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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 How High Are You? V. The Height of Sophistication

Sunday was a real adventure... No way I could have written anything then though:
Started after not being able to end my day on Saturday once again (that's what I get for staying clean at night), so after two hours woke up at 4:30 to start my first encounter with Bromazepam. 3 mg, went and could go back to sleep till 7:30 (zero tolerance). Added another 3 mg at 8, a shot of H at 9 and redosed 6 mg of Bromazepam altogether till early afternoon. I appreciate the fact that I didn't feel impaired or disinhibited at all ( which is why I don't like Xanax), but as always with any benzo so far it didn't feel enough.
So right before we were supposed to go out I added another shot - and that was a mistake. It knocked me out cold for half an hour before I could get myself back up and going.
Amazingly enough I could suppress it while active but when we came back home it hit me again and I spent a few hours half gone, trying to write a few messages but took like a dozen attempts per sentence...
Went to bed at 10 pm finally and got up sometime at night for toilet, passed out there again and when I wanted to get up my legs were numb and I crashed - breaking the toilet lid in half straight 😬⚡.
Woke up with a little hangover and still sleep-deprived and ended up falling asleep while talking at work ☠️☠️☠️
Not the first time either 🙄. Gotta take measures here or I'll end up losing my job. 😒
 
Have been taking a single dose (0.2g) of this "amphetamine" but dude I'm feeling the effects over 30 hours later and that's not normal. Must be meth or some rc in this. I hate it not even ketamin or gabapentin takes the effect away. Have slept a few hours but still feel shitty af.
 
40 mg diazepam.
22 mg THC edible
22 mg CBD edible

Definitely feeling it. This is kinda too much THC for me but I feel like the diazepam should take the anxious edge off THC
 
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Tried to try Temazepam yesterday... Started at 4:30 pm after Kratom was out, didn't feel anything but slightly clumsy till 6:30 so added 5cl Vodka... another 20 mg Temazepam at 7 pm... And boofed only 20 mg of Ket around half an hour later to FINALLY kick it off. ... Last thing I remember is sitting down on the floor because it hit incredibly hard... The next 70-80 minutes are gone from my memory. Might have been my first black out or just amnesia 🤔. Snapped out of it suddenly at 8:50 exact... Then slept until 3 am. Pretty much to the point when Temazepam effects were gone according to psychonaut journal. Well, at least I slept and today is a holiday so I'm safe...
 
I'm still not really "here" and I don't know if it'd due to the speed or ket. Im never ever taking that speed again and I'm gonna keep from taking more ket during the day today too to see if I become normal again.
Gonna take my 4 mg of bupe, 20mg ritalin and smoke a joint now and hopefully that helps.
Maybe getting some oxys, but don't know if it's any idea taking it while on 4mg bupe/day
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
Is it?
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We all have good days and bad days with peaks and lows within them. Cherish the good bits and keep doing your best ❤️
aesthetic.addict said:
ket
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That would be my guess. Much more than a week of using ket daily or near daily and things start getting strange for me.

On topic: absolutely nothing! I took some 2cb yesterday and the day before so I'm going to take a day off and let my brain uncoil. Might take some 4-aco-dmt tomorrow but we'll have to see how the schedule is looking.

Have a beautiful day lovelies ❤️
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
The next 70-80 minutes are gone from my memory. Might have been my first black out or just amnesia 🤔
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If you still can't remember what you were doing during those 80 minutes, definitely a "blackout".

Just be grateful you didn't do anything that could harm you during that time.

Just posting this as Temazepam can be fun, but the actions one does physically whilst on it, could be devastating.

Please remember in future, that your subconscious is condoning your actions (when on an Hypnotic drug), and every "idea" is a good idea (when consciously one would never act on it). Just saying.

I am glad you had a positive experience and hope you stay safe, be careful and be happy.

❤️
 
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shreddedlettuce said:
If you still can't remember what you were doing during those 80 minutes, definitely a "blackout".

