Misc Esketamine and antipsychotics

[Juicewrldfan]

So, my psychiatrist last week before my relapse on stims and not the drug dealing addiction specialists brought up esketamine(spravoto) for bipolar depression. I’m so not concerned about abuse as I have to take it in the office if I do it and TBH I had IV ketamine therapy years ago and idk if she was underdosing me or what but I didn’t nitice much of anything at all but I think I was on abilify at the time. So maybe that’s why idk.

I was just wondering and didn’t think to ask my doctor at the time do all antipsychotics block esketamine?

I heard that there’s some kind of enzyme that APs cause that prevent the medicinal effects of ketamine.

How true is this in your experience or knowledge? Thanks.

 

[Lysosomalstorage]

From what I've read antipsychotics are likely to increase potential rare negative side effects of Eskatamine rather than block it's effects. Although those side effects are things like suicidal ideation and anxiety which would mean Eskatamine doesn't work for you anyway. Ask your doctor.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Yeah actually, I just want to stay away from anything that can trigger addiction. I’m going to pass on it

 

[kongoman]

Yeah actually, I just want to stay away from anything that can trigger addiction. I’m going to pass on it

Is youre struggling with depression esketamine could help you a lot. As you say spravatto is a single use medicine so its impossible to overuse it. For me it has a very antidepressant effect.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

I guess the concern I have is what if it activates the reward center of my brain and then I find myself abusing stimulants. Then again, I guess it may not work like that but I’m terrified of ever relapsing again because I lose complete control when I relapse. I mean I injected Oman unknown solution I had preloaded in a syringe from God knows how long ago. Suffice it to say I paid for it, immediately I had a fever and soon after started omitting uncontrollably for an entire hour…severe shivers though my heat was set on 80 and even went outside in the sun wrapped in a blanket and I could t get warm.

Fever etc…all these symptoms but omitting lasted about three days before it was completely gone. That’s the kind of shit I do when I relapse. Stupid shit I’d never do in my normal state of mind…stupid fiend shit…

It’s true what they say in AA I guess. It’s a progressive disease. Shit id never done a year or two ago.

I think some on here aren’t addicts and just recreational users who use responsibly and my hats off to them. But I can’t deny it anymore, I’m a very sick individual and I need help. I despise a lot about AA and swore I’d never go back because I’d have sponsors trying to dictate my entire life including how I handle my marriage and stuff and others who used sponsorship as a way of lifting their egos. But I just can’t do this alone anymore. Maybe I’ll go to connect with others but not get a sponsor l.

I don’t use every day but I usually binge and when I binge I go crazy. Legit crazy.

Them again if esketamine can lift my depression then maybe I should explore it. I guess I’ll discuss my concern about activating the reward center too much with my doctor and see what they say.

 

[kongoman]

I read about you injection. WTF!! Ive done stupid things like that. Im embarrassed to write what ive done.

I dont think addiction its a desease. I think it is a kind of conduct disorder wich for me its not the same. I dont feel ill at all, even after hearing thousands of times in rehabs that We are really sick. I dont beleive it anymore this theory of the oldschool therapists. Ive heard of a very interesting doctor( I cant remember the name) that says that trauma can lead to addiction, and trauma for him its not that someone rapes you or something like this, it can be an issue that you cant overcome. In my case I think I had a trauma in my childhood that lead to severe addiction. If you want it can be a kind of a behavior. I can be addict at anything, sugar(i am), girls, sport, music(i am).

After many times at rehab, after being on and off drugs for 20 years Im coming to the conclusion that I need drugs for the rest of my life. I know that this will probably shorten my life but WTF I dont care. Im not encouraging anybody to use drugs. I have to say that my most wonderful time was when I was sober during 5 years like 12 years ago. This can sound contradictory and yes Im a bit of contradictory man.

I dont wanna fuck up your thread. Probably there are people in here that can be more knowedgeable about the pathways of esketamine in our brains.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

I read about you injection. WTF!! Ive done stupid things like that. Im embarrassed to write what ive done.

