paltatomate
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2022
- Messages
- 11,081
I've grown spiritually, and hope to keep doing it until one day I can be the god I worship. Until then ...
I’d love to see your natal chart! I study traditional Hellenistic astrology.Good question! I'd be whichever god is a hermit 90% of the time but comes out of his cave to share wisdom and help others who are open hearted and willing to share loving kindness, as well as those who show interest in what I know instead of alienating me for being wise. Oh, and to get groceries. I spend so much of my time learning that I'm convinced if this were the pre-internet era, my home would be wall to wall books. Thank god for e-books that can all fit onto my tablet. Even though my home is physically in the core of a city, I live on the social periphery. I tried for years to not be that way but it just happens by default. Mostly because I have severe illness that keeps me imprisoned. I think it will always be this way. I have been so "off the grid" that reintegration with mainstream society is impossible for me at this point. The confinement of having to think/act according to a group's rules would cause intense anxiety. For the same reason, I can't tolerate roommates. I tried that about 4 or 5 times I and can't live with other human beings. Their unaddressed crazy makes me crazy. I'm a very niche creature. Honestly I don't know how I'm even alive. I feel like that animal you find in a rainforest that is living on top of a fungus that's living on a tree that's living in a specific 15 square kilometer patch where only those trees can grow; and if someone came in and cut down those 15 square kilometers, I would be doomed. My niche is so narrow that if society shifts in a minor unfavourable way, I will go extinct.
In classical astrology, I seem to be the most like Saturn as much as I'm loathe to admit it... except without the hard-edged personality. My home surroundings are as aesthetically beautiful as I can make them, with lots of plants, crystals, colourful art, wall hangings, medicinal herbs (I have a full apothecary in my home), altars to various beings, science projects (I'm always looking under the microscope or practicing chemical reactions), etc. So although I'm a hermit, my home environment is like the wizard's tower. So... not quite Saturnian. Maybe Saturn and Venus combined. The secrets of the universe and spiritual matters are more important to me than other worldly concerns. I relate to Thoth from ancient Egypt as well.
If anyone knows any other gods off the top of their head that they thought of when they read this, I'd love to know. I'm not versed in a lot of traditional pantheons.
I’d love to see your natal chart! I study traditional Hellenistic astrology.
Btw, I completely relate to being imprisoned by illness though my case is due to accidents as a young child. I’ve spent most of the last 14 years as an involuntary hermit. Very bad for me however as I’m extremely extroverted & need people to care for. And we share many interests! That’s one good thing about isolation; you can focus on your various skills, hobbies, art etc.
Is there a god you most resonate with? Not just think you are the most like, but also appreciate.
I've long come to the conclusion that the monumental achievements of Western Civilizations are inextricably intertwined with the Catholic Church and that in fact Western Civilization as we understand it could not have existed without it. To me that's just a historical fact.
Good there's always an alternative. Not everyone likes fishAbstaining from meat on Friday (I do drugs instead)
I wanna say Jesus cause that’s my man and is the goat in the New Testament but I find myself faultering a lot. I got a serious case of Akrasia as Aristotle would say. Mainly in my addiction it seems I can’t seem to commit to my values and be who my beliefs say I should be. More likely I’m not similar to any god more a very humanistic hedonist.So I see a lot of people believe in god or gods and are quite exspressive in their feelings/thoughts on the matter. All seem convinced, justified and devout to these beliefs; which is as it should be in religion, I suppose.
I am of the opinion that a believer of a god will follow the tenets thereof and act out these basic beliefs in their every day lives.
Most would agree that worshipping god would have them be kind, show mercy and help others who are down by whatever means at hand... to love, in other words.
For those belivers here at bl; what god would your actions equate to? Not talking about what we say, preach or believe when we are on about or faiths but our deeds, actions and thoughts when faced with others who may be in dire straights?
Are you patient, kind and giving?
Do you try to wiggle something out of the one in need to advance your own agenda?
Do your actions scream selfishness or selflessness?
What kind of fruit do you exhibit in real life? The fruit in nature reveals the true identity of the plant, tree or species: A cat has kittens not rhinos and a lemon tree lemons not kiwis.
So.......
Well you are not the only one, you - me - every Christian out there is struggling with one or more of the 10 Commandments ( in Catholicism at least drug use is considered a violation of the fifth ) and has a thing for one or more of the Seven Deadly Sins ( addiction is a form of Gluttony in a way). Still, our sins is does not define who we are is at most what we do, if Christ went thru all that crazy shit to save us maybe we are worth something even despite our faults and all .I find myself faultering a lot. I got a serious case of Akrasia as Aristotle would say. Mainly in my addiction it seems I can’t seem to commit to my values and be who my beliefs say I should be
On comedown of a really bad stimulant bender and honestly I needed this. Crying a little bit, thank you man I think it’s in acts of kindness that god really shows himself. Even in a drug harm reduction forum where I’m admittedly unwilling to give up my addiction, people can share their kindness and be a part of the change. Godspeed brother.Well you are not the only one, you - me - every Christian out there is struggling with one or more of the 10 Commandments ( in Catholicism at least drug use is considered a violation of the fifth ) and has a thing for one or more of the Seven Deadly Sins ( addiction is a form of Gluttony in a way). Still, our sins is does not define who we are is at most what we do, if Christ went thru all that crazy shit to save us maybe we are worth something even despite our faults and all .
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." (Romans, 7, 15-20)
Oi amico bulgaro, che succede? tutto bene ? non farmi preoccupare......do feel free to send a Pm or whatever , ok?fuck just a week before a semana santa....on the limit of ma abilities to not go insane....wish i be back same old guy before seven years....without to be sucked in this....not wooden cross,but made of marble......Help me Christ i can't handle anymore......too horiffic things have been seen unseenable......can't do nothin'....can't be the same anymore......oh God how i wish this cup has passed me
He had several songs about him my fave:I wanna say Jesus
He had several songs about him my fave:
What is Nihilism in a word, please?
Peace
I did a more in depth look into him after having not slept last night and being pretty fucked this morning. I really like this, while I hope one day I can get sober it feels good to know god accepts one who truly accepts god into his life despite his frequent and habitual sins.My pleasure man, I m actually happy for having done something remotely helpful for someone for a change
Many people here on BL have not a big opinion of Christianity but with all their effort in helping and supporting fellow addicts are doing God´s work anyway, He is funny that way....
Are you familiar with the story of St Mark Ji Tianxiang ? He was an opium addict that was unable to overcome his addiction and was thus barred from receiving the Sacraments for like 30 years, still "for all his fallenness, Ji knew himself to be loved by the Father and by the Church. He knew that the Lord wanted his heart, even if he couldn’t manage to give over his life. He couldn’t stay sober, but he could keep showing up."
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St. Mark Ji Tianxiang: opium addict, martyr and saint--Aleteia
He is a beautiful witness to the grace of God at work in the most hidden ways, to God’s ability to make great Saints of the most unlikely among us...aleteia.org
This Addict Is a Saint - Ignatian Spirituality
A friend of mine recently sent me a unusual holy card. It honors St. Mark Ji Tianxiang, a Chinese layman who was murdered in 1900, along with dozens of other Catholics in his village, in the vicious persecution of Christians during the Boxer rebellion. That’s not the unusual thing. The Church...www.ignatianspirituality.com
He died as a martyr and he is the Saint Patron of the addicts. I m not saying that we should not try to get our shit together at some point and that our only hope is martyrdom, just that God has definitely some creative ways of making good use even of the most fucked up fuck up like your humble here if we let Him. Stay safe and God Bless![]()