EADD Benzo Discussion V. Waking up in a Wakefield skip

[deficiT]

I would like to get my drinking down to 0 units. I hate Alcohol but it controls my life. I don't mind the feeling it gives me, its just so bad for my health. I have reduced my intake quite a bit but not as much as I would like. Any drinkers have an opinion of if pregabs could be a replacement for it? I would not consider doing both together. It would be pregabs or alcohol, never both. Is it hard to taper from? For all its horrors alcohol's physical grip on you isn't that strong. You're over physical addiction in a week, after that its just the psychological desperation to drink.

You can do it, it is a hard road but it is possible. I haven't drank in over a year. I'm not a model of sobriety, but at least my drinking is under control. Everything is much better since I've stopped drinking and taking Benzos.

 

[sadasaulna]

I've realised what I want is not available anyway, it's that feeling you get when you take your first ever benzo, that calm relaxed feeling that washes over you (lost that years ago).

I got like that with the Alcohol. I still like the fact it takes me far away from my misery/worries/fears for a few hours at night, but I don't get the beauty I used to get from it. I remember drinking Red Wine and reading Gravity's Rainbow and Pynchons prose just set me on fire when I was drunk on red wine. Or music would be out of this world. Now it's just a means to an end.

First times can be the best and never recaptured. I used to rent a house from my Uncle and found some diazepam he'd left behind. I didn't even know they were diazepam but something about the small white pills that said "5" on them told me they would be good. And they were! I'll never quite capture back how good those first ones were.

My first phenibut was like I went to heaven, but while I had some nice times with it later, it was never like that first kiss, and I doubt it ever will be.

Thanks for the well wishes and support. I could never do the "odd casual" drink once sober, it just spirals immediately. Pills I can take and leave (my bottle of Phenibut pills lasted over 3 years), alcohol has a death grip on me though. I have had periods of complete Sobriety, longest for nearly 3 years. So I know the psychological grip isn't permanent. It only took me about 6 months before I couldn't care less about drink and didn't miss it anymore. I've had a couple of other sober periods lasting around 6 months too.

Both times I relapsed were due to mental health breakdowns, I'd start with just a couple of beers or a pint at a pub, and within a few months I'd be back to heavy drinking.

S.

 

[sadasaulna]

You can do it, it is a hard road but it is possible. I haven't drank in over a year. I'm not a model of sobriety, but at least my drinking is under control. Everything is much better since I've stopped drinking and taking Benzos.

Thanks for the support buddy! I've recently re-referred with Inspire alcohol service so will be hearing back from them soon and have come up with a taper plan before going CT. I'd be quite fine doing the occasional benzo as I've always been able to keep them under control, Alcohol though, it just has something that I think I'm genetically disposed to be addicted to.

Well done on your journey! I wish you continued Sobriety and good health.

 

[sadasaulna]

Talking of people who cannot go near alcohol, I have a mate who had been over 20 years sober (raging Alchoholic before that), he just drank non-alcoholic beer when we went out. We were at his birthday and his cousin and his damn care worker (he's a vulnerable adult) both said "Its fine if you want the odd drink." I was fuming with them. So he started drinking just one can of Guinness. Then I noticed it was 2. I begged with him to stop, I got so upset I was in tears in his living room. I told him 2 would become 4 and so on. Well then it was 4, and then the spirits started, first a quarter of a small bottle, before long half a full bottle. Then he started calling me blind drunk after having been kicked out of a pubs. I got pretty upset with him and to his credit he went full dry again and hasn't touched it since (almost a year now). I'm really proud of him.

His cousin and care worker turned out to be in cahoots with financially abusing him too for the kicker. They're both out of his life now the pieces of shit.

 

[GulpingBatteryLiquid]

Yeah, I personally think Alcoholics Anonymous etc take it a bit to far with the "If you've ever drank too much you can NEVER touch another drop of alcohol!" stuff, but there are a subset of people who really should just stay away

 

[rainofthehour]

Oxazepam (which is usually the only benzo you'll get a prescription for) seems to make me really tired.

