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⫸Trans and LGBTQIA+ Discussion⫷

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Among those receiving a vaginoplasty, the rate of suicide attempts was twice as high after the surgery, at 3.3%, compared with before, at 1.5%.
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The phalloplasty suicide-attempt rate was similar to the general population, while the vaginoplasty group's rate was more than twice as high as the general population
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Patients undergoing [gender-affirming surgery] with a history of prior psychiatric emergences or feminizing transition are at higher risk and should be counseled appropriately
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I'm using this thread to ask a question that's been on my mind since I met my mom's new bridge partner. He's 70, obviously male (on and off mustache) and identifies as such MOST OF THE TIME. I've seen him on photosaas a man.

Sometimes he likes to dress in women's clothes. When he does, he adopts more female attitudes and likes to be called by a female form of his nickname (Fran instead of Kiko for Fransisco). He told my mom that he had this thing about wearing female clothes since he was a child, but started doing it in public only a few years ago, after his first wife died. He says he's not gay though he had some homosexual experiences, and that he doesn't feel like "being in the wrong body". It's just that from time to time "Kiko needs a vacation and that's when Fran emerges."

My mom (70, very open-minded and curious but no subculture experience whatsoever) has asked me many questions about the meaning of the different letters in LGBTQ+ and I answered her as good as I could. I'm no expert in this field because to me a person is an individual who doesn't need a social label.

Now I know that there are trans men/women, who feel like they are of the opposite sex despite their anatomy. There are transvestites, whoare men who like to dress as women (why not the other way round)? None of these people are automatically gay.

But there my knowledge end and my questions start:

Is a drag queen a transvestite who just likes more flashy clothes and makeup?
Can there be such a thing as a straight trans person (because at some point there will be a crossing over, be it from the self-perspective or the biological point of view)?
As what would my mom's bridge partner identify (that's her question)?
 
lecroute said:
I'm using this thread to ask a question that's been on my mind since I met my mom's new bridge partner. He's 70, obviously male (on and off mustache) and identifies as such MOST OF THE TIME. I've seen him on photosaas a man.

Sometimes he likes to dress in women's clothes. When he does, he adopts more female attitudes and likes to be called by a female form of his nickname (Fran instead of Kiko for Fransisco). He told my mom that he had this thing about wearing female clothes since he was a child, but started doing it in public only a few years ago, after his first wife died. He says he's not gay though he had some homosexual experiences, and that he doesn't feel like "being in the wrong body". It's just that from time to time "Kiko needs a vacation and that's when Fran emerges."

My mom (70, very open-minded and curious but no subculture experience whatsoever) has asked me many questions about the meaning of the different letters in LGBTQ+ and I answered her as good as I could. I'm no expert in this field because to me a person is an individual who doesn't need a social label.

Now I know that there are trans men/women, who feel like they are of the opposite sex despite their anatomy. There are transvestites, whoare men who like to dress as women (why not the other way round)? None of these people are automatically gay.

But there my knowledge end and my questions start:

Is a drag queen a transvestite who just likes more flashy clothes and makeup?
Can there be such a thing as a straight trans person (because at some point there will be a crossing over, be it from the self-perspective or the biological point of view)?
As what would my mom's bridge partner identify (that's her question)?
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pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Autogynephilia: an underappreciated paraphilia - PubMed

Autogynephilia is defined as a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female. It is the paraphilia that is theorized to underlie transvestism and some forms of male-to-female (MtF) transsexualism. Autogynephilia encompasses sexual arousal with cross-dressing and...
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
 
lecroute said:
Is a drag queen a transvestite who just likes more flashy clothes and makeup?
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AFAIK a draq queen is a male transvestite who uses flashy, "exaggerated " feminine clothes and make up for entertainment-artistic purposes
lecroute said:
Can there be such a thing as a straight trans person (because at some point there will be a crossing over, be it from the self-perspective or the biological point of view)?
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I guess it s one of the main things that are being debated here, namely whether or not a Male to Female (MtF) and a Female to Male (FtM) trans are "as female as" and " as male as " biological men and women or not. If a MtF trans= a biological woman , then if she has sex with a man she´s basically straight, and if a FtM trans = a biological man, then if he has sex with women she s straight.

As a generally speaking straight man who at times has felt attraction for MtF trans and acted accordingly I find this particularly convenient, because if a MtF=biological female even if she happens to have a cock, then my occasional fooling around with MtF trans is a straight as straight can be and so am I! But obviously there are lots of epistemic ( what s being a woman-being a man- being gay or bi or whatever the fuck) and political issues (feminists are pretty divided over this issue, there are Terfs - trans-exclusionary radical feminist who deny that MtF women are women etc) and yeah
lecroute said:
The whole gender thing is very confusing
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indeed, it s also an extremely ideological and heated debate that I don t think is doing any good , especially to the LGBTQetc community.
 
Jen X said:
My neighbors son is 12 and his teacher keeps pushing that he's a she because he plays violin and sings in the choir. He's also a very timid kid and don't like sports and most friends are girls. Didn't think those things were signs of your gender.

