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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Help! Need out of this Oxycodone cycle

N

nor'easter

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 4, 2018
Messages
13
I apologize for the long post ahead of time. I was a late a late comer to drug use, I seldomly smoked weed in high school but have always been a drinker. From 19ish on I started experimenting with drugs. Mostly benzos like Xanax and Kpins. Then I started with the cocaine and the ecstasy. In the college years, I had a roommate from New York who was into the Oxys. This was right when the 80s and higher milligram pills were disappearing so it was mostly 30s. We would cop, use them for a day or two and that was it. They quickly became my drug choice. Later in life, got a connection to somebody who had a script of 30s. It was cool, I could grab a handful or two of them, use and that would be it unitl the next month when the script got renewed. That buddy of mine died two years ago, he got into fentanyl and well…that was pretty much it for him. Just over a year ago, I ran into somebody who had a script of 15s. And then get this….his roommate has a script of 15s. The easy access and good price make it a dangerous situation. To make a long story short, Ive been getting fucked up for just over a year. Mostly daily with forced breaks when the prescription ran out a week early. I’m so disgusted with my self that I ended up in this situation. I’ve got a little boy and a wife. She knows about the usage and is there for me. My son looks up to me and I can’t be living like this. The guilt is killing me. My father was a dead beat heroin addict who only cared about himself and getting high and now look at me….Today is the first day I’ve jumped ship on them and really focused on stopping. I have tried this before but haven’t had success. I’m nervous to go and ask for help, I don’t know if having that label on my medical file is a good idea. I’m stuck in this cycle and I need help out. Any advice is more than welcome.
 
Is it more than physical withdrawal or is it a deep rooted psychological addiction?
 
I am a mental mess coming off of them. Don’t get me wrong I definitely feel physically ill when I don’t have them. Today’s been rough. But the metal shit, man it’s killer. I was up to like 60-90ish mgs a day. I know that’s not super high by but the dose was slowly creeping in recent weeks
 
You can get a suboxone script these days from an online health provider (just search google, there are many places offering it).

It doesn't go on your "permanent" medical record or anything. However, if you are currently being prescribed something like Adderall, your doctor may be able to see that you recently got a prescription for a controlled substance (suboxone).

This is only temporary however, and future doctors won't be able to see you were scripted suboxone. So it doesn't go on some sort of permanent record.

But, if you are 100% committed to quiting, I'd recommend only getting short script of suboxone. Like maybe 2 weeks worth, just to help you transition off of opioids. Exercise (lift weights for me) helps alot during this period. Lifting weights helped me get off of methadone.

If you need longer term support you can stay on suboxone for a longer period of time, but you should really put alot of thought into that decision since suboxone is a bitch to get off of and simultaneously, ia very easy to get, which leads to people getting stuck on it for years. So if you want to get off opioids for good, tell the online doctor you just want a 2 week supply so you can taper off.
 
Dude also in NA / AA you will find people who understand where your coming from and can ACTUALLY help. Good luck and God help you man!
 
nor'easter said:
I am a mental mess coming off of them. Don’t get me wrong I definitely feel physically ill when I don’t have them. Today’s been rough. But the metal shit, man it’s killer. I was up to like 60-90ish mgs a day. I know that’s not super high by but the dose was slowly creeping in recent weeks
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I was late into using too, I relate to the guilt, had near death experiences,spent ungodly amounts of money,made it through,and you will.You will look back one day with a sense of relief.I went cold turkey,I could have eased my pain but I know myself,I needed to suffer,different experience for everyone but I needed that difficult time.Just glad you're here for support ,no matter what.
 
Thanks so much for the replies everyone. Just posting that first post reaching out for help somehow made me feel better. I did the google research and had a phone call with a web clinic. They did prescribe Suboxone. They said to start with 8mg twice a day. I’m super unfamiliar with the drug BUT that seams kinda high? I needed up copping enough Oxy for a couple days. I run out tomorrow. I’m taking 75mgs the last few days. Any advice on how much Suboxone to start with? Or is the 8mg twice a day a good start? Thanks in advance!
 
I have a bottle of Gabapentin 300mg and a bottle of 100s. Durring withdrawal I’ve taken them and maybe felt a tad better, but I didn’t notice a huge relief. I read all the time about how much of a life saver they are when kicking shit tho…Maybe I’ll try them again and keep the subs as a back up.
 
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