Do others have the same kind of experience with it?

yes my god I was prescribed that and I feel like it doesn't really do a whole lot?
I still have bad panic outbursts even through I have taken the pill, which keeps tempting me to take more of it than prescribed I doubled my dose today from frustration and I don't feel anything bad sure but also it's just like....I can't say I feel relaxed? It just feels like a distraction!!! and I am at home and chilling right now but I am pretty sure if I was in a worse situation at the time I took it I would probably still have panic/anxiety slipping through the cracks:wg:
My doctor said she would not prescribe me anything stronger because I am "too young" (21) and she told me I can take it 3 times a day. (She initially gave it to me as a sort of safety net / SOS medication.
I have very mixed feelings about it.
I feel like it doesn't work a whole lot and it has failed me before. I wonder if I did take it 3 times per day maybe it would do something more??? But then I would probably get addicted??? :sadcat: Many mixed feelings about oxazepam....
Have a good evening

 

[sadasaulna]

Yeah, I personally think Alcoholics Anonymous etc take it a bit to far with the "If you've ever drank too much you can NEVER touch another drop of alcohol!" stuff, but there are a subset of people who really should just stay away

I (and my friend) are very much in the "can't touch another drop" camp... well of course we can, its just that each time it will lead to either controlled heavy drinking (like in my case) or in some, potentially fatal levels of drinking. Lost my sister in law to it in her 40s. If you're the person who even if you've had struggles with alcohol before can have a pint at a pub and leave it at that, you're not in the danger group. If "a pint at the pub" means you must end your day getting blackout drunk, you're in the latter camp. For me drink has always been "the thing that I end up waking up from", never something I just enjoyed for an hour or two one day. Which is why I don't day drink except for special occasions like Christmas and Weddings and those always end up getting really messy. By the time my siblings have gone to bed after drinking all Christmas day, I'm usually hitting a least another full bottle of wine.

 

[sadasaulna]

yes my god I was prescribed that and I feel like it doesn't really do a whole lot?
I still have bad panic outbursts even through I have taken the pill, which keeps tempting me to take more of it than prescribed I doubled my dose today from frustration and I don't feel anything bad sure but also it's just like....I can't say I feel relaxed? It just feels like a distraction!!! and I am at home and chilling right now but I am pretty sure if I was in a worse situation at the time I took it I would probably still have panic/anxiety slipping through the cracks:wg:
My doctor said she would not prescribe me anything stronger because I am "too young" (21) and she told me I can take it 3 times a day. (She initially gave it to me as a sort of safety net / SOS medication.
I have very mixed feelings about it.
I feel like it doesn't work a whole lot and it has failed me before. I wonder if I did take it 3 times per day maybe it would do something more??? But then I would probably get addicted??? :sadcat: Many mixed feelings about oxazepam....
Have a good evening

I've heard nothing but bad things about Oxazepam. Everyone seems to have the same story, briefly sorted panic only for a rebound and a desperate need to redose. Far better to use Diazepam of which Oxazepam is one of the many active metabolites but mixed with many other far longer lasting metabolites that gently cruise down. I've heard horror stories about compulsive redosing with Alprazolam but never really had it myself, just the perfect antidote for a panic attack, but every time Oxazepam comes up its seems like I'm re-reading the same story that ends badly, almost always involving rebound panic. Doctors should be ashamed of themselves for prescribing that crap.

If the person who prescribed you is a GP and not a psych understand that they have considerably less understanding of the drugs effects than a psychiatrist unless they've personally taken it. You may feel bad asking it but ask your GP when they prescribe you any MH drug - "Have you ever taken it?" Imagine someone having never smoked weed, or drank alcohol, (or even smoked a cigarette) telling you to how to take it, you'd treat their opinion with a massive dose of salt. Personal experience beats theoretical "knowledge" that your GP skimread from a pamphlet every time.

 

[steewith2ees]

I've heard nothing but bad things about Oxazepam.

I can vouch. after 3 days of rebound anxiety I had the nerve only a greedy junky like me can get by asking for a drug that I can take less of and still get more out of.

 

[pharaoh]

Hello my baby
Hello my darling
Hello my sunshine, sunshine girl!