I dont think addiction its a desease. I think it is a kind of conduct disorder wich for me its not the same. I dont feel ill at all, even after hearing thousands of times in rehabs that We are really sick. I dont beleive it anymore this theory of the oldschool therapists. Ive heard of a very interesting doctor( I cant remember the name) that says that trauma can lead to addiction, and trauma for him its not that someone rapes you or something like this, it can be an issue that you cant overcome. In my case I think I had a trauma in my childhood that lead to severe addiction. If you want it can be a kind of a behavior. I can be addict at anything, sugar(i am), girls, sport, music(i am).

After many times at rehab, after being on and off drugs for 20 years Im coming to the conclusion that I need drugs for the rest of my life. I know that this will probably shorten my life but WTF I dont care. Im not encouraging anybody to use drugs. I have to say that my most wonderful time was when I was sober during 5 years like 12 years ago. This can sound contradictory and yes Im a bit of contradictory man.

I dont wanna fuck up your thread. Probably there are people in here that can be more knowedgeable about the pathways of esketamine in our brains.

Yeah I mean. Idk if it’s a disease or not but I do know that for me it was progressive. I just have no control when I start using anymore and I’m terrified for my life and loved ones.

I just don’t want to do it anymore. I can’t make any progress and it’s destroying my wives health. I literally caused her to have a psychotic break she probably never would have had had I not started using again. I put her thru years of financial hardship and struggle the last three years or so of our marriage when I hit really bad. And then there’s the worrying about finding me overdosed again or worse.

It’s just caused too much pain and destruction and I just don’t want to take any chances which is why I’m doing something I somewhat despise and going to AA tonight. I think I’m going to go every day for awhile at least until I find a new job. Too much time on my hands can be bad. Very bad.

Heck I was so depressed when I woke up today ( I have bipolar disorder). I went and stole some Benzedrex after I initially posted this. But I told myself I would only get enough to tip the scales out of depression some. And I did. I didn’t get enough to get high. Takes me like at least three but more often 4 cottons to get high. I only grabbed two. And no it didn’t get me high and it did work but I’m still mad at myself for the low life behavior. Stealing like a drug addict. Idk want to be a drug addict I fucking hate it.

So I’m not proud of myself for doing it and decided man I’ll go to AA everyday if that’s what it takes. I just don’t want to go back down that path. And yeah I didn’t get high and only took enough to lift me a bit up out of depression but it’s still abusing drugs imo. And a few years ago I was taking about 9-10 cottons a day and yes I extract all of them. I don’t eat the cotton but still. I don’t want to go back to that mess again and I very well could have had it got me high today.

Think I’m going to add in exercise in the mornings again too. I just want to do everything I can to save my life and give my loved ones a happy life. It’s sad to see the person I turned my wife into. She used to be so loving and positive and caring. But years of lying about my addiction and putting her thru sooo much stress has really changed her in someways but I’m starting to see her come back to herself the more hope she sees in me.

I can’t let her down again. I just can’t live with myself if I do. I don’t feel like you are derailing my thread so no worries there man. Thanks for your insight. I like hearing your perspective.

 

[kongoman]

Im sorry man for you and youre loved ones. I know what youre talking about. Yes Addiction can litterally destroy your life. Ive gone far too and made suffer my loved ones too(my parents and friends, and girlfriends). But if its a desease that cause that why you should be responsible of youre acts, its only a question. Are you responsible to be an addict?? Im in peace of being an addict being or not a desease. Its a thing that I didnt choose at all so I cant be responsible. Thats what I think. Im not proud of being an addict but im not beating with that. Its a mental ill responsible of his actions?? Being in peace with yourself its a very important thing to improve in your life.

There was a time that I blamed my patents to be an addict but I dont do it anymore. They did it at their best and no one is teached to be a good parent. They loved me and give me what they thought it was the best, so I camt blame him.

