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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

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wbga said:
Thank you. It is ok I was just curious because I was so obssessed with color black yesterday not even sleeping
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Sorry to hear your not sleeping. Sleep is my only escape from all the negative thoughts in my head. Then again that really doesn't last as we are not conscious when we sleep.
 
IOSIP said:
Sorry to hear your not sleeping. Sleep is my only escape from all the negative thoughts in my head. Then again that really doesn't last as we are not conscious when we sleep.
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It was ok.

I am recovering in the sense of accepting my fate, although my body and other symptoms are still there.

I devoted the whole night for the understanding what happened and what caused this pain and what was the meaning of the whole incident.

I am trying to understand why this kind of pain had to happen to me.

I am trying to accept my pain to move on to new path.
 
wbga said:
It was ok.

I am recovering in the sense of accepting my fate, although my body and other symptoms are still there.

I devoted the whole night for the understanding what happened and what caused this pain and what was the meaning of the whole incident.

I am trying to understand why this kind of pain had to happen to me.

I am trying to accept my pain to move on to new path.
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Its pretty hard to accept while we sit at home and do absolutely fuck all with our lives. Brain rotting away. I fucking hate myself for what ive done.
 
IOSIP said:
Its pretty hard to accept while we sit at home and do absolutely fuck all with our lives. Brain rotting away. I fucking hate myself for what ive done.
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Yea it is almost impossible to accept this fate and live on, but I am realising this is the only way I can survive the future. So I am trying to accept my fate now.
 
wbga said:
Yea it is almost impossible to accept this fate and live on, but I am realising this is the only way I can survive the future. So I am trying to accept my fate now.
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Wish I had the strength to kill myself i fucking can't stand what ive done. I'm never going to ammount to anything. I'm going to die in poverty because of this.
 
IOSIP said:
Wish I had the strength to kill myself i fucking can't stand what ive done. I'm never going to ammount to anything. I'm going to die in poverty because of this.
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You will have to eventually find a way to live with what is left now.

I am trying to accept my life with no hope at all and finding meaning in this life.

I am trying to focus on what's left which is nothing, and to find a way to overcome this pain with spiritual practice and interpretation.

That's all I can do.
 
wbga said:
You will have to eventually find a way to live with what is left now.

I am trying to accept my life with no hope at all and finding meaning in this life.

I am trying to focus on what's left which is nothing, and to find a way to overcome this pain with spiritual practice and interpretation.

That's all I can do.
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I just feel fucking hollow. I feel like i can't move forward at all. I'm completely stuck with the emotional blunting. Like I dont know how to be a human.

What's a happy emotions? I dong have happiness its like that emotion has gone away. I only have sadness.
 
IOSIP said:
I just feel fucking hollow. I feel like i can't move forward at all. I'm completely stuck with the emotional blunting. Like I dont know how to be a human.

What's a happy emotions? I dong have happiness its like that emotion has gone away. I only have sadness.
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Right.

I lost the happiness I used to have and there is only void and darkness left.

I am focusing on this darkness and void, this gives me weird peace.
 
IOSIP said:
I just feel fucking hollow. I feel like i can't move forward at all. I'm completely stuck with the emotional blunting. Like I dont know how to be a human.

What's a happy emotions? I dong have happiness its like that emotion has gone away. I only have sadness.
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There is no satisfactory feeling about anything except I have still interest in finding meaning and self growth out of this situation.

There is intellectual, inner mind growth part this pain brought me.

I am focusing on it.
 
I'm reinterpreting all the stupid things I did while I was in psychosis.
 
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