I've missed this forum. Been through a really shitty time. Eating my usual Bensedin and trying to be responsible but I'm drinking too. Also pregabs when I have some dough.

Also got a hefty bag of the CDC street valium going around in these parts of the world. Eaten a fair few tonight and I'm cabbaged tae fuck. The CDC is the old C ones which I think is a print from old legit ones. Accord maybe? Who the fuck knows.
DC

A white tablet, sugary taste with a bitter aftertaste to mimic legit diazepam of course. Bromazolam is my guess and we shall know after wedinos results come back. Also found 4 of the street (10) ones with a score on the back. Saw one with some weird results including ketamine?! If I knew that I'd be crushing it and snorting it. Most similar looking pills have bromaz though and now this press is out, meaning we will be seeing the CDCs on the street. Same presses run by some OCG with a factory in some industrial warehouse. I'll stick to my legit stuff and keep the nice big baggie that was provided as payment instead of cash. for emergencies. Wanna taper as well as get off the booze but got a long way tae go.

It was all going so fuckin well too.

Hope all are well and sorry to people who I haven't replied to in the messages. I was getting some really good advice and being able to let off steam. Life is fuckin hard man.

Oh and the C/DC thing didn't work and I spent about 5 minutes on that but most people will recognise that print as its what the ones the doctors SHOULD be giving out. C on top, slash in the middle, DC on the bottom. Just having one now, vague taste of alprazolam which makes me thing bromazolam and some on there which look the same contained it. Bitter and nasty but not as bad as legit alpraz (plus they add all the sweetener to give it that phoney diazepam taste). BTW are all Ksalol alpraz just fakes now? Checked wedinos and it would seem so. I'm gonna suggest to my man that he gets a new brand but I'll try a sample given my loyalty etc.

Also what do people think of nitrazepam?

Love ye's xx

 

[50shadesofDave]

Hi Pharaoh, I've read a lot of your posts in this thread and I think our issues regarding benzo supply and the reduction of the substance have a lot in common.
I also had the same thought with using Diclazepam and scales to make a solution, I took heed of the measurement warning written by Bleaney.

I've read this thread in it's entirety and wow, what a seductive substance benzo's are.

How would you rate the current Bensedin Diaz? Some under,some over? Or all under?

I'm hoping to get a taper in place for next year and supply is so unreliable.

Welcome back, hope you're well as can be.

Take care, Dave.

 

[50shadesofDave]

Regarding Nitraz, I would stay clear, although I don't have much experience with it, only used it back in the rave days, Nitraz 10mg and Jellies 30mg three for a quid lol.
They were very nice and a lovely afterglow the next day, but I would advise against adding another benzo to the mix, for a taper though I would be interested to hear any stories, if it's being faked less and available.
Nitraz sort of reminds me of Clonazepam, only less sedation slightly and more euphoria next morning.

Only my thoughts.

 

[Bleaney]

Also what do people think of nitrazepam?

Sorry to hear you've been through a shitty time. I hope things start looking up soon.

I read somewhere that Nitrazepam is highly addictive, and as we all know that all benzos are addictive, I interpreted that to mean that it's even more addictive than most other benzos.

I think it's because it's one of the heavy duty 'big guns.' I wouldn't want to take it for more than a few days. And I've always taken care not to.

You can feel in the effects that it's a heavy hitter. Not something that you would want your receptors to become adjusted to, and to start craving for.

On that effects profile jpg I posted in this thread a few months ago, that shows that 5mg of Nitraz = 2mg of clonazepam for sedative effects. As I usually take 10mg Nitraz tablets that would fully explain why I find them so heavy hitting. 2mg of clonazepam is itself a high dose compared to 10mg of diazepam etc.

Nitraz also scores slightly more highly than clon for psychological anxiety relief, and slightly less for physical anxiety relief. Again as I've been taking 10mg rather than 5, I've personally found it to be much better for physical relaxation.

I've just seen on another equivalence table that they are rating 10mg of nitraz = 0.5mg of Clonazepam. No way is that right! That is miles out!