In the other hand I dont go anymore to any therapist. Im fed up with. Im on methadone and I seldom binge on drugs at the moment. I do drugs but not at the point to cause problems in my life. Thinking that I can use drugs for the rest of my life its a kind of relief not as thinking that I cant that cause real anxiety for me. I know that I can be wrong and who knows If I Think different in a few years.

I hope you find relief from your depression that will help onto your drug use. Ive struggled for 4 years with a depression that had been worst than my addiction in therms of feeling like a shit. Finally ive recovered and feeling happy with my everyday life

 

[Jabberwocky]

Have you ever thought about trying the SMART program?
I haven’t, but I’ve heard some good things about it.
May be worth looking into. I’m not against 12 step programs, but I have my reasons for not loving them (personally).

Just a thought. Never know what you may benefit from!

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Yeah. I went so far to apply to join the vets and first responder online meeting. Just haven’t went yet.
I have the book too. I think I’ll check it out later this week.

@superenforcer

 

[Jabberwocky]

Home - SMART Recovery

SMART Recovery is the leading evidence-based addiction recovery program. Join a free meeting today and begin experiencing a Life Beyond Addiction.

smartrecovery.org

I’ve only read about it, I’ve never attended a smart meeting. I did attend CA/AA & NA on and off for years.

Smart recovery is a science based approach. AA is centred around spirituality. I think both programs can be beneficial to anyone willing to approach them with an open mind.
I don’t want to shit all over the 12 steps, because I truly did gain a lot from having a sponsor and working the program.. and I’m thankful for all the insight it provided, as well as the connections I made… but certain aspects started to do more harm than good. So I decided to step away.

My compulsive/impulsive behaviours lead me down some very dark, twisted, scary paths. If physical exhaustion didn’t stop me, mental exhaustion certainly would. I spent a decent amount of time at ERs and psych wards.

It’s incredibly hard to think about all the pain I’ve caused in the past.
That being said, I’m also incredibly proud of myself for how far I’ve come.

Whatever sobriety looks like to you, I sincerely hope you find it and stick with it
Try not to continue beating yourself up… it won’t do “future you” any good.

I believe you can do it

 

[Juicewrldfan]

Home - SMART Recovery

SMART Recovery is the leading evidence-based addiction recovery program. Join a free meeting today and begin experiencing a Life Beyond Addiction.

smartrecovery.org

I’ve only read about it, I’ve never attended a smart meeting. I did attend CA/AA & NA on and off for years.

Smart recovery is a science based approach. AA is centred around spirituality. I think both programs can be beneficial to anyone willing to approach them with an open mind.
I don’t want to shit all over the 12 steps, because I truly did gain a lot from having a sponsor and working the program.. and I’m thankful for all the insight it provided, as well as the connections I made… but certain aspects started to do more harm than good. So I decided to step away.

My compulsive/impulsive behaviours lead me down some very dark, twisted, scary paths. If physical exhaustion didn’t stop me, mental exhaustion certainly would. I spent a decent amount of time at ERs and psych wards.

It’s incredibly hard to think about all the pain I’ve caused in the past.
That being said, I’m also incredibly proud of myself for how far I’ve come.

Whatever sobriety looks like to you, I sincerely hope you find it and stick with it
Try not to continue beating yourself up… it won’t do “future you” any good.

I believe you can do it

Thank you friend. I went to an amazing AA meeting last night. It was a speaker meeting but the guy had 45 years sober I believe in recovery and I’m says that alcohol still calls out to him the same intensity as it did in the beginning but AA keeps him sober and he had alot more to say than that but I thought that was amazing to hear because I only ever hear of people saying the obsession had been lifted from them.

He said he believes ppl when they say that but for him it is t the case and said that’s why at 72 and 45 years sober he still goes to 6-9 meetings a week.

Idk I found it very uplifting.

Oh and I also have successfully transferred all my care away from the clinic that will write me whatever I want except my suboxone but I did get a referral for that to be moved. This means I can finally be done with this clinic!! So happy about this and I landed an amazing interview for a job that pays more money than I’ve ever made. I believe God is looking out for me since he sees I’m trying to do the right thing.