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What motivates you?

paltatomate

paltatomate

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
11,081
though i'm okay most of the times, and my life is like 200% better than what it was two or three years ago, i feel there is still something missing.
this morning under the shower it came to me: i have nothing special to look forward to.
no reward at the end of the day.
no specific (realistic) goal to work towards.
instead the feeling that after all, my life is still without a purpose.

it's so important to have a purpose.
and something to look forward to the moment you open your eyes.

what is your purpose?
what are you looking forward to today?
 
I try not to look too far forward. I think it's nice if you are a person who has long term goals but that is just not beneficial to me... I'd rather take things day by day. Month to month.

I look forward to small things like seasons changing. Holidays. Sports.

I'm thinking about buying a dry erase calendar to put on my fridge to help me visualize weekly goals. It's kind of silly but it helps me to say I'm going to be on track this week and then be able to cross off each day when it's over.
 
mal3volent said:
I try not to look too far forward. I think it's nice if you are a person who has long term goals but that is just not beneficial to me...
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i can't do long term goals either.
2-3 months is as far as i go.
but it's nice to have a project that takes a few days or weeks to finish. like setting up little houses for street dogs, renovating a room in an old lady's house, removing plastic waste from the beach, even work stuff.
 
lecroute said:
i can't do long term goals either.
2-3 months is as far as i go.
but it's nice to have a project that takes a few days or weeks to finish. like setting up little houses for street dogs, renovating a room in an old lady's house, removing plastic waste from the beach, even work stuff.
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I agree. Doing little things to make a difference can make me feel better. It can even be something that doesn't take a lot of effort, like texting something encouraging to someone I know who is going through a difficult time right now. Or by just being pleasant to the grocery store clerk.

When I think back at my most difficult moments I remember it was sometimes the seemingly smallest things that helped me through it, and by people I barely knew.

I guess my purpose or goal would be to have made the world a better place.
 
kris66 said:
I agree. Doing little things to make a difference can make me feel better. It can even be something that doesn't take a lot of effort, like texting something encouraging to someone I know who is going through a difficult time right now. Or by just being pleasant to the grocery store clerk.

When I think back at my most difficult moments I remember it was sometimes the seemingly smallest things that helped me through it, and by people I barely knew.

I guess my purpose or goal would be to have made the world a better place.
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but are those things you are looking forward to doing?
like when you go to bed or open your eyes you think : "hey, i'm looking forward to write a nice text, and to be pleasant to the grocery store clerk?"
 
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Well I'm a retired person in my 60s and for me that does help. As far as looking forward to one specific thing that I'm going to be doing I can't say I have that right now. The political situation looks bleak and one of my children is struggling to find a new job, and he's mildly autistic.

Focusing on little things helps me get through the moment though. Something like an upcoming trip would come and go anyway.
 
kris66 said:
one of my children is struggling to find a new job,
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i hope your child can find a good job soon. something that not only pays the bill, but is also rewarding in other aspects.
ideally with nice coworkers who provide and invite social engagement.
that's so important for someone with autism.
 
lecroute said:
i hope your child can find a good job soon. something that not only pays the bill, but is also rewarding in other aspects.
ideally with nice coworkers who provide and invite social engagement.
that's so important for someone with autism.
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Thank you, I appreciate that. He did find a temporary job that supposedly has a possibility of becoming permanent.

I can't say this job has a lot of social engagement but so far so good. 🤞
 
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today i woke up looking forward to a morning walk with my dogs to the pet store (they finally got tick pellets on stock again)
and then i think i will buy stuff to make a burger for lunch (like the bun, tomato, and onion)
i also have some ideas about how to improve my surroundings.

edit: just learned that it's not tick pellets, but tick tablets (chewable thingies that keep ticks and fleas from mounting the dog for 30+ days)
 
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I saw this thread a few days ago and have been thinking about it since. When not much interests you because of how bad the depression is, but you have the depression because or in part of, not having much of a purposeful life how do we get past this? I struggle with this constantly. The couple things I used to look forward to I still do, but it just makes me sad because I don’t have the ummpfh to actually put it into action. If I try to push past that it just feels awful and not good.

Can anyone else relate to this? Even a little?
 
Raya22 said:
Can anyone else relate to this? Even a little?
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i can, to some extend.

i'm not and never was clinically depressed, but i miss a certain spark in my life than makes me jump out of bed full of enthusiasm and curiosity about a new day the way i was used to not so long ago. i still enjoy certain things, but not as much as i did, and this change came very suddenly. positive thinking can get you only so far, and it's exhausting if there is nothing tangible to back those thoughts up.

so what i'm basically doing, and which is why i started this thread in the first place, is to see if i can find the switch to turn my motivation back to how it used to be some 6 years ago. so there's no more
Raya22 said:
ummpfh
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when i do stuff (at least not most of the time)
 
lecroute said:
i can, to some extend.

i'm not and never was clinically depressed, but i miss a certain spark in my life than makes me jump out of bed full of enthusiasm and curiosity about a new day the way i was used to not so long ago. i still enjoy certain things, but not as much as i did, and this change came very suddenly. positive thinking can get you only so far, and it's exhausting if there is nothing tangible to back those thoughts up.

so what i'm basically doing, and which is why i started this thread in the first place, is to see if i can find the switch to turn my motivation back to how it used to be some 6 years ago. so there's no more

when i do stuff (at least not most of the time)
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What changed? Something had to have happened to change something that you got a good and positive feeling from.
 
Raya22 said:
What changed? Something had to have happened to change something that you got a good and positive feeling from.
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i was put on antidepressants and even quetiapine when they didn't work.
and by the time i was weaned off them (after almost a year) i had completely withdrawn from life, added new triggers to my preexisting ptsd, and then covid with all it's complications and aftereffects happened.
 
At least I know from my personal experience, that something big happened in my life that caused my depression to spiral. Not really being able to change it now causes it to continue
 
lecroute said:
i was put on antidepressants and even quetiapine when they didn't work.
and by the time i was weaned off them (after almost a year) i had completely withdrawn from life, added new triggers to my preexisting ptsd, and then covid with all it's complications and aftereffects happened.
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Ugh. Isn’t that wonderful. Gotta love when you’re made to try medication you already know doesn’t help. At least that’s how I’m understanding it. And now you’re left to cope on your own.
Having ptsd is tremendously difficult to live with. Now you practically got new ptsd from this huge life event. Whatever helped before, can you reinvent this time around?
 
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