and get a lawsuit. My PCP will be calling you. Get your equipment off me before I might damage on accident." 3 medical supervisors enter the room like they are here to be a witness to something. One more word,"I am cold turkey off 4 documented protocol tapering medication that could effect me, what point are you displaying here. When I got home in 20 mins alone away from you guys, I am going to take all of these medications at once to stop this. If something happens it your professional medical training that is supposed to save lives for good damn money and given too much blind trust from a person need, the whole critical top dog heart unit for our 7 city area, your Dr, the whole floor, and 2 shifts just failed one man making him feel like a drug addict for being a compliant patient taking what is written for me."...You have stuff to sign to discharge Sir...,"Nope, call my Doctor and ask him to sign off on this, move it or lose it. Once I start in this shape I am not going to stop."
OK..I know this is long. Thank you, I will wrap it up, but I am proud to recall this much detail, it's healing...
Two days they call to tell me they scheduled my follow up with the out-patient heart Dr for me and completed discharge paperwork, but the Dr signed off and said it is not going to charged like a typical discharge that will be against you you future visits.... Thanks bye. Go to there doctor, his nurse comes in. Quickly, I say,"if you guys ever send me to that hospital for a procedure I wont go so we can nip this in the bud now. Nurse emails the Dr in the other room to tell him. It's ok he said they refer it out to another hospital but the Dr want to meet you and talk to you about this encase he can help in any way while you here. "What happened Sir.." Well the crazy eyes pop out, I start shaking, tense, off edge clearly... I lay it out like I just did for you play for play on this post. Closing with there was one Dr with a wooden cross on his neck that I actually felt good with that visit, he his the only way and I will bring all my medications with me do not care about your rules not bring them, you guys clearly do not earn that dominance over me. And I will bring a contract for your triage nurse to sign stating you will not remove any of my medications from me backpack and if you consider to taper off something, you have to get it approved from my PCP doctor if his orders are not honored and a secondary approval in writing from me and you triage nurse witness signs and the ER managers signs this paper before I enter I will not enter and the appointment co-pay for me or Medicare will not be charged if I do not sign, you sign, and my doctor over the phone confirms his approval in triage.
Next time I went to the out-patient heart practice after my Holter montior install, everyone knew who I was without seeing the first appointment where I set the stage of a personal custom contract to enter there top-tier reputation hospital. And the Dr I meet the first that had visit with me would not even exchange a facial hello with me with eyes to the floor except for one brief second cause I was being felt and I had left my scent on that place. Nobody had put them in check like that at the heart ward floor and the out-patient place like that. This is why I typed all this for you because, you know how stuck up and self-centered they all are to the core to our face and worse behind our backs cause be didn't go to their schools. And out of their education schools, co-workers, common practice friends, you know how they really treat us and their insurance buddy friends are all in it too, thus America was thrilled and meme city appreared overnight on social media about the Insurance CEO getting wacked in NYC. We are feed up with it and things have got to change. Thank you I am out.