I can barely feel 1/4 of 2mg of clonazepam, where as I would definately know about it if I'd taken 10mg of Nitrazepam.

I've never tried a 5mg Nitrazepam dose, but I could imagine that being roughly equivalent to 2mg of clonazepam.

 

[Coffeeshroom]

On the Nitrazepam q, I used it for a while as my bedtime benzo but found it to be weak,15-20mg and no sleep where 20mg temazepam works 10x better. Also I don't get sleepy or drowsy at all with clonazepam. Can easy drop 4mg and just function as normal. No feeling fatigued or lazy or tired.

I don't know but my body just reacts different from them but those were also the time that my overall daily benzo intake was high, though now I have brought it down to 30mg diazepam a day.

 

[opiofr3k]

your body reacts different cause of tolerance mb

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

On the Nitrazepam q, I used it for a while as my bedtime benzo but found it to be weak,15-20mg and no sleep where 20mg temazepam works 10x better. Also I don't get sleepy or drowsy at all with clonazepam. Can easy drop 4mg and just function as normal. No feeling fatigued or lazy or tired.

I don't know but my body just reacts different from them but those were also the time that my overall daily benzo intake was high, though now I have brought it down to 30mg diazepam a day.

Exact opposite for me.

10mg Nitrazepam has me lights out within an hour and not stirring at all for at least 7 hours sometimes 8, followed by a couple of hours minimum of groggy feels. serious shit imo.

Would take 30mg Temazepam to put me to sleep, and then only for 6 hours, and not as deep a sleep as from the Nitraz. No groggy feels in morning though.

No real tolerance at all either, I'm a once-a-week benzo user, sometimes twice but not often. Also have regular 2 weeks without any at all (every 5 or 6 weeks or so). Same pattern now for close to 20 years.

It's to be noted though that sedatives don't really 'do it' for me which is perhaps why useage never escalated (that and I've witnessed the horrors of benzo addiction in particular very closely and it's something I've been hyper-conscious to avoid). If you replaced 'sedatives' with 'stimulants' however then that would be a completely different story (ie all bets are instantly off as soon as consumed)

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Whatever happened to Nifoxepam?

Although it had very little to offer recreationally, I found it to be superb for switching the lights out in a non blackout kind of way.

It was like a breath of fresh air after the clusterfuck that was phenazepam...

 

[Coffeeshroom]

your body reacts different cause of tolerance mb

I had myself down to only taking 2mg clonazepam a day, 1mg x2 a day and at that time I was also prescribed a night benzo, mostly 20mg temazepam. And even in that time 20mg nitrazepam didn't make me sleep but temazepam did. So I don't know.

 

[sadasaulna]

Maybe it was just underdosed, but when I was doing 5mg nitraz it was absolutely fine, felt just like 5mg diaz except more sedating, which was what I'd been after since I can find its a little easy to stay up on the pooter all night with diaz. I've never bought the potency of clonazepam either, equiv charts put it on par with alprazolam and its just not IMHO. 0.5mg alprazolam is lovely and can kill a panic attack stone dead.

Admittedly the only alpraz I ever had (I had 10 strips of 10) were those 0.5mg Tehran Darou's. "Persian Peaches" I called 'em. Awesome stuff. Certain they were redirected legit pharma since they even had fine sand clinging to the strips from the warehouse they must have been sitting in, in Iran. You can't get them for love nor money now, must have been a one off.

0.5mg clonazepam isn't very noticeable to me. Same with Lorazepam. I find 1mg of the stuff to be boring and very mild.

In terms of feel my faves are etizolam and diazepam
For sleep, a Z-drug or nitrazepam or etizolam
For panic attacks, alprazolam is the queen

 

[sadasaulna]

Regarding the peaches, its the obscure brands that pop out of nowhere to keep your eye on since they're usually one offs. They'll be churning out fake Galenika and MSJ till the cows come home. Once got my hands on some Polish brand of Diaz I've never seen before or since. They were absolutely bang on, as good as anything I've ever gotten from a real GP script. I just bought 20, but had I realised how fleeting such things were back then I'd have bought a couple hundred more.