Just be grateful you didn't do anything that could harm you during that time.

Just posting this as Temazepam can be fun, but the actions one does physically whilst on it, could be devastating.

Please remember in future, that your subconscious is condoning your actions (when on an Hypnotic drug), and every "idea" is a good idea (when consciously one would never act on it). Just saying.

I am glad you had a positive experience and hope you stay safe, be careful and be happy.

❤️
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Thank you! 🙏 I read some wild stories about black outs and never meant to get there 😅... Zero memory still... I never understood this: so there's no such thing as simply not remembering without that loss of conscious self- control?
 
Shinji Ikari said:
We all have good days and bad days with peaks and lows within them. Cherish the good bits and keep doing your best ❤️

That would be my guess. Much more than a week of using ket daily or near daily and things start getting strange for me.

On topic: absolutely nothing! I took some 2cb yesterday and the day before so I'm going to take a day off and let my brain uncoil. Might take some 4-aco-dmt tomorrow but we'll have to see how the schedule is looking.

Have a beautiful day lovelies ❤️
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I actually meant to ask whether your trip was going as well as expected 😅. But thank you anyway 😁
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
so there's no such thing as simply not remembering without that loss of conscious self- control?
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I hope I understand the above correctly.

But in simple terms (in my head) - "A warning/message/communication etc... is meant to be observed immediately, but there is a power outage and the recipient (you/me) is stuck without connection..... we don't get the communication".

So how can "self control" be observed in this state?

There is no "on switch" of logic hence "every idea is a good idea". eg. feel like ice cream, let's go get some, it is only 3 minute drive, BUT there is nobody saying "hey man don't drive in this state etc." .... you get where I am going with this.

Executive Function, Cognitive Function are asleep/off or on minimal %.... Dream State is active and body is active.... someone is "asleep at the switch", and this is scary.

Hope this helps. :)
 
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It's called habits. You have to change them. One must stop making up stories and believing they are true.

One has to change their stories man. And relearn what healthy is. When one starts to tell oneself something

enough times one will have the tendency to believe them lifelong no matter what happens. It is up to a ' person '

to ' choose ' in fact if they want to be healthy or not. And re-learn the stories. Or nothing will change forever.

You have to ' want ' healthy enough to choose to be. And only then will it work. Or your needs will be that everyday

everything will be the same. Which then can continue on forever because that is what you believe because it it

a story that you will make up to keep telling yourself whatever you want to hear. Start writing new stories and believe

those instead. The healthy new one's. The healthy way to live healthy instead. You must rewrite your script and tell

yourself what is real and what is healthiest for you and others around you as well. You can do it ! Start a new story today.

Just the way that we have to talk to our brains sometimes. 💙 And Best of Luck telling yourself what ' needs 'to be heard.
 
shreddedlettuce said:
I hope I understand the above correctly.

But in simple terms (in my head) - "A warning/message/communication etc... is meant to be observed immediately, but there is a power outage and the recipient (you/me) is stuck without connection..... we don't get the communication".

So how can "self control" be observed in this state?

There is no "on switch" of logic hence "every idea is a good idea". eg. feel like ice cream, let's go get some, it is only 3 minute drive, BUT there is nobody saying "hey man don't drive in this state etc." .... you get where I am going with this.

Executive Function, Cognitive Function are asleep/off or on minimal %.... Dream State is active and body is active.... someone is "asleep at the switch", and this is scary.

Hope this helps. :)
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Thank you once more for bothering with me 🙏😊. Ok. I BELIEVE I get what a black out is. But afaik there can also be amnesia for things done consciously.
As in when short term memory is not working for some reason. It's what can happen to me on K. I do something and forget it immediately. Sometimes I remember, sometimes I have to guess. But it's not like I did anything I wouldn't do in my right mind... Does that make any sense? 😅
Or maybe black out = amnesia with benzos...
Edit: If acting while dreaming is a black out I must have blacked out several times already...
 
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