Hopeless At the end of my rope

[JDizzle502]

Hey everyone, longtime lurker, 1st ever post.
I believe I'll take my proverbial medicine today and get it over with. I haven't really been happy in over 15 years. No kids, very few friends, nothing in front of me but incarceration, homelessness, destitution & the like. Fuck I hate being in the US sometimes.
I'm not a bad person. But all the trouble in my life has come from drugs and it's taken everything from me. I don't think I can let them do it again. I just can't stand the idea of having my freedom taken away, being separated from everything, over a substance. I just don't think I can take it anymore.

 

[anon1546]

Hey, I seen this post has no replies, I made an account just now to respond. Please don't do anything you can't take back. SUD is a cope, it can and will break the willpower and knock down even the strongest of addicts, but you gotta get back up and keep fighting, it gets better. I know everyone says that, but I'm serious. The disease creates feelings of immense guilt, shame, and loss of control. It doesn't define you, nor me, nor anyone else that fiends. Everybody got vices man. You talking about incarceration, houselessness, and destitution. I've spent half my life on the street and a quarter incarcerated, my mom introduced me to dope and IV as a child. I get where you're coming from, seeing no way out but to quit. it ain't the answer, every day you have the decision to prove those thoughts correct and turn ideas into reality, but at the same time; you can say fuck being a statistic and focus on what you want and how YOU wish to feel and turn those thoughts of positivity and love into reality. I'm bad at this kinda stuff, but I don't want another human being to reach out for help like this and feel like no one's listening. Please respond if you're ok

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

Hey, I would’ve responded too if I’d have seen this earlier. Please hang on okay *as I write this I think gosh that sounds cliche telling someone to hang on … but I mean it. I understand pain very much & you’re not alone in feeling alone. If you can’t do anything else today then literally hangin on, then do that.
Sending you support & hope, one moment at a time
Gentle hug

 

[RyGly76]

Hey everyone, longtime lurker, 1st ever post.
I believe I'll take my proverbial medicine today and get it over with. I haven't really been happy in over 15 years. No kids, very few friends, nothing in front of me but incarceration, homelessness, destitution & the like. Fuck I hate being in the US sometimes.
I'm not a bad person. But all the trouble in my life has come from drugs and it's taken everything from me. I don't think I can let them do it again. I just can't stand the idea of having my freedom taken away, being separated from everything, over a substance. I just don't think I can take it anymore.

Im in the same boat, 48yrs old, nothing to hang my hat on! Two kids that I gave up (voluntary) because I can't meth. I have nothing to show for the last 30 yrs except living on the streets, finding a job, getting off the streets, relapse and burn it all down! Rinse and repeat, the only thing that keeps me going sometimes is Piper, my black adopted cat. Now I have a job and my own place and trying to shove a meth habit in there somewhere. I tell myself If you fuck yourself again you might as well kill yourself because all I'm going to be is a fucking junkie