I know, its ludicrous. I do not not have ever had personal access to TOR marketplaces, which in hindsight is probably the only reason I am yet to poison myself. Since the street heroin (of which I hardly ever use now) has gotten to the point where even my best shotter has had nitazene blends on 3 of the 5 occasions I have seen them this summer, I have been to my benzo buddy who, frightened that we may see a repeat of 2010, is paying through the nose to keep well stocked up on the bum ting and always has a couple of different efforts to sell. Its awesome stuff but is not worth the money when u have a tolerance like mine from the methadone. They could probably get me a gram of some mdma crystal if I got organised enough but to try and ease your confusion - I have been alone all summer and whenever Ive done pills on my tod Ive always wanted to go out and socialise and do something daft. That was all good when I was still in town as even when town went shit their was always a good stomp on at the Rainbow, this longstanding hangout for gaylords, gay lassies and the odd dance obsessed hetero imposter who knows that, out of my old friends and folk that I knew from the 90's - gayers were always spot on with respect to sorting a rave, be it Afters on a Sunday morning in B'ham if you had been to Atomic Jam or Sundissential (Godskitchen was on a Friday for the first 6 years so no Afters after) - or as mentioned the Rainbow which as moderately sized terraced pub had seen the main bar totally fitted out as a disco for 60 - 80 fucks and, while not exactly the stuff I put on myself any more, the resident jock Sean loved it and killed it Wolverhampton style - looking the spit of Boy George in his immaculate drag type suit and wide brimmed hat while hammering out that sort of late 90's UK Speed Garage and more upfront bassline house thats probably making people sick as they read what I consider music. Fact is that before it went all 2 step it was a crazy high energy house sound and as someone who actually saw Boy George the first night I went to the Cream at the Nation in L.pool, alot of 'average' sets could contain a huge range of genres.
Anyway, to try and make my point - I am desperate to go out and while usually with company I have never had an issue going out on my own - all I need is a functional environment (one thats public, safe and tolerant of a harmless idiot giving it the big ponsed up stomp) and some MDA or MDMA specifically. I can have a good night on just whizz, but its not proper. The whizz mixed with acid does the trick - this is what I have discovered bouncing around at home to good A&V quality rips of sets, the last night finding me enjoying the Scot Project, Signum and JOOF sets from Luminosity a few years back, as well as the epic 4 hour Amelie Lens EM she did to ease Radio 1 clubnuts into the 2020 lockdown. Because of its unpredictability, the only time Ive used acid in a club was the last time I went out and that was to candyflip a 3rd and final 3am dose of 'champagne' MDMA - timed so that when John '00' Fleming started at 4am it would be all kicking in nicely, as IMO John's sound, while generally that solid club tech - trance that dominated the upfront stuff from 98 - 2004 or so, had its own flavour again due to the influence of the psychedelic / 'Goa' beach party stuff which to be honest Ive never been that into. Its still great, but like UK and US Garage and really soulful US house its one of the genres Ive liked less than the others. I fucking love upfront tech - trance for the most part despite it being done to death but the reason it appeals to me more than the much more underground and less commercialised psy - trance is due to the percussion. Psy - trance is banging but the full detail of the techno beat used in European club Trance just blows me away.
Heres the Scotty P set from when I was last fucked. Its 10 years old already but as I havnt seen him in 20 (last time I saw him it was to play the last 90 mins at Slinky's 2004 Halloween party at the Opera House in B;mouth, so the records are at least half the same as ever. Having watched him play the last sets in the NEC Arena for GatecrasherNECNXT and with the sun rising outside, the Godskitchen arena at Global Gathering later that same summer, the venue here is a bit less epic but the guests are on it.