Another kid overheard and now he's getting bullied confused and depressed. He refuses to go back to school and keep asking his mother if he's really a boy because he doesn't feel like a girl.

That teacher should be fired. A normal little boy with zero trans feelings is now depressed and bullied.
Makes you wonder how schools are confusing and how many kids jump to be trans from their teacher pushing.
Crazy world we live in
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It's concerning that the teacher seems to be making assumptions about your neighbor's son based on gender stereotypes. Enjoying activities like playing the violin, singing in the choir, or having friendships with girls doesn't define someone's gender identity. Gender is a complex aspect of identity that goes beyond interests and hobbies.
 
lecroute said:
I'm using this thread to ask a question that's been on my mind since I met my mom's new bridge partner. He's 70, obviously male (on and off mustache) and identifies as such MOST OF THE TIME. I've seen him on photosaas a man.

Sometimes he likes to dress in women's clothes. When he does, he adopts more female attitudes and likes to be called by a female form of his nickname (Fran instead of Kiko for Fransisco). He told my mom that he had this thing about wearing female clothes since he was a child, but started doing it in public only a few years ago, after his first wife died. He says he's not gay though he had some homosexual experiences, and that he doesn't feel like "being in the wrong body". It's just that from time to time "Kiko needs a vacation and that's when Fran emerges."

My mom (70, very open-minded and curious but no subculture experience whatsoever) has asked me many questions about the meaning of the different letters in LGBTQ+ and I answered her as good as I could. I'm no expert in this field because to me a person is an individual who doesn't need a social label.

Now I know that there are trans men/women, who feel like they are of the opposite sex despite their anatomy. There are transvestites, whoare men who like to dress as women (why not the other way round)? None of these people are automatically gay.

But there my knowledge end and my questions start:

Is a drag queen a transvestite who just likes more flashy clothes and makeup?
Can there be such a thing as a straight trans person (because at some point there will be a crossing over, be it from the self-perspective or the biological point of view)?
As what would my mom's bridge partner identify (that's her question)?
Click to expand...

Alright fine here we go - the last shameful thing I have yet to share on the internet: when I was younger I'd wear my sister clothes sneakily. Mostly just her underwear. My mom caught me because I was literally so not sneaky it blows my mind these days. She sat me down one day and was like.. so, I know this is what you've been doing, you can't do that hers are clean if you want some get your own.

Anyway, I stopped because it wasn't worth the drama and I wasn't hellbent on the activity to get my own, and I've never done drag.. but, not sure if this is relevant enough an experience but I don't have a gay bone in my body, to my knowledge.

I've even hooked up with 2 different guys on drugs, two different times. Both times, same picture: I simply never got hard despite inordinate amounts of time trying with my genitalia in their mouths.

So, I don't know if this is inappropriate or something or even relevant but also, when I see two guys kiss I'm a bit confused about it being beautiful or however it usually is described. Not to say I'm homophobic but it doesn't turn me on or even instinctually make sense.

Despite dressing in women's clothes.
 
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That's interesting. How old were you when you liked to wear your sister's undies? Because there seems to be a phase during which kids like to explore with "the other side". Like playing doctor and such. So your kink might have been just a developmental thing. Like when my ex's son had a few weeks around age 5 when he was constantly asking questions about vaginas (like why doesn't he have one). It stopped as suddenly as it started.
 
lecroute said:
That's interesting. How old were you when you liked to wear your sister's undies? Because there seems to be a phase during which kids like to explore with "the other side". Like playing doctor and such. So your kink might have been just a developmental thing. Like when my ex's son had a few weeks around age 5 when he was constantly asking questions about vaginas (like why doesn't he have one). It stopped as suddenly as it started.
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I don't exactly remember. Around the time I started getting aroused so maybe 4th grade which is what?
 
Madness said:
Alright fine here we go - the last shameful thing I have yet to share on the internet: when I was younger I'd wear my sisters clothes sneakily. Mostly just her underwear. My mom caught me because I was literally so not sneaky it blows my mind these days. She sat me down one day and was like.. so, I know this is what you've been doing, you can't do that hers are clean if you want some get your own.

Anyway, I stopped because it wasn't worth the drama and I wasn't hellbent on the activity to get my own, and I've never done drag.. but, not sure if this is relevant enough an experience but I don't really have a gay bone in my body, to my knowledge.

I've even hooked up with 2 different guys on drugs, two different times. I simply never got hard despite inordinate amounts of time trying with my genitalia in their mouths.

So, I don't know if this is inappropriate or something or even relevant but also, when I see too guys kiss I'm sort of, not sure if "confused" is the word, but just don't find it appealing whatsoever. Not to say I'm homophobic but unfortunately it doesn't turn me on.

Also, guys coming on to me IRL at parties and such, annoys me a lot. I might humor a "you're cute" but commenting or asking about my junk or asking to take me elsewhere.. the whole trying to turn straight guys gay theme is absurd, in my opinion.

Throughout my life I'd been what I call friends with maybe, 7 or 8 out of the closet gay men. I knew that they wouldn't try to push it because they respected that I wasn't attracted to guys romantically or sexually.
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In Canada they would have started you on hormone blockers . Stuff like this is why I'm against messing with kids hormones until they are adults.
 
lecroute said:
That's interesting. How old were you when you liked to wear your sister's undies? Because there seems to be a phase during which kids like to explore with "the other side". Like playing doctor and such. So your kink might have been just a developmental thing. Like when my ex's son had a few weeks around age 5 when he was constantly asking questions about vaginas (like why doesn't he have one). It stopped as suddenly as it started.
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When I was a kid idolized my dad and hunted and fished and wore a utility belt. Just a phase though, I've always been a tomboy but don't want to be a man.
 
Jen X said:
When I was a kid idolized my dad and hunted and fished and wore a utility belt. Just a phase though, I've always been a tomboy but don't want to be a man.
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I didn't like to wear pants when I was little, and I always like my hair long. But in other way I liked boy things. Maybe because I grew up with my dad and a nanny, so of course I did a lot of "manly" stuff. Like electrical stuff, and building things and repairing cars. Later, when I was sent to live with my mom as a preteen, I couldn't do much with the girls. So I had male friends or girls that were tomboys (not many of them available, though). As a teen that was a problem because I got to hang out with all the cool guys, which made me even more - unapproachable I think is a good word - to the other girls. I don't identify myself as female (though I put the cross next to that word) but neither do I identify me as male. I identify myself as me, and that goes for a lot of things.

But as we are all in a confessing mood here: When I was little (I guess around 5 or 6) I had a phase where I wanted to pee like a boy. Which meant I took off my panties and placed myself over the toilet and peed while standing. It wasn't quite the same, but it was the best I could come up with.
I think by now someone has invented something to give a femal that kind of experience, don't know
 
lecroute said:
I'm using this thread to ask a question that's been on my mind since I met my mom's new bridge partner. He's 70, obviously male (on and off mustache) and identifies as such MOST OF THE TIME. I've seen him on photosaas a man.

Sometimes he likes to dress in women's clothes. When he does, he adopts more female attitudes and likes to be called by a female form of his nickname (Fran instead of Kiko for Fransisco). He told my mom that he had this thing about wearing female clothes since he was a child, but started doing it in public only a few years ago, after his first wife died. He says he's not gay though he had some homosexual experiences, and that he doesn't feel like "being in the wrong body". It's just that from time to time "Kiko needs a vacation and that's when Fran emerges."

My mom (70, very open-minded and curious but no subculture experience whatsoever) has asked me many questions about the meaning of the different letters in LGBTQ+ and I answered her as good as I could. I'm no expert in this field because to me a person is an individual who doesn't need a social label.

Now I know that there are trans men/women, who feel like they are of the opposite sex despite their anatomy. There are transvestites, whoare men who like to dress as women (why not the other way round)? None of these people are automatically gay.

But there my knowledge end and my questions start:

Is a drag queen a transvestite who just likes more flashy clothes and makeup?
Can there be such a thing as a straight trans person (because at some point there will be a crossing over, be it from the self-perspective or the biological point of view)?
As what would my mom's bridge partner identify (that's her question)?
Click to expand...
laugh at me if u want ,but imo all this things with trans imo comes from the food-it's absolute shit...print meat on 3d printer,gmo everywhere,who knows what in bottle water....sounds like a conspirative theory,but it has sence....that is total disbalance of gonades in male and female body....poor societies who ates more pure food like those in some part of Africa or Papua-they don't have such issue.....it's not a problem of choise for me...it's forced from above....from government structures,corporations.....leaders of so called free and democratic world....yeah i could be wrong of course....but think a little bit about it.......this terrifies me...insanity becomes new normal....lie is truth....now in fockin EU soon we will got ministry of Truth...ye 1984......am i crazy?may be yes or may be not.....
 
Jen X said:
I highly doubt here in Canada she would have much of a chance and would probably just be branded a bigot. I asked him to help me paint my back steps so i'm going to talk to him then and remind him that he's talented and anyone can sing and play the violin. Breaks my heart because he's been shoveling my driveway and mows my lawn and he's the sweetest kid.
His mom is a nurse practitioner and his father is a bank manager and she's mentioned sending him to a private catholic school. She's not sending him back to that school and i don't blame her.
It's sad. She's scared the teacher will call children's services saying they don't support their trans kid. The teacher is trans so she may just be projecting but that's just wrong.
Kids these days have it so much worse. In our day we didn't have internet bullies or people recording our embarrassments. I can see why kids are more depressed these days.
Being more tolerant is great because i went to school with gay people in the early 90's and they stayed in the closet out of fear and shame, no adolescent needs that. Their experience in school was nothing like the straight kids and that's just wrong. Things are better that way now but it's like we have gone to far. Mutilating and sterilizing teens is soo wrong.
Remember in the 90's when lesbians were the big thing and girls would say they're bi but never have relations with another woman outside of kissing to tease young guys at parties. All those women, well the most part are married with kids and straight- like it was a fad. Seems being trans is the new fad kids are jumping on.
I saw a video of a girl who identifies as paint. people trying to hard to be different when we already are different from each other.
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Reminding him of his talents and encouraging him to share his passion for music can be incredibly uplifting and motivating.
 
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